One Step at a Time - January 2017

[Pavati]

Sorry to butt in, but I do the same thing, AG. I don't dwell, but when I need them I have plenty of bad memories to trot out and remind myself why I don't drink.

[NoraC]

Pav - you could never butt in :hug:

[NoSugar]

Another buttinsky :wink:. AG, many of us develop the pattern of not eating for a long time before our "witching hour" because without our realizing it, our brain has figured out that the alcohol 'hit' is all the more rewarding when blood sugar is low. After a time, the wiring is so screwed up that we can't distinguish hunger from a craving to drink. The amazing intensity of the feeling when blood sugar is low is a survival mechanism we've evolved because hypoglycemia can be deadly. Our poor brains get to the point of thinking we need to drink to live!

I used to hate being invited to lunch, which I usually skipped. I pretended to myself it was because I didn't want to overeat but the truth is, it was because I knew it would lessen the impact of the upcoming first drink which on an empty stomach, was that feeling we all were going for - and then spent the rest of the drinking session chasing but not feeling again, setting up the need to repeat the next day. What a vicious cycle!

If I get really hungry, I still feel that "need" but know now that it just means I have low blood sugar - it has nothing to do with some sort of alcohol "requirement" which is what it used to feel like! Maybe you could keep a packet of nuts or trail mix with you all the time and plan to always consume that before taking a drink. I think odds are pretty good that would get you past the most intense part of the craving to the point that your brain is getting the fuel it needs, allowing you to make a considered choice, not a desperate act that seems like you need to do to stay alive.

All the best, NS

[paulywogg]

Hey all,Pav,don't ever think you're butting in! Everyone's posts are welcome/needed here,AG,I use both looking back like Pav and Nora but also the positives of not drinking,being grateful and in the moment, Lav,talks about gratitude and mindfulness and I never knew what she was going on about until now,also I hafta eat! I get what I think is anxiety...shaky,dizzy,a terrible feeling,I eat and its gone instantly! Keep a snack in your purse for emergency al craving killers,I like nuts,jerky or protein bars very critical for us to stay full and hydrated,Nora,did you order a lot from Amazon fresh or just a few things? I'm curious about the service and quality,Liz,are you working today? I'm still just gonna take it easy today don't wanna get dry socket,I took a whopping 2,500 steps yesterday, today probably be the same but I guess its OK to be lazy sometimes, waves to all,have a great AF day

[paulywogg]

X-post NS,thanks for your post too

[actiongirl46]

Good ideas, thank you.

I have been keeping trail mix in my purse but yesterday I needed more - I am a "meal" person and my hubs is a "snacker". He needs to realize and act on that. In the past, I would let him off the hook and hang out in the kitchen cooking in the evenings. Well, you all know what I was doing with that sneaky glass behind the roll of paper towels. Who was I fooling? No one.

I like the idea of trotting bad memories out and them putting them away. (Did I just type that? Yep.) Lord knows, I have plenty to choose from and many are fairly recent.

You guys are going to get SICK OF ME this weekend. I have to get through Day 5, 6, and 7. Hopefully, Byrdie will let me have another set of butt cheeks on Sunday. Something to look forward to! I want those BUTT CHEEKS!!!

[NoSugar]

I'm not a snacker, either, AG and am very conditioned not to eat between meals. I looked at my emergency snack as sort of an anti-drinking "medicine". Another good thing to do is to have a large glass of water - sometimes the thirst signals seem like cravings, too.

I'm sure Byrdie will have your moon ready for you :smile:.

[NoraC]

Gratitude is huge in my life. I can't believe that I forgot to mention that. :love:

I love having you all post here. Please don't be strangers

[paulywogg]

AG,your wine hidden behind the paper towel roll cracked me up,my hiding spot was in the cabinet while cooking and I'd guard it I'm with NS,I view the emergency snacks as my "medicine", I can easily lose weight, its a lot harder to recover from a bender

[techie]

Thanks Nora. Gratitude is key to our recovery. It underpins all our little successes. Those three foot tosses. It is also a necessary element in ones ability to manifest more abundance in life. Make it happen, Steppers xo

[Lizann]

Good conversation going on here! I agree with everything that's already been said. Gratitude is a big part of recovery. I find even when I'm irritable if I force myself to be in a good mood, put a smile on my face albeit fake eventually my mood does turn more positive.
Also for me, when in get hungry like that AG and there is no meal in my near future I eat some hummus. They now come in smaller one serving containers and with a cracker, carrots, cucumber or even just with a spoon it helps curb my hunger and satisfies. For me it works as lunch too and it's good for you!
AG, I'll be around most of the weekend and assure you I will not tire of you. You can do this, get through the weekend without al. Can you find something fun to do, something to look forward to? Call me if you need to talk.

Pauly, I forgot you got the tooth pulled! Hope you're feeling ok and heal quickly. Maybe some of your sinus issues were really wisdom tooth related? Just a thought.
Mark is going to Las Vegas next week on business. He says he will be working 12 hours a day, and he better be!! A business trip to Europe may be I his very near future. Pauly, let me know if you see Mark and if he's behaving:egad:

[actiongirl46]

Checking in! A good work day for me. Its amazing how productive you can be when you are not hungover.

I woke up this morning on my own (this is very unusual for me, I usually need about 5 rounds of the snooze button, go figure). I felt grateful for a good nights sleep and a clear head to tackle the work day.

But, similar to yesterday, as the clock got closer to 5pm I started getting really antsy. Then angry. Then REALLY angry. Sigh. I forced myself to take the dog out for a long walk and called my friend who is in recovery. Walked and talked, then came home and watched some trash TV. (All of that helped A LOT.) Had to cook dinner again as hubs had to take our little athlete to another sporting event (he plays in a tennis league on the weekends). Cooking was better today. Had a nice cold glass of milk while chopping garlic.

Well, I don't know why I'm spewing all these little details! I think I'm talking to myself because each little thing I just typed seemed like a big deal at the time. But, I got through it.

Liz, I love hummus! Great idea. I also like your idea of planning something fun for tomorrow night. I haven't been to the movies in a really long time. (They don't serve booze at our theater, ha ha, why go?)

I hate the feeling of anxiety and depression during the witching hour. Yes, it does pass around 9pm. Yes, its not as bad as the self-loathing in the mornings when I drank. But it still sucks!

Ok, enough moaning and groaning. The real news is I MADE IT. Day 5 is DONE.

[Glass Half Empty]

Hi AG

Well done sweetie not just by not drinking but doing the hard work to identify your feelings and start to analyse them.

The anger you feel is probably a result of cognitive dissonance. You know you don’t really want to drink, but you have years of conditioning telling you it’s desirable or even essential. Having those competing feelings having a war in your brain and not having an easy way to assuage them would make anyone cross!!

I know food is a huge issue for me. Most of the women in my immediate family have eating disorders. It’s kind of an unspoken competition to see who can go without food the longest. Somehow I think a few of us worked out we could break the rules by drinking instead. I don’t know how I made this connection but I realized one day that whenever I had a bad craving it would almost always be followed 20 minutes later by a hunger pain. I still find it very hard to eat when I know my body is telling me that's what I need.

Anyway huge congrats on Day 5. xxx

[Rusty]

Good Morning, Friends!!:happy2:

I am absolutely thrilled with the conversations and the superb advice our thread has communicated this week.

AG-CONGRATULATIONS ON 5 DAYS AF!!!:sohappy: All the advice on keeping snacks handy was right on! I go to Wal-Mart and get these snack packages that have nuts and apples in them. Some have carrots and celery. When it's warm, I keep a cooler in my car to keep my snacks cold, and when it's cold, I just leave them in my car or in my laptop backpack so I can grab a midday snack at work. This helped with the witching hours cravings.

Nursie-CONGRATULATIONS ON 90 DAYS AF!!:sohappy: I peeked on another thread and learned this information. Haha!

Liz-your advice to AG was superb!! Thank you so much for reaching out to her as you do to others when struggling. The time you have spent is sharing your wisdom has been invaluable.

Nora-I appreciate your honesty in telling us about your husband finding your "water" bottle. I would have died. Is your marriage a lot happier without the booze? He must be so proud of you!!

Glassie-are you all healed now after your injury? How is your granddaughter? This hit home with me:

The anger you feel is probably a result of cognitive dissonance. You know you don’t really want to drink, but you have years of conditioning telling you it’s desirable or even essential. Having those competing feelings having a war in your brain and not having an easy way to assuage them would make anyone cross!!

Techie, darling! Thanks for popping in! How are you feeling?

Pauly-I know you got your tooth pulled..OUCH! How are you feeling? Hey, I thought of you earlier this week. Wisconsin is full of Native American owned and operated casinos...and two of the tribes are fighting..the Stockbridge and the Ho-Chunk, because one of the tribes wants to expand its casino and the other tribe says it will cut into their territory and they are trying to block the expansion. It's front-page news here.

Skendall-Hey lady...how are you? How are things between you and your daughter? How is Vivian?

Red-no football this Sunday! What will we do all day? Haha!

Wildflowers-please check in! We care!

Hello to our visitors...Pav and NS! So glad to see you posting here... and a shoutout to Cowboy, Mr. G. and other lurkers, friends and guests.

I am glad that we have stayed away from political conversation here and let's keep it that way, OK?

I am off to do errands. Happy AF Saturday!!!!

[actiongirl46]

The anger you feel is probably a result of cognitive dissonance. You know you don’t really want to drink, but you have years of conditioning telling you it’s desirable or even essential. Having those competing feelings having a war in your brain and not having an easy way to assuage them would make anyone cross!!

Glassie - thank you, that makes sense! I don't want that poison in my body. But I think my brain doesn't know what else to do to relax.

I'm reading "Under the Influence". I would highly recommend it to newbies or any family members. It is heavy on the science of alcoholism and how it impacts the body. I'll pull in some quotes later.

Have a good day all!