oh

[rachel28]

i cant explain what im thinking now, wish i could, so many 100s of thoughts an theory going round in my head, 2 many to think clearly about 1 thing, could b the ridiculous amount ive drunk, 2day, i cant make excuses its pointless, i should put the can 2 my mouth 2 start but,e thu i stopped moderating, no exceptions on the behaviour, ! i have been to help my dad 2day, bf dropped me of, when i called him 2 pick me up guess where he was, over limit in pub, yes its fathers i know but, ..... mayb its me an my problem i dont know but i seriously donnt think he will stay wiv me if im af, i have told him 2night i what time i opened 1st can ,he was horrifie d , 1 cos he thought he heard all, i had 4 b4 he noticed, oh im a saadddoooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fire31]

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Hi Rachel... sounds like a hard day... try not to be too hard on your loved ones and moreso not too hard on yourself. Slips like these happen, to all of us, with this particular problem.... but Tomorrow is a new day!

I for one have had many slips recently, and it's been very hard to keep perspective and not let the alcohol skew my thoughts into too dark a place, as is usually the case after a lapse... But, I'm back on the track (Day 3 for me, after my last slip). I can do it, no matter how long it takes, and you can too!

Sending good vibes your way today!!! Take care...

[rachel28]

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thanks yesterday was bad but good, in a way, i havent been af free YET for years still trying to reduce the amount i have been drinking, as its got to a ridiculos amount and at ridiculous times of the day, im tryin to belive that bf is behind me, BUT he likes a beer an feels he has no problem, im not so sure, he does control it better than me, he dosnt drink in the mornings like me, and can take it or leave it,i have been almost completly honest with him, almost told him all the hiding places but he is still buying beer 24 at a go, an goin pub, it feels like he dosent want me to stop, as then he wont have me as his excuse, maybe im using him as an excuse after all its me with this probl,em, i should get the will power not to do it, congrats to u for your determination, and thanks for your encouragment, an well done 4 understanding what i was on about in last post(slightly drunk!!) fell asleep in front of bloody computer writing !!! xx hope u have good week this week

[rottrod]

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Rachel have you cut out the brandy? Are you just drinking beer now?
If you really want to do this, you have to do it for you, whether he is behind you or not. It will just be easier if he is. We are all behind you and are pulling for you.

Try to drink one can less again today, you can do it.

Melissa

[rachel28]

oh

thanks 4 the support, i have not touched a drop of brandy for 2weeks!!! i know thats evil stuff, an i can drink it forever so im gonna stay well away from it, last week i done pretty well reducing the intake just weekend got screwed up, i only have 2 an half beers in the house an no money!!! looks like i will have to reduce by a LOT today!! an i ve got a day off, im going to clean the conservatory windows i have been putting it off for ages, will take me mind of it, just hope i dont shake my way off the ladder, quite shaky already!! u know what its klike when some1 keeps filling the damm fridge its temptation, i dont know what else to say to him, i told him i drank 4 beers yesterday before 10, i was hiding in the shower gluggin, then pouring beers into a mug an pretending to make 2 coffees , i even stirred his cup twice to make it sound like i had 1!!! i told him all this last night , he had no clue what id been up 2, god beer makes u sneaky, xx thanks again mel xxxxx

[rottrod]

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Rachel that's good you cut out the brandy, that's a big step. Be careful on the ladder. You are doing fine. Try to maintain until your shakes go away and then cut back some more. Keep coming back here ok. Drink lots of water to flush the toxins out of your body and keep yourself hydrated. Make sure you eat and are you taking any vitamins? Just checking.

Mel

[Pisces]

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Hi again,

It's so hard at times I know, I go well for a bit and feel great then I slip up big time and get so down on myself.

No excuses, but I broke up with my bf of a year a little while ago, and I think due to my PTSD I'm having a delayed reaction to it all.

Anyway, I've got my determination back, and sending some to you too.

Take care,

Love Jas

[rachel28]

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thanks, im quite proud i cut the brandy, i have got multivitamins an omega 3, i dont eat fish i hate it, omega 3 is good for memory isant it, i will b on the water later hopefully, im fed up wiv coffee already!! i have got to get the motivation to do this cleaning, im sweating like a pig already an im just typing, the shakes r comin on lovely , can feel it , every half hr i havent opened a beer its gettin worse, at least i dont got to work today! thanks 4 caring, u r very wise, i am listening to all the wise words said to me here thanks all, xx

[rachel28]

oh

hi , were u together a long time, not that time makes any difference it always hurts hey, im glad u r ok, i know how it hurts, an know the way ive always coped! obliteration!! its not the best way tho ey,im in my longest relationship now 3 yrs, quite pathetic really, my last ex broke my heart, he lived next door, that was horrible i think thats when i seriously got bad, seeing him go past all the time, have u got appointment for counciller yet, that should help,

[rachel28]

oh

im am really thick, a year u were together!! thats long enough to really hurt, xxxx

[diamond]

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Rachel,

I have been keeping an eye out for your posts cos' you are doing really well, to stay off the brandy is really great.

Just keep going, try and eat well and drinks in between the beer. Like non-alcoholic beer if possible - its the same strength (0.05 - 0.5%) as the bottled Shandy you can get in the supermarkets like ASDA or somerfileds. It makes you feel you are drinking real beer but real beer is 4-9%).

Are you drinking the extra strong cans of beer or the normal strength?

If the srongest why don't you drink one strong beer then one lower strength then one alcohol free beer in that order, so that if you drink 16 a day at least 4 would be no alcohol and 4 would be normal strength.
Just a thought?

You can also buy 2% beer if you buy ASDA's, Somerfields, tesco's own cheap brand which is less than 99p for 4 cans, this could help you cut down too.

I used to drink everyday but after 4pm so I know how you feel, the alcohol free drinks are my life saver cos I feel I am drinking the regular brands!! Ha ha to my brain !! I fooled it.

Take care
Diamond xx

[beatle]

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Rachel, you're doing great. We've all had those bad days, you gotta go through it, though.

You are sweating out toxins so even though it feels shitty, it's good. The more water you drink the faster it will go and the better you will feel.

Not too much to do about the shaking but don't drink too much coffee and the suggested supps/herbs help. I take a bunch of Valerian (a strong herbal pill that relaxes you) to calm me down. Usually it takes at least the maximum recommended dose to have an effect -- or even a little more ;-)

Anyway, as long as you are just reducing and not trying to stop cold turkey on your own, I think you are going great. Keep it up.

[rachel28]

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thanks u guys! i have tried valerian, i was eatin handfulls not the dosage, i may try it properly, diamond, wow good idea, my brain is not 2 quick, so ill try it, im on 1st sips of 1st can an its 10 o clock, wa hooo ok its not ideal but it s not 7 am as usual, hope all is well diamond an beatle u r brill at the supps an stuff arent u xx

[ScoobyDoo]

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Rachel, you know what I am seeing in you? One very determined person!

It's a bloody hard habit to kick and even harder when you've got those temptations like a fridge full of beer. I totally agree that your bf is (probably unintentionally) sabotaging your efforts. I really hope your bf makes some changes and respects what you've entrusted in him with your honesty and cry for help. If he doesn't, then I'd be turning to my family and giving this bloke the big old heave-ho so you can get on with a good life that is free of this horrible downward spiral.

The fact that you're logging back on here and facing what you'd posted the night before when drunk speaks volumes for your search for a solution. I take my hat off to you and I'm right behind you (along with everyone else here)... I think these baby steps are heading exactly in the right direction.

And bloody well done on giving the brandy away! Good stuff Rachel!

Scoobs

[rachel28]

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oh thanks, yes was a bit drunk as u probly could tell!!! at least i was safely locked indoors, !! i nearly left bf wek an bit ago, to many drunken rows about nothing, i love him dearly but i dont think he understands me, hes 43, an im 28, he does things his way and its hard goin tryin 2 make him c my way, 4 example his son, nearly 15, he is in danger of goin down a slippery slope, if we arent carefull, he wont take my advic on disipline front an has given me no authority to doi t my self, he wont stop drinkin long enuf to c r life cud b bliss, im tryin hard to make him c, i dont want 2 b on my own again, i was a single mum 4 7 years, parts were good, when i wasnt drinkin, im goin on now arent i, my family r not very supportive, ive always been a pain in the arse accordin to mum, an we dont c much of each other, her bf hates me, i cant tell mum anything as she likes to gloat , so to all u guys thanks again,