Pychologists, talk therapy, and group therapy

[louise]

Pychologists, talk therapy, and group therapy

:l Hablur, I too wish I could be a surrogate dad and tell you it will be better. This has been an issue in my family so I'm going to recommend a book called "How to Survive When They're Depressed" by Anne Sheffield. You might find there is a support group through your local National Alliance for the Mentally Ill for family members. Their programs are generally very good. I agree it is important that you find time for you. Your son is going to need you for far more than a few more years so it is important to take care of yourself. Someone mentioned daycare at the gym, many of them have that or you might go or get together with a friend after he goes to bed or briefly on the weekend. Take care.

[ScoobyDoo]

Pychologists, talk therapy, and group therapy

Gee Hab... this is really full on... it really comes through. If I could just reach in and give you a hug, I would give you a huge bear hug variety.

Nancy's suggestions about group therapy for those in your situation is a really good one! Have you tried meditating - Not just the MWO hypno CD's but other guided meditations? If you're interested, I'll burn some for you and post them to you, as I've got a bit of a library going here. I think meditating is *really* good for switching your mind off, like what you described with trying to sleep at night.

You're a good man Hab - I can really see that.

Scoobs

[southernbelle47]

Pychologists, talk therapy, and group therapy

Hab......
You sound lonely and depressed.
Would your dad go with you and your son to the zoo or waterpark for a "boy's day out"?
Are there any brothers or uncles or male friends or co workers who have son's or daughters who would like a "dad's day out?

I enjoy going with my kids and now grandkids, but it's always nice to have another adult to talk to.

I'm so goofy that if I don't have somebody with me......I'll strike up a conservation with a stranger...of course while keeping a watchful eye on the kids.

And have you ever squeezed through those tunels at those indoor pizza + places!:H
The most fun I had last year, was at one of those on a "ride" , that I sat next to my grand daughter and it felt like we were on a wild airplane ride!
I was "high" for days and she is still talking about how cool grandma was for taking her there.. I think I spent twenty bucks on the whole thing!

Keep coming here and pouring out your pain....we do care.
:l Nancy

[hablur]

Pychologists, talk therapy, and group therapy

Thank you all for the comments. Scoob I would love to get my hands on some of the meditation CD's. Thank you for the offer.

We moved far from any support group 2 years ago when I changed companies and got a huge promotion. We lived in Seattle and now live in Kansas City. All our family and friends are back their.

[psychmommy]

Pychologists, talk therapy, and group therapy

Hablur, first of all, a big hug to you - :l When I read the last line of your orginal post, about wanting to be a little boy and having your dad give you a hug and work it out with you, I burst in to tears. Completely unexpected as I was sitting here not feeling much of anything. I too am 37 years old, I have two little boys, I drink too much and have a very difficult marriage. I would love nothing more than to be able to tell someone what is up and have it all be okay.

You got a lot of great advice already. . . Having been someone who has been in therapy with several different therapists, as well as someone who has been trained to do therapy and has done therapy, there has to be a "fit" between therapist and client. Not every therapist is equally able to work well with each client. I know it sucks to go in and express everything that is bothering you without getting much help in return. You may find someone else to be much more helpful for you if you can muster the strength to try again. I also am very familiar with both Chrons and bipolar and you do have your hands full! I thing Imatree's idea is brilliant - maybe use the money you used to spend on alcohol to get someone to come in and help with the house. It also sounds like you're very close to your dad - maybe you can have an honest talk about ways in which he can help make things easier for you.

My husband is an obsessive compulsive person - undiagnosed because he insists he doesn't have any problems - but everything has to be just right with him or he rages at me. His behavior has become worse over the years as has my drinking. He says the most horrible things to me, and I've always been very sensitive, so it feels like he is ripping my heart out sometimes. The drinking simply dull the pain. But of course, it may dull it for a little while, but makes everything worse in the long run. I have not yet persued a divorce because I don't want him to have access to the kids without me. He is often incredibly unreasonable with them and I need to step in and comfort them while distracting my husband. Anyway, my point is not to spill my guts but to let you know I understand a little of what you're experiencing.

Stay strong and know what you're being a good daddy to your son!

[YoungAtHeart]

Pychologists, talk therapy, and group therapy

Hi Hablur,

I'm with psychmommy. I'm in the mental health field, too, and I agree with everything she says so I won't repeat it. You sound like a great, responsible guy, but you've got to take care of yourself better.

I hope you find YOUR WAY OUT.

Kathy