I can't believe it has been 8 years

[hillsidetime]

Hi folks,

I can't believe I have been alcohol free for 8 years. It blows my mind. Every once in a while I dream I am drinking, and I get confused in my dream - because I know that
I don't want to drink, but I have forgotten. Dreams...

I want to thank those of you who are still here (and those who have moved on) who helped me through my very difficult challenges to give up drinking. I know I could not have got through those first most
difficult months and years, without MWO. All of the helpful posts, and chats - the insight, the friendship, the caring feedback and support. You folks are truly my heroes. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I know everyone has their own relationship with alcohol, and I am not judging anyone else. For me, sobering up has saved my marriage and dignity. I am a proud father who's kids know to be sober, they
don't remember me as a drunk. I like who I am. I like being sober. I like being a role model.

The battle back from rock bottom was tough. Some days, it still weighs on me, but I battle it, one day at a time - I am not proud of what I did while I was drinking for years and years, but I won't let that define me.

This is the only place in the world where I was ever able to talk about my battle with alcohol that I will have for the rest of my life. I visit here often, and read, and reflect - I don't post much, for there are others who seem so much more eloquent and able express themselves so clearly.

All the best to all of you, with your own journeys. Hold fast and battle, one craving or cue at at time.


Sincerely,

Hill

[NoSugar]

Re: I can't believe it has been 8 years

Congratulations, Hillside. Thank you for stopping by to share your good news.

There is a lot of talk about how important it is to stay connected with our support group. Do you still read MWO fairly regularly even though you don't post? Or have you not found it necessary to be involved at this point?

I enjoy my interactions here and have made some cyber friends I want to stay in touch with. Plus, I love seeing people cast off the weight of addiction and find the freedom that changes everything. But I am curious about people such as yourself who fortunately find their ways out here and then do just fine on their own. Even if I wanted to break away, the thought makes me uneasy about perhaps forgetting who I am and where I've been.

Anyway, enjoy your day! NS

[hillsidetime]

Re: I can't believe it has been 8 years

Hi NoSugar,

boy that is tough after stopping drinking, to live without sugar. Is that the genesis of your name? Or perhaps the great Guesswho song?

You make a good point, and I would agree that it is important to stay connected with a support group as time goes by on our journey dealing with addiction. I do come and visit MWO, some months of the year more often than others. I generally read and reflect, and it takes me back to my darkest days - which are memories, for me, I need to revisit once in a while - to keep me humble and honest and steadfast in my position. It is important for me not to let my guard down or to forget the cunning enemy that I am fighting. Perhaps, I feel that I might have more to offer now, at this stage in my journey - I am still working on that I think.

For me, I cannot forget who I am or where I have come from. Every time there is an advertisement on TV about drunk driving, or a plot in a film or book about an alcoholic who hurts others or him/herself, or each time someone fights addiction in any context, my past hits home very directly. I do not let my past define me, but it is part of me I guess. I certainly am a better person, at home, at work, and in terms of helping others, after working through what I have so far.

I really benefit from reading the wonderful advice, support, and loving friendship that is offered at MWO - even if it is meant for another person, the words have great impact on me as well.

Thanks for reaching out.

Hill

[NoSugar]

Re: I can't believe it has been 8 years

Thanks for answering, Hill. I don't ever want to forget but I do like the person I am now better than the one I was before I went through this whole experience so while it would have been nice to learn some life lessons in an easier way, I'm glad to have learned them. I don't want to forget those, either.

The No Sugar thing preceded No Alcohol by a few years. I like having both out of my life!

We'd love to read your ideas on the boards if you feel like jumping in sometime. Only a few people with your kind of time remain, like Lavande and JackieClaire. One thing I think would be cool about AA is getting the perspective of people with DECADES behind them. MWO isn't old enough for that and apparently most people move up and away from the site, hopefully leading peaceful and meaningful AF lives.

[paguy]

Re: I can't believe it has been 8 years

Hillside - Congratulations! I read your post with interest as I am approaching my 8 year AF mark in July. I don't think I could have done it without the invaluable support of this community. And, like you, I have not been active on these boards for quite some time. Over the past several years, I have drifted away from coming here regularly and I feel badly about that. But, after I read your post, I wanted to give you a special shout out for your 8 year anniversary!

NoSugar - Interestingly, the reason I came to the boards tonight is that I have been struggling with sugar cravings for the past 12 months and I just can't seem to get a handle on it. I am eating things I should not be eating, have gained 10 pounds, and am feeling like a slug. Any advice you can offer to help me beat these sugar cravings would be greatly appreciated! I am hoping an approach similar to the one I took to overcome my alcohol addiction may help me put these sugar cravings to bed.

Lavande - I saw your name mentioned on this thread. You were one of my favorite friends on MWO who provided me the support and guidance to help me remain AF to this day. I hope you are well and THANK YOU!

[NoSugar]

Re: I can't believe it has been 8 years

Hi, Paguy. Like with AL, if you don't feed it, it dies. I'd suggest cold turkey with no artificial sweeteners. Berries should be about the sweetest thing you eat - and after a month, you'll be amazed at how sweet they seem! Most of us have a HUGE tolerance to sweet stimulation but over time, can regain our sensitivity. One time I noticed to my amazement how sweet cashews really are!

Giving up processed foods is a big part of it- they have too much hidden sugar and low quality carbs.

L-glutamine can be used to curb sugar or carb cravings, just like with alcohol (all of them can be metabolized by the brain and a craving is just the brain demanding some fuel!). Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. Take care, NS

PS Congratulations on your many years of sobriety, too!

[available]

Re: I can't believe it has been 8 years

Congratulations Hill and Paguy on your years of sobriety. I do so love hearing from the long termers on how they are getting on. Never in my early days did i think i would make it to where i am and like NS i love MWO and the friendships i have built over the years. To me MWO is my daily accountability, its the place where i know i am understood and its safe.

Hill, i also cant forget who i was before i became the person i am now. I think its a healthy outlook to see that we never want nor choose to ever be that individual again that the life we have now is to us, perfect, in so many ways.

Thank you both for posting and checking in, it is much appreciated.

Oh Lav is still the guiding light in the nest.

[Mr Vervill]

Re: I can't believe it has been 8 years

Thanks so much for stopping by, Hill, and Paguy. It means a lot to some of us short-timers to get the perspective you can offer. Don't be strangers!

[Sunbeam]

Re: I can't believe it has been 8 years

Hillside and Pa guy, it so great when longer time sober people stop by.

Hillside, it is clear that you have forgiven yourself, yet not forgotten the past. That’s really important, I believe a significant contribution to your success.

[hillsidetime]

Re: I can't believe it has been 8 years

Hi Paguy, so nice to hear from you. That is wonderful that you are approaching your 8th year mark as well. Great work ! Perhaps not to a lot on MWO at present, but I would bet that you help many people in your life
in many ways. There are many ways to pay it forward in terms of kindness, love, and support.

Sugar cravings are nasty indeed. I feel your pain. That is a struggle I think most of us face.

Take care

Hill

[hillsidetime]

Re: I can't believe it has been 8 years

Hi Available, thanks for your kind words. I understand exactly how you feel about MWO, you express it so well I agree with you, and I choose to not be the person I once was. I am glad that you also feel that way, it is an important distinction I think.

Take care,

Hill

[hillsidetime]

Re: I can't believe it has been 8 years

Thanks Mr. Vervill, for making us feel included Have a great day.

Hill

[hillsidetime]

Re: I can't believe it has been 8 years

Hi Sunbeam, I appreciate your thoughtful feedback. Take care,

Hill