One Step at a Time - January 2018

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

That's cute how Erin fixed a Santa hat for that one.
[MENTION=21990]actiongirl46[/MENTION] - glad that you are back. How has the drinking been going?

[actiongirl46]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

Hi all! Day 1 again is in the books. Nora, its just been going and going and going, that's the problem. Hubs is sick of it. My fear is that this is more his idea than mine, so I thought I'd better get back here quick and settle in. Anyway, we are not in a good place, I'm not sure what I want, but I don't need to worry about that today.

Today was relatively easy to get, I am sure tomorrow and the rest of the week will be much harder. I have my ice cream : ) and all AL is out of the house. More to come!!

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

Hey AG - maybe you are being forced into this. But, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I was forced into it when my sneaking was discovered. Maybe this was the push you needed. I remember a post you made after a very bad incident. You do want this whether you remember that at this moment or not. You really do want this. :heartbeat:

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

A great post by Belle - Tired of Thinking about Drinking

What I know now (that I didn’t know then) is that no matter how high or low our drinking bottom is – DUI or jail or rehab or lost marriage or lost opportunity or wasted time – we share these things:

1. we drink more than we want to
2. we think about drinking way, way too much (before, during and after)
3. we find it hard or impossible to moderate (I’ll just have one glass, ha!)
4. we’re online or reading books about how other people have reduced, quit, attempted moderation, become sober – we’re doing quitting drinking research (I am not the only one who’s done one of those “do you drink too much” online surveys)

That’s it. Does this list of four things make you an alcoholic? Who cares. If we have glasses of wine a night, or bottles of wine a night, this list of four things still applies to us. Routinely drink more than we should, decide to quit or to reduce but then are soon planning when to drink again and how it should happen and how much it’ll be, a lot of bargaining with ourselves trying to set rules or situations where it’ll be OK to have some, and we lurk around sober tools online or we read a book or two.

[actiongirl46]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

Great post Nora!! Thank you, so true. For today, I am here, ready and able to tackle Day 2. Have a great day Steppers and I'll check in tonight :love:

[allswell]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

Hi Nora and et al,

I Second Action Girl's post from yesterday. Been awhile since I've been around this place but need some support to get back on a positive footing. Health and happiness needs to replace drinking and feeling horrible.

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

AG and allswell, so glad to have you here. You may be pressured to do something about it, but deep down we know it is a problem, I was just so tired of the self loathing and shame. I like myself better sober. It's not always easy, but it's so worth it! Hang out with us here and let us be your support. I know more about drinking then I would ever care to admit. :hug: AG if you still have my number call me or pm me if you would like. I'm here if you need me.

How is everyone else doing? Monday just flew! Busy day at work, but I guess it is flu season! Now they're saying on the news that the vaccine is only 10% effective? Really?
Wishing you all a peaceful AF night!

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

[MENTION=11419]allswell[/MENTION] - good to see you back too! Your line about health & happiness is so right on. Just like Liz said - not having the self loathing anymore. Fighting the cravings to get past it is so worth it. :heartbeat:

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

Liz - I heard on the news on my way home from work that it is bad here in California. Some of the pharmacies ran out of the Tamiflu. Having to get more in.

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

[ATTACH=CONFIG]4010[/ATTACH
Picture of the deer with the broken antlers. Erin made the hat for him!

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

Liz - how cute that is!!!

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

AG & Allswell - just hope that you'll stick close. Post what you're feeling/thinking. If you are craving, then say so. If you are mad, then say so. Letting yourself just be & get thru this is so important. Do what you need to do for you. I certainly don't have all the answers but I do off lots of support.

Woke up at around 3:30 or 4:00 this morning and went to the restroom. Came back to bed and stepped on a pair of glasses and broke them. I laid there for a couple hours thinking I had broken mine. Turns out that they were hubby's. He had left his glasses on the bed and they fell to the floor. He has needed a new pair for a couple years so now he has to. Then we snapped at each other this morning. Not a great day at work. Then get an e-mail from hubby that Mom had slipped out of her chair onto the floor. He was out of the room and when he came back in, she was sitting on the floor leaning against the couch sound asleep. This all happened in a matter of 15 minutes. She is fine, thank goodness. She just slides down so far in the chair that she slid out onto the floor. :egad: We've got rain. We can use the rain but the places where the fire was so bad are now having to worry about flooding.

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

OH no Nora. When it rains it pours, and honestly, no pun was intended!

[actiongirl46]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

Hi all, thanks for the support, I really appreciate it. Nora, sorry about your bad day, wow! I was thinking about your mom and hoping she was still hanging in there, sounds like that is the case.

Liz, I do still have your number. I'll look forward to catching up.

I called a friend of mine tonight who has been sober for a few years. She knows my struggle and it was good to talk to her. My biggest problem right now is my mind starts to do the "this can't be forever" . . . "what is happening" . . . "I just need one to (calm down, relax, sleep, whatever). I know its a One Day At A Time thing and I'm trying but its awful hard to not think ahead. Especially since I wasn't really planning on this, it happened fast.

So, that's what's going on. It feels depressing, not joyful to be getting my health back. Ok, enough! I really like to read how some of the vets say you will never regret it. I need to hear that now.

Day 2 is in the books. I am thankful for that. Onward!

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2018

All I can say is that I never want to take another drink. I have had nightmares where I drank again.

I went on for years even after there would be some horrible event where I had done something else while drunk.......oh, I'd stop for a while......even a few months.....but it was always in my head. A little voice inside trying to tell me that I didn't have a problem, I wasn't that bad, oh I'll just moderate, I'll only drink on the weekends, I'll only have one. That voice NEVER shut up. It was always there, somewhere, whispering to me.

I never want to have that voice in my head again. Oh, it will try to speak up once in a while. But, it's just an annoying little buzz that I'm able to block out. It is so worth it to just deal with it now. Get rid of the voice for once and all. If you don't feed the voice, it goes away. It really does.

I wish that I could show you how much better my life is now. No matter what is going on, not having to deal with alcohol makes it all ok.

Some thoughts........how many bad times have happened because of alcohol? How many dangerous - even life-threatening - events have happened because of alcohol? I mean really think about the scary, awful things. How many fights have escalated because of alcohol? How many times have I promised myself to do better? How many times have I let myself down?
I used to wake up and just feel so disgusted with myself. Now, I can wake up without regrets. It has been so great to be finding myself again.

Hang in there. Keep the 'plug in the jug' :heartbeat: