One Step at a Time - March 2017

[Glass Half Empty]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

Oh Liz - that is very unfair of Anne. Surely attending a funeral is more important than anything else. She is taking terrible advantage of your sweet nature. I hope you can sort something out. :heartbeat:

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

Good Morning, All!

Liz-I would definitely go to your boss and tell her you need the day off for this funeral. Give the name of the person, and then take a couple of those little paper funeral programs with you if she wants proof you went to the funeral. If she asks if Anne can switch with you, say, "no, she says she can't, but you know me...I cover for Anne ALL the time and I NEVER ask for time off unless it's an emergency...like this." The only way Anne will stop taking advantage of you is if you stop letting her do so. The next time she asks if she can switch days for you or if you will cover for her, say, "No, I can't." Don't apologize and don't give a reason. I know that will be VERY hard for you to do because maybe you are a bit like me...a people pleaser. Once you tell Anne, "No," once or twice, she'll get the message and she'll stop.

Hi to everyone else...lots of work to do before I leave for Detroit..and to top it off, my refrigerator stopped working yesterday afternoon. UGH! Have a great Tuesday, everyone. :-)

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

Hi, y'all. I've been lurking and managed to read the whole thread...

I'm glad it took me a couple of days, actually, because the parts about the husband really struck home. They wouldn't have if I'd read them yesterday when everything seemed "fine". I had a lousy day yesterday, and really wanted to drink. I told my husband about it when he got home (late) from work. His reaction? Drama. Everything is all about me, all about my drinking (or not) and I'm sick of it. I can't stand to hear him breath this morning.

It was nice to read your thoughts and suggestions about the situation.

Anyway, don't want to make this all about me! (I would be totally self-conscious reading that comment, except I haven't been around for soooo long, and am just an interloper here. It's just funny how the brain works, right? I couldn't help but have an immediate thought that Rusty was talking about me. I forget it's not always ALL about me. Except when it is. hahahahaha!)

Good thoughts and prayers to those who are struggling. (I was alarmed to see the list of people who haven't checked in for a while. I hope they're okay.) Liz, I hope you are able to arrange to go to the funeral. AG, hang in there. I'm right behind you. (33 days today.)

Thanks, y'all, for being here so consistently and with such great support. As always, this thread is a gem.

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

NE!!!:heartbeat:Great to see you here!!! Please stick around!! We would love to have you join our happy, supportive, and totally amazing thread. NO, that comment was not about you, you goofball. You always ask about other people. I get it when you mention that your husband was not supportive at all last night. It reminds me of the scene in "When A Man Loves A Woman' and Meg Ryan is fresh out of rehab, and she is sitting on the couch at night, crying, and her husband comes home and gets ticked off because he doesn't know how to comfort her and gets really frustrated and they end up arguing. So sorry, NE.:hug:

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

Hey all,NE,great to see you and congrats on 33 days I'm sure that post wasn't about you,it was about someone who used to be here but hasn't been around in a while,sometimes I feel invisible when I post,not necessarily here but other places,does anybody else ever feel like that?maybe I'm just sensitive no biggie,yesterday at work we ran out of those paper neck strips so I was using paper towel strips,another girl was using cotton strips and the other girl used towels! I had to text one of the girls coming in to grab some on her way,at least we had some way to improvise hope today is easy but busy,there's a dinosaur thing is going on this weekend that I'd love to take Louie to,I showed him the commercial yesterday and he got super excited, its not too pricey $20 each but you figure me,hubs,Lou and maybe Brady and its $100 plus I imagine they'll have stuff to buy,anyways wishing us all a very happy AF Tuesday

[actiongirl46]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

Happy Tuesday!

Ne, so great to see you here. I remember you from awhile back. How are your studies? Are you still working on that or are you done? Congrats on 33 days!! That is awesome.

I think I was so focused on getting my 30 days in that I didn't look beyond that number. That's not a bad thing, I needed to be focused and determined, but now I'm in a different place. Switching from beginning or just "giving it a try" to finding out how this will work in my life. I still can't think about that forever thing yet, Liz shared with me to say, Just Not Today, so helpful.

Ha! More random wandering abstract posts to come! Lucky Steppers you. See u later - AG

[SKendall]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

Ne, good to see you.

I agree with your wondering if it was meant for you, I was wondering if she meant me!

Sorry you had a bad night. I noticed in EOMA that you hadn't posted in a while. We would love to hear more about you.

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

Nope, I was not talking about you, Skendall! ;-) :-)

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

Great to*see* you guys, too. SK! I have been meaning to catch up with you. Went to rehab and I couldn't have a phone, and computer time was limited and frustrating. That explains the radio silence! No online time, no caffeine and worst of all, no cigarettes! I thought I was gonna die. Ha.

Rusty, I knew it couldn't have been about me but that doesn't change my wonky brain from making everything all about me. Pauly, I have, at times, felt invisible, obnoxious, totally self-conscious (always!) and lots of other emotions about posting. I can definitely obsess about what I've written, or what other people write, for eons. But still, posting here on MWO had been a lifesaver for me. I love this joint. 🤗
I finished school in Dec 2015, but haven't done anything with it yet. I decided(?) to lose myself in the bottom of a bottle instead.
Hope it's a good AF day for y'all! Xx

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

Hi Friends, I am on the plane and headed to Detroit.

NE, it is so great to have you back! Would your husband consider couples' counseling? Don't most rehabs encourage some kind of therapy for the AL and their spouse/partner, etc? You said on EOMA that you knew of people who used/drank while in rehab..wow, did someone sneak booze and drugs in for them? Please share what you got out of rehab...we would love to hear about your experience. Hugs!

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

I was just gonna ask that Rusty NE,what made you decide to go? How was it?

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

Hey guys! Ne good to hear from you. I too, would love to hear about your experience in rehab.

Thanks for all the advice about Ann. She apologized first thing when I got in this morning. I didn't say much. My boss popped in shortly after I got in and I told her. We left Ann and went to check the schedule in the back and said to me "seriously, she can't cover for you one day?" My boss does have enough staff and will use a tech to cover me. I will heed all of your advice going forward and this will come up during evaluations, I am sure..

Pauly, I do feel invisible at times too. That dinosaur thing sounds like a lot of fun. My advice, you only go around once in this lifetime, enjoy the show. Louie's excitement would be worth it all.

Having a little trouble keeping my eyes open, so I'm off to bed. Thank you all so much for your support. I love you all. Have a peaceful AF night!

[actiongirl46]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

Checking in! Another AF day is done. Very busy at work today but will wake up clear headed to attack the morning's presentation. Things with hubs are better, sometimes it takes him awhile (e.g. a day or so) to think about what I've said.

Liz, good for you. I'm glad your supervisor could see it too.

Rusty, enjoy Detroit. I never get over there, we are closer to Chicago. I hear there is a Motown museum if you have time.

Ne, welcome. I'm so glad you are on a sober path, great job.

Nora, are you home??

Have a good night (or morning) - AG

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

Hey all. Been thinking of you all. Just haven't had the chance to really post to everyone. :love:
Ne - congrats on being AF.


PS - I think we're all insecure and worry about our posts or if someone responds. We feel ignored or left out. But, the truth is that everyone here truly cares about each other.....:heartbeat:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Re: One Step at a Time - March 2017

I agree, Nora, that a lack of direct response isn't necessarily being ignored. I sometimes (often!) feel overwhelmed by all of the people I would like to respond to. My posts are already long! They'd be endless.

Rusty, they do have a family program, over a weekend, and we did go. Unfortunately it was sorely lacking. Also unfortunately, it was mostly parents, and/or people who hadn't been through all of this before. Ed's got this disease as badly as I do, but he didn't stop taking baclofen, and has remained indifferent. I relapsed. Big difference, at least in his mind. Part of my frustration with him!

I went to rehab for two reason. The first is that I just couldn't stop drinking. It was out of control, and I didn't care. Sort of. I mean, I cared. But I just. couldn't. stop. The second is that Ed was insistent that I go. He was scared and disgusted and furious and at his wits end. Rehab doesn't "work" in terms of success defined by long-term abstinence. I know this. So it was really hard for me to take the plunge and commit to going. I am SO GLAD I did, though. It was what I needed to jump start my recovery this time around. Still, it was very expensive, even though I had insurance coverage, and not for everyone. I had a great counselor, and got a lot out of the education, even though I think I know everything. I also loved being around a bunch of women all the time! The place I went had a buddy system, and we couldn't be alone, at all ever. We had to be with a member of the same sex at all times! Very disconcerting for this very isolationist drinker!!!

I'll post more about it on my thread at some point when I've got some time and have collected my thoughts. I don't want to burden you all with endless words.

Thanks for the encouragement and the kudos! Day... 34 for me. woot!