Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

[Crusader]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Rusty, I am not sure if I should be posting in this section called the army, but I am a Crusader and will add a reply to you. I lost two of the closest people to me in 2017. One of them was my mom. Your post caught my eye as I've been lurking on and off for a few weeks. You are so right to spend as much time as you can with her now. There is something horrible about losing your mom beyond words that can truly express how painful it can be and the piece of a person that gets cut out from within your being. I assume you are close by your posts as I was very close to mine. She was my rock. So yes, hug her, love her and tell her everything you need to now. My heart is with you as one who has recently experienced this pain plus. I am on day 5 of my second try this year to stop drinking. I am not new to using alcohol to deal with issues, but this one had me going even deeper into trouble. I just didn't care anymore. I'm trying to care about living again. I don't know where your alcohol journey is, but something like this can really test you.

[Rusty]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

[MENTION=24140]Crusader[/MENTION], I am so sorry about the loss of your mom, and welcome to MWO! I have been sober for a number of years now but I still have a lot of regret because my drinking forced my family to do an intervention, with them pushing me to go to inpatient rehab in October, 2008. I refused. I have spent the last several years making up for the lost time and the pain I caused my mother when my drinking got so out of control. My sobriety has given my siblings and mom the relief in knowing that I am reliable, and available to help her or spend time with her when she needs/wants to do so. Yes, my mom and I are very, very close. I love her more than anyone else in the world and even though this transition has been sad and stressful, drinking has never occurred to me.

Good job on wanting to quit drinking and start living again. People forget the highly depressant nature of alcohol. I was stupid enough to think that that rule did not apply to ME...was my deluded, in-denial attitude when my drinking was at its worst. You know AL's not the answer. Stick with us. We are a friendly and helpful bunch.

[rustop59]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Welcome Crusader and well done on starting your alcohol free life. Delighted to hear your Mom has settled Rusty. You have brought her joy your whole life, the drinking phase was just a blip. Bet she’s so glad to have the real you back all these years that it is a distant memory. Enjoy the here and now with her.

Just in from work so need to get food and have a read back. Hard to keep up with you lot

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Welcome Crusader and hey again the Two Rusts!!!
The time my mum was ill (10 years ago now) and then died was the hardest time in my life - I adored my mum but we lost her gradually through a type of dementia brought on by her brain being deprived of oxygen... the awful time was accompanied by family fall outs (which have never been rectified) and subsequently losing the whole of my side of the family. I drank through all of this.
Despite treatment and counselling - when I'm rational I do believe that I didn't bring all of that part down on my head.... there was a lot else at play -- but when I am less rational... I reckon I made mistakes - said things - didn't say things- ignored things - didn't ignore things.... etc... BECAUSE I was drinking and my judgement may not have always been up to scratch..
Bottom line - I don't really forgive myself for drinking then... so Rusty - you have given your mum the greatest gift possible - a good kind rational sober daughter she can trust to the Nth degree... be proud!
Sorry you've been through similar Crusader - but it's wonderful you are here fighting the good fight xx

[RunningCourage]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Evening troopers,

Welcome Crusader, as Rusty says we are helpful and nice.

(not to mention, effin feckin bonkers)

And sorry to hear about yer maw, but this is grand place to let rip about stuff in yer life. We're humans with lives and lives are beautiful and tough things to experience and negotiate.

Not much to report this end... tho bit peeved as I got a valuation on my flat in Aberdeen which comes in at £5K less than what I bought it for 9 years ago.

But not going to worry about that tonight. Got to get through this week with being back at the new school tomorrow and new kids to get to know/discipline

Hope you've had a good tuesday.

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Evening Army - yiz are most likely all in bed.

I find the whole Dementia / Memory loss confusing.
My mother's short term memory is very bad (but we are all getting used to it.) The word Dementia has never been used - but we just assumed that is what we were dealing with - so that's what we call it. It's been described to us as a range of issues associated with a decline in memory severe enough to reduce a person's ability to perform everyday activities.

The hospital has never specifically named it either but there are so many forms of memory loss under the dementia umbrella - they are reluctant to name it. And they do not know the cause.
All we know is it's not Alzheimer's Disease

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

You have brought her joy your whole life, the drinking phase was just a blip. Bet she’s so glad to have the real you back all these years that it is a distant memory. Enjoy the here and now with her.

Lovely Rustop !!

[IamMary]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

And Mers - on the wrinkle front - come back to me my lovely in 20 years time :haha:

I never said I liked them on me!

Even though I've been sober a good while, I still need to work on myself. Even though I try hard, I still tend to project a negative outcome when there is a major change or something challenging in my life. I must avoid this at all costs. It was a huge trigger for my drinking.

Your mam sounds like she in a great place Rusty, well done you. Your right about continuing to work on yourself, don't think we should ever take our eye off the ball, its just not worth the risk, is it!

Welcome [MENTION=24140]Crusader[/MENTION]..stick around, day 5 can be 50 and then 500 before you know it. How are you feeling?

Tony, thats shocking altogether, imagine having a hangover in work! :haha:
I jest, I do know where your coming from.. completely unprofessional and dangerous. But, its NOT you..thats a bit brilliant :sohappy:

[Crusader]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

I loved reading all the replies in the threads I posted to, and give you all a big thank you and hug for taking the time to respond to them. I am very very tired, so I will postpone a proper reply until I feel more rested. Tomorrow will be day 6, and I wanted to be sure I let you all know I appreciate your words. They deserve a better response than I can muster up currently.

[RunningCourage]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Quick pop in - gotta run,

Crusader it'll be day 7 today? A week - good stuff :thumbsup:

Satz - my maw (uber-energetic sprightly spring chicken all of 72 years) repeats stories each time i speak to her. It's the sort of thing we all do, but have noticed it's more regular with her - only slightly, but still noticeable. Not dementia.... but can't help but think if it's the beginning of something that in 5, 10 years time may become more pronounced.

May be over analysing though!

Late!!!!!!!

[rustop59]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

I loved reading all the replies in the threads I posted to, and give you all a big thank you and hug for taking the time to respond to them. I am very very tired, so I will postpone a proper reply until I feel more rested. Tomorrow will be day 6, and I wanted to be sure I let you all know I appreciate your words. They deserve a better response than I can muster up currently.

Stick around Crusader. There is great banter and fun but also solid advice and guidance when necessary. Morning everyone else. Not working today so having a catch up day. Stripping beds and putting stuff away. Have had people here Xmas so place needs a good once over.

Going to walk the doggies first though. Nice brisk walk in the woods what better way to start the day.

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Quick pop in - gotta run,

Crusader it'll be day 7 today? A week - good stuff :thumbsup:

Satz - my maw (uber-energetic sprightly spring chicken all of 72 years) repeats stories each time i speak to her. It's the sort of thing we all do, but have noticed it's more regular with her - only slightly, but still noticeable. Not dementia.... but can't help but think if it's the beginning of something that in 5, 10 years time may become more pronounced.

May be over analysing though!

Late!!!!!!!

Well Arsey - I've noticed Joe is a bit repetitive - and more forgetful than he was - and he's only 65 - I put it down to retirement and not having to think of running a business - but...... yes - it does worry me a bit - the thought of losing any of 'him' terrifies me - I give out the friggin PAY about him sometimes (lots of times!!!) but I do love him dearly - probably more now than I did 40 years ago ffs!!!

Keep gathering up those days under your belt Crusader.. each of them is a treasure - and if you are having a tough day - that's a good day - that's one of the BEST days in early sobriety - cos every one of those 'tough' days you navigate soberly - arms you for the next one - which will be JUST that bit less tough because you've been armed --- it's a magic formula - play to the formula and before you know it.... the weeks/months are piling up...

and then -- THEN - comes the TRULY magic day - and it's not years away - it comes surprisingly quickly - when you realise you are going to bed and you haven't thought all day about a drink -- not once....

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Well Arsey - I've noticed Joe is a bit repetitive - and more forgetful than he was - and he's only 65 - I put it down to retirement and not having to think of running a business - but...... yes - it does worry me a bit - the thought of losing any of 'him' terrifies me - I give out the friggin PAY about him sometimes (lots of times!!!) but I do love him dearly - probably more now than I did 40 years ago ffs!!!

Keep gathering up those days under your belt Crusader.. each of them is a treasure - and if you are having a tough day - that's a good day - that's one of the BEST days in early sobriety - cos every one of those 'tough' days you navigate soberly - arms you for the next one - which will be JUST that bit less tough because you've been armed --- it's a magic formula - play to the formula and before you know it.... the weeks/months are piling up...

and then -- THEN - comes the TRULY magic day - and it's not years away - it comes surprisingly quickly - when you realise you are going to bed and you haven't thought all day about a drink -- not once....

Lovely post Molls - Joe's a lucky man :hug:
I think we do take them for granted in the early years - but the thought of living without them IS terrifying.
I've become very introverted recently - if it weren't for him I'd never mix with anyone - only family. I'd better be nice today I suppose :egad:

Been thinking a lot about that recently ..... cancelling coffee / lunch arrangement with people I haven't seen for ages. Is that part of dealing with young Satz ?

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

[MENTION=24140]Crusader[/MENTION].......a big :welcome: to you. Nice to see you're working your way around the boards. Pull up a comfy chair and settle in.

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION].......it could be. With all the fuss and carry on with Jenny & the S&H I'm having to force myself out of the house and I do feel betterish. Tbh I posted last night and then deleted it........I never do that. It only said that I was dull and unethusiastic.......but its how I'm feeling. Everytime the phone rings my heart lurches......

As for repeating yourself.........my stories are so good they're worth repeating.

[tonyniceday]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Hi [MENTION=24140]Crusader[/MENTION]
Welcome to the army and congratulations on reaching day 6...tomorrow will be your full week and by then most of the physical detox is done...maybe a small amount still to go but my advice (remembering that tomorrow I will be only 7 weeks in myself, although I have some reasonable af periods in the past) my advice is to remember ...

"Alcohol addiction is 40% drinking, and 60% thinking"

I would suggest you set yourself very short goals right now...like getting to double figures...3 days to go. Then maybe set 2 weeks, 4 days later...and so on.

Whilst doing that, still just set the immediate goal of today only...see my signature line....I look at that every day because it works fo me!

Also, it doesn't matter which thread you are on, we'll give you all the support you need here but you might want to also look at 2 others... the newbies nest roll call, where you can check in every day and see your af days building, and each Sunday Jc's Super Sunday Shoutout where you can see the weeks building every weekend.

I currently have a ,until now, secret aim, to get through to 28th April when I am going on holiday to Mexico .... honestly I don't know if I'll get through that holiday without a drink, or even, if I'm truly honest, whether I want to !!!

None the less that is my mid term goal right now, my short term one is 60 days, less than a fortnight away now!

Anyway, any advice you need, or achievements you want to share, tell us and we will help and celebrate with you

We're with you ALL the way:congratulatory: