Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

[Rusty]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

Morning Army! I slept in until 5:30 AM and now I am running late.

Have a great day and I will be back later.

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

Hey rusty and jacks - far from a mill pond now - just hitting

[stirly-girly]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

Hiya Army!!

Hope all is well with with everyone in Ireland. Fingers crossed no one has any serious damage...

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

Hey Stirly and all else -- well - I have to say -- it's been really really windy --- but that's all really -- didn't even lose power... 3 people have died around the country tho so that's really sad... schools still closed tomorrow so there must be a bit of debris around... I know Benjy has lost power - or did - earlier on. doubt if anyone lost it that they'll have it back for a while - but as I work in the same town as I live I don't suppose there's any chance the power is gone at work so I'll be back tomorrow - so yeah --- Ophelia must be heading your way now Jackieclaire - Tony - Arsie -- reckon it's being downgraded as it goes tho according to our met office.

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

Evening,
We've had Sahara sand and ash and debris from the forest fires in Portugal and Spain so the sky's been the most weird colours from darkest grey to purple and an orange sun..........with the stillness tbh its been rather spooky.

[IamMary]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

Hello,
Not much drama here either, well Im only up the road from Molly. Still windy out but thats it really. Its the flying trees that are a worry now for a couple of days. Hope Satz get the electricity back soon..
Lights on down there Tabbers + rustop??

Sad news about Sean hughes. Always liked him

[IamMary]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

Evening,
We've had Sahara sand and ash and debris from the forest fires in Portugal and Spain so the sky's been the most weird colours from darkest grey to purple and an orange sun..........with the stillness tbh its been rather spooky.

Was really eerie earlier too! I always seems to get a head ache before the weather breaks..

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

Hello,
Sad news about Sean hughes. Always liked him

How terribly sad....

[rustop59]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

Good morning. Survived the storm. No electricity for a few hours and no water this morning but will survive. Poor families who lost loved ones. Have work so better leave early as some of the roads blocked with fallen trees. Catch you all later.

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

Morning gorgeousnesses and loverlies,

Seems like weather's back to normal for up here in NE England...........bit chilly, windy and clear skies.

Would you believe its 8 years to the date that I flew over to Belfast and met up with Mario and Opal. The day that Mario went up to two women in the Europa Hotel and asked them ...........Are you my way out?...........they weren't .........me and Opal were sat in another room. Wish I could have seen there faces still makes me laugh to this day.

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

Always loved that story! I miss him

[tonyniceday]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

Well I was going to start this off by saying "Women FFS!" then it occurred to me that I am very much in the minority here so....

Spouses/Partners FFS!

10 days ago my marriage was in tatters and I honestly thought I was going to be alone - I had already started to think about contingency plans and staffing at the restaurant etc. Then things changed - that manifested itself because we have a holiday booked for next month to Lanzarote...the flights were with Monarch and I said something along the lines of "we'll have to call the company and change the flights." The immediate response was "we're not going so we'll take the refund and forget it"

Now the flights have been re-booked with another airline so you can see that the ice is beginning to melt.

Then comes the body blow - this has happened 3 times now and this is not word for word, but the gist of the conversation goes:

Mrs T "So you've given up drinking completely again"

Me "Yes...and?"

Mrs T "well that's not what I wanted, I just wanted you to control it so we could have a glass of wine or 2 together at the end of the day"

Me "It won't work that way"

Mrs T "why? I don't get it"

Me " because I'm addicted and it might work out for a couple of nights but I then know I'll start drinking during the day again"

Mrs T "But why? I don't understand why you need to drink in the daytime...surely you can just leave it until after work?"

Me "No, that won't work...I'll always find an excuse to have one or a lot, earlier in the day because I'm an alcoholic"

Mrs T "I don't believe that, you can control it"

Me "I REALLY can't - it's all or nothing"

Mrs T "OK so what happens when we go on holiday?"

Me (evasive answer for now) "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it"

And so it goes on......

WTF am I supposed to say to get it through???

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

I can certainly identify with that Tony - Joe did not want to lose his boozing buddy - he just wanted one with an off switch and tbh until he went to aftercare with me he couldn't understand he just thought I was weak or greedy or something I think - maybe ask her to read a book about addiction or ask her to go to an al-anon meeting? You know - no one truly understands but an addict

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

I can identify too, Tony. ...the likes of us cannot drink in any way, shape or form.....we have an addicition...........just like a heroin addict the only difference being ours is with a legal substance called alcohol. Alcohol addiction that causes many thousands of deaths each year......

My first thought is perhaps Mrs T is looking at her own drinking and its making her uncomfortable.

Like Molls says, reading about addiction and talking with other partners could help may help her.

I can honestly say that if Mr JC had continued to drink the way we used to do together I was more than willing to get out of the marriage. My sobriety is my number one priority today, tomorrow and the rest of my days. Now the thing is he rarely drinks in the house and I mean rarely, probably Chrimbo and New Year and the bi-annual BBQ.

[dill]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol - October 2017

Mr. T, nice that things are turning around with your marriage! I'm really happy to hear that. I am sure you want to keep on this trajectory. What strikes me is that this is the 3rd time you have had this conversation or some version of it. It doesn't sound like she is hearing you. I agree with JC and M that she needs to learn more about what you (and she) are dealing with regarding alcohol. It's a tricky situation, but if you try to walk the line she is asking you to walk: be a 'normal' drinker so that she can have a drinking buddy, well it just seems to me that that will seal the fate of your marriage. She is asking the impossible. She just doesn't know it. No great advice here other than for you to be as honest as you can with her and try to help her see that the risk is too great all for a couple of glasses of wine in the evening!

Alcoholism is a disease, IMO. Asking an alcoholic to drink is like asking a diabetic to eat sweets. The end result being much the same in the long run.