Thanks, Satzy. Our marriage was over a long time ago but I was never able financially to leave. And maybe a little afraid to do it as well. While drinking, staying with him was the easy thing to do. Now that younger son and I manage the family business, I have the means to support myself and have also found the inner strength necessary to make such a move. Not easy as I am almost 66 years old, but living in that situation is something I will no longer allow myself to do. I don't know that I will find happiness but at least if I am content it will be a big improvement over being so discontented. So it's one foot in front of the other and on we go!! The main thing is to support younger son right now and that is my main focus.
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Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018
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Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018
Originally posted by satz123 View Post
Thanks, Satzy. Our marriage was over a long time ago but I was never able financially to leave. And maybe a little afraid to do it as well. While drinking, staying with him was the easy thing to do. Now that younger son and I manage the family business, I have the means to support myself and have also found the inner strength necessary to make such a move. Not easy as I am almost 66 years old, but living in that situation is something I will no longer allow myself to do. I don't know that I will find happiness but at least if I am content it will be a big improvement over being so discontented. So it's one foot in front of the other and on we go!! The main thing is to support younger son right now and that is my main focus.Last edited by stirly-girly; April 2, 2018, 05:25 AM.For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
AF since 10/10/2015:yay:
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Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018
Got interrupted.........phone rang.......Jenny's coming up for a flying visit to see her grandparents.
Honestly Stirls, good for you.........not only alcohol free but husband free as well. This is your time now..........get out there gallivanting and enjoy.It could be worse, I could be filing.
AF since 7/7/2009
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Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018
WELL DONE Stirly - I know you haven't been happy together this long time - and how right you are to reclaim your life.. the 'on the spectrum' part of me I have to be honest would maybe have groaned a wee bit at having my new found wonderful solitude compromised... there - I've said it - but that IS just me - I'm a loner... and it's wonderful of you to help out your son... achully -- not only am I a loner - I'm unscrupulously selfish...
and what does himself feel about being on his own? Or are you talking??Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
contentedly NF since 8/04/14
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Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018
Originally posted by mollyka View PostMorning everyone else --- laughing at myself - thought I was 3 years off the cigarettes on the 8th -- it's not --- it's 4
When I was younger I was happier with just one or two friends or my own company and a book could not see the appeal of great gangs of girls/women. Still can't.It could be worse, I could be filing.
AF since 7/7/2009
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Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018
Oh Stirls that is what sober is all about. Don't accept second best ............. I applaud you I really do :applause:
I'm with Molls - don't make that living arrangement a permanent thing :haha:
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Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018
Originally posted by JackieClaire View PostWhen I was younger I was happier with just one or two friends or my own company and a book could not see the appeal of great gangs of girls/women. Still can't.
And when I think about it I think the drink helped when we HAD to socialise or be the odd one.
And maybe that's why we married young too ? Get outta that social scene of nightclubs & pubs - that I HATED.Last edited by satz123; April 2, 2018, 07:16 AM.
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Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018
Originally posted by satz123 View PostMe too Jacks.
And when I think about it I think the drink helped when we HAD to socialise or be the odd one.
And maybe that's why we married young too ? Get outta that social scene of nightclubs & pubs - that I HATED.Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
contentedly NF since 8/04/14
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Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018
I just realized that I got married for the first time the day before Stirly back in 1975.........just two days after my 19th birthday..........thank all that is good in this world and beyond I got out of that one when I was 25ish. Got married young because I thought it was lurrrrrrrrrrrve (excuse me while I laugh) and honestly wanted to get away from my mother. I brought shame by divorcing. Luckily my Granny was always on my side and told me she never liked him.
Was I drinking alcoholically back then???.......always the first to finish and drink and always wanted one more before closing time.........so I suppose yes.It could be worse, I could be filing.
AF since 7/7/2009
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Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018
Originally posted by mollyka View PostI know before I had 'treatment' for my addiction I used to say I drank when younger because I was shy (which I was - excrutiatingly shy) - but now - I dunno - if I said that now I'd feel like I was making an excuse - nowadays if someone asked me why I drank - my only answer that feels truthful is because I'm an alcoholic... maybe that's splitting hairs but.. it FEELS like it's important to me... not sure why tbh
If I was asked at 18 why I drank beers on a Saturday night - I wouldn't say it was because I was an alcoholic - would you Molls ?
We weren't BORN alcoholics ?
We weren't alcoholics when we were 10 ?
We weren't alcoholics when we got married ?
We became alcoholics - through constant exposure to alcohol and increased consumption ?
Or Have I got it wrong ?
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Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018
Originally posted by satz123 View PostYes but what I'm saying is what drove us to have that drink and embrace it's effect on us so much that we continued on to be alcoholics while others could take it or leave it.
If I was asked at 18 why I drank beers on a Saturday night - I wouldn't say it was because I was an alcoholic - would you Molls ?
We weren't BORN alcoholics ?
We weren't alcoholics when we were 10 ?
We weren't alcoholics when we got married ?
We became alcoholics - through constant exposure to alcohol and increased consumption ?
Or Have I got it wrong ?
Id agree, I was not an alcoholic then, or was I? Whats the difference between an person who thinks about alcohol A LOT but controls it somewhat and a person who thinks about alcohol A LOT and just gives in?
Night...
PS - Stirly, new chapter for you, sounds like you are really ready to embrace this one. Is your other 'friend' still around??:happy2:AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:
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Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018
Originally posted by satz123 View PostYes but what I'm saying is what drove us to have that drink and embrace it's effect on us so much that we continued on to be alcoholics while others could take it or leave it.
If I was asked at 18 why I drank beers on a Saturday night - I wouldn't say it was because I was an alcoholic - would you Molls ?
We weren't BORN alcoholics ?
We weren't alcoholics when we were 10 ?
We weren't alcoholics when we got married ?
We became alcoholics - through constant exposure to alcohol and increased consumption ?
Or Have I got it wrong ?Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
contentedly NF since 8/04/14
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Re: Join up!! Army against the grog !!! April 2018
Morning all - quick pop in to say
a) Good to see you Stirly - big life changes indeed and hope all the changes lead to more contentment and happiness
b) Whizzy - glad mr A is on the mend. Let's see if we can meet in London :thumbsup:
c) How's my favourite Doc doing? The thing about chocolate and me is that when I was a kid... say until I was about 18, it was all or nothing. I'd stock pile chocolate and then have a glorifying feast. But now... i still stock pile, but nibble. Means my stock is growing faster than my nibbling :haha:
d) Molls - 4 years off the cigs - awesome stuff.
And finally... uhh... fell of the proverbial wagon. Don't really want to speak about it cos i overthink things to the nth degree and need to focus on getting my ass down to the library to study/write... but just letting you know. Keeping it honest for yis.
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