Re: I drank. Hope you don't.
It was more about how woman would no longer smile, acknowledge, or speak to you. Even some who you think are your friends. Cliques are a normal part of society. I just don't like them. Along with a past sponsor who gossiped, about a different woman's 5th step. I called her out on it, in front of a small group of woman. She didn't take kindly to it. Yes, I don't appreciate gossip. I'm more forward in my communication style. Tend to not say much, if I think it will cause harm to others. Tho, I've gossiped to, but I try very hard not to. Also, there are people who chair meetings who call others retreads. People who chair and call out new comers and accuse them of no humility, cause they don't write their name and # on sheet. I nudged a couple of twenty something ladies and told them the real reason is so they can get to know you better and offer a phone# list.
I also had one good sponsor, but she micro-managed me to death. Have been told to get out of my city and head into large metro meetings. Just haven't been willing to take the time. After spending yrs at AA meetings and some Smart meetings, I've opted to do on-line. I think of AA as two parts. One is for fellowship and the other is the steps. Steps are the gist of the program. Supposedly, the ones that change your thinking, reactions and attitude, etc. After spending time at AA, I ended up feeling like I didn't belong. If you don't have a sponsor and do step work, continually. It talks about this in the 12x12. Some of what they teach and preach is against my core values. Feel as if I've been deprogramming my brain.
If I continue on this self destructive path, I'll seek OP. Still have therapy appt booked. But the truth is not everyone achieves 100% sobriety. If and when my head clears. I'm more apt to look back into Smart. My graves disease is active. I'm over the top of the range. Some of my fuzzy head is also do to this. My eyes are not cooperating either. I'm very~very grateful I'm not blind. Today the needle in eye is better. I don't know if I should try Topamax again. Have been off it almost four yrs (I think).
I apologize for my late reply. Just wasn't sure what to say. Still drinking off and on. All those crap thoughts and feelings that come with active addiction. Along with being busy. Find at times alcohol gives me extra energy. Think its not just sugar, but acetate in brain. What I do know, is that MWO has helped me in the past. My desire for sobriety and interacting with others is at a low. Please know from my heart, that I do appreciate all your suggestions and support. Think of many of you each day. :love:
It was more about how woman would no longer smile, acknowledge, or speak to you. Even some who you think are your friends. Cliques are a normal part of society. I just don't like them. Along with a past sponsor who gossiped, about a different woman's 5th step. I called her out on it, in front of a small group of woman. She didn't take kindly to it. Yes, I don't appreciate gossip. I'm more forward in my communication style. Tend to not say much, if I think it will cause harm to others. Tho, I've gossiped to, but I try very hard not to. Also, there are people who chair meetings who call others retreads. People who chair and call out new comers and accuse them of no humility, cause they don't write their name and # on sheet. I nudged a couple of twenty something ladies and told them the real reason is so they can get to know you better and offer a phone# list.
I also had one good sponsor, but she micro-managed me to death. Have been told to get out of my city and head into large metro meetings. Just haven't been willing to take the time. After spending yrs at AA meetings and some Smart meetings, I've opted to do on-line. I think of AA as two parts. One is for fellowship and the other is the steps. Steps are the gist of the program. Supposedly, the ones that change your thinking, reactions and attitude, etc. After spending time at AA, I ended up feeling like I didn't belong. If you don't have a sponsor and do step work, continually. It talks about this in the 12x12. Some of what they teach and preach is against my core values. Feel as if I've been deprogramming my brain.
If I continue on this self destructive path, I'll seek OP. Still have therapy appt booked. But the truth is not everyone achieves 100% sobriety. If and when my head clears. I'm more apt to look back into Smart. My graves disease is active. I'm over the top of the range. Some of my fuzzy head is also do to this. My eyes are not cooperating either. I'm very~very grateful I'm not blind. Today the needle in eye is better. I don't know if I should try Topamax again. Have been off it almost four yrs (I think).
I apologize for my late reply. Just wasn't sure what to say. Still drinking off and on. All those crap thoughts and feelings that come with active addiction. Along with being busy. Find at times alcohol gives me extra energy. Think its not just sugar, but acetate in brain. What I do know, is that MWO has helped me in the past. My desire for sobriety and interacting with others is at a low. Please know from my heart, that I do appreciate all your suggestions and support. Think of many of you each day. :love:
Comment