MORRISON!!!!

[morrison]

MORRISON!!!!

Hello bootcampbarbie. Thanks for the kind words. I noticed you responded to many of my threads, and I haven't have a chance to thank you for all you have said. You are a vital part of this metaphorical table as well. Glad you are here. How are you doing? Are you doing abs or mods?

[bootcampbarbie]

MORRISON!!!!

i actually started out here about a year ago march is when i found this program and i titrated up to about 300 topa which was awesome and was mods and that carried me through mods til now. i had titrated down to about 25 topa a day and had gone back to my old habits. so i came back to the boards about a month ago. i've since realized that i need to start my program brand new as i had reverted everything back to my old ways not entirely but enough to scare me. i haven't been able to go af but that is my intention morrison. i do not believe i am a mods person. infact, before mods meant i would down a bottle. this time i saw me go to 1 1/2 or even 2 bottles of wine in a sitting. so i saw my drinking patterns while become less in a week but consume more in one sitting. absolutely horrifying but enough to get me back here after not being on the boards for 8 months. so, i'm now at about 150 topa and am going to go up to 200 which i think is the point where the cravings stop for me. and putting together one day at a time as you are while the meds kick in. and the kudzo and l gllut and other stuff too help. but i have to get myself on solid ground as i can't go back to who i was and be that person for my future. that timetable has run out. the after effects are a longer stretch and i have no where to hide so to speak. it really is the dawn of reckoning i suppose. i can't go backward but yet i do on occasion. like i have amnesia or something about the next day's aftereffects. it is that allure of something of the magic pill. so i have to remember for me today morrison that this reality is the one i get to stay in not the one the bottle provides. and take my meds for the day. so, see i do remember you as you've been here awhile. and well i've been here and back. they would have called me in AA a retread. lol but that feels so utterly demoralizing and shameful. i would rather i'm a born again or a new starter or something. boots has seen the light side then saw a whole new fricking dark side and it wasn't pretty what so ever. and now is crawling back up on the ledge to face the sunshine and really wanting that light side again. so kick in topa stronger and stronger. i like this morrison thread. it is going to be my new thread. checking in daily with mayor morrison. nice

[rachel28]

MORRISON!!!!

thank u morrison, feels good to know u r here , all a u, im so pleased u r feelin happier, i hope u stay smiling, xxxxxxxxxx

[bootcampbarbie]

MORRISON!!!!

rachel, i see you post alot in places. think i've responded a few times. i just want you to know that i've been where you are quite a bit in my lifetime. and i'm knowing that you can do it one minute at a time. tis a serious piece we play with. as i tell myself today this is quite serious and i have a habit of smoking when i drink as well. and it has to stop so am taking some meds for that. but i seriously have to stop killing myself. this isn't pleasant what i'm doing to myself. and truthfully it is some kind of self punishment program and so to be able to have some physical relief from the meds so i can work on the emotional side of it, and get my heart wrapped around loving me big time, is really the work. so i wanted you to know i read your posts and am always sending you cyber hugs when ever i read your posts.

[rachel28]

MORRISON!!!!

hi barbie, i just posted on "where do i go from here" mayb explaining what im thinkin at mo, thanks 4 your replies, hope u r well xxxxxxx

[bootcampbarbie]

MORRISON!!!!

i had read that. i am sure that even putting together an hour at a time at this juncture is a breakthrough. so my heart is with you girl. would be sad for you and for me if this thing killed us so young and stole away our dreams. so for me yep one good moment sober beats out that nite or day of oblivion and i have to stay with that. i so appreciate the mods moments but i do honestly feel that af is my only real solution. and that is my goal, one moment at a time. so, team spirit. praying helps.i'm on my knees alot these days. why i should get shin pads or something. seem to have worn out my carpet. love you rachel girl

[rachel28]

MORRISON!!!!

it dont seem quite so daunting today any way, but im still full up wiv beer, 2morr i ll know what im dealing wiv,

[tea]

MORRISON!!!!

Good to hear from you Morr, funny how we worry about each other huh?

Lorna

[tea]

MORRISON!!!!

Lol Morrr, just read your response to Luv, if you DO make it to England let me know........... only another 400/500 hundred miles to the Glorious Highlands. You are WELCOME.

Lorna

[toughintexas]

MORRISON!!!!

Morrison, awesome words! The Morrison that always gave me hope when I started, and you are right, guilt and depression are twins..and waking up fresh, and not worrying, is such a positive experience and give HOPE, and boost that SELF-ESTEEM, which we all so lack when abusing....Glad you are back with us, you are great....you and Bear are my new male idols!!!

[morrison]

MORRISON!!!!

Hello Lorna. How have you been? I gotta lot of catching up to do with my extended family here. Thanks for the invite to Scotland. I think I'd like it there, but my Celtic roots may land me in some trouble.

Tough, are you stalking me now? j/k. I like your post, and I'll take all the compliments I can get. :woot:

[Determinator]

MORRISON!!!!

Welcome back Bro!

[bootcampbarbie]

MORRISON!!!!

mayor morrison. i was really hoping for a thought for the day or a euphism or something. you know a morisonism for the day. something fun for day 5. i miscounted though tis actually my day 6. but you know what i mean.

[hereatlast]

MORRISON!!!!

morrison thankyou for all you have done for me xxx