Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

I was working all day 'till 8pm - came home Young Satz in room. I'd normally go in - but I have run out of words.
I was really tired so just had tea & watched some telly.

I'm so glad you didn't go into him Benjy - you say like you 'normally' did... well there is nothing normal about what he is doing - alcoholic or not - I certainly knew what I was doing most of the time - nobody is drunk as a skunk 24/7 - before he picked up his 1st 2nd or 3rd drink of the day - he KNEW what he was doing to his family - especially you two - cos he's living with you - and has been cossetted and minded like an infant.. he really really needs to realise the consequence of his MOST 'unnormal' actions....
Do you not get enraged when you read of court cases where someone's plea in their defence of assault/robbery/murder even - is that they were drunk? Well that is how enraged you should feel at how you are being treated.. I KNOW that's harsh - and I KNOW I'm probably going to come in for some grief here for saying this - but he's been through a system that has taught him about how his addiction affects his loved ones.. he's not unaware - and he's NOT helpless - until he picks up that first drink... just my tuppence worth - said with genuine love and care

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

and now - if anyone is still talking to me

GOOD MORNING

Still does my heart good to hear you talking like that Tabbers - you are so far away from the source of your addiction now that as long as you feel like that you will just go from strength to strength - no longer would alcohol feel like the 'go to' thing for any sensory sensation... really happy to hear it - and you deserve it - you've worked so hard for this..
#
And Tony - jaysus that was some snooze -- haha - certainly an easy way to get through Day 7 ;-)!!
Hope you're feeling better Jackie and hi to all else... xx

[rustop59]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

Good morning everyone. What a wonderful description Tabs, really sums it all up, says she who has been sitting up in bed crocheting all morning :happy2: of course we are all talking to you Molly and value your advice. Hope you feeling better JC. Nothing much planned for today but that’s ok.

[IamMary]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

Good morning!!
Well said Tabbers... and Molly, totally agree with you. When we were jurors on a murder case, this particular judge was very clear that we could not accept alcoholism and drug addiction as a defence. Although they tried. Was made more complicated as one of the jurors totally empathised with the defendant, but your could smell the alcohol from him as soon as he walked in.
That experience made me cop on.

[IamMary]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

Good morning everyone. What a wonderful description Tabs, really sums it all up, says she who has been sitting up in bed crocheting all morning :happy2: of course we are all talking to you Molly and value your advice. Hope you feeling better JC. Nothing much planned for today but that’s ok.

Morning Rustop, missed you there.
Just having a cup of tea here (in bed). But no head or guilt or desire for a cure, as Tabbers puts it so well.

[stirly-girly]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

Good morning Army and a sober Sunday to all!!!

First of all - huge congratulations to Tony and RC. One week under your belts. Great job! Of course it is understood that my congratulations are for any and all who may be reading this and are on day one or day one million. Each day we're sober is an accomplishment to be proud of. It's been said over and over but it is so true!!!

Jackie - hope you're feeling better - ear infection can lead to all sorts of complications so be careful - you may need an antibiotic. Just saying so from experience, my dear.

Tabbers - I've got Adele singing in the background and I always think of you when I hear her. I know she is a favourite of yours. As always, it's so great to see your continued sobriety but also your perspective on what life can be and is without AL in the picture.

I'm so glad you didn't go into him Benjy - you say like you 'normally' did... well there is nothing normal about what he is doing - alcoholic or not - I certainly knew what I was doing most of the time - nobody is drunk as a skunk 24/7 - before he picked up his 1st 2nd or 3rd drink of the day - he KNEW what he was doing to his family - especially you two - cos he's living with you - and has been cossetted and minded like an infant.. he really really needs to realise the consequence of his MOST 'unnormal' actions....
Do you not get enraged when you read of court cases where someone's plea in their defence of assault/robbery/murder even - is that they were drunk? Well that is how enraged you should feel at how you are being treated.. I KNOW that's harsh - and I KNOW I'm probably going to come in for some grief here for saying this - but he's been through a system that has taught him about how his addiction affects his loved ones.. he's not unaware - and he's NOT helpless - until he picks up that first drink... just my tuppence worth - said with genuine love and care

Joe forgave me time and time again and it wasn't until I truly knew I was on my last chance that I woke up to reality - unknown to himself he had been shielding me for years with forgiveness? Just a thought-

Satzy - my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine what it would be like to have to deal with a child with an addiction. I have to say tho' after reading Molly's posts that I agree with what she has said. Forgiveness time and time again is enabling and sometimes we need to use the tough love approach to help our loved ones, rather than take them back under our wings. Young Satz recognizes his addiction, he's been to detox and has given the tools to work with. He can't be in denial that he has a problem so my guess is that he's counting on others to pick up the pieces whenever he f's up. Sorry for being so blunt. I know it would be devastating to not know where my addicted son/daughter was if they weren't in my home. I was going to say child but young Satz is no longer a child and is 100% responsible for his actions. Every single thing we do, except for breathing, is our decision and when he makes the decision to pick up that first drink, he and only he is responsible for the outcome and he needs to realize that his actions will no longer be tolerated. How much can parents/siblings/partners take? We are only responsible for our offspring up to a certain point. After that, they are responsible. I know it's terribly difficult but IMVHO, you need to step back and let him fall all the way down to the bottom. I hope I have not overstepped by coming here and saying what I have said when I am not a regular poster. But know that you are in my thoughts and I am sending you strength and hope that he will not only see the affect of his drinking on you and his family, but that he will finally say - enough is enough and mean it. I just have to reiterate again what Molly said - as long as we enable, the problem will still be there. Wishing all the best for all of you.

Younger son and family are arriving back from two weeks in Canada in just 5 hours. I've got a ton of food cooked and am off to fill their fridge and then head to the airport. They are the parents of our grandsons - one 7+ years and the other 13 months. Can't wait to hug my boys - I've missed them greatly. Mind they did have a wonderful time with my family in Canada and I know my Mom was delighted to have 2 of her great grandchildren visiting and her grandson she hadn't seen for almost 13 years!!

A big Hello! to all of you I haven't mentioned. Hope everyone has an enjoyable Sunday.

P.S. Molly - how is the wee lassie??

[starty]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

Good morning all. Lovely to see the ole army all a buzzin with lots of faces old and new!

Satzy my heart goes out to you. It must be excrutiatingly tough. I do agree with your stance to ignore him. That is what I would do. I am kind of a one or two chance type person then it is all bets are off. I was like that with my dad. Yes I have some regrets but he was old enough to make his own decisions and likely wiser than I was at the time. He probably had his own reasons for acting like he did too. But ultimately it was his choice to do what he did and not take the help that was there or look for something more suitable. In the same vein with myself.

Anyway, I am on day 13 clean and sober once again. This has to be my last ever time. I reached a new low with depression and felt suicidal. I had not felt that low since 2008 when I joined here all those years ago. So although I have had extended time of no alcohol over the years I have not had extended time without opiates and that is my nemesis, right now more so than the alcohol.

Soooooo, day 13, the start of something new. I have been through the most horrendous withdrawal period imaginable and wished myself dead but that is mostly behind me now other than PAWS and I am doing a few different things to help me. Sorry for the big waffle. I had no plans to write all that, I was just gonna say HI!

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

Morning Mary and Rusters!
Well wow -- hello Stirly and Starty.. was nearly afraid to show my face here again cos I reckon I've probably (AGAIN) spoken out of turn... but here I am - proverbial bad penny and glad I am to see you two... Stirly - both babies are wonderful - Éabha is almost 5 months old and she was down with us last night - she is THE happiest baby on the planet - like her daddy used to be - (wish he was still as smiley!!!) and baby Matilda is 6 weeks and thriving.. so all is well..
Didn't realise you were struggling Starty - thought when you left the last time you'd picked up from your previous .... I'm so glad you are here now tho and the worst of the withdrawals behind you... I'd imagine appalling withdrawals have to be a nice wee tool to have in your toolbox against a relapse? My alcohol withdrawals were never that bad so 3 days sober it felt like I'd almost never had a drink at all with the exception of anxiety which I thought was my norm... thankfully now I know it's not.... good time of year to start picking up the pieces

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

Morning,
Blooming heck its busy this morning and I likes it.

For a start welcome home, [MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION].

Mr JC's often told me that intoxication/alcoholism can't be used as a defense. Just had a quick google to see if I could find anything that puts its simply............there's reams of stuff if you fancy an afternoon of reading or I could hire Mr JC out to give you a lecture........he's pretty cheap £50 an hour to friends and free teas and biscuits.

You're telling it like it is,Molls. @Satz.............I honestly hope AJ can see past his beer goggles and see the friendships that are built up in AA. Its not just meeting after meeting...............there'll be a 1001 things he can do rather than drink in fact he could fill his days...........I look at the lads that come into the rooms where I work and they're playing footie, scuba diving, surfing, golfing you name it there'll be a group for it. There's 4 of them doing a cordon-blue cookery course. Outside the meetings is where the gossip is.....a quick who fancies a coffee will bring at least half a dozen hands up.............and you know in my opinion that's where the real recovery starts................its not a competition to see who can be sober the longest or the quickest............honest friendships are made. Good grief look at us lot think the only thing you don't know about me is my pin number or bra size.

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

Molly, ya daft bat........... its your opinion and a valuable one at that and I know its humble.

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

And wanted to say good mornig to Tabbers, Satz,Tony, Jude, Mollyoo, Rustletops, Mers, Cirly Wirly Stirly Girly, Starterooooo, and all those yet to come.
Just how long is it since this many people have checked in?

[Rusty]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

Good Morning, Army Colleagues!:happy2:

Jackie-I hope you are feeling better.

Just wanted to pop in and say, HELLLOOOO!!!

[starty]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

Morning Mary and Rusters!
Well wow -- hello Stirly and Starty.. was nearly afraid to show my face here again cos I reckon I've probably (AGAIN) spoken out of turn... but here I am - proverbial bad penny and glad I am to see you two... Stirly - both babies are wonderful - Éabha is almost 5 months old and she was down with us last night - she is THE happiest baby on the planet - like her daddy used to be - (wish he was still as smiley!!!) and baby Matilda is 6 weeks and thriving.. so all is well..
Didn't realise you were struggling Starty - thought when you left the last time you'd picked up from your previous .... I'm so glad you are here now tho and the worst of the withdrawals behind you... I'd imagine appalling withdrawals have to be a nice wee tool to have in your toolbox against a relapse? My alcohol withdrawals were never that bad so 3 days sober it felt like I'd almost never had a drink at all with the exception of anxiety which I thought was my norm... thankfully now I know it's not.... good time of year to start picking up the pieces

Wow a double Granny Many congratulations Molly! Are they living nearby so you get to see them often?

Its funny, when you want to use you conveniently forget the WDs that come with it or the need is so desperate that for the minute you dont care. This time they caused such a dangerous depression. I think when we last spoke I had been through a bad time but as we all know each one gets worse and worse. Last year was a tough one for a number of different reasons. Diagnosed with arthritis (excuse to use) stress (excuse to use) and all the normal day to day stuff that we all deal with.

I have joined a specific opiate recovery group which does help, I have had a raft of blood tests which results should be with me next week. Mr S has also been through a depression and I found empty bottles in his briefcase before Christmas. That was a HUGE wake up call for both of us. Never known him like that. So now we are trying to put ourselves back together and lead healthier lives.

Thanks for the welcome back JC. Always has been comfortable coming home Wish we had a place like yours nearby that I dared venture into as it does sound wonderful

[RunningCourage]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

Och, it's grand that it's so busy - like old times :yay:

All good here - bust though, as having to do work for me masters and it's taking up time.

Last night was fine - eventually.

Write more laters. Big waves.

Oh, and Molls - yer advice is sage - please don't apologise for it.

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-January 2018

Howdy Jacks - hope you're feeling a wee bit better? and lovely rusty - how're you? Get into them books Arsey it'll keep you off the streets!
Yes Starty - two wee babies - Éabha lives virtually around the corner - and at the moment wee Matilda is living with us - but shortly to move into an apartment beside us -- best of both worlds that really - and of course my two little grandsons are just a few miles away - tbh I thought they'd be all scattered to the four winds by now but......????
Yes - withdrawals are the last thing on our minds when that 'I MUST' moment hits us... didn't think I'd any way back once I got that far... now of course I can trust the 'wave' -- not that it happens these days - but... who knows... tomorrow could be the day.. sorry to hear himself has also succumbed to bottles hidden - that definitely is a wake up call and presumably you'll be great support for each other....
Have to head off down the country now to a funeral -- I RARELY go to them -- HATE them - but this is a Mam of a close work colleague and I'd be the worst in the world - so talk later folks xxx