United Nations of MWO

[satz123]

Re: United Nations of MWO

The gas thing about Captain Clueless was that he WAS (clueless) at the time I thought he was all over my drinking - he'd come in from work and sigh deeply - me presuming he had smelled the grog - apparently not - at all - never??!! Ffs talk about paranoia!

That's what I mean Molls - I felt invisible - how closely did they even look at us - sad isn't it ?

[Pavati]

Re: United Nations of MWO

I think EVERYONE starts drinking for those reasons (except maybe health??

The difference is, we were, for whatever reason, vulnerable to alcohol. I think those reasons can be many, but I do think that's the common denominator.

I had a discussion with a friend who was seriously contemplating if it was actually healthier for him to have one drink a night to relax and sleep. (I of course asked him if it really WAS one drink and if it really WAS 1.5 ounces...)

And my husband was not clueless but didn't care - I was his drinking buddy!

[NoSugar]

Re: United Nations of MWO

In the later years I OBVIOUSLY wasn't drinking for health reasons and knew my health was suffering. But, when I started drinking (in my 30s), one of the reasons was for the "health benefits" of a glass of red wine with dinner. I didn't even like how it tasted for quite a long time (eventually thought I loved it, of course) but continued on, probably because I also was trying to fit in with my "sophisticated" wine-snob peers. For years it was just the one glass per day with many days skipped. But at some point, that constant exposure (and whatever else about me made me susceptible) resulted in dependence and addiction. The only thing I drank was red wine until I started trying to moderate and thought maybe I could do that with white wine, since I didn't even like it. Well... I suddenly developed a great fondness for it and spiraled back out of control. Clearly it was the effect, not the taste, that I craved. Man, just typing that out makes me so relieved and grateful to be DONE with it!!

[Jude58]

Re: United Nations of MWO

That's what I mean Molls - I felt invisible - how closely did they even look at us - sad isn't it ?

I can really relate to feeling invisible. When the booze started to ravage my body, both inside and out, I finally went to my doctor and asked for help. My husband came with me and the doc asked me several questions about my drinking. As I responded to her questions, my husband was truly shocked at my answers. He had no idea that I was drinking in the mornings, driving to and working half drunk, and that my many health problems were mostly alcohol related. He looked at me and said, "I had no clue....I guess that I should have been paying more attention."

My hubby drinks more than a "normal" drinker does, but nothing even close to what I was pouring down my throat everyday. May he just didn't want to see things as they really were because he just might have to take a closer look at his own alcohol consumption. :frown-new:

[abcowboy]

For all my American friends....we too remember....

[abcowboy]

I’ve been pm’ing back and forth with one of the members and they made a statement that I asked and received permission to use as a basis for a post….

It’s shocking how people can have so much sober time behind them, then have trouble getting back on the wagon when they fall off. Scary!

First things first, I’m not pointing fingers at anyone, as a matter of fact I want to extend my sincere thanks to those of you who fall under the above quote. You have no idea how your stories help the rest of us, and there’s a lesson in those stories for the newcomers as well.

To be quite honest, it’s those stories and shared experiences that keep me logging in at MWO every day, that and the fact that maybe my constant babbling might help someone else. You see, there are times when I think I’ve got this sobriety thing under control, and there are also times when I think that if I have my sobriety well in hand why can’t I apply all those things about staying sober to becoming a normal drinker like I was before I became an alcoholic. I should know by now that if I can stick to just one or two drinks I won’t have a problem, if I can say no to the first drink I should be able to say no to the third drink. I’ve learned my lesson as to where the third drink will lead. Then I see someone return to MWO after relapsing, trying to get sober again. And as I read their story and follow along with what they are going through, I see the fundamental flaw in my thinking. It’s not the third drink that get’s me in trouble, it’s the first drink, and that will never change.

I can’t remember who’s signature line this is, but it really does explain things to me in the simplest form “once a pickle, never a cucumber again”!

So thank you all for sharing your successes and your setbacks, every story has a lesson in it for me to learn from...

[NoraC]

Re: United Nations of MWO

I want to extend my sincere thanks to those of you who fall under the above quote. You have no idea how your stories help the rest of us, and there’s a lesson in those stories for the newcomers as well.

I can’t remember who’s signature line this is, but it really does explain things to me in the simplest form “once a pickle, never a cucumber again”!

So thank you all for sharing your successes and your setbacks, every story has a lesson in it for me to learn from...

I agree completely. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories.

And, I've also loved that cucumber into pickle signature. So very true.

[satz123]

Re: United Nations of MWO

in the simplest form “once a pickle, never a cucumber again”!

LOVE it !!
Heard an interview on radio here in Ireland - a well known footballer - Dad & now Granddad . He had a well documented fight with alcohol - ruined his life.
He picked himself up yada yada yada - but said he will have a 'glass or two' of wine most days. the interviewer jumped on that & said "that's great , so it's not the demon any more - nothing to be scared of" "Most people are being told alcoholics cannot drink ever again - glad that's changing."

The interview was so short that the man did not get time to elaborate - it was all taken out of context. He was trying to say he has to CONTROL it and that it STILL gets out of control but didn't get the chance. I hope to God that not many were listening to that damaging interview.

[mollyka]

Re: United Nations of MWO

Great topic - and do I dare to eat a peach.... mmm ok -- maybe this is controversial... BUT.... I do sometimes wonder whether online forums are adequate for the vast majority of addicts to keep them clean and sober? What makes me (so far) not play mind games like you describe Cowboy is SEEING people - both in treatment and at meetings - speaking of their falls from grace after 10-15-20 years of sobriety.. and seeing - actually SEEING the struggle they had getting back on track - it appeared to be SO much harder to do after a lengthy stint of sobriety... - anyway as I always say - that's MY opinion only - but it is ingrained in me after rehab and years of going to meetings that that IS what will happen to me if I drink -- no if's or but's - so all I'm saying really is - we must examine our innermost thoughts - and if we are completely GENUINELY secure in our sobriety and the only support we have is mwo -- great - that's fine - but with the ruthless honesty I speak of - if there's a chink in that armour ANYWHERE -- more support IS necessary imvvvvho!



That interview is appalling Benjy - I didn't hear it but I would have been incandescent with rage if I had - and back when I was trying to get sober and so not succeeding I would have been all over that 'omg he did it - he's grand - I can do that' -- yeah!!

[satz123]

Re: United Nations of MWO

That interview is appalling Benjy - I didn't hear it but I would have been incandescent with rage if I had - and back when I was trying to get sober and so not succeeding I would have been all over that 'omg he did it - he's grand - I can do that' -- yeah!!

You know the footballer - played for Ireland - much loved for his gentle ways. But I read his book & he was drunk when he played usually. An amazing feat in itself - but played brilliantly.
He shouldn't have said what he did to Ray D'arcey on National Radio - and Ray jumped on it. FFS !
Completely wrong message.

[mollyka]

Re: United Nations of MWO

You know the footballer - played for Ireland - much loved for his gentle ways. But I read his book & he was drunk when he played usually. An amazing feat in itself - but played brilliantly.
He shouldn't have said what he did to Ray D'arcey on National Radio - and Ray jumped on it. FFS !
Completely wrong message.

AH bless him - such a lovely man - but an ENORMOUS struggle with alcohol all his life - and for Ray D'arcey to say that... shouldn't be allowed on national radio

[Slo]

Re: United Nations of MWO

I put that into my signature line so that I have to see it every time I log in, so I can keep reminding myself that I am a pickle, and this is an irreversible condition! Otherwise I just keep trying to moderate over & over again.

I’m very grateful to all the people who come here who say they previously have had a very long, years long quit. Then here they are back at square one. This also helps get my head screwed on straight; to pound home the message that this is permanent!

So, thanks to all of you.

[abcowboy]

Thanks [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION] for reminding me who’s signature that is, saved me from searching through all the members!

Post #99

I was going to use parts of that post, then figured I should maybe use all of it, then figured I might just do something different lol.

I have to agree with you in a way Molly, I never thought an online forum could get and keep someone sober, but it seems to have worked for at least a few people here. And to be honest, I have only used online forums since I started on this, my final, quit. But I did attend AA enough times to know that quitting and staying quit was possible, and I could see it with my own two eyes, my Uncle not included. So maybe that was what got me started in the first place.

I haven’t been back to an AA meeting in over 4 years but my Uncle keeps telling me to go, that I should be sharing my story. I told him that I would feel like a bit of a hypocrite going back because the 12 Steps had nothing to do with my sobriety, that I really didn’t believe in the 12 Step Program. He said AA isn’t all about the program, it’s about the fellowship of people who want to get and stay sober, no matter how that happens.

I’ve been thinking about maybe returning, but with our place of residence up in the air for right now, I’ll hold off for the time being. But if we do move, I’ll probably attend a meeting in our new town.

One thing I do wholeheartedly agree with you on is if you have any doubt at all about online forums and your sobriety, you’d best look at adding to your support system because doubt only opens the door to more excuses.

[mollyka]

Re: United Nations of MWO

I'm not an AA regular now Cowboy - I agreed in treatment to go for two years - and I did - I didn't want to - it scared me at first - deffo out of my comfort zone - but I learnt so much it was amazing - and I never went next nigh or NEAR the 12 steps - never was expected to or needed to - the ones that are still drinking and claim they won't go to AA because of the religious stuff -- absolute excuse and errant nonsense - I am a total atheist but never once felt out of place... but I felt quite secure in sobriety after the couple of years and against advice - I let meetings go - promising myself that once I knew the format - that I'd know what to do and where to go and not be scared - if I had doubts or a crisis I would return - maybe I've been foolish but a good few years on I still feel secure and safe.. so that's my way of doing things - we shall see!!!!

[JackieClaire]

Re: United Nations of MWO

I haven’t been back to an AA meeting in over 4 years but my Uncle keeps telling me to go, that I should be sharing my story. I told him that I would feel like a bit of a hypocrite going back because the 12 Steps had nothing to do with my sobriety, that I really didn’t believe in the 12 Step Program. He said AA isn’t all about the program, it’s about the fellowship of people who want to get and stay sober, no matter how that happens.

I'm a sporadic AAer and don't have a sponsor or follow the 12 steps.........I've never been looked down on for using an on-line forum for my sobriety and to be honest a good few have been full of questions about how it all works on MWO............there are some who have swallowed the Big Book sideways and seem to have an endless dialogue of quotes from it but that is their way out..........I'm with your Uncle its about the fellowship. Its not all about meetings, The Big Book, the 12 steps..........it has a tremendous social side to it and you can't beat an AA hug.

My favourite quote from AA when you talk about going into bars..........sit in a barber's shop long enough and you'll get a haircut.