Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

[MENTION=18049]RunningCourage[/MENTION] sorry.......cross post
Now then young man, never mind the quick pop in and I know you don't want to overthink.........how were you feeling before, during and today.........and whats the next step.

Was it a case of its not fair I can't drink like others stompy feet, something worrying you, I'm too young for this shit or anyone of the above or all of the above and more.

Yous all know that my brother and his missus have retired to Scotland........just heard from him and they've given up the drink during the week.....they make their own beer and wine.....now given our family backround it made my ears prick up.

Anyhoo got to go out in the deluge need to get to the shops.

[stirly-girly]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

Yes but what I'm saying is what drove us to have that drink and embrace it's effect on us so much that we continued on to be alcoholics while others could take it or leave it.
If I was asked at 18 why I drank beers on a Saturday night - I wouldn't say it was because I was an alcoholic - would you Molls ?
We weren't BORN alcoholics ?
We weren't alcoholics when we were 10 ?
We weren't alcoholics when we got married ?

We became alcoholics - through constant exposure to alcohol and increased consumption ?
Or Have I got it wrong ?

Id say that's a logical assumption Satz, but looking back, I made sure I hung out with the girl who had the greatest access to alcohol when I was in my teens, so for me, there was something going on almost straight away. I was drinking on my own before I got married - but not enough to get noticed (I was way too clever - insert rolley eyes)..
Id agree, I was not an alcoholic then, or was I? Whats the difference between an person who thinks about alcohol A LOT but controls it somewhat and a person who thinks about alcohol A LOT and just gives in?

Night...

PS - Stirly, new chapter for you, sounds like you are really ready to embrace this one. Is your other 'friend' still around??:happy2:

And finally... uhh... fell of the proverbial wagon. Don't really want to speak about it cos i overthink things to the nth degree and need to focus on getting my ass down to the library to study/write... but just letting you know. Keeping it honest for yis.

Good morning Army!!

First and foremost to RC - good that you came back to post. What Jackie said - think it over and please realize that no matter what the problem, AL will NEVER, EVER make things better. Not even short-term. Just puts us right back where we were and could lead to an even worse problem. You know how it's done, so dust yourself off and start taking those steps again!

Mary - my "friend" has been around for over 31 years. Don't think he's going anywhere soon. :smile:

As for the early drinking - thinking back, I drank more than the others right from the first time I drank. I truly believe we inherit a gene that gives us a predisposition to being an alcoholic if the circumstances are right. Their are alcoholics on both my mother and father's side of the family. So basically, no way to avoid it. My one sister is either a problem drinker or an alcoholic. I don't have any contact with her for years now but I do see pics of her on FB and she ALWAYS has a glass of white wine in her hand. My other sister has the odd glass of wine with a meal - which she sips, and my brother enjoys his beer and a drink but to my knowledge, does not have a problem with AL. My mother doesn't drink AL because of having hemochromatosis but until she found out she had it, she liked her glass of wine and on several occasions, had more than her limit and we're talking about when she was the age I am now. So, she could have well developed a drinking problem in her later years had the hemochromatosis not been discovered. I said - circumstances because, for example, alcohol was prohibited in our house because of religious reasons - I was raised Protestant and no alcohol was allowed. My parents first had a drink when I brought a bottle of bubbly wine to Thanksgiving dinner when I was about 19. My father told me it was not allowed in the house and my response was that if he didn't allow it, then I would leave and take the bottle with me. We ended up opening it to have with Thanksgiving dinner and that got the ball rolling. My parents started to have the occasional glass of wine with their meals and in his later years - after 70 or so, my Dad had a couple of cans of beer a day. He was very sick and the beer helped to smooth out the edges a bit. Anyway, I think that if he had started drinking in his younger days, he may have ended up like one of his half-brothers and half-sister, both of which were alcoholics. My guess is that my Mom would have gone the same route. So, I truly believe we inherit the genes but I also believe that circumstances have a lot to do with it. I think that my living in Greece played a big role in how much and how often I drank. It is a given thing here that wine is served with the meals - we have always been able to buy AL beverages of any kind in the supermarkets and they are dead cheap, even now. A bottle of whiskey that costs $45. in Canada costs about 16 euro here. And you used to be able to buy liquors in bulk. Take your bottle to the local shop and get it filled up!! Anyway, nuff of that.

Lovely weather here - spring is definitely in the air even tho' the temperature was only 8C when I left for work at 7:00 a.m. Hope youz all have a great day!!!

[mollyka]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

Yes but what I'm saying is what drove us to have that drink and embrace it's effect on us so much that we continued on to be alcoholics while others could take it or leave it.
If I was asked at 18 why I drank beers on a Saturday night - I wouldn't say it was because I was an alcoholic - would you Molls ?
We weren't BORN alcoholics ?
We weren't alcoholics when we were 10 ?
We weren't alcoholics when we got married ?

We became alcoholics - through constant exposure to alcohol and increased consumption ?
Or Have I got it wrong ?

Arsey - you say you don't want to dwell on it - so I will accept that.. Jackie asks a few questions - maybe just put the answers for them into your head while the intent is still clear.... good you are here and for the min - if that's what you want - I will say no more xxx

mmm - interesting questions - and as always I'm only talking about me.... we HERE are all alcoholics - but we are not drinking. Does that make us not alcoholics? No of course not - and yet - unless someone is physically problematically drinking we don't 'brand' someone as an alcoholic -- but easily 50% of addiction (probably way more) is in our heads - so yes - frankly I think most of us are born alcoholics.. Mary says she was drinking alone before she got married - was I? No - I wasn't - does that make me less of an alcoholic than Mary? Hardly -- I ended up in a treatment centre and she felt 'concerned' about her drinking and quit.... so MO's are completely different - and time lines - but the common thread is there - a mental obsession (may be too strong a word for it but you get my drift) from the time alcohol was introduced into our lives

In my case I THINK alcohol was always too important in social situations - to ME -- in my head -- but no one but me would have known - and tbh - - most of my pals seemed the same - physically and outwardly alcohol didn't become a 'problem' to me until pretty recent times... so when did I BECOME the addict....???

[mollyka]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

A small 'aside' that I THINK makes my point...Sunday - had the whole mob out for dinner - went ALL out cos Joe will be in the cast from tomorrow so no entertaining for a good while - Sunday morning -- NO -- that's a lie -- before that - up in the supermarket Sat morning I thought about the fact that I had no wine for the dinner (Christmas day I always have a few bottles - rarely more than one bottle drank between the lot of them - but they are there) - Off-license wasn't open that early so left it at that - so Sunday morn said it to Joe - he (being imo a vaguely marginal addict/ problem drinker in his day) thought about it for a minute or two and just said 'if they want it they can bring it themselves' -- so I thought more about it - didn't buy any -- BUT -- they all arrived and I KNOW -- I don't just think I know --- I KNOW -- not one of them were even aware that there was no wine -- so - 12 adults - me (the addict) thinking about 'should we' - himself (the marginal heavy drinker) - 'nah - maybe' -- and the rest ---- NOTHING --- that's normal - just cos we are addicts here - we think WE are normal.... if you get my drift ;-)

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

My FIL got haemochromatosis, kids and Mr JC had to be checked as it can be hereditary. They're all clear.

Anyhoo. Last time I bought alcohol was Christmas........M&S port for himself. If its needed (is alcohol ever needed ) Mr JC gets it......I'll be buggered if I'm doing it or the S&H brings it in from work.

Here's another question.......when was the last time you actually enjoyed an alcoholic drink...........For me it was always an end to get hammered.......then it became a need to stave off withdrawals.......getting that first drink down so the hands stop shaking, the nausea abates...actually more often I would puke the first one up.....but like a good alkie wasn't going to let that put me off......its madness. I've just had thought ping into my head its an actual form of self harming.

Right I must take some painkillers, somehow buggered me back....:sad:

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

Molls, how long's Joe, going to be in his cast and will he have to have blood thinning injections.........Mr JC did with his hip.
OMG we're now at the age we're talking hip and bone replacements.

[stirly-girly]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

Here's another question.......when was the last time you actually enjoyed an alcoholic drink...........For me it was always an end to get hammered.......then it became a need to stave off withdrawals.......getting that first drink down so the hands stop shaking, the nausea abates...actually more often I would puke the first one up.....but like a good alkie wasn't going to let that put me off......its madness. I've just had thought ping into my head its an actual form of self harming.

Right I must take some painkillers, somehow buggered me back....:sad:

Jackie - hope your back is better soon!!

As for the "enjoying" - I used to be gagging for that first drink and the soothing feeling that relaxes you, but it got to the point that drinking was actually a nightmare! I would have that first drink and very quickly find myself unable to totally control my movements - you know, hand would not go exactly where you wanted it to - you don't actually stumble but your steps just aren't right, you speak but you don't talk in your normal fashion - things like that. And that would be after the first drink, about 9 pm. Then continuing to drink to pass-out stage while trying not to let it show even tho' the drinking was in my room by myself. God help the phone should ring after 9:30 because I was in no shape to carry on a logical conversation and I would panic thinking that whoever was on the other end could tell something wasn't right and that would make it even worse. Then having to walk the dog having had a few stiff ones and hoping I didn't run into a neighbour while I was out. A fecking nightmare is what it was - not at all enjoyable and I think that's the main reason I don't miss it and it wasn't so difficult for me to get and stay sober. It was a relief to be able to act normally and not have to worry about someone realizing I'd been drinking. AND to have back the control over my physical actions. Never mind the fact that I didn't have to check my supply to see if I had enough to get hammered every evening. Being sober is the most freeing experience - all the chains are broken, the clouds are gone and the possibilities are endless. I simply will never allow myself to go back to that kind of existence. No joy in it at all, just misery...

[satz123]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

not at all enjoyable and I think that's the main reason I don't miss it and it wasn't so difficult for me to get and stay sober. It was a relief to be able to act normally and not have to worry about someone realizing I'd been drinking. AND to have back the control over my physical actions. Never mind the fact that I didn't have to check my supply to see if I had enough to get hammered every evening. Being sober is the most freeing experience - all the chains are broken, the clouds are gone and the possibilities are endless. I simply will never allow myself to go back to that kind of existence. No joy in it at all, just misery...

That is exactly why I stopped and stayed stopped too Stirls. The total 'longing' to be normal is something I have never forgotten.
So once I got a taste of it - I wanted it more than I wanted a drink of alcohol.

[MENTION=18049]RunningCourage[/MENTION] :hug:
What you want to do next ?
Did you fall catastrophically off the wagon ?
How did you feel ?

Get back here & post. You don't have to be sober to post here ya know?

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

Just a quickie........Mr JC's just home and the fecking exhaust is dropping off the car.........

[mollyka]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

poxy exhaust -- but they ain't too expensive...

an uneasy feeling here.. the way you and Stirls describe your drinking days... bearing in mind I'm a raving alkie -- NO if's or but's -- none... but it wasn't like that for me.. it really wasn't -- most of the time - I liked drinking - right up to the end.. yes there were times I drank when I didn't want to - and yes there were plenty of times that were just the hair of the dog.. but generally -- I still liked it -- so would I be right in saying that for someone who wasn't a raving alkie like me - would they read that and think - genuinely --- 'I wasn't that bad'? -- and I don't doubt for a second that you both felt like that about your drinking - and if I had felt like that I'd have quit in a blink of an eye -- but I didn't --

[mollyka]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

Molls, how long's Joe, going to be in his cast and will he have to have blood thinning injections.........Mr JC did with his hip.
OMG we're now at the age we're talking hip and bone replacements.

No idea bout any of it really - he'll be in for two days and he'll be in a cast for 6 weeks - and no he doesn't need injections or teeth checking nor nothing - apparently he's fit as a flea..

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

He also had to have a special toilet seat.........one for home and one for work. What a palaver.
Ohh and he had to move around a lot, so don't let Joe sit a lot..........mention things like blood clots, thrombosis.......frightens the living daylights out of them and they soon shift.

The car's drivable so he'll take to see if they can fix a new exhaust........if not......the lad next door's at the auctions tomorrow and will keep his eye out for another banger that'll see us over the holiday and we can decide on what to do when we get back.

Better feed him, very late tonight as I forgot to put the oven on.

[mollyka]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

problem with Joe is to STOP him 'doing' things - he's s'posed to put his foot up for 6 weeks -- he won't do it - not in a million years - so chance would be a fine thing for thrombosis or any such!!
doesn't seem that long since you got that car? surely you wouldn't need a new one just for an exhaust??

[satz123]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

poxy exhaust -- but they ain't too expensive...

an uneasy feeling here.. the way you and Stirls describe your drinking days... bearing in mind I'm a raving alkie -- NO if's or but's -- none... but it wasn't like that for me.. it really wasn't -- most of the time - I liked drinking - right up to the end.. yes there were times I drank when I didn't want to - and yes there were plenty of times that were just the hair of the dog.. but generally -- I still liked it -- so would I be right in saying that for someone who wasn't a raving alkie like me - would they read that and think - genuinely --- 'I wasn't that bad'? -- and I don't doubt for a second that you both felt like that about your drinking - and if I had felt like that I'd have quit in a blink of an eye -- but I didn't --

I couldn't like or enjoy it - I wanted to be normal. Drinking alone & hiding bottles was not 'normal'. So by the end - like the cigarettes - I hated it.
When I came here to MWO it was to just stop drinking during the week alone at home. Just drink when I went out.
I learned here that moderation would not work .....
So having seen Jacks, You , Mario and many many others and how you described such 'nice' 'normal' lives without alcohol I wanted that too.

[satz123]

Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018

[MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION]. We've driven with an exhaust actually tied up with string back in the day :haha:
They can weld it ?