United Nations of MWO

[abcowboy]

Y’all should get over to read the Army thread if you don’t already do, there’s always some great discussions going on in there! I’m always reading on every thread (except my ignored ones) and I try to post wherever I can. But Molly mentioned about a combined thread where the wisdom of all the groups could be shared. It was kinda funny because for the past week or so I’ve been tossing the idea around in my head. What kind of thread would appeal to everyone, what kind of info should be shared, what would we talk about, etc, etc. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’d sure like to see MWO stick around and grow.

I don’t want to see any of the existing threads die, we all have our home threads and feel comfortable talking and sharing in them. But I wanted to see a thread where time zones, age, race, religion, or political affiliations played no part in it. A thread dealing with sobriety, and everything that comes with it. I had a few names for the thread, but when I mentioned my idea in the Army, [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION] came up with a name that really appealed to me, so the United Nations of MWO is born!

I know exactly what I’ll be using the thread for, but y’all can use it for whatever you want. The normal MWO rules apply, along with no talk of politics allowed, I’ve seen too many people upset and leave because of political affiliations.

So don’t be surprised if you see me quoting something you said on another thread in here, because that’s what I’m going to do, post a quote that someone said that hit home to me, and why. It’s all about getting and staying sober, and it should be the goal we are all fighting for.

Every now and then I could stop at 2 but most of the time when I drank I drank to get drunk and would be so afraid of not having enough money or time or even enough alcohol to get me drunk.

I’m using Alison’s words again because when I first read them I knew she was describing me to a tee! How much time I spent worrying about the next time I could get drunk, or even just staying drunk. It was a sad state of affairs for sure. Only sobriety can free you of those thoughts….

[mollyka]

Re: United Nations of MWO

Well for sure count me in Cowboy - it's a great idea - and as you say - all the original threads will stay running as always - lets see what pan's out!!!
Just as a response to Alison's quote above - I too need to remember the sadness of my addiction - I remember for a long time here in Ireland you could buy alcohol at anytime the shops were open - like 7am - no problem - it was super (??????) - meant I could get my store in on my way to work - secrete it in the boot of the car and have it to hand whenever I needed... anything less than that availability could be scary -- then they reverted to not allowing alcohol to be bought in the mornings and not till lunchtime on a Sunday --- it was like a really big thing to me - stopping on the way home from work wasn't an easy option - no shops on my way home so explaining a half hour delay -- etc etc..... THAT IS JUST SO FRIGGING SAD..... how could I have been that person???

[NoSugar]

Re: United Nations of MWO

Thanks for all your efforts to keep this forum relevant and active, ABC. I've looked at other, similar sites but they just don't appeal to me. There's something special about this one and it's worth protecting and hopefully, growing.

That fear of there not being "enough" seems to be a common one around here. I remember trying to hold it together when the server would (appropriately!) distribute a bottle of wine among 5 people. It looked to me like he gave me a couple drops! And if a second one was opened and set on the table, I would be so distracted, willing myself NOT to fill up MY glass. But that's what I wanted - constant abundance. I'm not really a hoarder but I sure was of wine.

I'm going to be traveling the next couple weeks - what a nightmare that used to be, especially when spending time with nondrinkers. I was always stressed because I didn't have the security of my secret stockpiles.

UGH, just typing this out is reminding me of where I never want to be again. It is so nice to be satisfied with what is. Thanks again, NS

[techie]

Re: United Nations of MWO

What a wonderful idea. The Collective We have much wisdom to impart. Having a repository of ideas, strategies, and hacks would be helpful to most if not all MWO folks. Having eight years sobriety has NOT in any way eliminated the pesky drink thought from creeping in now and then. For me, these thoughts are the most persistent My strategy is to let these thought linger in my head a bit, then cultivate indifference toward them.


Thank you Cowboy for making a simple idea a reality. To DA & Molls for their inspiration. xoxo

[satz123]

Re: United Nations of MWO

Oh yes that constant watching of others' glasses. Are they getting more than me ? - why is the bottle down that end of the table ? will someone order another bottle ?
So naturally I'd drift towards and keep company with, like minded people who will ALWAYS order another bottle

[mollyka]

Re: United Nations of MWO

Oh yes that constant watching of others' glasses. Are they getting more than me ? - why is the bottle down that end of the table ? will someone order another bottle ?
So naturally I'd drift towards and keep company with, like minded people who will ALWAYS order another bottle

Was going to sleep and saw this - many years ago before the grog was officially a prob i was at a wedding in South Africa - 12 at the table - bottles arriving just ooooohhhhhh so slowly - man sitting beside me owned a small vineyard /winery - showing off talking bout his nose and bouquets of strawberry and wild flowers etc..... Persuaded him to get his non-drinking wife to drive 20 miles to their winery to bring back samples of ALL his wines so he could educate my palette - good god it was a shit show!!!!! 12 sloshed wedding guests who',d consumed half a winery!!!!

Hi to techie and NS -

Off to bed i go! Well done again cowboy
Night!

[Ginger999]

Re: United Nations of MWO

You know when I really hit bottom? When I didn't want to attend my grandson's basketball games because it would mess with my drinking. I'd go, reluctantly and hurry home to open that bottle. Ugh, how sad.

[satz123]

Re: United Nations of MWO

Persuaded him to get his non-drinking wife to drive 20 miles to their winery to bring back samples of ALL his wines so he could educate my palette - good god it was a shit show!!!!! 12 sloshed wedding guests who',d consumed half a winery!!!

That reminds me of my favourite TV show some years ago :

Absolutely Fabulous Wine tasting! - YouTube

[satz123]

Re: United Nations of MWO

Drifty your post on Gratitude thread led me to think about good sober times.
On holiday in the local bar they played an ABBA song - without thinking I jumped up and did the Mama Mia dance with my daughter.
Highlight of the night - who'd have thought I'd be one of those annoying sober people that actually ENJOY themselves.
It shows we don't need alcohol - the REAL us is in there - just be confident in our skin and the non-judgemental ( family in my case) company we are in....
A milestone moment for me .....
( little things).

[abcowboy]

On holiday in the local bar they played an ABBA song - without thinking I jumped up and did the Mama Mia dance with my daughter.

Thanks for putting a smile on my face this morning Satzy, I would have paid to see that lol. Don't suppose there's a clip of it on youtube??

But that brings up something that's hard for all of us to accept, we have to learn to have fun without drinking. It wasn't easy for me at first because I didn't think it was possible. Funny thing is, I avoided all social functions for the first 6 months of my quit, and it wasn't because I was worried about not having fun, or having strong urges to drink, it was because I was worried everyone else wouldn't have fun sitting at a table with a recovering alcoholic. Now, I don't care, I go out and have fun and if people can't accept the fact that I don't drink, it's on them, not me...

[mollyka]

Re: United Nations of MWO

Thanks for putting a smile on my face this morning Satzy, I would have paid to see that lol. Don't suppose there's a clip of it on youtube??

But that brings up something that's hard for all of us to accept, we have to learn to have fun without drinking. It wasn't easy for me at first because I didn't think it was possible. Funny thing is, I avoided all social functions for the first 6 months of my quit, and it wasn't because I was worried about not having fun, or having strong urges to drink, it was because I was worried everyone else wouldn't have fun sitting at a table with a recovering alcoholic. Now, I don't care, I go out and have fun and if people can't accept the fact that I don't drink, it's on them, not me...

I drank from about the age of 15 - and until maybe in my 40's it didn't become problematic (???) - so ALL my adult life my social life was around drinking - and there were a lot of really good times - and yes I did love the way it made (initially) an extremely shy and socially inept young person into an outgoing confident one... so now - roll on all these years -- the fun was well and truly gone out of alcohol - I was drinking alone and in secret most of the time.. I still liked the maybe half hour to an hour when the first couple of drinks took hold and then it was catch-up all the way -- couldn't get it back.... so when I quit --- I didn't KNOW who I was - socially anyway - I hadn't been ANYONE since I was 15 - socially -- so well I'll be honest - I don't really socialise - now that could also be an age thing - I'm now in my early 60's... but I think I reverted to the shy socially inept person.... but for me -- that's fine - it balances with the calmness I now have in my life - the contentment -

If I had had to get sober in my 20's or 30's how would I have felt? I don't know obviously - but I think I would have had to re-jig the traditional pub/nightclub/dating type socialising - I would like to think I'd have discovered AA - the young ones have a great sober social life - you have a hobby - you'll meet others with the same interest - golf/motorbikes/skiing -- you name it - maybe night classes - that sort of thing... but I don't think I could have just done the same and not drink -- but as I ALWAYS say -- that is just ME

[mollyka]

Re: United Nations of MWO

Cowboy - this is your thread - and anyone who knows me knows I just speak my mind - maybe I should moderate my opinions for newbies - discouraging? Let me know if that's what you think is right - however - when I started here I could smell the frauds from a billion paces - I sniffed out the ones that described recovery warts and all -- so that's what I do - but..... let me know:victorious:

[abcowboy]

Agreed Molly, who says socializing is the only way to have fun! I have fun with Bubba, Hank, and friends and family everyday. And I'll bet that for 99% of us, at the end we didn't socialize when we drank, we drank alone. I guess I was probably lucky having the dad I had, you don't know how much you'll miss someone until they are gone. But dad made all us 4 boys take 3 things before we turned teenagers, speed reading, public speaking, and dance lessons. At the time I hated it, but now I'm sure glad he made us do it!

[abcowboy]

I think we're all adults here Molly, and for all of us the truth can hurt sometimes. But telling it like it is seems to be the best way for me as well. As I just said in the Café this morning, emotions can and do run high, especially for the Newbies, but what we all have to say has to be taken in the spirit of support!

Had to edit to add, I think it's more your thread, I had the idea floating around in my head, but your comment in the Army gave me the resolve to start it, and Satzy came up with the name, but what it's meant to be is everyone's thread!

I guess that brings up something else...let's try and keep arguments out of here, a bit of debate is fine, and healthy. But if anyone really objects or takes offense at something someone said, please pm them, or me if need be...

[mollyka]

Re: United Nations of MWO

100% agree - imo arguments online are truly detrimental to the site - I have been guilty in the past - hands up - but no more - I have and will walk away in future. What a clever Dad - giving young people those skills.. wonder again tho would any of my young ones have been willing to participate in something like that just cos I thought they should... football for mine was about as much as they would participate in for me! good for him - proper social skills - maybe they should be compulsory in schools?