Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

[Crusader]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Good Afternoon Everyone.

Today is day 8.

It’s been a busy two days, so not much time to read and respond once again. As several have indicated, it is understood here that it can’t become a chore or a burden in our quest to take care of ourselves.

Yesterday, I was away getting my bottom jaw finished that I started over eight months ago. Right after the first surgery, I received a call my mom had a stroke. I had to fly out and be with her after they stabilized my condition and sent me on my way with medications until I could return to finish the process. I was unable to eat/chew. I could only drink liquid forms of nutrition. I was with my mom night and day for over three weeks in four different facilities. This is a long story, not for today. Long story short, she left this world in hospice. The long story would provide even more detail on my huge slide into wanting to leave this world. Shortly, very shortly after that, I lost an equally important person to me in my life. So, returning home with all this pain, I was devastated. I hadn’t drank while with my mom at all, so goes to show you we can stop when we have to. We choose not to. I went into a horrible state and even having to finish up reconstructing my jaw, etc., I drank more and more to cope. So again, long story short, I was at an appointment yesterday to complete the process that has been a long one on my bottom jaw. I am happy to report, I can now eat and chew foods correctly again. Here’s to you, mom! She knows what that means as we both made some sacrifices. Ones I did not realize were being made at the time. She probably did because that’s what mom’s do. (Sobs)

So, that is reason number one I am left short on time. Reason number two is that today, I had to stop and buy a new laptop which I am trying out right now. Yay! It works.

Reason number three, I’m going out to dinner and CHEWING a great meal in a half hour. So, I better go wipe away these tears from typing that first paragraph and go celebrate a real meal and how much I loved my mom and my other loss.

I left this because while going to sleep last night, tired, I saw some posts I wanted to respond to, but needed to get to sleep. Today, I could not do so because of my laptop failure and my dinner plans.

Hugs and love to everyone and read this knowing things can really be bad in life. Maybe they are and maybe you can see they could be worse.

[RunningCourage]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Morning troops,

First, thank you for posts re me moan - much appreciated. I'm hoping that tomorrow's marathon run will help run off some of the heavy chest, anger, pissy-feeling... I mind back in 2016 when I was training for a 53mile race (friggin bonkers, I know) and was feeling frustrated/angry/pissed at my probationer mentor lady, that I'd use that to motivate myself to run further, as in thinking, "look what I CAN DO - how impressive is that?!" It helped run silly long miles for my training runs at least.

Today, though, is a rest day - so slouching in bed, for a long morning

Crusader - sorry to hear about your losses - that IS hard, losing two people you are so close to in such short space of time. Admire how you look straight to the positives. Good stuff :thumbs: And happy chewing!

[rustop59]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Good morning all. Sorry about what you are both going through RC and Crusader. :welldone: RC, there you are turning a negative into a positive, way to go. Good luck in the marathon tomorrow, very impressive.

I too am slouching in bed, awake early. The joys of the unhungover weekend going to do some crocheting. How was class yesterday JC? Wave to everyone else, have a great Saturday.

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Morning lovelies,

[MENTION=24140]Crusader[/MENTION]........come here and get one of these.:huggers:. I'm sorry for your loss and have to admire your commitment to your sobriety by getting a new lap-top.

[MENTION=18049]RunningCourage[/MENTION]........daft question of the week........53miles in one go or do you get a break for a cup of tea and a biscuit?

[MENTION=15758]rustop59[/MENTION]......Would you believe I got a round of applause for my granny square. There were 10 of us at the start and 4 have dropped out.....shame because its a good group, we all tick along nicely and the teacher is great and the time flies.

Still watching the Winter Olympics to the small hours.......still baffled by the ones that need to throw themselves down a huge mountain on snowboard.........but its so exciting. We got a bronze in the Big Air and the commentors were saying that was incredible given his age and being the eldest of the run............he's 28 :egad:

[anon]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Good morning everyone. Feeling good this morning grateful that I do not have a chest infection, grateful I an no longer jet lagged, grateful that I have not got a hangover!
BUT cheesed off because of my lack of training I had to walk half way through my Parkrun this morning--Only joking as I am grateful that I am able to be able to run at all.
My week was punctuated by a funeral of my last remaining Aunt who was 103. Although a bit sad it was great to catch up with the extended family--well some of them.

Hi Rustop and JC keep on with the crocheting sound like a real skill --I thought if you could knit you surely should be able to crochet. By the way Jacks I still wear my beanie!
Good luck on the mara RC I am supposed to be doing a half tomorrow also without adequate training. Remember how you smashed Windermere?
Crusader sorry about your loss--sad times but you sound strong
Molly I too get overly sensitive but it usually gets me in the middle of the night and I brood for ages.
Glad you overcame the dragon Satz and how is the boy doing?
Hello everyone else have a great Saturday

[anon]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Xpost JC Well done on your Square

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Good morning folks, so many pages to read back blimey. Not been too well tbh, home from hospital last night but on the mend, TG there was no AL in the picture, it just makes every conceivable situation worse doesn't it.
It honestly still surprises me when I think back to how for so many years I became indoctrinated to feel everything revolved around my every single day/night drinking, like it was some kind of bizarre medicine I couldn't do without even when I didn't really want to consume it, maybe my body was telling me something I didn't want to hear. So scary I that couldn't see the wood for the trees, well for so many years I couldn't or more likely wouldn't look at the truth. How sweet the taste of freedom from that is my friends.

[RunningCourage]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

[MENTION=18049]RunningCourage[/MENTION]........daft question of the week........53miles in one go or do you get a break for a cup of tea and a biscuit?

:haha: I think I paused 3, maybe 4 times - each for about 5minutes, to eat, stretch and look ahead thinking.... :egad:

My week was punctuated by a funeral of my last remaining Aunt who was 103. Although a bit sad it was great to catch up with the extended family--well some of them.

Good luck on the mara RC I am supposed to be doing a half tomorrow also without adequate training. Remember how you smashed Windermere?

103?!? You hail from excellent stock, whizzy!

Good luck in the half! Windermere - still one of my favourite medals (doesn't rust either!) Considering doing Coniston in June...

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

:haha: I think I paused 3, maybe 4 times - each for about 5minutes, to eat, stretch and look ahead thinking.... :egad:
..

Oh good just enough time for a ciggie .......I jest of course. When Jenny did the Great North Run she nipped into one of the porta-loos and begged any higher being to help her.. She's doing it again this year but she's started training early not like the the 10mins she did last year.

Tabbers, me love. Poor you. Even though when you were proper poorly did you get a wee kick when you were asked if you drank and they ticked a big fat NO ?

Crikey, Whizzy......103.......the things she saw over the last century is mind boggling.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Hi RC & JC. They didn't ask directly JC, however the nurse did pass a comment that it was obvious that I wasn't a couch potato when being questioned about my lifestyle. That was good to hear since I have lost well over a stone since giving up the poison.

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Hello all! Sorry you've not been well tabs - bit poxy that - give up the grog then get sick - mebbe you were a bit pickled get better lovely - you've had a tough time crusader - (might call you Tom? Aka Tom Cruise-ader:victorious so better not dealing with those feelings drunk - hey all else

[anon]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Sorry you have been ill Tabby. Hope all is well now

[Crusader]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

Good Morning Weekenders.

Day 9 which is one day more than my January attempt to stop poisoning/hurting myself. That didn’t stick which is why I developed my notebook of various sections. I may list some of them in a later post, but there is no doubt it is helping. It keeps my head more organized and on task when those thoughts want to descend back into the darkness.

I am happy to report my reasoned personality won the war yesterday against the other personalities in the battle to have a glass of wine, after all, it was a celebration, right? Just one glass of wine with dinner and back to nothing tomorrow and it wouldn’t count against my goal to take better care and responsibility for myself, right? Dinner will be no fun without something to drink, right? Just one, just one, just one...you all know it well. To be honest, I hadn’t totally squashed that thought when I sat down at the bar waiting for a table, but once I did, there was my reasoned personality that took over and I asked for a list of non alcoholic options. Ice tea was my pleasure and so was dinner. Well I’ll be…

Scene two, back at the house. Not so fast with the pat on the back. Like I drink my alcohol, I drank three TALL glasses of ice tea. Do you know what that much caffeine before bedtime does to you when you are already fighting anxiety and insomnia? I thought I was going to have a heart attack for a couple hours. Needless to say, sleep wasn’t the best. I said to myself, “self, you can’t go substituting other bad decisions in place of the one you are eliminating”. So today, I cleaned the bathroom, showered, had breakfast and drank one of my...hmmmm...what was the drink?







Emergen-C Immune with Vitamin D and antioxidants. Yes, I am walking into Day 9 with determination. I haven’t yet read the boards. Off to do that now.

RC, I dare say, I sense some humor returning. :victorious:

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

I think its also a confidence thing.
And that takes a while to grow back when you spend a decade or 2 knocking back bottles of wine every night. Well it did for me (I found new shoes, coat and a trip to the mac counter helped a lot. )


Hows the young fella [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]

Agreed Mers - takes a while to build confidence - that alcohol used to provide artificially.
Young Satz heading for 2 weeks sober on Tuesday and seems to be well settled and happy.
Is swimming, gymming, golfing & has an interview for a job on Tuesday.....
Mr S SOOOO happy when 2 of his friends called to pick him up to go to 'Hot Yoga' (don't ask :egad
He had worried he had lost all his mates.
Reminded me of when he was a kid & friends calling to go out to play :haha:

[Crusader]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-February 2018

I think I'll just pick up right here. It would take too long to go all the way back, but the support and wisdom in this army is worth the time spent reading it. Hugs to all. Thank you for yours and that was quite a squeeze there, Jackie.:thanks:

All this talk about running makes me need a nap. I think I'll go over and join the granny square competition. I don't know how to knit or crochet, but the idea of it right now just sounds more pleasant than running 50 miles. Oy! Actually, I am stimulated with mind activities. I love to learn. I find it enjoyable...surely that varies on the topic. I think I may truly be somewhat of a geek at heart even though that isn't exactly how I have lived my life. The older we get, the more we learn about who we are and some changes which occur, of course. Caveat: Don't drink and think this discovery will manifest in the proper way.

I saw Satz meme this morning. Boy did that one hit home. What do you mean we aren't superheros meant to solve all the worlds problems? I categorize that one right up with the talk of sensitivity in late mention by some here in the MWO membership. They have words for such behavior and/or personalities. Empath is the kinder version and codependent would be the ugly cousin version. Either way, we feel and wear others problems and go about rescuing and saving them all the while ignoring what we need to do for our own saving. I have a doctorate degree in that field. I can rescue with the best of them while leaving my life fall into shambles. Then comes the drink...

Drats...I lost the post and had to redo it. I timed out and it didn't auto restore. Oh well, I suppose I've lost some items that now have floated away from my mind. So it will just be...blessed acceptance of things outside my control.



Should I sign this T. Crusader?