Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Evening folks - not long home.. just wondering how things are now Benjy?

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Can I ask - has he stated that he wants to quit? Or is it just that you hope he wants to? I'm not being smart here but I don't know where he is in all of this? If you ring the headquarters of AA they have a helpline as far as I know who may advise what to do next? Just a thought xxx

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Can I ask - has he stated that he wants to quit? Or is it just that you hope he wants to? I'm not being smart here but I don't know where he is in all of this? If you ring the headquarters of AA they have a helpline as far as I know who may advise what to do next? Just a thought xxx

That's a good point..........we're all planning his detox while although he's as miserable as sin may want to carry on for a while.

Anyhoo found the General office number for AA Ireland............. Contact Us | Alcoholics Anonymous

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Lovely afternoon with Aunt, cousin who brought two of her kids, a second cousin and two maniac dogs. Loads of laughter.

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Hi Jacks - good you had a nice afternoon, does the heart good! Just finished watching McMafia on the tele... it was very good actually - the wee apt in nearly ready - one more night of electrics to be done by Joey and then it's the big move in.... Jilly's in Sligo and started her work placement today so that went well - so not a bad day

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

She'll be back in theworld of grown ups.
Jenny starts her placement nexxt week in the village she used to live in with the ex. Should be interesting.

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

I've given him a few beers to keep him at home.
Harm reduction - it's all I could think of. He was shaking like a leaf ......
He reckons he'll sleep tonight and be ok in the morning ..... we'll see.
Detox Clinics here seem to be only on a paying basis from what I can see..... and I ain't paying out any more of the money I worked 20 years for :shakingno:

Thanks for the AA number ladies - I'll ring tomorrow.
I have to do all I can because the next step is to pack his bag.... Mr S & I have both agreed we will not live like this indefinitely.
A blame game has started between us ....

[RunningCourage]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Evening troopers -

Satz, I know one night aint gonna change the world but I do have my fingers and toes crossed that when he gets up tomorrow something inside of him may have changed for the positive.

Spent most of today working around my Masters. Emailed me mentor - very lovely lady, t-total it think too - to say i need a kick up the japsy with my dissertation. She suggested a to do list with nice easy things as well as work things on it. Like lunch and showering. So that has been good to see I've done something. (I did more than eat and shower!)

Now, though, to bed. Hope yis all have a sound sleep.

[IamMary]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Evening,
God no Satz, you have to have a cut off point.. you have been beyond fair, beyond patient - where is it going to end? He is making a choice here. There's no right answer as to what your next move should be, but you cant live like this. What happens if he gets sober for a month and you decide to go on holidays for a week - do you trust that he wont drink? It probably boils down to where his head is at, as Molls and JC said.. Will he give everything he has to this or is he just trying to get you and Mr S off his back.

[IamMary]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Great minds post at exactly the same time [MENTION=18049]RunningCourage[/MENTION] (I made that up

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Evening,
God no Satz, you have to have a cut off point.. you have been beyond fair, beyond patient - where is it going to end? He is making a choice here. There's no right answer as to what your next move should be, but you cant live like this. What happens if he gets sober for a month and you decide to go on holidays for a week - do you trust that he wont drink? It probably boils down to where his head is at, as Molls and JC said.. Will he give everything he has to this or is he just trying to get you and Mr S off his back.

We'll see Mers .... but I've had my own shit time with alcohol - I had to figure it out and I'll be damned if I'll take on his shit for the rest of my life.
Molls will kill me but I DEFINITELY was never as bad as him. ( sorry Molls )
He just doesn't seem to long for that 'normal' life I did and ready to do anything to get it.

Seems to be in self-destruct mode that can only lead to a major disaster if he continues.

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Evening troopers -

Satz, I know one night aint gonna change the world but I do have my fingers and toes crossed that when he gets up tomorrow something inside of him may have changed for the positive.

Spent most of today working around my Masters. Emailed me mentor - very lovely lady, t-total it think too - to say i need a kick up the japsy with my dissertation. She suggested a to do list with nice easy things as well as work things on it. Like lunch and showering. So that has been good to see I've done something. (I did more than eat and shower!)

Now, though, to bed. Hope yis all have a sound sleep.

That sounds like great advice RC. A nice gentle list that you can tick off one by one instead of freaking out about all you have to do.
Psychologically ticking off the mundane like shower and grub helps give a sense of getting stuff done.

Nice one that very lovely lady :thumbsup:

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

We'll see Mers .... but I've had my own shit time with alcohol - I had to figure it out and I'll be damned if I'll take on his shit for the rest of my life.
Molls will kill me but I DEFINITELY was never as bad as him. ( sorry Molls )
He just doesn't seem to long for that 'normal' life I did and ready to do anything to get it.

Seems to be in self-destruct mode that can only lead to a major disaster if he continues.

Ah look no point in denying the obvious - I doubt many round here got to that stage - I guess normal life as you or I see it is appalling to him right now - doubt that he can see life without it - but for sure you canNOT spend the rest of your days like Mers says - worrying if you leave the house - just try and get him dried out for a few days and then empty that shed down the sink - give him no access to money for anything and tell him again how much pain and hurt he's causing you two - but don't threaten anything you won't follow through on or he has you over a barrel - after that - I dunno - I really don't xxxx

[starty]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

We'll see Mers .... but I've had my own shit time with alcohol - I had to figure it out and I'll be damned if I'll take on his shit for the rest of my life.
Molls will kill me but I DEFINITELY was never as bad as him. ( sorry Molls )
He just doesn't seem to long for that 'normal' life I did and ready to do anything to get it.

Seems to be in self-destruct mode that can only lead to a major disaster if he continues.

I think when we are young the very last thing we want is a "normal" life cos that word seemed so boring. At least it did to me. For me the kicker was having no mental health and the depression that came with drinking and feeling there was no alternative. I guess I was a high functioning alkie like most of us here.....

Love the to do lists. I use them when feeling overwhelmed. Wash hair, put washing on, walk dogs....seems moronic but they do take away the panic

What are you doing a masters in RC? I am doing a Leadership and Management course at the mo, masses of essays and its doing me nut in. Never really wanted to do it but hey ho will carry on until im done. I always said I NEVER wanted to be a manager...and here I am. One of life's cruel jokes

[RunningCourage]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Morning troops

I think when we are young the very last thing we want is a "normal" life cos that word seemed so boring. At least it did to me. For me the kicker was having no mental health and the depression that came with drinking and feeling there was no alternative. I guess I was a high functioning alkie like most of us here.....

Love the to do lists. I use them when feeling overwhelmed. Wash hair, put washing on, walk dogs....seems moronic but they do take away the panic

What are you doing a masters in RC? I am doing a Leadership and Management course at the mo, masses of essays and its doing me nut in. Never really wanted to do it but hey ho will carry on until im done. I always said I NEVER wanted to be a manager...and here I am. One of life's cruel jokes

Starty - I agree that i also think it is common that young peeps don't want a normal life as such, they look at the older generation and go "pass, looks a bit antiquated to me. Yawn." I did, to an extent. Yet i wonder if young Satz is that young? (Satz?) I'll be 40 NEXT year... :egad: by which time i reckon youthful aspirations for an alternative life experience have diluted for most. I just hope he finds his kicker soon rather than later. My original kicker was a dawning realisation that I couldn't go a night without a single drink. A bad habit that was gradually wrapping itself around me like some toxic evil snake.

As for my masters- it's in Education, specifically Philosophy with Children. If it were the only thing I was doing I'd love it. I do love philosophy with kids. But on top of teaching, addiction to running, singing gp etc... I could do without. But i paid for it (nearly) so damned if I don't do it!

Right - hope you all have a nice gentle rise to Tuesday. It's looking dreich out there. Stay warm folks.