Hmmmm…. so this is where we start... again.
Been laying awake for 2 hours thinking, struggling and feeling like a failure. I was on my phone looking at quit drinking hypnosis and remembered that MWO worked for me years ago. So here I am again.
Quick version of my story - lifetime struggling with alcohol. I hit rock bottom in 2007 or so and found this. I read the book, use the cds, bought the supplements, and spent a lot of time on these forums. I went 5 years AF! And thought I had grown up and beaten AL and could drink socially in 2012. It went ok for a while.... and it creeps up on you. In 2014 I was in the midst of trying to get out of a failing marriage and used alcohol to cope. After a great fight one night when I just had to get out of the house, I got pulled over and arrested for DWI. You'd think THAT would have been the rock bottom this time? I did my time, had an interlock, spent a ton of money on fines and all the stuff for a first time. And I was moderate for a while.
And here I am again. Drinking way way too much. I've gained so much weight. I feel OLD physically and I'm only in my late 40s. I feel fat and lethargic and bloated and my body has aches and pains I really hate. I was diagnosed with fatty liver almost a year ago and what have I done to fix that? nothing. Every Monday, every first of the month, every "after this special event" I promise to get strict on exercise and cutting alcohol and focusing on health. And yesterday was October 1... and my birthday month... and I was ready to get started... and I drink half a liter of rum last night. sigh.
So here I am again.... starting over and recognizing that I can't do it alone. I remember these forums as such a safe place, as such a place of truth and acceptance. I need a safe place where I can talk about how shitty I feel and start finding myself again... OUTSIDE of the bottle because the woman I was and the woman I want to be again are not there but I keep thinking she is.
So step 1.... I got my butt out of bed since I wasn't sleeping anyway and I put on exercise clothes and am going out for a walk as soon as there is a little more light. I poured the rest of the rum down the drain. And I registered for these forums again. Thanks for welcoming me back?
Quick question.... years ago I bought the "system" - downloadable book and CDs. I have the hypnosis CDs which I will listen to..... after I buy a darned CD player today lol. But I gave my printed version of the book to a friend who was struggling and I can't find a place to download it again. I really want to re-read the list of supplements so I can go shopping today. The link for pdf version on the mwo site doesn't work... anyone know where I can get it? amazon says "ships in 1 to 2 months"!
Thanks!
Been laying awake for 2 hours thinking, struggling and feeling like a failure. I was on my phone looking at quit drinking hypnosis and remembered that MWO worked for me years ago. So here I am again.
Quick version of my story - lifetime struggling with alcohol. I hit rock bottom in 2007 or so and found this. I read the book, use the cds, bought the supplements, and spent a lot of time on these forums. I went 5 years AF! And thought I had grown up and beaten AL and could drink socially in 2012. It went ok for a while.... and it creeps up on you. In 2014 I was in the midst of trying to get out of a failing marriage and used alcohol to cope. After a great fight one night when I just had to get out of the house, I got pulled over and arrested for DWI. You'd think THAT would have been the rock bottom this time? I did my time, had an interlock, spent a ton of money on fines and all the stuff for a first time. And I was moderate for a while.
And here I am again. Drinking way way too much. I've gained so much weight. I feel OLD physically and I'm only in my late 40s. I feel fat and lethargic and bloated and my body has aches and pains I really hate. I was diagnosed with fatty liver almost a year ago and what have I done to fix that? nothing. Every Monday, every first of the month, every "after this special event" I promise to get strict on exercise and cutting alcohol and focusing on health. And yesterday was October 1... and my birthday month... and I was ready to get started... and I drink half a liter of rum last night. sigh.
So here I am again.... starting over and recognizing that I can't do it alone. I remember these forums as such a safe place, as such a place of truth and acceptance. I need a safe place where I can talk about how shitty I feel and start finding myself again... OUTSIDE of the bottle because the woman I was and the woman I want to be again are not there but I keep thinking she is.
So step 1.... I got my butt out of bed since I wasn't sleeping anyway and I put on exercise clothes and am going out for a walk as soon as there is a little more light. I poured the rest of the rum down the drain. And I registered for these forums again. Thanks for welcoming me back?
Quick question.... years ago I bought the "system" - downloadable book and CDs. I have the hypnosis CDs which I will listen to..... after I buy a darned CD player today lol. But I gave my printed version of the book to a friend who was struggling and I can't find a place to download it again. I really want to re-read the list of supplements so I can go shopping today. The link for pdf version on the mwo site doesn't work... anyone know where I can get it? amazon says "ships in 1 to 2 months"!
Thanks!