One Step at a Time - January 2018

[Seeker1]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

So I'm just going to write this. Don't know if it will help anyone or not. I just want to tell you that it gets so much easier. It took me so many day 1's that I lost count. But, I have not had a drink of alcohol in almost 2-1/2 years. I was the one that couldn't string more than a day or two together.
Yesterday I was having crazy alcohol thoughts! As if I was being deprived because I couldn't have a drink. Several times during the day I would have a random alcohol thought. And, it was always followed by the immediate 'poor me' thought. But, I was able to analyze it for what it is. I wanted alcohol to numb the part of me that is unhappy. When I thought about actually sitting down at a table and having the glass of champagne, I followed it with the reality. Several glasses later, the voice woken up inside of me that wants more & more & more. The headache, the unsteadiness, the guilt, the CRAVING for more. I don't ever want to do that to myself again. I came to MWO because I needed to stop drinking. I didn't want to stop drinking. I wanted to be able to have a drink. Why? Why do I want to have a drink? I can't think of one good reason. I can think of a page full of reasons not to drink. But I can't think of a good reason to take a drink.
Sigh - I am not making sense. I just want to say that it's just a thought. And as the days go by, that voice so rarely comes out. And when it does, you can see it for what it is.

I really appreciate this NoraC, as it resembles much of my path. Your sharing brings me hope. If I was still fighting this fight alone thinking I was actually alone like before, well, hope only lasts so long without the support of others on the same journey. I hope I'm making sense! Also this was my first time trying to use a comment with a quote so if it comes out screwed up I apologize! Take care...

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

Good Morning and Welcome, [MENTION=24107]Seeker1[/MENTION]!. Stick with us...we are a supportive bunch!

Nora-fantastic post! Thanks!

I am doing just a bit better. Talked to a couple friends yesterday who know my mom and let them know she was moving to assisted-living. SIGH. I know it's the best thing for her.

Much work to do before I make the long commute to work.

Happy Monday, Everyone!

[NoSugar]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

So I'm just going to write this. Don't know if it will help anyone or not. I just want to tell you that it gets so much easier. It took me so many day 1's that I lost count. But, I have not had a drink of alcohol in almost 2-1/2 years. I was the one that couldn't string more than a day or two together.
Yesterday I was having crazy alcohol thoughts! As if I was being deprived because I couldn't have a drink. Several times during the day I would have a random alcohol thought. And, it was always followed by the immediate 'poor me' thought. But, I was able to analyze it for what it is. I wanted alcohol to numb the part of me that is unhappy. When I thought about actually sitting down at a table and having the glass of champagne, I followed it with the reality. Several glasses later, the voice woken up inside of me that wants more & more & more. The headache, the unsteadiness, the guilt, the CRAVING for more. I don't ever want to do that to myself again. I came to MWO because I needed to stop drinking. I didn't want to stop drinking. I wanted to be able to have a drink. Why? Why do I want to have a drink? I can't think of one good reason. I can think of a page full of reasons not to drink. But I can't think of a good reason to take a drink.
Sigh - I am not making sense. I just want to say that it's just a thought. And as the days go by, that voice so rarely comes out. And when it does, you can see it for what it is.

It is crazy how that voice can be silent for a long time and then pop up for no obvious reason, isn't it? A year or so ago I went so far as to throw one of those mini bottles of wine in the bin at the checkout lane onto the belt and bought it!! I put it in a cupboard when I got home and pretty much forgot about it. It wasn't until I saw it later that I really thought about what was going on and decided this is why I need to proactively make sure I remember why I don't drink. Participating here certainly does that.

I've been reading more about smart phone "addiction" and I think the term is accurate in the sense that many of us use them more than we want or intend to. It would be tough to take the abstinence route but I think there are really compelling reasons to moderate:
Your smartphone is making you stupid, antisocial and unhealthy. So why can’t you put it down? - The Globe and Mail
There is a link in that article explaining how to gray your phone, making it less stimulating and rewarding. While I don't feel like I'm affected by the bright colors, I'm going to give it a try (while suspecting it might be as effective as my plan to switch from my beloved red to gross white wine. Which is to say - NOT AT ALL!).

Rusty, I hope the move turns out to be one of those unexpected blessings for your mom.

[dill]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

[MENTION=1214]Rusty[/MENTION], I am sorry you and your mom are going thru this rough transition, but I'm sure she is grateful to be doing it with the support of her children. Change is hard (as we here all well know!) but I think this move is the right one for her and I want to offer you my support. :hug: My experiences with assisted living facilities have been positive for the most part. My parents had to make the transition many years ago and it was very tough. But once they settled in they found it was right for them! Life is change. The option of moving closer to me so I could assist them or even make room for them here with us was ruled out because they had their friends in that area and did not want to leave them. So they chose assisted living and it really was good for them.
Thinking of you, and keeping you and your Mom in my prayers.

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

[MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION]:heartbeat:thank you for your kind post. I know assisted-living for my mom is the right move. Yes, please keep us in your prayers. I owe you a PM. When I get a break, I will PM you later in the day. Thank you for always being in my corner.

[dolphincat]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

Happy New Year Jackie,

I joined here in October 2017. Have only made a comment recently which was to Baclofenman. I notice you too are in the UK - as am I.

I am finding this site a bit confusing and also notice that the chat room has been empty for over 12 hours, is this because a lot of folk are outside the UK?

How can I chat (say to you) from time to time. I don't know how long you have been alcohol free (hope you are), but I need some help. I am currently prescribed Baclofen and Accamprosate and due to see a nurse this Friday (19th Jan). Just wanted to ask about how I can convince them to increase my dosage of one or both? Best wishes, Dolphincat

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

[MENTION=24057]dolphincat[/MENTION]-Welcome! You might get a better answer if you post this question on the Meds Forum here or on this website: The End Of My Addiction | Forum Discussing Alcohol Medication.
This website specializes in meds to treat alcoholism. [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION] has been AF for many years now.:happy2: The chat room here has been quiet for quite some time and I don't know why.

[NoSugar]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

The chat room here has been quiet for quite some time and I don't know why.

I've heard that it used to be a lot of fun. I wonder why it died off. When I looked at other Stop Drinking websites, Chat seemed to be an active window at the top of the forum homepage. The one here is kind of buried. I'm impressed you found it, [MENTION=24057]dolphincat[/MENTION]!

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

[MENTION=24057]dolphincat[/MENTION] - welcome. I don't have experience with Bac so I can't help you. I hope that you can get someone can help you. Thanks Rusty for posting that link.

Has anyone heard from Pauly yet???

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

Rusty - long commute today?

NS - Your story about buying the wine has stuck with me all this time. I am so grateful that you shared that story. Because you shared that when it happened, I have paid attention if I get wobbly. So, thank you again :hug:

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

ActionGirl - how's it going?

I see that Kell hasn't been induced yet. Think it's going to happen tonight. Sending good thoughts, Pauly.

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

So excited to hear about the baby, Pauly!

Nora-yes, long commute today but staying at a hotel tonight because I have to fly out to Idaho for work tomorrow afternoon.

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

Hey everyone!
Pauly, waiting to hear how everything is going?
Rusty, enjoy your time in Idaho. One of these days I hope to get out to the central part of this country, just to see what it's all about.
Hubby and Mark are going to Utah next month to do some skiing. I'm staying home this time.
Went to pick up CJ and joes wedding albums today. They are beautiful!
We are due for some snow tonight. Every channel is forecasting something different. My office manager called and asked it I could drive her to work. Her husband works right here by my house. No pressure there, right? It's way closer commute than it used to be but it's still snow.

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

Little Romeo was born this afternoon! 7 lbs 5 oz 20 inches long

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

@Paulywogg - Congratulations