One Step at a Time - April 2017

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Glassie, I have missed you! That was warm and fuzzy, but thank you!

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Hi Glassy! Hi Liz! Mondayitis just set in,hope everyone has a wonderful AF Day!

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Glassie!!!!!! :hug: :hug: :hug: I love the warm & fuzzies.

Happy Mystic Monday everyone!!!

[actiongirl46]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Hi all! Checking in . . . Mondayitis here too although it is a beautiful day.

Easter was good. I played in our worship band for two services and then we took a family "forced march" (e.g. hike : ) on a beautiful trail. I'm getting better at advocating for what I want to do. There wasn't any complaining this time so perhaps they are getting better at just doing it!!

I hope we all have a good day - AG

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

How is everyone doing? Not much going on here. Loving this weather. Not too hot yet.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

AG - I laughed at the no complaining this time. Way to go.

Off to lay down, I've got a catch in my back. Big hugs to everyone.

[actiongirl46]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Hey Steppers - well, I've fallen back down the rabbit hole. I got into the wine last night that we had purchased for guests that had to cancel for dinner. Finished the last of it tonight. I'm angry at myself. Just trying to raise my hand and have you guys lift me up.

This addiction stinks. I know what to do, I know my triggers, I just don't do what I need to do all the time. Sigh.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

AG :heartbeat:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Morning, y'all and Happy Tuesday! I caught up over the last couple of days, but not before that. Congrats, @techie! Such an inspiration. And thanks for sticking around!
@Rusty, I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to turn an entire corner of our large-ish yard into a garden space. I definitely wasn't thinking about how much I *love* to weed, prune, mulch, water, etc. I walk into a garden store and I swear it's like a compulsion to buy pretty things. It's a good thing I don't feel that way about jewelry! Or perhaps that would be better... If I spent half of what I've spent on plants and shoes over the years on jewelry instead, I'd be VERY sparkly. Make no mistake, though. I'm very much looking forward to selling this suburban house and buying a place in the city with a yard just big enough for Pete the Pup to pee and lounge in the sun. Two years. That's my goal. Renting would be even better. I swear, I feel like I was hoodwinked about how expensive and challenging owning is. Anyway...
[MENTION=21990]actiongirl46[/MENTION] you're right. I've been very isolated for the last couple of years. Debilitating depression and then active alcoholism. It's nice to get out, it's nice to have friends and make new ones, but it's also a bit overwhelming, tbh. I'm still finding it hard to find the joy in things, too. I'm not sure what's going on with that... Depression? Maybe. We saw The Wiz on Saturday night, and I was just... disconnected from enjoying the show and the company. Weird. I definitely wanted a glass of wine(+) at dinner, if for no other reason than to lube myself up and relax a bit. It wasn't hard to resist because I didn't have a choice. But don't think I wasn't secretly (I hope) eyeing my friends' glasses and coveting their ability to drink just one... *sigh* Sorry about your slip. Glad you're here. I have to be completely honest in that I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a whole lot of external pressure to stay abstinent, I would have gotten drunk already. Despite the baclofen, the fact that life is SO MUCH better, all of the good things that are happening, and that I know for fact that none of that would be reality if I started drinking again. I am pretty darn sure I'd get drunk if I could. Maybe. Who knows? There's an old guy at the meeting I go to who makes my heart happy, and even if the other external pressures weren't there (and omg, they're there) it would be really painful to disappoint him. Which would make me feel shame and guilt and remorse and resentment and then, guess what? The cycle continues... Anyway, hang in there. Don't quit. We're here. (well, some of us more than others. Thanks for you devoted long-term peeps who help us all! SO MANY THANKS!)
@Nora, you're one of 'em. Love your words and thoughts so much. I hate doing the phone thing, too. It's excruciating. And I was doing a lot of it. Finally burned out and turned the ringer off. Not what I'm 'supposed' to be doing, but honestly, I needed more space. Funny about your mom and the pill. Still amazed at how good you are at managing her care.

:hug: :heartbeat: and thanks to all.

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Evening all.

AG :hug: all I can say is, I understand. Just pick yourself up and continue on. You're doing so good! Just one day at a time. Did you even enjoy it?

Ne, good to hear from you. I am sorry you don't find the joy in things. I get that sometimes too. Sometimes faking it till I make it helps.

Nora, how's things by you? Is mom feeling better? I'm sorry about your back, how did you manage that?

Off to bed as I have an early day at work tomorrow. Ann took next week off. Wishing us all a fabulous AF night, sweet dreams!

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

AG ' how thou doing today?

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

AG - I've been thinking about you all day. How are you? How was it with hubby? I wish that I had the magic answer. Are you still actively working your tools every day? Are you logging on numerous times a day - reading & posting? Are you still journaling?
I guess I mean - are you still taking care of YOU?
We're here if you want to talk about it. If you don't want to talk about it, then I will back off. :hug:

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Has anyone heard from SK? I wonder how she is doing. I feel like I'm out of the loop on everyone.

Ne - I hope that things start getting better. Depression is hard and so unpredictable. Thanks for getting it about the phone. I walk a very fine line trying not to isolate myself. I have not been in contact with my good friends except quick little calls or texts. So, I am going to have to nip that in the bud right away.

I occasionally have thoughts or wishful thinking. Not very often at all. But, every time that a drink looks good, I replay the worst memories. And I have so many of them. But, it reminds me of the reality instead of the delusion that I can drink.
I have saved a post of Byrdie's (Things we don't have to deal with anymore) that I love - she has a line in there almost as heavy as my soul and that just hits homes with me. Oh how heavy was my soul.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Liz - hope you sleep well.