Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

[MENTION=23019]tonyniceday[/MENTION]

I currently have a ,until now, secret aim, to get through to 28th April when I am going on holiday to Mexico .... honestly I don't know if I'll get through that holiday without a drink, or even, if I'm truly honest, whether I want to !!!

This made my ears prick up in alarm.......especially this bit........

if I'm truly honest, whether I want to

........forgive me if I'm wrong but this sounds like you want to drink on holiday and get back to sober land when you get back.........and you know and I know and every beggar on these boards knows its not easy to snap back.

I wouldn't normally jump on something so quick, but there's time for planning, Tony and its only because we care.

[Crusader]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Good Morning Everyone. It is actually a ‘good’ morning. How nice!

I am typing this in my google docs to try to get through all the responses and post a reply all at once. This way if I get interrupted or can’t finish, I can post them when I can. I say this, so that if something seems outdated, it may be a late addition.

One thing I have learned from failure is I have to set this as a priority for me. All the shoulds, responsibility for others’ problems, and people pleasing behaviors have to take a back seat this time around. I see clearly ‘that’ self imposed repeated behavior is a stumbling block for me among others. I have to quit for me and no one else and think of what I need to have for success. I wake and my first priority is my notebook time. I set myself straight right up front for the day and maybe at other times of the day when I need an adjustment. If my replies are late, that is most likely the reason. The notebook and a clearer plan are a new addition to tackling all my issues. Alcohol abuse is a byproduct of much deeper fears, hopelessness, pain, bad choices, and not taking full personal responsibility for taking care of myself and my reactions, behaviors, etc. I’m sure this rings a bell with all of us. We think escaping is the easy way out, but really it becomes a very tangled and damaging way out that causes so many problems. My thoughts may have been I don’t want to live, but feeling so ill from the full downhill spiral of late scared me. How’s that for irony. I am at a point where if I don’t stop covering up pain and escaping life’s harsh realities that are of my own doing or outside of my control, I will be in that grave. Just typing this out or talking about any of those painful issues brings on a waterfall of tears, but I must as I’ve seen in some replies ‘walk through it’. There is no other way outside of a grave. I suppose that is where the statement, ‘what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger’ has come from.

Thank you, Rusty, Rustop59, mollyka, RunningCourage, IamMary, JackieClaire, tonyniceday and anyone else I missed. I think I will post this and set specific responses separately later. I do not want to limit time with my goal oriented items in my notebook plan section as stated above.

It is day 6 now. There WILL be a day 7.

Love and hugs to us all!

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Smashing post Crusader - and don't for a minute think you have to reply to each and every one of us - early sobriety is daunting - it's exhausting and this should be an aid - not a chore. It's great to hear how you feel about your relationship with alcohol - and now how you realise THIS is YOUR time - and nothing else counts - or should count - all the people that care about us - that we've let down - if they truly care - all they want is our sobriety - so to put ourselves firmly up there as #1 for the initial period is the only way to go.

I acknowledge and agree with what Jackie says Tony - however - I could only learn about the increasing difficulty of finding sobriety on each and every quit by finding out - to the point where yes - I needed treatment - that what seemed a doddle on my first quit - became almost unattainable... BUT -- I had to find that out myself - because you see -- I was different to all these people... 'cept I wasn't.. - but I do understand where you are in your thoughts.. I also drank for a holiday and aimed to get back on the wagon - and I did - for a little while - and then I didn't.. be aware that that may happen - and if you still decide to drink for Mexico - you will be making an informed decision.

Evening everyone else. a bit blue this evening - my very bestest bestest friend at work has been transferred - and I'm a bit devastated - but that's the downside of my job - it could be me gone tomorrow - just sad..

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Evening, well there's 5 hours of my life I'll not get back.........waiting for a man to put in a new electricity meter and the bugger never turned up.

Molls, I thought I was different to those people too.......are they the same people I've done the same deliberately decided to just drink when we went to the USA....then on holiday.....Oban......the big weekend music festival in Leeds......and I managed after a fashion......and I still ended up back in the poop.
Sorry you're best buddy's gone. Moll, you'll keep in touch?

[MENTION=24140]Crusader[/MENTION].....don't you go worrying about replying to us all. You're doing all the right things........even now my sobriety comes first.
I do know that this time round I was ready and willing to face the day sober when I woke up and I did keep a note book.

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Evening, well there's 5 hours of my life I'll not get back.........waiting for a man to put in a new electricity meter and the bugger never turned up.

Molls, I thought I was different to those people too.......are they the same people I've done the same deliberately decided to just drink when we went to the USA....then on holiday.....Oban......the big weekend music festival in Leeds......and I managed after a fashion......and I still ended up back in the poop.
Sorry you're best buddy's gone. Moll, you'll keep in touch?

[MENTION=24140]Crusader[/MENTION].....don't you go worrying about replying to us all. You're doing all the right things........even now my sobriety comes first.
I do know that this time round I was ready and willing to face the day sober when I woke up and I did keep a note book.

Well I'll take your 5 hours and raise it.................. haha -- well not quite -- BUT -- we rang our alarm company yesterday to tell them to come out to replace the batteries as everything is going flash and bang and beep
SO -- today I get a missed call + voicemail - no phones at work so out in the cold to listen to voicemail.... alarm company telling me my batteries are low - rang them - out in the cold to tell them the man is coming later --- 7 missed calls + voicemails + out in the cold to listen to voicemails --- FIT TO BE TIED !!!! YES I KNOW THE BATTERIES ARE LOW!!!!!

anyways -- going to get an early night tonight - little sleep last night

because




THE SHAGGING ALARM WAS BEEPING!!!!:cuss:

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Hit with a hammer.
We've got a tidy garage for the first time this century so whoever turned up wouldn't end up with a cosy coupe or a dolls pram tripping them up........un less they meant 2am to 4am.

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Hit with a hammer.
We've got a tidy garage for the first time this century so whoever turned up wouldn't end up with a cosy coupe or a dolls pram tripping them up........un less they meant 2am to 4am.

Well you could always do a Mrs Doyle (of Father Ted fame!) on it and stand in the garage with a cup of tea -- just in case he arrives ;-)

A very long story - but my two youngest sprogs have been a bit 'strained' lately due to some events a while back - they were always the best of friends and it saddened me to see the bit of distance between them. He has just asked her to be Godmother to his little girly --- I couldn't be happier tbh - don't get involved in family 'things' but have watched from afar... too good - I'll go to bed with a happy hat..... night folks x

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Well you could always do a Mrs Doyle (of Father Ted fame!) on it and stand in the garage with a cup of tea -- just in case he arrives ;-)

A very long story - but my two youngest sprogs have been a bit 'strained' lately due to some events a while back - they were always the best of friends and it saddened me to see the bit of distance between them. He has just asked her to be Godmother to his little girly --- I couldn't be happier tbh - don't get involved in family 'things' but have watched from afar... too good - I'll go to bed with a happy hat..... night folks x

Ahh that's lovely.:hug:

I still love Father Ted and although I've got the DVDs its always lovely to see it pop up randomly on the TV.

Mrs Doyle Best Bits - Father Ted Compilation - YouTube

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

HAHA!! LOVE IT!!!! that was the one - standing in the dark with the teapot 'just in case' - brilliant!!! 6 mins of laughs bless her!!!! Night xxxx

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

A very long story - but my two youngest sprogs have been a bit 'strained' lately due to some events a while back - they were always the best of friends and it saddened me to see the bit of distance between them. He has just asked her to be Godmother to his little girly --- I couldn't be happier tbh - don't get involved in family 'things' but have watched from afar... too good - I'll go to bed with a happy hat..... night folks x

Ah lovely Molls .... :hug:

[RunningCourage]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Late pop in - banjaxed.

Agree with JC and Molls re "i'm not that person" but in reality we are what we least expect ourselves to be. I still deny, I know I do, which is why, today and tomorrow I take the Dr Satzsuma approach of not saying I won't ever drink, just that I won't drink today. That's all. No more. Just today. I don't know what's going to happen in the weeks and months hence, but I feel if I stick to the "not today" approach, there is a better likelihood of finding Molly-esque contentedness in sobriety and less of the "if I get to x-point, I could have a drink"...

I had 9 months AF before I had a drink... but it took me 4 years to realise that drinking was once again incrementing itself back to the glory days of my 20s (bottle of wine+ every night). Never got there, but I could see how it might. Sure, i wasn't downing 2lt bottles of vodka every day (school nights, just a can of beer, but had become 2...) , but it was taking the edge off of life. Or, the potential of seeing life a little sharper, living it a little bit brighter.

I won't drink tomorrow, that's all I've promised myself. (I just seem to have begun making it a daily promise). By no means out of the woods. Indeed I'm still in the woods, only I have found some good friends (here) again and am walking through with those eye things horses wear so they can't see out their peripheral vision!!

Leaba time -

[IamMary]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Ahh that's lovely.:hug:

I still love Father Ted and although I've got the DVDs its always lovely to see it pop up randomly on the TV.

Mrs Doyle Best Bits - Father Ted Compilation - YouTube

I logged on here ages ago and got distracted when I clicked that link

Glad to read your kids have ironed out the wrinkles Molly.. that's a lovely gesture. Pity about your buddy. Will she be replaced? Could you really be moved at any time?

Good post RC. None of us are drinking tomorrow...:three:

Shattered, night all..

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Morning! Good post arsey and tbh it SHOULD be ' just today' for all of us - it's natural to progress to viewing life as 'sober' going forward after some time but......!!!!!She's a he Mary - lovely funny kind man - haha not like that at this stage of my life but a great friend and we will stay in touch it's a small community - Christ knows who's gonna replace him tho!!!! Yup can be moved anytime - very unsettling if you're happy - less so if not

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Morning,
Getting psyched up for a dentist's appointment this morning and the beggars have cancelled as my dentist is off sick. I could go into work but by the time I'm ready and get there it'll be time to get back.

Molls, do you remember in the banks they just used to transfer you willy-nilly.........I'd been happily plodding along in a branch when I was told I was off to another..........from all accounts this branch was the branch from Hell, the branch you were sent to if you weren't up to scratch, the manager was supposed to be a chain smoking drunk who liked nothing better than shouting at the staff.........late nights were the norm and I was going in senior to a lad that had been there more or less since birth.............I cried and cried and cried, begged them not to send me........no can do.

I have to say they were the happiest three years I ever spent. In a very working class and working hard community who took you to heart. The boss although he defo was a chain smoker and more than likely an alkie was a real gentleman..........and I cried because I didn't want to leave them and begged them to let me stay.

[rustop59]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Morning,
Getting psyched up for a dentist's appointment this morning and the beggars have cancelled as my dentist is off sick. I could go into work but by the time I'm ready and get there it'll be time to get back.

Molls, do you remember in the banks they just used to transfer you willy-nilly.........I'd been happily plodding along in a branch when I was told I was off to another..........from all accounts this branch was the branch from Hell, the branch you were sent to if you weren't up to scratch, the manager was supposed to be a chain smoking drunk who liked nothing better than shouting at the staff.........late nights were the norm and I was going in senior to a lad that had been there more or less since birth.............I cried and cried and cried, begged them not to send me........no can do.

I have to say they were the happiest three years I ever spent. In a very working class and working hard community who took you to heart. The boss although he defo was a chain smoker and more than likely an alkie was a real gentleman..........and I cried because I didn't want to leave them and begged them to let me stay.

Ah lovely story JC. Change is scary but it does help us grow and develop. Like with al all any of us can do is take it a day at a time. Had productive day yesterday, getting a bit of a yen for a decluttering spree. Hasn’t fully come on, might build up to it!