What is your background?

[autumn]

I was sat thinking about my drinking days, as you do. But not in a nostalgic way at all.
Those rose coloured glasses fell off long ago! I only think about the hell it dragged me into and how I have no desire to go back. But I did think about how I got here. And I don't think my jobs helped. My first job was with an alcoholic dentist and we used to drink whiskey every night after work, I was 17! This went on for a good few years and then I got into sales and recruitment. I was doomed!! We drank if we did a deal & we drank if we lost a deal. We wined and dined our clients.
I guess I was destined for a drink problem..... or did I pick those jobs because of all the booze it allowed?? It was so sociable!

So I was wondering how others fell into it. Because it sure does creep up on you! But funny how you're the last to know.

I fessed up today to a new friend "that I had an alcohol problem" which was massively brave of me as she is the first person I have told that never knew me 3 years ago! Gulp!

[Sunbeam]

Yes Autumn, it really did creep up on me. Somewhere through my 40's and early 50's alcohol turned into a problem. Before that, I don't remember it was a problem though there were a few occasions when I drank too much. Was I ever a person who would have just one drink and be done? Maybe not.

I am so happy and grateful that I am now done drinking for good. My life is SO much better.

[paulywogg]

Crept up on me too Autumn,I was nearly 32 and two of my younger brothers came to stay with me for a few months, they would drink a few beers in the garage and one night I joined them and had 1,slept so deep that I thought I had found a nice,safe cure for my insomnia that I had for years,1 became 2 then 4 then 6 and before I knew it I was up to a 12 pack or more all day,everyday,I wish I wouldn't have ever taken the first sip,I managed my life fine without alcohol for years,I just don't know why I let it into my life.

[Orimus]

Snuck right on up on me. I was practicing yoga and meditating, working as a psychiatric tech then I met a girl. A drink or two with happy hour and by 32, two years later, I had stopped practicing and landed with my first DUI. Still working on reversing that trend.

[lex]

Crept right up on me, too. When I was 15. Seemed like what us cool guys were supposed to do. Have a couple of beers every day, then a few more on Friday and Saturday nights. Took 45 years to figure out that's not the way cool guys and gals do it. They enjoy life much more without it. Me too now.

[kronkcarr]

It didn't sneak up on me. I drank through college and it was acceptable. I chose friends who were like me with their drinking. I was in AA and Rational Recovery at certain times. I was always functional but I ruined a number of relationships. I finally got sober after reading The End of My Addiction and taking baclofen. What a change! I'm grateful beyond words.

[madonmehndi]

I started drinking aged 14, firstly at home with friends 'liberating' spirits from our parents drinks cabinets then swigging cider on street corners, parks and bus shelters then nights on the town, staying out until all hours drinking as much as my wages would allow, 'progressed' onto peach and strawberry wines at home when my daughter was small then over the years I drank stronger and stronger wines and the quantities and days I drank gradually increased until the last couple of years I was drinking one to two bottles almost every night, I have admitted to myself now that I have always had a problem with alcohol and that I can NEVER drink 'normally' so I am not drinking at all!! I am 89 days sober today and looking forward to the rest of my life

[available]

i didnt drink till 17 or 18 and had binges on weekends and blackouts. thank god i had 4 children which kept me reasonably sober except for those binges but i did start slowly drinking more to relieve "that" stress and i felt al solved it and i drank with my husband and it was apparently fun. Separating from my ex after 17 years and meeting another man straight away (bad move) led me to drink more and when that relationship broke up i had a nervous breakdown and my drinking spiraled out of control for 6+ years very badly. Even my brother dying from al did not give me a wake up call as i thought i was never as bad as he was. Sadly i ended up "that bad".

Now with 3+ years sober i know i can never ever have that drink.

[abcowboy]

I think I was destined to become an alcoholic the first time I let alcohol pass over my tongue. I remember my first time drinking, my first time getting drunk. I was 12 years old and my best friend’s parents were gone for the evening. I was at his house and we were shooting pool and just talking. His dad had a pretty well stocked bar and Ron laughed and suggested we try out a few of the bottles. I opened a mickey of Hawaiian Okolehao, not knowing it was rare and expensive. I was doomed after the first drink! I drank half the bottle and had to stagger down the back alley home, stopping twice to throw up. I remember the hangover that Saturday morning, how I thought I was going to die, and I also remember thinking Saturday afternoon how much fun it was to drink! I could go on and on, my dad picking me up at the police station when I was 16 for buying beer underage, my rodeo partner and I hitting the ditch in his new Ford Mustang without spilling a drop of the open beers we were both holding, the countless times driving when I shouldn’t have been. I guess the Good Lord was looking out for me even then, but I’ll never understand why.

And I have to admit, even to myself, that there were some fun times, but the fun times were only when I didn’t drink to get drunk, which didn’t happen often. I don’t know why I didn’t or couldn’t accept that I had a problem, but I’m glad I eventually did! I have the rest of my life to look forward to with just good memories to be made…

[Pavati]

Looking back, I know I always had a problem. First, I LOVED it too much, starting right away. When I was young I would have nights of uncontrolled drinking that lead to embarrassment and shame, but I NEVER associated that with a larger problem with alcohol. I just thought I hadn't figured out the off switch which other people had.

I think things really began to shift when I had kids. I was trying to manage a big career and two kids, and felt I wasn't doing very well with either. I drank to decompress and escape those feelings, and gradually that drinking ramped up to scary levels, drinking every night, etc. It really became pretty bad that last year when I was attempting to REALLY "moderate," which led to bouts of not drinking interspersed with bouts of apparently drinking to make up for lost time.

I am so relieved to have that behind me. It turns out I am much better at my job AND parenting when I am not drinking. Duh.

Thanks for this thread - as sorry as I am to see you great people having had struggles with alcohol, there is some comfort in knowing I am not alone.

Pav

[j-vo]

I started drinking at about 17. That's when we started going to house parties when parents weren't there. I thought I found my new best friend, as I was amazed how i could just be so sociable and not feel awkward. I remember being so excited for friday and saturday to come. Relief is what I thought. And that continued and got worse and worse. In my late 30's is when I really started to have a problem even though I always binged on the weekends. I started experimenting with hard liquor and realized I didn't have to drink as much and still feel that relief. Alcohol has robbed me of so much life. Thank God I don't have to let it take anymore from me.