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One Step at a Time - April 2017

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    Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

    Good morning all! The shower was a success, I think! Went off without a hitch. Erin was a little overwhelmed with the gifts. There were so many of them. I worked the room and chatted with everyone. Erin's MIL brought wine not much. My sister asked me about the dinner and I told her I had drank, and she said. Well that just ruined my day, now I'm upset. Yup exactly what I needed to hear at the beginning of the shower. I wanted to head over and have some wine. Yes that's a trigger for me. My therapist says, I need to deal with me. They need to work on their own reactions. But I wanted to cry. I promptly pushed the anger away and continued on. I know she was watching me the entire time.

    I appreciate so much everyone's kind wise words! You guys get it and thanks for being here for me. Your words mean more than you know.
    Off to church in a bit. Wishing you all a great day

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      Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

      I'll see if I can post a pic. I dropped my phone in the toilet, of all things and now it's not working!image.jpg

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        Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

        image.jpg. image.jpg

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          Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

          image.jpg

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            Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

            Morning all,Liz,Erin looks absolutely glowing looks like she's one of the lucky ones who only show in the belly,I just got fat allover haha,I can't believe your sister said that,I know she loves you and only wants you to be healthy but as your therapist said you are you,she's her,I posted yesterday that I think you're doing a brilliant job Liz and I'm proud of you what kind of games did you play? Any super cute outfits? Details after church please,Techie,great to see you,how are you doing? Mr.V,I liked John Travolta before bit now he's a weirdo,that hair! Seems like a lot of celebs get weird the longer they're famous, MJ,Prince,Madonna,Marian Carey just to name a few,I would not want to be famous but I'll take the money Rusty,have a safe trip Glassy,I got your e-mail I'll search in a bit,waves to all off for French toast in a bit have a great AF Sunday
            I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

            I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
            Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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              Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

              First album? Shawn Cassidy, of course! I was 10. I just tried to watch a YouTube and couldn't get 10 seconds into it. ugh. But the satin bell bottoms are sweet! I'd wear 'em today in a heartbeat. Seriously. I thought he was the epitome of dreeeaaammmy. (Not sure what I would've called it back then. Hunky? What was cool to say in 1979?)

              Nora, Abbie's absolutely adorable. What a sweet face! I'm always a little envious of people with little, affectionate pups. Mine isn't particularly little or affectionate and she's still too puppy-ish at 3 years old. Granted, I was sick for the last two years, and didn't train her very well. But she knocked the butter dish off the counter last night and ate an entire stick of butter! BAD DOG. My husband caught her and laughed. BAD HUSBAND. He's driving me crazy still, anyway. Judgment, resentment, anger, blah, blah, blah. Not my problem. As Liz's therapist told her, so has mine told me. Thing is, I believe it and take it to heart. His emotions, his issues. *sigh* @Lizann, :hug: I realized a long time ago that, for me, negativity is internalized and just contributes to the cycle that leads to the bottom of a bottle. Plus, it's literally the definition of addiction/alcoholism that people slip. And there's a big difference, as noted in a post somewhere around here between a slip and a relapse. I told one guy, a friend I have from rehab, who called me crying when he slipped, that at least he got it over with. The stuff coming out of his mouth the night it happened made me want to drink for him, for goodness' sake. He got up the next day and got on with life. Yay! Glad you have. And omg, Erin looks gorgeous. That's her sister? Looks like a twin, so must be. Very cool that her hubs was there. Did they not find out the gender of the baby? Drives me crazy when people do that. Don't know why since I don't have kids and shouldn't care.

              What Nora said, about being able to share openly without being judged, was a really REALLY important part of MWO for me that I couldn't find anywhere else in the world. And one of the reasons I felt most comfortable in the meds sections, honestly. Whether it was true or not, it seemed like it was more... tolerant... there for a long time. Not trying to create a 'thing' about this. Just glad it's "my" way out. Not just glad! EXTREMELY grateful. Oh, and my therapist likes to point out that I'm extremely insightful and with more than 20 years of going to therapy (my mom's a shrink, so it was basically expected...) I've had a lot of time to reflect and get deep and all that jazz. Just because I can see it doesn't mean I can change it. You know? Maybe that doesn't make sense to most people. But it's true-ish for me. Also, I've cleared up most of the baggage from past drama/trauma. That didn't cause my alcoholism and it didn't solve it. That's just my experience, of course.

              Egad. This is too long! So quickie responses:

              Mr. V, I've got some weight to lose too. Never had a problem with it until about 3 years ago and ugh. It's dreadful. Unfortunately, it hasn't started to drop off with sober time. Hang in there and stay close, if that helps.

              Love Grease and disco and still love John Travolta even tho he's nuts. Whatever. The guy can act. And dance! Donna Summer is still some of my go-to feel-good music. And the BeeGees. (Don't judge. )

              Rusty, hurry up and get done already!

              Techie, hope you're doing well. Nice to *see* you as always.

              Hiya Kuya! Glassie and IDM and Pauly and everyone else, too. Hope it's a good drama-free day.


              Last edited by Ne/Neva Eva; April 23, 2017, 11:09 AM.

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                Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

                OMG, seriously just lost my post, grrrr!
                Ne, thanks for you kind words. It does help for me to think of this as a slip and not a relapse. I will not relapse. It's just so hard to get over the selfloathing. You guys have really lifted me up and right now, that's helping! Thank you.

                Ok Pauly, you asked for it. Went to Erin's this afternoon to look at all she got. The baby's room is full!!! She got a stroller, crib,rocker,car seat, portable playpen. I got the baby a Tom Brady Jersey and her MIL got the baby Jets tee shirt and bib. She got this adorable warm long onesie that was furry and the hood had ears, so baby will look like a lamb! My personal favorite was the Kate Spade diaper bag from the lady she used to babysit for!!! Anyway it was a lovely afternoon. Thanks for getting my focus off myself.
                You guys really are the best!

                Ne, my girls are not twins. Erin is three years older than.CJ
                Last edited by Lizann; April 23, 2017, 03:44 PM.

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                  Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

                  Happy Serene Sunday everyone.

                  I slept in until 8:00 and then hubby and I did errands for a few hours. Was able to sit out in the sun this afternoon which really helps me relax. I can only be in the sun for about 20 minutes and then back to the shade. Abused my skin for years by getting sunburned. I finally have learned that I am not going to tan. Ha, ha

                  Liz - What a fun party. How wonderful that she received so many gifts. Beautiful pictures. Thanks for sharing. Can't believe you dropped your phone in the toilet.

                  Ne - our dogs certainly aren't trained but they are loving.

                  Pauly - I know what you mean about people becoming different after they're famous. I would imagine having people constantly prying into your life plus the fact that you can do whatever you want really adds to it all.
                  What did you do today?

                  Mr V - I laughed at your John Revolta line. LOL I did think he was cute but he wasn't one that I swooned over. (And I wasn't into the disco either. I've never seen Staying Alive or whatever that movie is. Eeekkkk

                  Rusty - I didn't know you were traveling. Safe trip and sending you good thoughts with your studies & test.

                  Glassie - I won't tell anyone that you slouched off and watched TV. LOL Wasn't a trip to look at those songs and flash back on them. I think I'm the oldest of the gang here so you might have to go to a different year. But, it is fun.
                  "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                  ..........
                  AF - 7-27-15

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                    Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

                    Liz - I agree with you therapist that you need to worry about you. I am sorry that it happened with your sister too. I honestly don't think that people can understand what a trigger that is. It is hard enough when you are dealing with that voice in your head and then you have that other pressure thrown on top of it. I'm sorry it happened.
                    As AG says Onward.

                    AG - I'm talking about you. Where are you @actiongirl46 :hug:
                    Last edited by NoraC; April 23, 2017, 07:50 PM.
                    "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                    ..........
                    AF - 7-27-15

                    Comment


                      Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

                      A lovely sunny morning here, and with no work today, gonna start on the exercise routine as well today. It always helps.
                      Later all,
                      Mr V

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                        Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

                        Morning all,Mr.V I think exercise really helps to keep the focus on doing healthy things for ourselves, if you exercise regularly it kind of defeats all that hard work of exercise to even think of drinking Liz,sounds like she got some cool gifts! So they're gonna wait until the baby is born to fnd out what we're having? Seems like nobody does that these days,took Louie to the park yesterday but it was so dang windy! I was sneezing, Brady was sneezing, ugh,it was fun though, the peacocks were all doing their mating spread and it looked super cool! Came home and watched a good movie on Lifetime about a lady helping two guys escape from prison after they seduced her,it was done well for Lifetime, sometimes their movies look low budget.Nora,I always thought you liked disco, I guess I was thinking of Rusty haha,Glassy I need to p.m you in a bit, ugh can I skip work and hide in the blankie fort today? Found out Michelle and her creepster are coming back in 2 weeks,excited to see her but here we go...its giving me anxiety just thinking about it but I need to get a grip! Much love and I hope we all have an excellent AF Monday
                        I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                        I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                        Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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                          Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

                          AG,where are you love? Please give us a wave
                          I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                          I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                          Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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                            Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

                            Morning all.
                            Have a wonderful Monday. (I'd rather be in the Blankie Fort too)
                            "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                            ..........
                            AF - 7-27-15

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                              Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

                              Here!! Happy unhungover Monday, my favorite kind!

                              I had a busy weekend. My best friend was here and she is chaaaaaatty!!

                              Looks like a fun shower Liz!! Your girls are gorgeous. More later, I need to catch up.

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                                Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

                                Managed to keep myself out of trouble today! I love that it was just the normal routine. I did get my new phone and proud to say I managed to get it up and running for the most part without help from my son! Go Me! So I did lose all of my contacts. Initially was was upset to be without my phone, honestly, it ended up being a lovely quiet two days off the grid. So back to work for me tomorrow. Please send prayers and thoughts my way as this is the first I will see those from the party the other night. I will be working 11 to 12 hour days for the rest of the week. I am certain I can do it, but I'm not as young as when I first took this job. My supervisor said they willbe hiring someone per diem to help out. Um yeah ok!. So anyway off to unwind before a busy work week

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