August Army Manoevres

[sweetpea29]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Thanks Molls
With regard to the letter - I have on many occasion sent the equivalent - an email - telling him how it is affecting us - but I think he is so low now - it'd be like kicking a puppy !
We have been really brutally honest with him me, his sister Mr S in a shouty way.
I am truly afraid sometimes that he now has nothing left - he may harm himself as a last resort. That will stop me throwing him out every time.

:hug::hug: Satz - no words, just thoughts x

[satz123]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Anyhoo - best move myself....... thanks for listening youse two.
Mother awaits ..... at least she's happy in her little world
She can't remember to be worried about anything ........

[JackieClaire]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Had to answer a few phone calls.............trying to get a group of family and friends to go to what is basically an Indian food festival is like trying to get an octopus in a string bag.

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]..........have one of these to start :hug:

How's about a letter to show him all the things that are good about sobriety......read it together..........tell him your experiences. In fact, share some of our experiences........I know when I was in the grip I couldn't give a flying fuck whether I lived or died...........it doesn't have to be like that.

Perhaps an ordinary counsellor.........when I say ordinary I mean one that's not primarily drug and alcohol.

He will more than likely after court to have to attend drug and alcohol awareness classes. Don't think its compulsary and I the courts look more kindly on them. It will open his eyes.

And for you, darling, get to Al-anon............get those counselling sessions. There may be many tears but it'll do you the world of good.

[starty]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Oh satz my heart breaks for you.
Not sure I have anything to add than the wise ones have said....

Does he know that most of us were probably suicidal before quitting. I know I wanted to die. And stopping it would help with that. Not sure if you have the ability to get him sectioned in a mental health facility? I think that maybe what would have been the next step with my dad. Also years ago my doctor kindly said they would section me if I didnt sort myself out. Is that something your medical pros could advise?

I would defo go down the al anon route and counselling for myself also and the intervention letter. Do they do interventions over there at all? The thing that most strikes me is YOU need the help so you and Mr S dont feel so alone with such an insurmountable problem.

[rustop59]

Re: August Army Manoevres

:hug::hug:Satz, look after yourself. Went west on Wednesday and only have my phone so find it hard to post. Great conversations this week, back on Sunday so normal posting will resume.

[RunningCourage]

Re: August Army Manoevres

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION] - YOU come first. Have to. I'm sure I read here, definitely recently, that you know when yer on a plane and they do the safety stuff before flying, and they talk about he oxygen masks - that you MUST put yours on BEFORE your baby's/kids one. Well, just think that you need to give yourself the ability to breath, to be, to look after you, no matter what happens to YS. You'll be in a better place to deal with him (whatever 'dealing' with him might mean) if you are well and healthy in yourself.

Other than that i can only agree with what the wisest of wise ladies have said above. The letter sounds a good idea.

TFI Friday. Mac and cheese tonight. Back in a bit -

[mollyka]

Re: August Army Manoevres

:sad: are you for Newry Molls? Was there yesterday myself!

Know we don't discuss politics here but it's something I've a huge interest in and since that referendum my heart has been broke. My family and friends are spread across this island. 2 Granny's born over the 'border' before it even existed. I remember being stopped at 'customs' many, many times in past just going to visit family. The thought of any of that happening again is unimaginable:sad:

I truly cannot believe the nonsense that's going on - the YEARS of negotiating to get to where we are.... jeez they will throw it up in the air - whatever they want to do with their own country over there I can't believe they would re-visit this bollix over here... I COULD go on - but look - you feel the same so we are singing from the same hymn sheet - yup was up in Newry - they've a Marks and Spencer in the Quays now so it was dead handy for all the bits and pieces in one place... Eddie Rockets for us - amazing burger and cheese and garlic fries

Thanks Piddlepie...... I agree - MWO saved me too.
I am gone beyond protecting him Sweets - I'm sick of him.
He says he hates drinking but I then sometimes think he will say what he wants me to hear. He'll say yes he has a problem - but usually when he has a hangover & everyone is upset with him.
And if I'm truthful I am more upset that he is messing up our lives by living here. If he left - I would not shed a tear - that is what he has done. He is now just a black cloud that hovers over the house constantly.

I hated drinking most of the time at the end.. I hated the mess my life was - not even how I felt inside - but the constant anxiety and needing to sneak and stock up and all that shite... but I didn't hate it enough to quit - but - well you often ask me what ACTUALLY got me going.... well it only needed a little tip - it needed someone to show me (and pardon the appalling cliché here - but I mean it literally) the way out... and they did (the family) - but that's what you are doing and it's not enough for him... so he needs something more... so what's the next available option -- Starty's idea of a sectioning? Put him out? you've answered that yourself and I understand... I dunno any other answers - but maybe an expert would..

[JackieClaire]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Better not do politics but there's a lot of like-minded people singing from that hymn sheet.
Going to have a look at a new car tomorrow..........well not new...........used ........second hand and only driven by on a Sunday by a sweet old lady well that's what the garage say so it must be true. Keep yer fingers crossed.
Forgot to feed the dog and lunchtime, forgot that I had my jammies on when I nipped upstairs to put my jammies on about 5pm and lost my glasses while I had them on my head.

The word 'yet' echoes around my head when I hear it.........I was never as bad as him or her................yet. I never drank in the morning............yet. I never drove when I was drunk............yet. I was never in trouble with the law............yet.

I heard a share recently from a woman who has shed loads of money, designer clothes, fabulous clothes.........and her rock bottom was when she was raking round the back of the settees to find enough money to go and get a bottle of that gut rotting cheap cider at the corner shop to keep her going 'til she could get to a cash point.

[sweetpea29]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Hey folks😊

Are ye all in the leabas?

Oh Jacks a newish car! Excitement! Let's hope the sweet ol lady didn't go a rallying on a Sunday! Only ever had 2 cars in my 20 + years driving. Don't like change or car dealers me!

Satz- thinking of ya m'dear x No more words or advice. Just hope you do look after you in it all, much as I know, it's nigh on impossible when yer head is wrecked with worry. How was yer Mam?

Yo Molls haven't been in Eddie Rockets in Newry yet. Sounds nice! Don't like the car park in the Quays so rarely venture there! Went to B&Q yesterday and only was in Daddy's car (too small) would've been coming home with these amazing screening shrubs- huge, in a tub, £40 down from £120!!! Just what I need for my own garden in the city.
Did I ever tell yiz one of my many other addictions was buying plants. Had to literally ban myself from garden centres
That's where I wanna work when I leave nursing!

Yo D'Arsey- how was the Mac n cheese? (Funny that was my nickname in work due to surname!)
Chinese takeaway here and again did not enjoy. Something I used to devour. My whole appetite/palate is changing.

Hi everyone else, MrsA, Starts, Rustop, Mary Bridget are ya ever outa that bed yet?

Started painting Daddy's kitchen today. Took forever to clean and prep. Fell off the worktop in a heap on floor at one point- feckin more paint on the floor than ceiling😂

[IamMary]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Evening all.
Im a bit like Bridge this week, a lot of familly stuff. Another party (here :egad tomorrow night and that will round up the celebrations! My folks dont usually celebrate like this, but with a few deaths over the years, they are embracing life I suppose.
House is sparkling if anyone wants to visit.. Its also coming down with booze, but thankfully its sits there, like milk in the fridge, Im not really thinking about it.

I wish I had a magical answer for you Satz, that would fix everything, .
Mollys letter is a great idea, its worth a shot. Even take a different angle, especially if you think he could harm himself - tell him you love him so much, every bone in his body, your devastated, would be even more devastated if anything were to happen to him etc etc. Bring up good memories and achievements hes done. I donno, maybe thats pointless.....

[IamMary]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Started painting Daddy's kitchen today. Took forever to clean and prep. Fell off the worktop in a heap on floor at one point- feckin more paint on the floor than ceiling��

:harhar:

Missed you there SweetPea, go to bed, your safe there!!

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Hey folks


Did I ever tell yiz one of my many other addictions was buying plants. Had to literally ban myself from garden centres
That's where I wanna work when I leave nursing!



Oh me too. I sneak into them as if they were a bottle shop, and I do the rounds of them like a bottle shop too!!!

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Morning



You'll have to ask Molls who she found in her bed at boarding school.....

?????

[mollyka]

Re: August Army Manoevres

?????

Hah! Well most here know this one - as jacks says i was in boarding school - was doing my inter cert ( bout age 14) and only exam students still in school so quiet - until one night - about 11pm the curtains in front of my cell were flung open and this man LAUNCHED himself onto me in the bed - little group of nuns giggling feebly and a strange glorious looking young woman - turns out it was Keith Moon - his partner was a past pupil of the school!!!! Played drums for us down in orchestra hall an all then sent us on a drum kit afterwards!!! Yeah I was in bed with the great Keith Moon:welldone::welldone:

[RunningCourage]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Morning AT Molls - canny mind if i knew that story of you and the Moon!
[MENTION=18312]sweetpea29[/MENTION] - mac and cheese was LOVELY. Next time I want to make my own - not to control it, but because I love cooking and know I can make one just as nice without preservatives they whack into ready meals. But cheese sauce - Is. Fucking. YUMMY :haha:

I;m not going to concern myself too much with this, but I do think I don't get enough rest - not the best nights sleep, like up at 2am wide awake and not sure why (not AL related - not had a drop in a couple of weeks now)... And then I wake up after an average of 6 hours rest and that's it, done. Until I roll over at 10pm / 11pm. Have to say I drop off like a baby - indeed i drop off nearly as quick as i did when i'd had a few... but no doubt the rest i do get is WAY better.

No plans this weekend - will do a run this morning and a few boring things like prep for scenes to direct for the show / job application (i still need to officially apply for the post at the new school) / school prep.... all very YAWN.

Back laters - have a good / lazy morning troops