Things we don't have to deal with anymore

[mario]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

The arguments...The arguments with close friend's family member's & partner over the miniscule of things & the complete shame guilt & embarrassment of having to face them.. So I would go through my big book of excuses & blame them.

[Lost Soul]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

Hi NS, great idea for a thread -
I think any recent dreadfulness is mild in comparison to the 'old dreadfulness' but think all the feelings of self blame & terrible anxiety of being out of control were almost as bad if not worse during my relapse. Because I remember exactly how bad things were & just how bad it could get x

[mario]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

I remember one time I started drinking in Portugal and woke up next morning in the back of a van in Spain, still don't know how I got there or who I was with...

[IamMary]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

Great thread.
In latter years, I did all my drinking at home, where it was safe. Lots of trips, slips and arguments with MrM. But mostly I don't miss the deceit - from burying the wine in the bottom of the shopping trolley to hiding the bottles when I got home. The lies about how much I had drunk and the lies about how I was perfectly fine I was the next day. Hiding the bottles on the way to the bottle bank. Hiding the dark circles under my eyes with make up. Lies about tummy bugs, lies about food poisoning.
Yea.. definitely don't miss that :happy2:.

[NoSugar]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

Wow, Mario, I must admit I never dealt with anything that challenging! I'm glad you're ok :hug:.

Like you, Mary, it was living a lie that I finally couldn't take anymore. I am so glad to no longer be trapped in my own web of lies - trying desperately to keep them straight and "reasonable" so I wouldn't get caught.

[Pavati]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

Hi!

I am so grateful that I don't have to deal with trying to remember everything I said and did while drinking. I used to have to start conversations with my husband and kids, "Did I tell you X already?" I had to be careful to do it delicately in case I had just told them last night!

Also, I like to go to movies again. Although theaters are now serving booze, I never wanted to go to movies on a night out because that was two hours I couldn't drink. So sad. Movies are great!

Finally, that 3:30am wake up with the GSR brothers - guilt, shame and regret. I am so grateful to NEVER have to go through that again.

Thanks, NS. Good reminders.

[YouKayBee]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

The worry, the fear of what I've done or said, having to find places to take my recycling when the glass and can boxes were full. Not being able to plan anything, including work, having to clean up after each bender.

[satz123]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

I do not miss the horrible anxiety on holiday when I'd have a drink at lunch time and all afternoon spent waiting 'till I could reasonably have more.
Sunbathing on the balcony of the apartment in Greece, once I had a drink - I had to keep going because that gnawing feeling was there - so in & out topping up pretending it was water. Couldn't relax or read. What a waste. Did not enjoy those holidays.

We've gone to the same place every June for the past 13 years and I can safely say only in the last 2 years have I REALLY enjoyed it.
I have found a peaceful easy feelin' at last......

[ssd858]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

Receiving comments at the grocery store: " I want to come to your house - you must be having a party!"
Not usually a party - just our weekly supply

[Nursie]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

Great thread! We haven't done this in awhile!

Things I don't have to deal with:
Hangovers
3am panic
Empties
Worrying about supply
Worrying about how I will get enough to drink at a function/party
Regret
Shame
Blackouts
Bruises/cuts
Not knowing where my car is
Fear
"Outside issues" associated with drinking
Self loathing
Spending money on alcohol
Being a joke

All done with all of it!

[treetops]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

Why did we have a 3am panic? Was it because the booze had worn off? Was it because AL never leads to a restful sleep? Regrets? In my case it was waking up with dreadful pains in my side and I knew the AL was killing me. Then I couldn't sleep and I thought and worried and got myself all anxious and then felt even more dreadful when the sun came up.

[lifechange]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

Tree, I still wake up around 3 every night to pee! ha.. not so funny, but each time I say out loud, "thank God I didn't drink!"..

Letting myself down each and every day, over and over again. Making the promise I wouldn't drink in the morning and then doing it anyway, automatically, not caring about the consequences. The FEAR of absolutely no control, of insanity, of losing everything.

[mario]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

When I was drinking ,I used to be ashamed of my past, remorse is a terrible punishment, ashamed of the things i said & done, afraid to face people & what they might say to us, I remember one particular incident in which my brother & friends visited me in Portugal, Of course I was a 24 drinker & they on holidays was like me winning the lotto as they would spend freely, in bars of course, After two days my brother pulled me aside & told me he was ashamed of my carry on & would I not give it a break, He nor me at the time new what I was suffering from, just didn't understand it, I get all defensive & steam of etc etc

We laugh about it now & he is proud of me now which in itself makes me proud.

[ssd858]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

Mario - I am so happy that you survived that trip to Spain and proud of the person you have become. Hugs!

[westiesrock]

Re: Things we don't have to deal with anymore

That is so me at the moment. Don't want this anymore.