One Step at a Time - November 2017

[NoSugar]

Re: One Step at a Time - November 2017

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION], I agree with everyone that you did the right thing. In the long run, being what seems like selfish now will be the best thing for everyone in your life, and most importantly, YOU. If you're like me, the lie you told your mom pales in comparison to the whoppers I told to myself and others while I was drinking. My entire life seemed to big one big lie and that is just no way to live.

If telling your mom a lie really eats you up, the other choice is to tell her the truth about why you can't see her. How she receives that isn't anything you can control and it isn't your problem. But either way, protecting your quit is the most important and believe it or not, actually least selfish, thing you can do. xx, NS

[abcowboy]

Good morning [MENTION=9757]NoraC[/MENTION] and [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION]. I'm going to bet you both are having a better day. Shitty days will come and shitty days will go, just remember to wipe your butt and flush them away! And just a little something for both of you to let you know I'm thinking of you both...

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - November 2017

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone. I needed to get that out - I had a major drinking nightmare last night. Don't have time to post right now but I did wake up on the right side of the bed today. So things are going to be fine. Mom has started out with asking how long she's been here and when she's going home. So, yesterday was the beginning. Hopefully, it will not be a major episode since she did take her med last night.

Pauly - I agree with everyone else. I understand you feel guilty but you were so brave to take care of you.

More later. Thank you all for being here xxxxoooo

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - November 2017

You are an amazing woman, Nora, and one of my most important role models. Much love and respect, NS

Thank you for saying that. And thank you everyone else for all the kind, loving remarks. The thing is that I feel like such a fraud. I am certainly not an amazing woman. I have done so many things in my life that I am ashamed of. Truly regret.
But, I am trying to make the last 3rd of my life something that I can feel at peace with. I am so in awe of so many people here. NS - you are definitely one of them. I am trying to learn from all of you.
I just thank you all for giving me the chance to become the person that I want to be. Giving me a place to come and lay out my heart. :heartbeat:

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - November 2017

One more thing and then I'll stop talking about myself! (For a few minutes at least)

That nightmare was awful last night. So yesterday when we were at the grocery store, I picked up a bottle. I was looking at it to see if it was champagne or flavored cider. Just curious as I walked by.
Anyway, so last night in the nightmare - I somehow had drank. I can't remember the actual drinking part of it. But, I remember the GUILTY feeling. I kept saying to myself, it was only one glass and then arguing to myself but it's starting over from Day 1. Why did you do that?!? Then it flipped to another part of the nightmare and hubby was there. He picked up a paper bag with a bottle of tequilla and it was almost empty. I woke up in a panic!

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - November 2017

It was really great to have so many people stopping by and talking. :yay: It's really nice to have all the interaction.
[MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION] - you made me laugh - I hadn't heard that one about wiping your butt and flushing them away. ROTFL Thank you for that laugh. Also, thanks for the lovely flowers.
[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] - I hope you are feeling a little better about things today. I know exactly what you mean and understand you feeling guilty. And ANGRY at alcohol for robbing you of more. But, I see this as a huge step for you in reaching your goal. You KNEW what would happen. You played it all forward in your head and you CHOSE a different ending. Pauly - when I started doing that for myself, my life changed for the better.
I know it's not easy and I fretted about quite a few occasions. But, I played each event forward in my head. I chose what I needed - sometimes that meant taking antabuse, sometimes telling little white lies, sometimes staying home in bed with the covers over my head. You are doing so great my friend. Big hugs to you.
[MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION] - thank you for your pep talk. You are right. Yuck - sorry about your furnace issue. Hubby brought it up today and I was able to be positive since I had already vented and read all the advice. He thinks spending one night would be fun but doesn't want to spend 3 nights........because he would rather do that when we can get away/away - not just a half hour down the freeway where we always stay. He is right, we'll go for a night and have a wonderful time and come home.
I always think that I'm going to start watching TWD but I never have. I feel so out of it. LOL
[MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] - thank you for your words. You mean so much to me and have been such a support to me on this journey. Thank you for once again propping me back up. Big hugs to you. You are special.
[MENTION=1214]Rusty[/MENTION] - Enjoy Pittsburgh. I hope the weather is ok for you. Thank you again for always being there. You are the one that is always on the go, handling so many things! I don't know how you handle it all. I'm glad you found a good handyman! I could use one of those. LOL
[MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION] - thank you for your kind words. They meant a lot to me. You are another one that is showing me how to do this. :love:

@liz - thank you - another person that I admire so much. How many people are coming over for Thanksgiving? Your parents & sister's & families too? I am so glad that you got to talk to CJ. I can imagine how much you miss her. How great that they are planning on coming home for Christmas. Glad to hear that Joe is working.

Got to run. Glassie - you are missed. I hope that things are going well for you. Techie :heartbeat:
Mr V & Mr G - hope you both are doing great!

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - November 2017

Nora,just take the compliments,you are a great person! A lot of people I've known throughout the years ship their parent off to a nursing home when they need as much hands on care as your mom does,you're taking great care of her at home in a nurturing way,that really speaks as to what kind of woman you are to me my brother stopped by for a little bit on his way out,that made me feel tons better! He also agreed that mom's been outta control with the drinking and needs to get a handle on it cuz it just makes her less able to deal with the loss of Jon so it turned out ok after all,hope everyone is having a nice night,TWD starts soon

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - November 2017

Enjoy your show!!!!!!

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - November 2017

I love how everyone is here chatting away! [MENTION=6149]Paul[/MENTION]y I'm glad you're feeling better about things. We gotta do what we gotta do to stay sober. Hopefully your mom will come around. [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION] just wondering if you live on the east coast. We've probably had this discussion before, but well I forget! [MENTION=1214]Rusty[/MENTION] happy you found that handyman! Hope it's an easy week in Pittsburgh for you! [MENTION=5628]Nora[/MENTION] sounds like you're in a better mood today. Glad you and hubby resolved the weekend getaway. I've had those dreams too and they are so unsettling. It's a relief to wake up and know that it's just a nightmare. The subconscious is a powerful thing! [MENTION=6262]Cowboy[/MENTION], thanks for always looking out for us! Any snow yet by you?
Hubby is grouting the downstairs bathroom. I'm going to go help him clean up. Hope you all have a relaxing evening!

[dill]

Re: One Step at a Time - November 2017

[MENTION=19302]Lizann[/MENTION] we probably have talked about where each other lives, but I too forget. So, here is a general refresher for you and for folks who don't know much about me. I live in southwestern Ohio but grew up in the Cleveland suburbs before moving here. I have two grown children, a boy and a girl, and 3 grandchildren ages 6, 6, and 12 and Tessa the faithful guard dog!. Like [MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION], I live in a rural setting. I am retired but worked in the schools most of my career. I loved my work but I am still grateful to be retired and enjoying my freedom! I was a functional alcoholic for the later years of my working life but I was rapidly approaching the dysfunctional level. I realized I needed to get things under control before I did something I would not be able to conceal, as I had been for many years. So, here I am! What region do you live in?

[MENTION=9757]NoraC[/MENTION], I am glad you have made peace with yourself and Scott. He does sound to me like a gem! Still, you have to have a rest and reset, so stretch the one night stay out as long as possible! Is going someplace completely on your own a possibility at some point? Or even something you would enjoy doing? Last spring I went for 4 nights to stay with my daughter, just by myself. I can't tell you how much that helped my frame of mind! I've been encouraging Mr. D to do the same but he doesn't seem to have the desire. He keeps really busy here with various hobbies and projects. He has a shop full of tools and materials.

[abcowboy]

I'm just like a bad cold [MENTION=19302]Lizann[/MENTION], just when you think I'm gone I pop back up again lol. I don't like to mess with the rhythm of a thread, so I only chime in once and a while. We've got over a foot of snow already, so it looks like it's going to be another long winter of

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - November 2017

Oh, we have no rhythm here. LOL We are just muddling thru. :love:

Have a great Monday.

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - November 2017

Dill I am jersey born and raised. I have three kids, two girls and a boy. The girls are both married, my son is 24 and is just starting his career. He is still living at home. I have a 5 month old grandson. Then there's our sweet little Lucy. I have recently changed jobs but have worked in the medical field most of my career. I was a functional alcoholic, but my drinking did get out of control. It was time to put an end to the madness.

How was everyone's Monday?

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - November 2017

My Monday was ok. I'm glad that it is a 3 day week. Is everyone all set for Thanksgiving? I stopped by and did my grocery pickup at Walmart. So, I'm all set. I'm just making a couple of dishes, no turkey of course. J&C will probably bring Mom some turkey anyway.

I am almost 59 years old! Been married for almost 40 years. Have one son & DIL. No grandbabies yet but they are hoping it will happen soon. They live about half an hour from here. My 90 year old Mom lives with us. Hubby cares for her - he is unable to work due to a brain hemorrhage about 20 years ago. Luckily he is normally feeling well enough to watch over her. We have 2 dogs and 1 cat and then our other cat who disappeared for months and then showed up and then disappeared again.
I was a daily drinker, hiding it in many different ways, had been slowly killing myself and escalated it at the end. I never want to do that again.

And there is the boring story of my life.......

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - November 2017

Good Morning, Stepping Friends!

I appreciate all your support regarding my nasty trip to Alexandria. These Pittsburgh clients are nice. This is a satellite office for the company I was at in Alexandria where my client physically confronted an employee in his 60s. This employee, a gentleman in his 60s...suffered a massive heart attack two days later. I think my client's ass is grass. Good. I think he makes about $500,000 USD per year.

I hope everyone has a wonderful AF Tuesday!