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Horrible Nightmares

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    #1

    Horrible Nightmares

    Hi everyone,

    I have been suffering from horrific nightmares that are directly linked to a relationship I was in and as the dreams progress the truth starts to unravel. Realizing your wife was cheating on you longer than she admits and the avoidance of acknowledging it by drinking over it is starting to take its toll. Not currently, but drinking over the memory. I suppose nothing can stop that. Its convenient to blame alcohol and the alcoholic when in fact it was initially reinstated by a cheat. She claims she never did. But physical cheating and emotional cheating I see as the same thing. When married even having a crush on someone is cheating in my books. Just woke up from some very bad dreams and some realizations. How many of us also suffer from this?
    Last edited by empyr3al; May 30, 2017, 06:27 AM.
    "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein
    Tags: cheat, cheating, claims, dreams, nightmares
    #2
    Re: Horrible Nightmares

    I went through that prob 12 years ago and drank heaps too which didn't help. I held on to a hope / dream that I could get back with someone for a few years ,totally in denial with the drink calming my feelings. Really didn't help at all .Took me along time to get over and that was 1 instance. Lost Dad 7 years ago and have a hatred to what his financial planner tried to do , sticking his nose into my affairs. It still upsets me and have difficulties obtaining or wanting financial advice even though it would help. I honestly feel safe skydiving . Now I am 3 weeks sober , no missus trouble, no dodgey drinking friends nor do I care about local council or councillors. I see the world in the Bullshit that people are and trying to dissipate all the crap. This year I feel ok and am growing/starting my life over again

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      #3
      Re: Horrible Nightmares

      I had some horrid dreams when I was drinking. Not sort of reflective on infidelity, but bad.

      I always put them down to payback for some of the things I did when I was in my twenties.

      I think the anxiety mixed with alcohol is going to enhance the problems you are facing at any particular time. So what is prevalent at the time is going to be exaggerated into your dreams - I suppose? I mean, your wife denies it, right?

      A devils advocate might suggest you are attempting to convince yourself because that is what you want to "hear"?

      Obviously, tell me to fuck off if you think I am chatting bollox!

      Regards



      Bacman
      I am not a Doctor - I am an alcoholic.
      Thoughts expressed here are my own, often poorly put together and littered with atrocious grammar and spelling.

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        #4
        Re: Horrible Nightmares

        I've had some bad dreams myself. Went through a really difficult time a little over a year ago. My marriage of 18 years ended with hubby finding a new love on facebook....so yes I've had bad dreams. Had one last night as a matter of fact. I think it's the brain trying to process what's happened. But after all is said and done I'm glad he's gone now. I don't need that in my life. Someone who is capable of doing that is not after my best interest. I gets easier. I never would have believed it a year ago but it is true. I take the dreams as a reminder of what I no longer have to deal with.
        No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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          #5
          Re: Horrible Nightmares

          I also had a few skydiving nightmares 11 years ago on jumps 35ish to 45ish. Once I got through my B rels - Jump with 4 people and hit 50ish jumps, I was completely comfortable doing it knowing what I was doing it. I guess the addage goes, face your fears and they go away is true and think this needs to be applied to a number of thing in life

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            #6
            Re: Horrible Nightmares

            Alcohol rarely makes any situation better. I've always had vivid dreams, and recurring nightmares. These haven't ceased in sobriety, and are just me.
            I used the Sinclair Method to beat my alcoholic drinking.

            Drank within safe limits for almost 2 years

            AF date 22/07/13

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              #7
              Re: Horrible Nightmares

              [MENTION=20846]YouKayBee[/MENTION]. Its not just you.
              "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

              Comment

                #8
                Re: Horrible Nightmares

                Originally posted by Neo View Post
                I also had a few skydiving nightmares 11 years ago on jumps 35ish to 45ish. Once I got through my B rels - Jump with 4 people and hit 50ish jumps, I was completely comfortable doing it knowing what I was doing it. I guess the addage goes, face your fears and they go away is true and think this needs to be applied to a number of thing in life
                [MENTION=22857]Neo[/MENTION]. I faced my biggest fear as a child by doing a job that is completely the exact fear I had. Face it. Because I did not understand at a young age how a pool worked. The bottom drain in commercial pools scared the shit out of me (and so it should as its dangerous). I worked as a pro pool tech for a decade (18 to 28 or so) as a leak locator so in live working water and faced my worst fears while diving to a bottom drain. I have complete control of how this stuff works and do repairs people would never dream of. These are not my dreams any more... they have long since past since I went directly after my fear and took control.

                Electrical does not frighten me any more unless its really freaking old, or a person modded their home and it does not make sense. Try doing electrical repair on a moving ship that varies in voltage... ffs. You have no idea how the thing is wired, its insane and again the ships i touched were old. Moving so varying voltage. I repair appliances so find the route cause often leads to some scary shit as its all live and you have no idea what you are turning off. So that is still a fear and in my dreams. I did Nat/Propane gas, steam (ouch) and electrical repair for another decade. Up to 600v at 100amp (60,000 watts), which is insane. Does not frighten me as much as I know what not to touch and own thousands of dollars in test and lock out equipment. Unfortunately my friend got his finger burnt off and now has metal components in it. 600v, and roughly 20 amps did it for him, Thankfully it was through his finger and not down to his foot which would have caused heart problems. So yeah the dreams are of real things that can happen and not delusion.

                The problem now is that the relationship is dissolved and I can sleep without nightmares, but once I wake up I realize it and if I don't stop it immediately I cannot fall back to sleep. (She cheated, I was married and in actual love, eros love). Types of love, Philios, Agape and Eros. I try to dream of winning 64 million dollars and she missed out so I can get back to sleep. Of course its not real and its a screwed up way to try to fall back asleep, yet it seems to work living in denial when you need sleep. Lying to yourself and making up fantasy so you can sleep again.

                ^^^ Obviously lots of psychological training and weird stuff. Best of luck everyone.
                Last edited by empyr3al; August 2, 2017, 09:10 AM. Reason: typos, small edits
                "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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