Paulysville

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Paulysville

Hi Pauly,
Man, you've had a pile of shit to wade through this year, and you made it. I did some quick math, You've been successful 87% of the time with your sobriety! Man if we all could be 87% successful in everything we do, we'd own the world! Keep on keeping on.

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

Thanks Mr.V,you're doing excellent adding up those days,keep it up friend!

[Guitarista]

Re: Paulysville

Yo Pauly!

Big wave from over here. :hiya:

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

How to even update this,I'm sad its a beautiful Sunday morning and I am feeling like shit,I can't do this anymore,I just can't,nothing got better from drinkng,its a sad,lonley,miserable place to be,,totally NOT me! If I could turn it back I'd have chosen some other way you cope,goddammit I'm a wreck..wtf is going on with me,cannot put my finger on it

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

I keep thinking that I'm holding it together,I'm not,I drink to cope with day to say life,yesterday was a disaster,why am I even posting this? Just to get it off my chest I guess

[SKendall]

Re: Paulysville

Pauly, I know you can do this.

[RunningCourage]

Re: Paulysville

Pauly, as SK says you CAN do this. You've done it before - and I appreciate Mr V's post last month, that even if there are dips/lapses/effin shit times, the work you have done in staying sober most of the time has proved you have such strength, resilience and resolve. I understand life has been dealing you hard blows. It certainly does;t make it any easier. But do know that this community is here for you. Please do reach out. Thinking of ya.

[lifechange]

Re: Paulysville

Big hugs to you, dear Pauly. Get yourself through this day, however you can without drinking.. I know it seems impossible, but try your hardest not to put yourself down. The positive side of this is that you don't ever have to feel like this again..this can be the very last time! There is still something missing from your plan to find your way out for good.. but it's possible for you to figure out what that is. Really. Don't you dare give up trying.. you will succeed..:hug:

[Pavati]

Re: Paulysville

Pauly!

You have a lot of people here who KNOW you can do this. Don't give up on yourself. Be sober for today, this hour, this minute, one minute at a time. You deserve it. Think of the total sober time vs. not - you're already on your way out!

xo

[Guitarista]

Re: Paulysville

If I could turn it back I'd have chosen some other way you cope,goddammit I'm a wreck..wtf is going on with me,cannot put my finger on it

Hi Pauly. Looks like something's sure going on that's keeping you unhappy. 'Some other way to cope'. Is it one thing mainly, or a few things all rolled in together. I know there's been some horrible things happen last year, and boozing sure is our routine coping and 'quick fix' mechanism. I wonder how you can make peace with what's upsetting you. Is there a way you can work on the most upsetting thing firstly, and other upsetting stuff as you go? Sort of like breaking things down into smaller chunks and tackling things in order of priority? (e.g. environment, thoughts, work, people). Dunno if you are seeing a professional to talk to about stuff, but that might be worth a look (or change who you're seeing if they are not useful). Just some thoughts.

Sticking my fat beak in coz i care about you. Chin up, just get through today and most importantly, whether boozing or not - take it easy on yourself. Be gentle with you. Keep us posted.

[available]

Re: Paulysville

Pauly sending you hugs from afar. I think we alkies are too easy to walk over and try to do everything to make and keep the peace then we drink to give ourselves some peace for a short time. You are the 100% main priority here, you cant function fully unless you are fully ok. Try and learn to say no to others, no one will die from waiting for what they ask. you need to put yourself first and your priority is to stop drinking. believe us when we say life does get 190% better when we stop drinking. You have had a very tough year and your tired and worn out emotionally and physically. Dont be too hard on yourself but remember there is never a good time to stop drinking but you need to try. in all the years i have known you on here you have never ever been a quitter, you are much loved and admired and respected to all of us Pauly but as you know we cant stop drinking for you, it has to come from within but we all are here to support you in whatever way we can. xx

[satz123]

Re: Paulysville

:hug::hug: here too Pauly.
Cliche alert :
You are a strong woman - you can get back on track. My son has done it with support from me via MWO support.
You have a whole community of family here who support you & never judge.
Look forward not back ..... never look back.

[stirly-girly]

Re: Paulysville

How to even update this,I'm sad its a beautiful Sunday morning and I am feeling like shit,I can't do this anymore,I just can't,nothing got better from drinkng,its a sad,lonley,miserable place to be,,totally NOT me! If I could turn it back I'd have chosen some other way you cope,goddammit I'm a wreck..wtf is going on with me,cannot put my finger on it

Hi Pauly!! Hope you're feeling better today. I just wanted to add my two cents worth to the great advice and support that the others have given. I think one of the main things that kept me drinking was that I drank AT situations and people. Sort of how you get mad at something or someone - I would drink to get that out of my system. It never worked of course - the person or situation never, ever changed because I got drunk again - everything was just the same and I was again disappointed in myself. Another thing that I think trips up us alkies is the F-IT thinking. F-IT - I'll drink today and get back on the wagon tomorrow or F-IT - I messed up at work, with my husband, with my kids, whatever - I might as well have a few drinks since I've already messed up elsewhere. Again, nothing changed - the situation with hubby, work, the kids, was still the same. I know you have gone through a very difficult year - even tho' I don't post much, I do read back over the threads from time to time and you certainly have had your share of heartbreak and problems. But you know as well as all of us, even if we have a few drinks to make us "feel better", it rarely does and if it does, it is just a temporary fix. As the others have said - you are a strong woman. You have had a lot of sober time over the past year, even when dealing with all the sh*t thrown your way. I think what you have to figure out is a plan for how you're going to cope with the next time. It has been said here many times that we need a plan - I think we do. Not so much as a plan, maybe, but a way of taking ourselves out of the situations for the time being until things calm down a bit or if we can take ourselves mentally to a more positive place. I know it isn't easy but if the alternative is having a few drinks and feeling like sh*t and disappointed in ourselves yet another time, then I think it's worth it to have a plan in mind. Go to the movies, call a friend, knit something, cook your favourite food, whatever - even if you really don't feel like doing it - do it anyway. You have the strength to get over the next hurdle and to face up to the problems, but you need to find a way to turn to something other than AL, to turn off that automatic thinking we alkies have. I truly admire how you don't give up and keep coming back even when you think you've failed. You haven't failed tho'. Just the fact that you are still here is a positive thing in itself. Wishing you the best of luck.

Stirly x

[Jude58]

Re: Paulysville

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION], not sure that I can add much to the sage advice already given. My husband still drinks moderately and there is always beer or wine in the house. Yesterday, I looked at the bottle of wine in the frig and had an awww f#$#k it moment. I took a few sips and no lightening struck me, and the world didn't end. It was just me and a bottle of wine. I had two choices, keep drinking, (which for me would have been an all afternoon adventure. Just like the old times) or I could put the bottle back into the frig, which I did. I had to think about it really hard though. I think that the key for me anyway, is to realize that yes, I had screwed up. Taking a couple of sips may sound innocent enough to many, but not for people like us. Every binge starts with that first taste, and that's the time to nip it in the bud, right then and there. I know that there is a forum somewhere around here with posts by people who have relapsed. Even if you have already read them, it wouldn't hurt to go back and do so again. Right now you may feel isolated and hopeless, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and if you follow it, you will find all of the good folks on this site waiting for you. You are not alone...please keep reaching out to us. We are all here for each other, and that's truly something to be grateful for. You can do this!:hug:

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

So bloody ashamed at myself yet again,I'll be back when I'm sober again..