Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

[JackieClaire]

Ooops forgot.

Jet lagged from my holiday in Scotland...........I think they're about a nanno second ahead of the English.

White rabbits and all that.



And under official guidelines I am obliged by law to tell you to take the rabbit out of the cup before pouring coffee into it

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

why?:applouse:

Because you'd get hares in it.

[stirly-girly]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

Good morning Army!!

Happy July to all - Canada Day today so my family will be celebrating later on. Canada is 150 years old this year. So Happy Birthday to Canada!!!

Jackie - the place you stayed looks wonderful and so restful. I'm sure Bess enjoyed it as much as you and Mr. JC did.

Mrs. A - if you're around - great to see you and to hear that you are still running!

Satz - welcome back - glad to hear you enjoyed your visit to Greece and that you finally got to Ithaki!

KTAB - huge congratulation on 6 months sober. It is a big milestone and good job on getting to it. I know what you mean about feeling peaceful. I am dealing with things in my life right now that are so distressing and in spite of that, I still have the peace of not drinking. I would never be able to cope otherwise with what is going on around me plus working 10 and 12-hour days. Our sobriety is to be treasured and it sounds like you have already found that out. I am very happy for you.

Mr. G - best of luck with the date. Please go easy on the hair-removal stuff....

Hello to all the Army and best wishes for a great weekend to all. We are sweltering here in Athens. It was 44C when I left the store at 7pm yesterday and looks like it will be about that today. 11:30 am and the temp is 35C. Wonder what it will by by 4pm which is the hottest hour of the day.

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

Morning Stirls, give me a min and I'll go look at the garden thermometer................just over 15C and a bit chilly...........got home last night and put the heating on.

[stirly-girly]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

Hey Stirly - dunno if I addressed you yesterday - haven't been around here much this week - dunno how you stand those temps -- we were in the high 20's for a week or so and I could barely function at work!!

Hiya Molly - hope you're feeling better! Can't really stand the heat as I get older (and older ) Have the air conditioner on all day at work and a fan in the upstairs offices to suck out the hot air. Sweltering, it is....

Morning Stirls, give me a min and I'll go look at the garden thermometer................just over 15C and a bit chilly...........got home last night and put the heating on.

Ach, I would love 15C right now, Jackie. Actually, I was joking with a friend yesterday saying that I was going to take the first plane back to Canada. It was 16C and raining in my hometown. Bliss in the middle of this heat...

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

Stirly, make sure if times get too tough you know you can talk to us. OK.

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

Happy Anniversary to Mr and Mrs Satzuma

[stirly-girly]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

Stirly, make sure if times get too tough you know you can talk to us. OK.

Thanks, Jackie - I mean that. Seriously, I would hardly know where to start. I am coping because by nature I am a positive person and I am sober. I am just sooooo thankful that I am not drinking because I would never, ever have been able to cope with what is going on. This is a bit of what is happening here, just to give you an idea. As you know, we have four grandchildren now - two lassies from older son and two lads from younger son. Older son's wife has never liked Mr. Stirly right from the start. That's okay - you can't like everyone and not everyone can like you. Anyway, as you know, their first daughter was born with an issue with her one hand - born without fingers on it. Her mother took it very hard, went for councelling, therapy, whatever you call it but has never really accepted it and moved on. The wee girl had surgery and things have improved but her hand will never be normal. Just something she and all of us have to cope with. And I don't say that lightly but jaysus, there are so many worse things that could have happened. It's not like she was born without a head or something. Anyway, daughter-in-law always was a clean freak who got worse with the first baby and who now has an obsession with what second baby - almost 12 months old - can and should not come into contact with. So a couple of months ago we went for coffee and I made the mistake of wearing lipstick. That's right, lipstick. She was not pleased - first of all asked me to wipe my hands with a baby wipe before I touched the baby because I had bought something and was in contact with money. Then an hour or so later, an hour after I had wiped all my lipstick off, I went to touch the baby which was in her Mom's arms and she pulled back and said - please, not so close. So I said, - am I not allowed to touch her. Her reply was that I had been wearing lipstick and I should have known better. So we had this confrontation in the middle of the town square - son took her side of course and now we are not speaking and I have only seen my granddaughters for a very short time in the 10weeks since then. And that was at the baby's baptism where we were snubbed completely by daughter-in-law and not even invited to sit at the family table. Nor were we included in the family pictures taken after the baptism. Okay, I let it ride and will see my girlies when I can. A week after that, younger son tells me that he had discovered that his wife of 18 months is a pathological liar and has told him so many lies about her past and herself, that he doesn't know which end is up. We had all thought her to be one of the sweetest, most loving and genuine people that we had ever met and were so happy for our son. She brought a five-year old son into our family whom we look upon as our grandson and love him to bits. Then last December, they had another baby - Junior. My son is shattered, his life has completely fallen apart and we don't know what the future will hold. The thing is that we don't and can't know if she lies on purpose or if it is something she does unconciously. She had gone to Belgium about a month ago to visit a friend and we found out she was looking for a job and planning to up and take off with the two boys. Just like that, out of the blue. Our son has taken over the roll of Daddy to her little boy and they have a fantastic relationship and he has done amazing things in the three years since they have met. One of those was going back to college and getting his Masters in Bus. Admin. all the while working full-time and helping out with the family business plus moving into a new home and fixing up all kinds of things to make their home beautiful and unique. Suddenly, he finds out this about his wife and his world has fallen to pieces. And we don't know what to do. In the meantime, I took over the family business a year ago which was not Mr. Stirly's choice - he had to retire - and he has made my life hell since then. To the point that I am now looking for an apartment for myself and we will separate after 42 years of marriage. At least I will be in my own home and not have to be around him. That's about it in a nutshell. The business requires very long hours which I don't mind but we moved to new premises on Feb. first and our neighbour next door has been giving me problems ever since. None of the last really bother me much but it is very hurtful to me to not be able to see my granddaughters as often as I want to and I am so very concerned about what will happen to younger son and of course, the baby. If his wife should suddenly decide to move back with to her parents, my son will lose immediate contact with the boys and he is a devoted father. It will crush him. And we will lose contact with the boys as well. And here I thought that when my kids got older, that I would have more peace of mind. Yah, right. Anyway, as I said, thankfully I am not drinking and will not drink - there is no desire to, just the odd thought that when I was drinking I would have had a couple of quick ones to calm me down. Now I just rant for a bit, put on some loud music and then get back to work. Thank goodness I have the business to occupy so much of my thoughts and time.

So, what's new in your corner of the world.... inkele:

[stirly-girly]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

deffo Stirly - when things are bad it's when we need to try and open up - says I who hides in a corner ;-(
WOOHOO the Lions --- great match!!

Cross-post, Molls.

Oh, and I just found out that I have to have surgery. Now who in the heck is going to run the store since I am the only one who works here.... :confused-new:

[stirly-girly]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

good god Stirly -- (that was a mega xpost btw - wouldn't have just trotted out a cliché) that is very tough -- and all I can say is - as I was told in treatment -- always do the next right thing - and sometimes the next right thing is to do nothing - the wee grandchildren won't go away - as in - they will still be somewhere in a year or two - but at the moment it sounds like the young people are in absolute turmoil - and hard and all as it is - maybe take a back seat and let them sort out their own adult problems - hard - I know
Yourself and your husband - hard as well - but sometimes yeah - for our own sanity we need to look after ourselves - have you been able to speak to him about all your feelings and unhappiness?

I do take a back seat to the kids and let them sort out their problems. I NEVER interfere. It's not something I would have wanted from either my parents or my in-laws so I don't do it either. But it is hard with the wee ones in the picture.

Can't talk to Mr. Stirly - we never, ever could communicate. And it has nothing to do with the language. I speak excellent Greek, the man simply does not listen. He talks, you listen. And if he does manage to actually absorb something of what you've said, he always turns your words around to suit himself. I'm not criticizing him, I'm just stating how things are. Neither of our sons have a good relationship with him either. Younger son tried working in the family business with him twice and both times left yet younger son and I have had an excellent working relationship for the last year. You can't communicate with someone who doesn't know how to have a real conversation. And in all the years we have been married, we have never, ever had a real conversation about anything serious. Nor has he ever had a serious conversation or given good advice to either me or my sons about something. His whole world revolves around himself. He never considers other people's feelings or anything when he says something. Just spits out what he thinks without considering the results of his words. Back in a minute...

[stirly-girly]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

and again I can fully sympathise there - Joe was 27 years in the shop and I often thought what would we do if he broke a leg or something - retired 6 months and he breaks his leg! have you anyone who can do a locum for you?

Nope. We have about 100 different products just in the store and you have to know all about them - technical stuff. It would take someone at least 3 months to learn them well enough to be able to advise a customer on what is the proper product for their needs. That plus answer the e-mails for economic offers about other products not in the store - again specialty products - and ones you have to estimate prices for. It's very time-consuming. We have between 20 and 40 request as day for price offers. Plus walk-in customers and phone calls. It's a madhouse here some days. Can you imagine working like that with a hangover? Not me!!! :spin:

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

Holy crap, Stirly, you're going through the wars there, lambie.

I've got to run out in a few minutes but something jumped into my mind..........My mother used to work in pensions over here and it surprised her quite a bit to see people over 60 divorcing or separating...........basically it boiled down to the fact either one or both of the marriage just found out they just didn't get along after one or both of them retired or couldn't abide each other breathing the same air...........even if they'd been together donkey's years. Its not unusual.

Sorry I can't stop long...........I have to get gone.

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

Stirley.
Time to move on - even after 42 years. Don't waste any more time with him. On the communication front he sounds like Mr S - but Mr S is at least kind, funny and the kids adore him.
And as Molls says - let the adult kids sort their problems - just lend an ear when needed. I always say there are 2 sides to every story and you are hearing one side.
The first DIL sounds like she needs help - maybe OCD ? that is not normal behaviour.
I know it's hard for you losing the little ones
All that worry & negtivity surrounding you will make you ill.

Get someone into shop part-time and train them up. Then go for your surgery when that is done?

[stirly-girly]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

Holy crap, Stirly, you're going through the wars there, lambie.

I've got to run out in a few minutes but something jumped into my mind..........My mother used to work in pensions over here and it surprised her quite a bit to see people over 60 divorcing or separating...........basically it boiled down to the fact either one or both of the marriage just found out they just didn't get along after one or both of them retired or couldn't abide each other breathing the same air...........even if they'd been together donkey's years. Its not unusual.

Sorry I can't stop long...........I have to get gone.

Talk to you later, Jackie...

Stirley.
Time to move on - even after 42 years. Don't waste any more time with him. On the communication front he sounds like Mr S - but Mr S is at least kind, funny and the kids adore him.
And as Molls says - let the adult kids sort their problems - just lend an ear when needed. I always say there are 2 sides to every story and you are hearing one side.
The first DIL sounds like she needs help - maybe OCD ? that is not normal behaviour.
I know it's hard for you losing the little ones
All that worry & negtivity surrounding you will make you ill.

Get someone into shop part-time and train them up. Then go for your surgery when that is done?

I will move on, Satzy. I refuse to waste anymore of my life living in an unhealthy situation.

As for the kids, I am here when they need to talk. Older son supports his wife 100% in whatever she says and does. At least to us. Younger son talks to me and I try to be as neutral as possible but damn, it is hard. And I do know both sides of the story on this one. She has admitted that she lies and is seeing a therapist. The thing is that it's been going on for years and years. She had a relationship a long time ago when she lived in London. They guy was Italian and she told him that due to her Dad being in the Army, that her parents had split and that she and her brother had lived for some time in Italy with her Mother who is part Italian. DIL speaks Italian so it wasn't hard to convince the guy. The thing is that when they got engaged - he wanted his parents to meet her parents and guess what. Her mother not only doesn't speak Italian, she's not half or at all Italian and has never been to Italy. So her cover was blown. Came back to Greece and started the shenanigans again with one of her brother's best friends. Her cover got blown there. Back to England with the father of her child - more lies to us about that and it goes on and on. The thing is that her mother knew about all of this lying since the situation with the Italian guy and has been "keeping an eye on her" ever since. Whatever that means. So her family knew about this whole thing but no one thought to inform my son that the woman he was going to marry and now has a child with, is a pathological liar. Or whatever it's called. He promised to be faithful and to love her forever but he didn't count on this. And it's not like she got ill and we will deal with it. This is something that has been going on for over 15 years and something her family knew about. Her brother told my son about all the lies but only a month or so ago. Said he couldn't sit back and watch his sister destroy yet another person's life. The problem was, he fessed up about 18 months too late. So yah, I know the other side, too.

As for the store - I can't afford to hire someone AND move into my own place. I would have to make 250 euro a day profit. The store does well, but doesn't make that much. So an employee is out of the question at the moment. Hopefully, I can have the surgery on Friday, be back by the following Wednesday and younger son can fill in for me. We'll see. I'm most concerned about him at this time....

Thank you all for your concern and advice. It means the world to me. I know I haven't been around much lately but now you can understand a bit of why I don't post much....

[stirly-girly]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-July 2017

Mario?? Does anyone know what happened to him? Does anyone have any contact with him - FB, e-mail address, cell phone number to text?