One Step at a Time - April 2017

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Liz:hug:I echo what Glassie said and I couldn't have said it better. Was your husband or anyone else in your family mad?

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

:hug::hug::hug:I agree. Don't let this drag you down.

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

So have I mentioned I love you guys. Yes, hubby was beyond mad. We talked about it this morning. The last time I drank was like November. Licking my wounds and moving on. . .

[dill]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

[MENTION=19302]Lizann[/MENTION], :hug: Shake it off, learn and move on!

[Wildflowers]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

[MENTION=19302]Lizann[/MENTION] You can do this sweet Liz :hug: Some days are harder then others. Have faith in you!.... :thumbsup: @AG you too lovely lady..

[MENTION=5628]Nora[/MENTION], Just about cried when I read your post on Mom and your kids. Any luck with DIL's Dad co-signing? Prayers continue........

Anyone hear from SK or Techie?

Waves to everyone on this one sunny day were having. :heartbeat:

[abcowboy]

I’m trying not to post too much in the Steppers thread, my tough love approach isn’t well received here, but I do want to say something to Liz. I think you’ve proved to yourself Liz that it matters not what hubs and/or Mark think, or how they react, it doesn’t stop you from drinking. I was the same way, drinking, asking for forgiveness, and then secretly hoping and knowing they would get over it. Then try to hide my drinking better, or get in a good string of sober days so that they’ll forgive me yet again when I drink. I was lucky, I didn’t get the ultimatum from Bubba, but I’m sure I eventually would have if I didn’t quit for good.

So, the next question is, why did you drink last night and what can you do the next time to get through without drinking? The answers you need are inside you, just dig deep enough and you’ll find them! Good for you to come straight back and start over, the only failure there is, is when you quit trying! You can do this, I know you can!

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

I’m trying not to post too much in the Steppers thread, my tough love approach isn’t well received here, but I do want to say something to Liz. I think you’ve proved to yourself Liz that it matters not what hubs and/or Mark think, or how they react, it doesn’t stop you from drinking. I was the same way, drinking, asking for forgiveness, and then secretly hoping and knowing they would get over it. Then try to hide my drinking better, or get in a good string of sober days so that they’ll forgive me yet again when I drink. I was lucky, I didn’t get the ultimatum from Bubba, but I’m sure I eventually would have if I didn’t quit for good.

So, the next question is, why did you drink last night and what can you do the next time to get through without drinking? The answers you need are inside you, just dig deep enough and you’ll find them! Good for you to come straight back and start over, the only failure there is, is when you quit trying! You can do this, I know you can!

Yes,nobody ever asked for your tough love approach, its called one step at a time for a good reason.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Liz - I've been thinking about you all day. Trying to think of words to help you. I wish that I could put my feelings into words......

I was concerned about you going to the party. I wish that I had spoken up.
The reason being is that I thought it was really unkind of your hubby to tell you the other day not to drink. You have proved over & over that you are not drinking. When my hubby did that to me, I would work myself up into a screw it attitude and I would drink. I don't know if that added to all of the other stress that you are under but telling me not to drink was a huge trigger for me.

I know that you are unhappy right now. But, I do hope that you recognize what an improvement in yourself. You are a wonderful person and much loved. You are going to get thru this - sometimes there's just a little stumble on our path but we just keep moving forward.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Hi @dill - great to see you

Glassie - I sold tons of my vinyls a year or so ago. But, we still have over 500. We used to have almost 2000!!! We have a turntable set up in the living room again now so fun times.

@Wildflowers - how are you doing? I haven't heard from SK or Techie. :sad: No luck on an apartment yet but they did tell me that her dad will co-sign. Oh and wanted to tell you that we are getting close to starting up etsy. We haven't sold since we used to do it on eBay in 2004.

Pauly - did you hear the latest on the diet drinks? Guess I'm going to have to really stop. You have stopped haven't you?

Rusty - I'm anxious for you to finish this class so that you can get back to posting. I miss you!

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Nora,I've stopped for awhile but I still have a diet coke here and there,surprisingly after a few sips I don't want it anymore, on the vinyl I forgot to mention that for Christmas i bought Kell one of those retro looking 5 in one systems that she can play cassettes, c.D's,plug in her phone+play records! She was super excited and went and bought a bunch of records cuz she only had Boston and Danzig out of some old records we found awhile back so I guess it is making a comeback with the younger crowd

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

[MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION] - I hope that your words help Liz. But, I'm not sure how to react to your post "my tough love approach isn’t well received here" remark. You have helped many people on this forum. And the Steppers thread has helped many people also. It helped me get to where I am today.

I know that I was able to beat myself up, tear myself down, hate myself, I didn't need tough love here. I needed to be able to open my soul to the only people that understand and to know that I wasn't being judged.
I am sure that your approach is helpful to some people. But, there are other people that need to find a different way out.

I know that you only wanted to help Liz. I am not speaking for her, I was just telling you my thoughts on the tough love.

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Nora:heartbeat: Excellent post!! Your kindness and empathy knows no boundaries. No one would tell me not to drink, but I figured they would be watching to see if I did or if I showed up drunk.

Cowboy-that tough love approach is totally ineffective for some people. Let me give you an example. My aunt and I are very much alike and she's always been an extremely anxious person, just like I am. She also suffered from very, very low self-esteem. Her husband and daughter decided that tough love was the way to go to get her to stop drinking, so when my cousin had her first baby, she refused to let my aunt hold her newborn son...for fear that she would drop him. My aunt was so crushed! Just the shear shame she felt plunged her into darkness. Her other daughter is a kind, unconditional love type of person, and spent many days trying to find a rehab that was inviting and supportive, and she succeeded. This daughter never "punished" my aunt by denying her access to her 3 children and always made her feel welcome in her home, whether my aunt had been drinking or not. This cousin offered to help my aunt in anyway she could, and she got my aunt into rehab and she will be 9 years sober on Monday. My other cousin never bothered to offer my aunt a way out of her drinking...instead she was very critical and harsh, as was my uncle. Another example is on the Abs Thread. Several years ago there was a member who would relapse from time and time and a few people on that thread were just brutal to her with their tough love. She stopped posting because she was so ashamed and she kept drinking. Just my thoughts...

Hey Pauly!

Yawn...well, I studied all day and now I am ready for bed. I hope we all have a peaceful night.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Sleep well Rusty. You're in the home stretch now.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Liz - have a WONDERFUL time at the shower. Let all of this go and just go enjoy being there. :hug:

[Glass Half Empty]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

[COLOR="#000000"]I’m trying not to post too much in the Steppers thread, my tough love approach isn’t well received here,

Cowboy, I'm pretty sure "tough love" doesn't mean what you seem to think it does. Tough love is what you do when you love someone very much but have to be a little bit hard for their benefit. Bossing strangers around on the internet and telling them what they have to do to comply with your self-defined standards isn’t "tough love" – it’s just being rude. I assume you don't intend to sound supercilious, but please stop referring to your sermons as "tough love" when you don't even know the person you're talking to. And here's a fun fact - you don't actually know everything about everyone!

*rant over*


Anyway, in happier news - OMG Nora you still have 500 records! Do you have the Sanford and Townsend one?

I only have about 30, but they do bring back very happy memories. Quick question for everyone - what was the first record you bought and do you still have it? Mine was David Bowie (Reflections) when I was 12.

Oh and how many do you have and what are your favourites? Apparently I'm supposed to be embarrassed about Phil Collins but I'm not!!!