One Step at a Time - October 2016

[NoraC]

Really tired of negative energy. I try to focus on the good and positive of people........sometimes more successfully than others. But, it is discouraging to see in my safe/happy places.
This has been bad couple weeks. I am making the choice to choose happiness.

[Nursie]

Really tired of negative energy. I try to focus on the good and positive of people........sometimes more successfully than others. But, it is discouraging to see in my safe/happy places.
This has been bad couple weeks. I am making the choice to choose happiness.

Aint that the truth Nora!! I see negative energy all around me and it is so hard not to get sucked in to everyone's selfish BS!!
I'm with you, choosing the happy trails.

[NoraC]

Nursie - sorry that I x-posted earlier. Break was over & I couldn't get back on.
You sound good! Very important to not get hungry or thirsty. At least it was with me.

[abcowboy]

Liz, I could be way off base with this, but I wanted to let you know what I’ve been thinking. I haven’t seen you post anything positive about your counselling sessions. I feel that because you think you are being”forced” to go, you’re not interested in anything your therapist has to offer. I felt the same way before I went to my counsellor, there was no way a complete stranger could or would understand what I was going through. But Bubba and the kids were right, I had to try something else because what I was doing wasn’t working.

I was sure I would never drink again after my hospital experience, but I knew I’d felt that way before as well and I ended up drinking again. So I figured the counselling couldn’t hurt, so I begrudgingly went. Once I opened myself up to the fact that I needed more help, I decided to have an open mind about why I was going.

I almost hated the fact that my family, and everyone else, might be right, that counselling would be the best thing for me. And I was afraid, what if the counselling didn’t help? What would happen if I started drinking again? In my mind there would only be one option left, rehab, and I knew I definitely didn’t want any part of that!

So my advice, go to your sessions with an open mind. Talk to your therapist about the things that are bothering you, even the fact that you feel you are being forced to be there. At the end of the day ,it never hurts to have one more person in your support group.

[Lizann]

Hey guys, I get what you mean Nora and Nursie. I choose to step away from the negative and the drama but sometimes it's hard. I don't like confrontation and honestly when I'm at work it's easier to just do the best I can and "keep my mouth shut".
Nora, I am sorry this has been a hard couple of weeks. I am here if you need a shoulder.
Nursie, you are sounding really good. How are you managing?
Nora, in answer to you're question this was my 4th time with the therapist and I don't quite know how it's going. I am expected to just start talking because this is "my time". I feel like I just keep repeating myself. Am I missing something? Any input from anyone would be appreciated.
Enjoyed the rest of my afternoon. Met a friend at the mall and we just enjoyed each other's company. Just don't see each other enough anymore. Got my hair cut tonight and now am snuggling with Lucy, hubby is close by.
Sweet dreams.

[Lizann]

Liz, I could be way off base with this, but I wanted to let you know what I’ve been thinking. I haven’t seen you post anything positive about your counselling sessions. I feel that because you think you are being”forced” to go, you’re not interested in anything your therapist has to offer. I felt the same way before I went to my counsellor, there was no way a complete stranger could or would understand what I was going through. But Bubba and the kids were right, I had to try something else because what I was doing wasn’t working.

I was sure I would never drink again after my hospital experience, but I knew I’d felt that way before as well and I ended up drinking again. So I figured the counselling couldn’t hurt, so I begrudgingly went. Once I opened myself up to the fact that I needed more help, I decided to have an open mind about why I was going.

I almost hated the fact that my family, and everyone else, might be right, that counselling would be the best thing for me. And I was afraid, what if the counselling didn’t help? What would happen if I started drinking again? In my mind there would only be one option left, rehab, and I knew I definitely didn’t want any part of that!

So my advice, go to your sessions with an open mind. Talk to your therapist about the things that are bothering you, even the fact that you feel you are being forced to be there. At the end of the day ,it never hurts to have one more person in your support group.

Thank you cowboy! I thought I was going in with an open mind and actually am happy to do this for my family. I will take your advice to heart and open my mind even more and share these feelings. Thank you.:love:

[NoraC]

Liz- It did take me awhile to get comfortable with my therapist. But, she would raw me out. If I didn't have anything to talk about, she always had enough questions and information that the time flew by.

I'm just going to wave to you all and catch you tomorrow. It takes me so long to type on my phone. :congratulatory:

[actiongirl46]

Hi all . . . not doing that great. When my relationship with my hubby is off, I feel off, really off. I don't know why he can't be more supportive and loving instead of critical and judgmental. UGH. I feel I can't ever ever win with him so why even try. It is so crushing. I work really hard full-time, have a couple side jobs, end up cooking most nights of the week and running the kids around when he is supposed to be the stay-at-home dad. He has been binge watching Game of Thrones. Yet, I am the one with the problem. Our relationship is all about what I am doing or not doing. Sorry to vent, I am just feeling so low and boxed in right now. This sucks.

Liz - I think YOU should ask your therapist some questions. What do you think of . . . ?? What do you suggest . . . ?? Can you give me some language for dealing with . . . ? What do you think a healthy person would do in this situation/relationship/problem? He/she should be talking to you more and giving you feedback on your thought patterns. If they are not doing that, why even go? A good therapist will help you gain more confidence in your voice and what you need out of relationships. Just my 2 cents for what its worth.

More later - AG

[Lizann]

AG, sorry your hubby is not being supportive. It does sound like you're doing it all and I can't imagine how he can justify not doing anything. Maybe if you did less they would realize how valuable you are! Vent away, I personally find it helpful and hope you do too. Hopefully things will get better. I don't know if it would work for you but when I compliment my husband for doing something he really runs with that. I once gushed how nice it was that the table was set when I got home from work and how it really took some of the pressure off me. He now does it as often as he is able. Just a thought.
Thanks for the advice with the therapist. I will do that next week!

[NoraC]

AG - I'm sorry about the issues at home. Wish I had the magic answer. Come here and vent. It helps.
You gave great advice to Liz regarding the therapist.

[Rusty]

A Quick Pop-In for Me...

Sorry I have been AWOL but my traveling and work schedule have been horrendous. :-(

AG-sorry to hear about your husband not being supportive! Liz's advice on complimenting him was a great idea. He probably has a low opinion of himself and that's why he's procrastinating/escaping with Game of Thrones. I have never watched it but I have heard of it.

Liz-AG's advice on your therapist was fantastic! Right on! I think therapists wait for their clients to ASK THEM the questions and also, if this therapist doesn't work for you, try a woman. No offense to any of our beloved guys here...aihfl, Techie, Mr. G, etc. I just think women can understand other women better than men.

Cowboy-these were my feelings exactly, although my family did not want me to go to therapy...if I didn't go to rehab, they wanted me to go to AA and I refused to do that. This part of your post hit home with me: almost hated the fact that my family, and everyone else, might be right, that counselling would be the best thing for me. And I was afraid, what if the counselling didn’t help? What would happen if I started drinking again? In my mind there would only be one option left, rehab, and I knew I definitely didn’t want any part of that!

Nora-thank you always for your care and thinking of me. How sweet of you to arrange bowls in your bedroom so your mom can bathe. Your patience is absolutely admirable and I could only wish to have your patience.

Ok, now I really have to get to work.

Happy POETS' DAY, everyone!

[abcowboy]

Lizann!

[NoraC]

happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!

[paulywogg]

Happy birthday sweet Liz!!

[Nursie]

Happy Birthday Lizann!!