Paulysville

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

Yeah LS,so sad that he left kids behind I wonder if his demons caught up with him again (addiction) I guess we'll find out after they do toxicology, very sad.Nice,sunny day here,took a walk to the gas station for some sodas for hubs and son,a lady in front of me bought 1 Heineken tall can,,,who does that?!? My being unable to understand that some people can drink like that just reinforces to me that my mind about alcohol is screwed up, no mas!

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

I must be bored haha,anyways my mom got a part-time job at a LaQuinta in our small hometown cleaning rooms,I'm very happy cuz she retired last year at 65 and I told her then she's too damn young to retire! Especially when your hobbies are drinking and gambling, she doesn't garden,travel,read or anything else normal people do,she's a single woman who thinks she's still 19 but I do love her craziness, I knew it was only a matter of time before she got bored and would end up back to work so thats been a positive to my day yay!

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Re: Paulysville

Do OK,still tired for some reason which is starting to piss me off! Was thinking about Kuyas post and it is true I've been here 5 years and have been sober most of the time,I want to be sober all the time though also true that I dont have much support from my family,thats why I decided long ago to quit for myself not them,I just gotta stop letting myself down,its really hard though when I'm having that urge to not have a hubs who tries to talk you out of it,"just take it easy" is only a green light to rush to the gas station and buy my shitty beer! Its like I got permission to be a fool,the Soundgarden singer who committed suicide this week struggled with addiction in the past,I read an interview with him and he said you have to want to not drink/do drugs or you'll keep doing them til you die and that's the absolute truth,can't half-assedly "want" it you hafta want it,WANT it!

Yeah there is no halfway with AL when we reach the point of addiction. Unless we accept it as it is and committ to 100% it is only a matter a time before we pick up that first drink again. Stopping with even the tiniest thought somewhere in the back of our head that maybe some point in the future we could maybe try another drink is doomed to failure, well at least that has been my experience of trying to stop for close on a decade.

[satz123]

Re: Paulysville

I only wish it was socially acceptable to carry a wet fish in my handbag for slapping annoying people!!!

LS

:harhar:

[satz123]

Re: Paulysville

a lady in front of me bought 1 Heineken tall can,,,who does that?!? My being unable to understand that some people can drink like that just reinforces to me that my mind about alcohol is screwed up, no mas!

Agree Pauly. When I see that kind of thing - or leaving half a glass of wine - I KNOW I could never have a 'proper' relationship with alcohol.

[Glass Half Empty]

Re: Paulysville

I only wish it was socially acceptable to carry a wet fish in my handbag for slapping annoying people!!!

Wait... are you saying it isn't? Well that explains why I'm no longer welcome in Target! :rotlf:

[NoraC]

Re: Paulysville

Wait... are you saying it isn't? Well that explains why I'm no longer welcome in Target! :rotlf:

:harhar:

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

Its taken me nearly 3 goddamn weeks to feel "normal"! Not sure if the crushing fatigue was withdrawal related or if I had caught Louie's virus or what,I'm just glad thats over,worried about my liver for the first time in all of this mess,feels tender sometimes and I swear I have Terry's nails,I never noticed before cuz my nails are always painted but they're pale,no moons,also had a backache yesterday so was worried about my kidneys,will wait a few weeks and get my yearly bloods done,doing great in the cutting back smoking, only 4 a day in the past 3 days,I have to not overthink it or I want to smoke I read on a quit smoking website to write down why I want to quit,sheesh I have a lot of reasons,money,the smell,the habit,teeth,I think people who smoke when there's kids around look like trash is my biggest one,one day Louie told me to go outside to smoke so he could swing! That really breaks my heart my crazy brother took off into the mountains,on foot Sunday,two brothers took two days off to go search for his ass,couldn't find him,on one hand I think he's grown,probably wanted time away,etc but on the other hand he took off with no food/water,didnt tell anyone where he was going,high on who knows what so I'm worried, my mom said they're gonna get search and rescue involved, I'm sure he's fine and he's gonna be pissed they got everyone involved! But he shouldn't do dumb shit either.

[abcowboy]

It's funny how it takes longer to recover from most things as we get older Pauly, especially the effects of alcohol! Course you're a spring chicken compared to me lol and it makes me happy to see you younger ones turning your life around and trying not to waste as many years as I did in the bottom of a bottle. The good news is that you'll never have to go through these past 3 weeks again!

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

Thanks Cowboy,the only sad part about that is EVERY addict always says "never again" but we know how reliable that is unfortunately, I have to just do it not just say it!

[abcowboy]

That's true Pauly, but all of us have that real "never again" in us, you just keep reminding yourself that this time is your never again! I think you've got it licked this time!

[Pavati]

Re: Paulysville

Hi, Pauly (and everyone):

Sorry about your brother. Any word?

Hope your fatigue improves soon. B vitamins?

Searching for a wet fish for my handbag...

Pav

[NoraC]

Re: Paulysville

Pauly - hope things are ok with your brother.
You are sounding good and I love this thread.

[paulywogg]

Re: Paulysville

No word,my poor mom is going out of her mind with worry,will post when I hear something

[abcowboy]

Hopefully he'll be found safe and sound and none the worse for wear, thanks for keeping us updated Pauly...