Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

[paulywogg]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

Hello Army,,just want to give Satz one of these:hug:I know its hard to live like this,always on edge worried about your grown child and his drinking,he'll get it eventually hopefully but its all up to him as we know,,congrats on the three pounds at least!!

[satz123]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

his 'sobriety' is every bit as bad imo as if he was drinking all the time - because you don't know the day nor the hour.. like yesterday - NO ONE should have to live like that - you have reared your kids - himself is retired and at our age - life should be our own - he has no business making you live like that at your age - and I don't mean that in a smart alec way - I'm the same age - we deserve peace now - the chaos should be long over -

Agree totally Molls. Hit the nail on the head.
There was no sense of surprise or shock or ANYTHING really last night when I heard that tone in MrS's voice talking downstairs.

This will sound selfish but I want him gone. I had my drink problems & I don't want his. Like you say I REFUSE to live like this for the rest of my life.
I was talking to ' boss woman' there recently - turns out her brother is 48 and 'care' of him has landed on her since the mother died. The mother hid a lot.
Wife, kids, rest of siblings gone - but she is looking after him and thinks that's ok

I was HORRIFIED to think I would be that mother and die with him still hanging around ...... Jesus .....

[satz123]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

Hello Army,,just want to give Satz one of these:hug:I know its hard to live like this,always on edge worried about your grown child and his drinking,he'll get it eventually hopefully but its all up to him as we know,,congrats on the three pounds at least!!

Thanks Pauly
I know you have your 'share of shit' to cope with too.
How are you getting on these days ?

[satz123]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

A wake up call i had maybe a year before I surrendered - was fed up to the back teeth of Joe and his ultimatums - decided I would get a little apt. be able to live as I wanted to live - had it all worked out - kids could visit in my little place and all - until I did the sums - yeah I could afford a small place but there'd be nothing left for 'enjoyment' ( wine!) Pointless

And you were prepared to do that Molls ..... to be able to do your own thing and drink ? - till you sobered up ?

[satz123]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

I have to admit this and I've NEVER admitted it even to myself too much - many times when I was drinking I can actually remember wishing I had a pill I could take & not wake up. And I was serious about that. Of course I was too lazy to bother going and checking it out. Too much trouble
When I was thinking like that I believed life had become too difficult and I was SO tired of the treadmill of drinking even when I didn't want to. I know that was the alcohol thinking for me - but it is really scary how alcohol changes our personalities.

I was functioning - work , family etc.but I was leading a double life. The secrecy, lies, hidden bottles, trips with bags of bottles to the bottle bank.
Molls often said to me in the early days that maybe I wasn't 'the worst' YET but I was heading there.

Not sure why I'm saying this now - but I think I'm thinking about Toe Knee and the upcoming holiday.
My last drinking days on holiday in Greece were horrible - even as I was doing it - I was hating it - MADNESS - and looked forward to getting home & back to 'normal' - the new normal for me - which was sober.
So Toe Knee don't ruin your holiday in April. Sober is doable if you pre pave the way with a plan.

[paulywogg]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

I'm ok Satz thanks for asking,guards up,heads on straight,doing it! Funny you post how you drank on vacation and hated it,exactly the same way I feel drinking now yet still do it,hate it and wish for my " normal" life again,I just gotta keep that in the forefront of my mind

[mollyka]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

And you were prepared to do that Molls ..... to be able to do your own thing and drink ? - till you sobered up ?

I knew I drank too much - but did think that if the family - well Joe in particular - just kept their noses out - I'd be grand - I knew loads of people who drank as much as I (in truth - did I? Did they drink as much as me - or were their brains as consumed by thoughts of drinking... doubt it very much) - so yeah - if I was left alone - had my own place - had the idea that I drank at 'inappropriate' times purely to fit in with others ideas.. that if I lived alone I could have a couple of glasses with my dinner after work - and a couple of nightcaps watching tele before bed - all at my own pace - I 'normalized' what I would be alone... and I believed that - sort of.... I sort of justified it all

I have to admit this and I've NEVER admitted it even to myself too much - many times when I was drinking I can actually remember wishing I had a pill I could take & not wake up. And I was serious about that. Of course I was too lazy to bother going and checking it out. Too much trouble
When I was thinking like that I believed life had become too difficult and I was SO tired of the treadmill of drinking even when I didn't want to. I know that was the alcohol thinking for me - but it is really scary how alcohol changes our personalities.

I was functioning - work , family etc.but I was leading a double life. The secrecy, lies, hidden bottles, trips with bags of bottles to the bottle bank.
Molls often said to me in the early days that maybe I wasn't 'the worst' YET but I was heading there.

Not sure why I'm saying this now - but I think I'm thinking about Toe Knee and the upcoming holiday.
My last drinking days on holiday in Greece were horrible - even as I was doing it - I was hating it - MADNESS - and looked forward to getting home & back to 'normal' - the new normal for me - which was sober.
So Toe Knee don't ruin your holiday in April. Sober is doable if you pre pave the way with a plan.

I knew if I kept drinking as I did that I would probably die younger than I should - did I care - nah - not a jot.. not the same maybe as 'taking a pill' - but not much different.. I'd rather die young than have to give up drink - life without it seemed pointless.... all the joy would be gone........ the JOY????? Christ... but the world facilitated me to keep going - I too appeared normal to the world - MASTER of hiding and dissembling... to this day most people who knew me back then would be gobsmacked at the extent of my double life.. so I do think it's a good idea to confront where possible rather than ...

I'm ok Satz thanks for asking,guards up,heads on straight,doing it! Funny you post how you drank on vacation and hated it,exactly the same way I feel drinking now yet still do it,hate it and wish for my " normal" life again,I just gotta keep that in the forefront of my mind

I remember CLEARLY drinking at times when I truly didn't want to - a 'window' would arrive - a day off work when Joe was on a long shift - that sort of thing - and it was like I couldn't miss the opportunity even tho I didn't want to -- that truly was lunacy within addiction..
Howdy Pauly - xxxxx

[littlepinkcat]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

hey up, big hugs satzy x

[RunningCourage]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

Hey Doc Satzuma - thinking of you. Really good advice/stories/thoughts on the thread today... Don't have much to add other than Molls is clearly in sage wiman mode :haha:

I think you're right Benjy - let him try and get a plan - he's still addled with the drink even after 3 weeks - ...-

This caught my eye - as my immediate thought was about the distance from when we give up drink, our day 1s. I think i'm on about day 60 - I don't count daily, have to dbl check how many weeks it's been each Sunday... BUT BUT BUT.. i am still having regular-ish thoughts about a drink, a pint in the pub, a glass of wine or 3 with a friend... and I'm wondering how much the distance we put between quitting and the present day lessens more and more the desire to drink; the thoughts of drinking; the perceiving drinking as normal and this non-drinking as abnormal ... and I wonder whether we are "still addled with the drink even after x-weeks/months" as long as we are perceiving non-drinking as abnormal...and therefore likely idolising the opportunity/chance we get for a drink (even if it's months in the future). Dunno if that made sense. It did to me when I thought it!

I knew I drank too much - but did think that if the family - well Joe in particular - just kept their noses out - I'd be grand - I knew loads of people who drank as much as I (in truth - did I? Did they drink as much as me - or were their brains as consumed by thoughts of drinking... doubt it very much) - so yeah - if I was left alone - had my own place - had the idea that I drank at 'inappropriate' times purely to fit in with others ideas.. that if I lived alone I could have a couple of glasses with my dinner after work - and a couple of nightcaps watching tele before bed - all at my own pace - I 'normalized' what I would be alone... and I believed that - sort of.... I sort of justified it all

It's impossible to know. I don't think anyone, say at work or who i've got to know in the last few years, would think I was as consumed at times with drink (usual stuff, making sure I had at least a beer or two in the flat, esp' at weekends... then also worried about how much i drank over time... and, like you describe Molls, living alone and "normalising" the way that I drank - Saturday and drinking a few beers by myself watching TV... etc..) SO... it is, I think, impossible to know whether anyone we consider "normal" drinkers may actually be consumed with similar thoughts. If I present such a clean-living image, why might other's not also?

Also... I wonder how many people may drink somewhat excessively, but not necessarily "alcoholically" (don't like that term - misleading) and not think about/let it consume their thoughts...despite damage it may be doing??

[MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION] - ooooooohhh... OW. :hug: Sorry to hear about yer dentist visit (got one tomorrow arvo myself), sounds yuck. Hope it doesn't cause too much grief.

Hello Paully - good to see ya here. Hope you're taking care

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

Evening,
Molls, I'll have a word with him about the implant.....hopefully I have the gums for it. It could be the smokes, the drink, the fact I would only go to the dentist at the very last minute I dunno.

Oh and thanks that's what I meant a half-way house. Brain went into lock down while I was sitting on my pity pot.

I knew loads of people who drank as much as I (in truth - did I? Did they drink as much as me - or were their brains as consumed by thoughts of drinking... doubt it very much

I think you've got it.........my whole drinking years weren't about the amount but the constant thoughts........did I have enough in the house, did I have enough in my purse to buy more, had I been in this shop twice this week........round and round and round and round and round.

And Satz, darling. I used to pray I wouldn't wake up in the morning and curse when I did.

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION]....big waves to you, sweetheart.

[mollyka]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

Crikey - lots of thoughts going on there! Simple first - I would really recommend the implants Jacks - I'm old enough to remember when even young people had gappy teeth and bad oral hygiene - and people in their 40's and 50's having false teeth - no reason for that nowadays - and with the implants - no fillings - no nerves - no root canals - fabulous - yeah - the gums need to be okay but they can be healed I think?

Also... I wonder how many people may drink somewhat excessively, but not necessarily "alcoholically" (don't like that term - misleading) and not think about/let it consume their thoughts...despite damage it may be doing??
That bit Arsey - well I reckon that folks who mix with other heavy drinkers - usually men I think cos they are more usually serious pub drinkers - well I guess they don't let the drink consume their thoughts much at all - because they just --- drink.. there was a big group of men who used to drink in our local many moons ago - they seem to more or less arrive at opening time and go home at closing time - so they just 'did' rather than think about it.. but most people have family/friends/work colleagues etc. who will eventually put obstacles in the heavy drinkers way - and that's when the obsession arrives for the 'heavy drinker' because they either have to abstain when they don't want to at times or delay their gratification - within that lies the problem with enabling the drinker - if their nearest and dearest appear to see little wrong with their drinking - well then - neither will they -- just my vvvho

[IamMary]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

Wave [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION]..

I think you've got it.........my whole drinking years weren't about the amount but the constant thoughts........did I have enough in the house, did I have enough in my purse to buy more, had I been in this shop twice this week........round and round and round and round and round.

Same. I was quite restraint a lot of the time, sticking to the exact amount that wouldnt cause too much damage in the morning, until the weekend, when most of the shopping trolly was taken up with bottles of wine. Thats if I had the nerve to buy them in the supermarket and risk someone seeing me that would know I wasnt entertaining. Then of course I would have to have a back story - on sale, stocking up for Christmas, buying as presents.. bullshit bullshit bullshit.

Hope your doing ok Satz. You could do with a little weekend away from all of this.:hug:

[IamMary]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

Evening Molly. Wise words as always :happy2:

[mollyka]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

Wave [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION]..



Same. I was quite restraint a lot of the time, sticking to the exact amount that wouldnt cause too much damage in the morning, until the weekend, when most of the shopping trolly was taken up with bottles of wine. Thats if I had the nerve to buy them in the supermarket and risk someone seeing me that would know I wasnt entertaining. Then of course I would have to have a back story - on sale, stocking up for Christmas, buying as presents.. bullshit bullshit bullshit.

Hope your doing ok Satz. You could do with a little weekend away from all of this.:hug:

Restraint --mm - didn't have a whole heap of restraint once I'd had a couple -- seemed to ALWAYS need 'one more' - however - I could go for weeks/months without hardly giving booze a thought - but once a 'thought' had gone into my head... it was only a matter of when...

[mollyka]

Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018

Evening Molly. Wise words as always :happy2:

Evening darling!!