Paulysville

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

Need to post here when I get some free time, bumping so I don't hafta dig it out again

[NoraC]

Re: Paulysville

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] - what's up? :heartbeat:

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] - what's up? :heartbeat:

Nothing,just haven't written here in a bit

[Pavati]

Re: Paulysville

Hi, Pauly! Missing you in the nest. I know you're there, but we don't hear much about what's up with you. Hope all is well!

Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

Creepy thinking out of nowhere,won't drink but in a way wish I could,why? Feel a little melancholy I guess wish I could get that happiness that a few drinks give without taking the few drinks cuz I know I don't stop there,just got over a stomach bug last week that felt like withdrawal and I was happy that I didn't bring that feeling upon myself but maybe having that feeling brought up old memories that I can't shake? I dunno just venting and wishing I felt happier today.

[Rusty]

Re: Paulysville

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION]...Hey Pauly!:hug: I think you are right in that the stomach bug feeling like withdrawal probably drummed up old memories, Stomach bugs with vomiting ARE the pits and you have nothing you can blame it on that is/was fun. So maybe you're thinking that when you drank...it was fun for a few beers until it became A LOT. Maybe you thought the puking and being hungover was somehow "worth" it because you got to relax with some beer until you overdid it and got sick. I think The "forgetting" part is what causes people to go back to drinking time after time...even after they swear they will never overdo it again and the same thing happens...they get sick and are hungover, or both. I also wanted to add that whenever I got stomach flu, it took me days to get over and while I was so relieved when I finally felt better again, I was terrified that I would catch another bug and I would try and think of who I got that bug from and I would actually feel very down, just like you're feeling. Maybe you could immerse yourself in a funny movie you've seen a million times or take a trip to the Dollar Tree. :-) Hope the feeling passes, hon. Email me if it doesn't or message me on FB.

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

Aww thank you Rusty I knew I wouldn't drink but I guess I was thinking I was missing the euphoria but the reality is it usually never hits or it's very short lived,think when I posted I was hungry too cuz after I ate all thoughts dissipated too haha, thanks for always being there for me!

[available]

Re: Paulysville

Great work Pauly on not drinking. There is no euphoria with drinking, think of the positives of not drinking and how much easier life is most days and how nice it is to wake up sober and alive. Remember the GSR's and having to post back on here. So proud of you, you are doing so well.

[Pavati]

Re: Paulysville

Just saw this Pauly. Good on you for not drinking - I'm glad you weren't contemplating it...

Rose colored glasses are dangerous. I have craved that first drink buzz or the simple release from my anxiety for sure. There is nothing like it. I would categorize it as ignorance rather than happiness - alcohol lets me ignore my stress and melancholy. The sober brain in me knows that ACTUALLY ignoring all of that just makes it so I have to deal with it later, and if I were drinking, it would be with a hangover.

Playing it through works for me still. I NEVER want to feel like that again.

I hope you're feeling better now.

xo
Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

Yep Pav playing it through doesn't work for me like it does some,like Byrdie said when she'd think it through she couldn't get past the drunk part of it,so I'm a pusher like her and try to push it out as fast as it comes! I'd hate to drink then wish desperately to be sober again,one drink turns into days long benders that leave me absolutely shattered emotionally and physically,right now I'm just trying to rebuild who I am and not be scared to have fun and love life,it's actually alot harder than it should be for me,I avoid alot just to stay "safe" if that makes any sense,thanks for popping in Pav

[lifechange]

Re: Paulysville

Hi Pauly! I, too, just saw this. I'm so proud of you for seeing what was really going on and for coming here to vent.. very well done. Building more sober muscles. I also keep the thought in mind, of how terrible it would be the next morning, wishing so desperately that I could take it back. With me, it then always turns into a binge because I can't face myself.
Big hugs and stay close.. :hug:

[available]

Re: Paulysville

The only thing i get to that stops me drinking is coming on here and saying i drank. i vaguely remember how great it was to drink and the feeling of not caring about anything in the world but i did that daily until i lost who i was and the world around me. Now i just dont want to drink, i hate al, i do get that urge but its a stupid though that is put in its place. We do what we do to not drink Pauly and as long as you have your tools in place and reach out for help when you need, you cant go wrong. Giving up smoking for me atm is like my not drinking, i have my support network that i am responsible for, i put my story in the work newsletter (cant get more accountable than that), im seeing a psychologist to deal with stress as i know that is my main reason to relapse and life is good. Its still hard but dolly steps each and every day and one day i wont want a smoke, i will hate it like i hate alcohol. But i miss it like i missed al. But i know i wont ever regret giving up at some stage.

xx

[stirly-girly]

Re: Paulysville

Yep Pav playing it through doesn't work for me like it does some,like Byrdie said when she'd think it through she couldn't get past the drunk part of it,so I'm a pusher like her and try to push it out as fast as it comes! I'd hate to drink then wish desperately to be sober again,one drink turns into days long benders that leave me absolutely shattered emotionally and physically,right now I'm just trying to rebuild who I am and not be scared to have fun and love life,it's actually alot harder than it should be for me,I avoid alot just to stay "safe" if that makes any sense,thanks for popping in Pav

Hey Pauly! First of all - great job on pushing the AL thoughts aside and not giving in. I'm sure you've heard of HALT - things that can trigger drinking thoughts - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. You seem to really have a grip on things this time tho' and it's really good to see that. And it's not bad to avoid things to stay safe - in fact it is recommended that we do that to avoid stressful situations. We do whatever WE need to do to get through and it looks like you are doing just that. Good for you!!!!

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

I miss mwo from back in the day it was hoppin and helpful for me and others,I wonder why it doesn't come up in Google searches? I am sad that the Steppers thread is done but I see some other ongoing threads dimming as well,seems it's all small talk about the weather, jobs,etc which is fine but it seems like more of a quick check in than any real in-depth conversation,we stopped Steppers for that exact reason it was becoming just chatter that didn't really have anything to it,I'm not bitching about mwo by any means,I still feel it has alot of helpful threads and the Newbies nest has still kept it's integrity and focus on recovery,I just wish more people could find this forum,I belong to a few others but it's just not the same,I feel most comfortable here,anyhoo just figured I'd get stuff off my mind and what better place than Paulysville haha

[Guitarista]

Re: Paulysville

Yo Pauly!

Today i'm taking care of the tomorrow me. :happy2: