Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Morning.
Trouble Chez Satz today. Young Satz has been drinking heavily.
GF wants him out & I'd say job is all but gone.

So it's the street or back here.

Getting sound advice from friends who've been there and ringing places to see next steps.
I don't want him back here drinking or even the threat of drinking - I can't live that way.

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Morning.
Trouble Chez Satz today. Young Satz has been drinking heavily.
GF wants him out & I'd say job is all but gone.

So it's the street or back here.

Getting sound advice from friends who've been there and ringing places to see next steps.
I don't want him back here drinking or even the threat of drinking - I can't live that way.

I'm follying ya!!!! Just a thought -- if he comes home and the job is gone - he'll have NO money -- not even the dole if he's living at home - so if there's no booze in the house and no money lying around...... just might GET him sober? (won't keep him sober -- nothing will do that except himself -- even rehab only shows you HOW to live a happy sober life - it doesn't 'give' sobriety)

[rustop59]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Morning.
Trouble Chez Satz today. Young Satz has been drinking heavily.
GF wants him out & I'd say job is all but gone.

So it's the street or back here.

Getting sound advice from friends who've been there and ringing places to see next steps.
I don't want him back here drinking or even the threat of drinking - I can't live that way.

Hugs Satz. It's not easy but you take care of yourself. Remember your own oxygen mask before you can help anyone else. He has to decide for himself. All of us here can identify and realise it's not as easy as it sounds. Glad you have people who can give good advice. I have one friend who is so dismissive of people with drink problems. Help is there so just do it. She has a counselling qualification!! Needless to say with an attitude like that I would never confide.

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Thanks Rustytop
I have had group therapy before and I try to do what they told me.
It's hard when I have MrS and DD not getting it. I look like a hard bitch.

They are now scouring the pubs looking for him and he can't be found.
What they intend to do if they find him - I don't know. I think the aim is to get hi sober at least 1 day.
The Gf has gone home to her parents and I'm guessing his job is on the line..... and he's still drinking.

[anon]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Oh Satz so sorry to hear about the lad perhaps this could be a rock bottom potentially losing his job and girlfriend. Fingers crossed that he gets found quickly and manages to sort himself out.
Big hugs X

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Hey Whizzy Rusters -- Benjy -- it really takes an addict to understand an addict - as Joe went through a lot of treatment with me and also 2 years of Aftercare - and would admit to having been a 'heavy' drinker - even a bit of a 'dependant' drinker he would be the closest approximation of a non-addict understanding an addict -- and he still doesn't 'get' it - so Mr S and DD trawling the pubs may as well be pissing in the wind.. he will have to find his own way - and if the GF has any sense she will stay at her parents until he has a couple of years of sobriety - I know I sound very harsh - but this is not a disease that can be pussyfooted around - unless the truth of the situation is spoken about it can be glossed over as just someone 'on a bit of a bender' or 'having a few too many' or 'fond of a pint' -- that is all bollix -- but it cannot be fixed by anyone but the addict wanting to fix it.. and that's the reality

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Thanks Rustytop
I have had group therapy before and I try to do what they told me.
It's hard when I have MrS and DD not getting it. I look like a hard bitch.

They are now scouring the pubs looking for him and he can't be found.
What they intend to do if they find him - I don't know. I think the aim is to get hi sober at least 1 day.
The Gf has gone home to her parents and I'm guessing his job is on the line..... and he's still drinking.

You're anything but a hard bitch............thing is he needs to take the cotton wool out of his ears and shove it in his mouth and listen and listen hard...........we're not making up fairy tales when we say we have know or have known people that have died from this addiction.............tbh I was thinking of Barny today...........used to come into work he was about 37/38 when he died.........through his drinking. When sober he had a brain the size of a planet but unfortunately not big enough to realise that he couldn't handle alcohol in any shape or form.

[catch22]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Goodnight all
When I use to go group therapy a lot of young people in my group had passed away, it so sad to see to think we all got on, it was a small group. I feel I was one of the lucky ones. Makes you think why ? Sometimes !
Getting nervous for tomorrow son got a kickboxing fight not seen him live before so am going to make sure I bring some tissues with me. Don't like the thought of someone punching him, but I promise I be there this time to see him.
I do find it hard to sleep, am of to watch a film soon 😎

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Good morning folks.

I wish I had some words of wisdom Benjy but as you well know when in the fog and altered state of heavy drinking our perceptions change, put bluntly we don't think straight, don't want to be told what we are doing to ourselves and find it so hard to take that first step and even harder to make it stick. I know that sounds negative but it was my reality for years. Our old friend Mario posted that he honesty thought I would never get sober and he knew me for years and had been there and worn the t-shirt. My point is that your son is not beyond turning this around but who knows what will finally happen for him to accept this and decide no more. It must be soul destroying as a parent to witness this and my heart goes out to you. It has only recently dawned on me that I hardly gave a moments thought to how my drinking effected my parents. Chances are your son is in the same place, never say never, he can become the man he should be.

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Morning - good post tabbers - and it is even easy to forget ourselves the grip the grog had on us - but when I think back - I know that in the middle of a drinking phase it was nigh on impossible for me to even postpone the next drink -

[catch22]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

So sorry about my post I not realise @satz223 was talking about your son, it must be very hard for you to see this :hug:

[rustop59]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Good morning everyone. Great post Tabs and you are a great example. Guitarista put up a you tube clip recently and it mentioned death by a 1000 cuts, try everything and it also said success is built on failure. I really struggled with that, why wasn't I getting it first time, what was wrong with me. He has tried a few times Satz so he is not in complete denial. Thinking of you , we are all here for you.

Nothing planned except long hike and maybe a read of the Sunday papers.

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Good morning everyone. Great post Tabs and you are a great example. Guitarista put up a you tube clip recently and it mentioned death by a 1000 cuts, try everything and it also said success is built on failure. I really struggled with that, why wasn't I getting it first time, what was wrong with me. He has tried a few times Satz so he is not in complete denial. Thinking of you , we are all here for you.

Nothing planned except long hike and maybe a read of the Sunday papers.

Morning Catch and Rusters again -- a very good point - sometimes THE single hardest part of this disease is to acknowledge it's existence at all -- young Satz has definitely done that... he knows Benjy -- now you just have to wait and be there for him when he finally admits defeat... with no facilitating or enabling.. that's also key

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Thank you everyone - you are THE best :love:
I don't know what I would do without the advice & support I get here and from Molls & Jacks in private when I panic and keep them from their sleep :heartbeat:

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-September 2017

Ahh Satz, missus. You'd do the same for us.