Not sure why

[Back]

Hello

This is by way not the first time I've been here. Loosing the will to fight to be fair but guess not can't be if I'm here. Don't fecking know. Self harmed again tonight yes a complete fecking up. Not looking for sympathy from anyone .... Tbf not sure why I'm even typing

[mario]

Hiya Black,
welcome back , If you came here its because you feel comfortable coming here and maybe you feel you can get help here ? I cant really say much about the self harming except have you seen professional people ?
Post here as much as you want as there are plenty of people here who can relate and maybe even help.

[Back]

hi thank you so much for replying, self harm I'll sort myself it my arm I don't why it releases something x Would love to move forward with AL just 2.5 weeks ago came out of rehab and now into a marriage break up, I think if we could separate living it would help. Sorry to moan lucky I'm alive x

[abcowboy]

:welcome: back Back! You're here because you know you have a problem, and you also know you can't quit on your own. Sound about right? I suggest you get rid of all the booze you have in the house and then start drinking water, and lots of it. Tomorrow will be a new day, why not make it the first day of your AF life!

Read through any of the threads, you'll see you're not alone, we've all been there. Read, post, read, ask for help when you need it, and don't be afraid. You can do this!

[paulywogg]

Hi Back, welcome to MWO sorry about the marriage situation, that would be really hard to deal with right after rehab also sorry about the self harm,please post and lean on us for support

[starty]

Hiya Back. Huge welcome!
Self harming is a toughie as it does release endorphins which make us feel better. Seems like you are going through loads just now. Hopefully posting will help you sort out your feelings a bit?
Anwyay, big welcome and congrats on posting. Its a big step

[treetops]

Welcome to MWO Back. Self harming and addictions often go together and create a cycle that can be really hard to get out of. If you can deal with the booze question this will help to break that cycle of loathing and harm - as well as what Starty says, the release that harming can give. It sounds like you need to take advantage of all of the support you can muster. When you left rehab - was there follow-up? A counsellor to call? Do you have a friend/someone you can also call?
Here at MWO we can offer lots of practical advice as well as moral support (since you have been here you know this). The Nest and the Newbies threads are a good place to start.
Perhaps if you feel up to it you can tell us a bit about the recent drinking patterns? Its important to break these too. You are going through a huge amount at the moment - so try to not do too much and overwhelm yourself. But you also need to have some things to do to distract yourself. When you get the urge to drink, post here. There is usually someone who will respond. As others have said - its important to have no booze in the house, and also to avoid situations where there is booze at the moment.
Let us know how you are doing at the moment.

[Back]

Thank you Cowboy Pauly Starty Mario and Tree,

Tree my drinking escalated when my brother committed suicide, we had abuse from our father. Things have got scary since vodka became my newish buddy�� And no I had no support after rehab.. My shit though can't have my hand held forever x

[Back]

Tree self harm is a trap I need to break out of and I will x Been very selfish and not asked how you all are

[treetops]

Sounds you have an awful lot to deal with there. Its not a sign of weakness to ask for help and it sure sounds like you need to talk about some of these painful matters. One of the big mistakes many people with addiction and AL problems make is to think they can do this alone. That is partly why the bottle becomes your 'friend'. How has today been for you?
Thanks for asking after us - many of us haven't touched AL for a long time - but we still have to face and bury those demons from the past, or find ways to deal with them. Its not easy but drinking just makes it so much worse.

[Guitarista]

Hi Back,

Try to keep connected to some sort of lifeline or way forward, whether here or in your 3D life. Maybe a booze counsellor, positive friend/s?

Keep us posted friend.

[mario]

Hi back keep posting , its nice to have somewhere to get it out and off you.

I grand thanks for asking .

[Back]

Hi Treetops,

What a beautiful name, one of the first things I appreciated after rehab was nature, the smell and sight of all those beautiful things I am normally too numb to see. Sounds so shite but it was true. Anyway bootstraps pulled up no drink tomorrow and here is to a happy life. I am a half full glass person and as much as I love my hubby it's time to move on. I am going to have to go to AA I think because I am not sure I can do this alone. I have so so so so so much in my y a p p p y head shut the flip up! I'm trying to read a lot read Alan Carr (OK) and also sober stick figure (amazing!!!) any recommendations. Just downloaded blackout ffs how many of those have I had over the last 8yrs :,( x

[Back]

Guitarista and Mario,

Thank you pals I will get back to where I was when I walked out of rehab x

[Mick]

hi back....glad you found here...guess the reason for that is you aint quite finished fighting....youve got quite a bit of crap going on so if we can help in any way ..thats what its about...