Re: Join up! Army against the grog!!! March 2018
Good Morning Army.
I haven't read the thread, but I did see your reply Molly and JC. I've been posting in the nest daily. I post in the cafe as well as a commitment to another 24 hours instead of the roll call.
I'm sharing today's post here for various reasons...a more serious post as that's where I'm at presently.
It's an up and down journey when we set out to change our lives. We often ponder about how alcohol affects our emotions at certain time periods in our quit, but I am not thinking about it in those terms this time around. I see my ups and downs in a more self reflective way. I'll have moments of clarity and joy followed by moments of a depressed state. The depressed states appear to be triggered from the past, present or worry toward the future and most importantly, not being who I should be, who I was born to be. So many things come into play in those low moments. These are often trigger moments to get a drink, but my tool box and gained knowledge are helping to have victory over those moments and feelings. I know that the alcohol will only prolong the existing struggles and inhibit intelligent, informed thought toward solving them. After my recent high to a low, I will humble myself to those periods and realize my feelings where 'I don't want to drink' can change to the opposite rapidly. I'll acknowledge this is not a stable journey, but one worth taking. The positive in these changing moods is that I am learning something in each of them. So, I can view them as a positive instead of a negative in the rear view mirror. It's where the growth is for me...those changes on a deeper level and sometimes not so deep, I need to work on each day. When you see these changes in my thoughts here, it will make more sense. It probably already does to those who have already taken the journey and climbed through some of this jungle.
Emerson is speaking to me today.
“I appeal from your customs. I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that you should. I must be myself. I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, that I will do strongly before the sun and moon whatever inly rejoices me and the heart appoints. If you are noble, I will love you; if you are not, I will not hurt you and myself by hypocritical attentions. If you are true, but not in the same truth with me, cleave to your companions; I will seek my own. I do this not selfishly but humbly and truly. It is alike your interest, and mine, and all men’s, however long we have dwelt in lies, to live in truth. Does this sound harsh to-day? You will soon love what is dictated by your nature as well as mine, and if we follow the truth it will bring us out safe at last.—But so may you give these friends pain. Yes, but I cannot sell my liberty and my power, to save their sensibility. Besides, all persons have their moments of reason, when they look out into the region of absolute truth; then will they justify me and do the same thing.
The populace think that your rejection of popular standards is a rejection of all standard, and mere antinomianism; and the bold sensualist will use the name of philosophy to gild his crimes. But the law of consciousness abides.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance and Other Essays
Day 24...Byrd, I would like a camouflage hat if you have one in your closet when my 30 day mark is achieved.
Have a great day, all! Life is short and a precious gift we are given to grow into who we are born to be.
Good Morning Army.
I haven't read the thread, but I did see your reply Molly and JC. I've been posting in the nest daily. I post in the cafe as well as a commitment to another 24 hours instead of the roll call.
I'm sharing today's post here for various reasons...a more serious post as that's where I'm at presently.
It's an up and down journey when we set out to change our lives. We often ponder about how alcohol affects our emotions at certain time periods in our quit, but I am not thinking about it in those terms this time around. I see my ups and downs in a more self reflective way. I'll have moments of clarity and joy followed by moments of a depressed state. The depressed states appear to be triggered from the past, present or worry toward the future and most importantly, not being who I should be, who I was born to be. So many things come into play in those low moments. These are often trigger moments to get a drink, but my tool box and gained knowledge are helping to have victory over those moments and feelings. I know that the alcohol will only prolong the existing struggles and inhibit intelligent, informed thought toward solving them. After my recent high to a low, I will humble myself to those periods and realize my feelings where 'I don't want to drink' can change to the opposite rapidly. I'll acknowledge this is not a stable journey, but one worth taking. The positive in these changing moods is that I am learning something in each of them. So, I can view them as a positive instead of a negative in the rear view mirror. It's where the growth is for me...those changes on a deeper level and sometimes not so deep, I need to work on each day. When you see these changes in my thoughts here, it will make more sense. It probably already does to those who have already taken the journey and climbed through some of this jungle.
Emerson is speaking to me today.
“I appeal from your customs. I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that you should. I must be myself. I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, that I will do strongly before the sun and moon whatever inly rejoices me and the heart appoints. If you are noble, I will love you; if you are not, I will not hurt you and myself by hypocritical attentions. If you are true, but not in the same truth with me, cleave to your companions; I will seek my own. I do this not selfishly but humbly and truly. It is alike your interest, and mine, and all men’s, however long we have dwelt in lies, to live in truth. Does this sound harsh to-day? You will soon love what is dictated by your nature as well as mine, and if we follow the truth it will bring us out safe at last.—But so may you give these friends pain. Yes, but I cannot sell my liberty and my power, to save their sensibility. Besides, all persons have their moments of reason, when they look out into the region of absolute truth; then will they justify me and do the same thing.
The populace think that your rejection of popular standards is a rejection of all standard, and mere antinomianism; and the bold sensualist will use the name of philosophy to gild his crimes. But the law of consciousness abides.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance and Other Essays
Day 24...Byrd, I would like a camouflage hat if you have one in your closet when my 30 day mark is achieved.
Have a great day, all! Life is short and a precious gift we are given to grow into who we are born to be.
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