November Army Manoeuvres 2018

[satz123]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

It struck me today driving home that there is nothing in my life supporting sobriety - either at home or work but here I am.

Same here Biddie. No support at home to stay stopped - only on MWO.
Could have gone back on the grog as far as Mr S & family were concerned but just don't drink at home - FFS

I think that just made me more determined. I didn't want to just slot in with how they wanted me to be - I decided to do it on my own terms & stop altogether and let them explain to anyone who asked.. :haha: Pure EVIL....
In reality I'd be an alko pretending to be 'normal' ........ how long would that last ??

[IamMary]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

Good night wet feet :happy2:

Bridge, some are unlucky and reach a real rock bottom, need rehab etc. Lots of us are doing it alone in the real world and rely heavily on corners of the internet like this. My husband continued to drink, so it made me more determined. I didnt tell anyone, so no one offered support.
I never felt alone though, we have an army behind us, and the nest, the steppers, the cafe etc.. keep reading and posting.. sober world is so worth it.

[IamMary]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

crossed posts Satz.
Your evil side was definitely inspiring :devilish:

[satz123]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

Lots of us are doing it alone in the real world and rely heavily on corners of the internet like this. My husband continued to drink, so it made me more determined. I didnt tell anyone, so no one offered support.

:applause: Hurray for those of us who are so determined to break the cycle we go it alone, no fanfare 'cos it's no-ones business, and succeed...... with the support of the MWO community....

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

Yerz are all bloody gorgeous and I know yerz are here. I might have a tiny tear.

I mean what I said in two ways.
Sweety you are dead right, there is nobody to actually care enough to speak up. I've done what I wanted and made sure they are too intimidated to say anything about the drinking anyhow. Gotta protect my 'right' to drink eh? Up until now I was either living with kids or by myself so there was no partner character with a vested interest to say 'Jesus Bridge, pull up!' They would have been gone by now anyway.

Secondly is the situation I'm in both at home and at work. I'm being exploited and used in both settings, (so there's no coincidence there.) There's a pattern of behaviour and I'm the problem! That's something I'm working on.
This is without question the worst year I've ever experienced. It would be easy to justify drinking. But I'm not going to. If I can be AF now, I can be bloody AF any time!

I could prattle on for ages but I'll spare you. It just struck me that it's not the ideal time to quit, but if I wait for the perfect time, it might be too late.

[JackieClaire]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

Morning,
[MENTION=18312]sweetpea29[/MENTION]..........probably won't see my little brother before Christmas unless he's down with his missus. Tbh never see a lot of him in general. Never had a falling out or anything its just always been like this and its great when we do meet up and we're very close. He knew I was ill during the summer so he's another one I'd better tell just how proper poorly I was.

I'm very much a whatever works these days. Its a need to know basis for me. Only the closest to me know the extent of my drinking and the doctor. My sobriety comes first above everything. I did ask the S&H that there was one thing I'd like at the wedding and that was a quiet place for me when the rest are well served and the silliness starts. He'd already thought of it and has asked at the venues they've visited.

[MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION]........there is no perfect time. I always promised thing like .........its too near Christmas........I'll start in the New Year.......its too near my birthday.......I'll wait til May.........I'll stop after this weekend and on and on and on.

Back to the refurb.........they should have been delivery the stair and little bedroom carpet on Monday. They've cocked it up and only the bedroom carpet's coming on Monday.........very grovelling apologies and the stairs next Saturday. The electrician (son of next door neighbour) is coming to do some minor bits and pieces and that's it 'til after Christmas.

[stirly-girly]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

Yerz are all bloody gorgeous and I know yerz are here. I might have a tiny tear.

I mean what I said in two ways.
Sweety you are dead right, there is nobody to actually care enough to speak up. I've done what I wanted and made sure they are too intimidated to say anything about the drinking anyhow. Gotta protect my 'right' to drink eh? Up until now I was either living with kids or by myself so there was no partner character with a vested interest to say 'Jesus Bridge, pull up!' They would have been gone by now anyway.

Secondly is the situation I'm in both at home and at work. I'm being exploited and used in both settings, (so there's no coincidence there.) There's a pattern of behaviour and I'm the problem! That's something I'm working on.
This is without question the worst year I've ever experienced. It would be easy to justify drinking. But I'm not going to. If I can be AF now, I can be bloody AF any time!

I could prattle on for ages but I'll spare you. It just struck me that it's not the ideal time to quit, but if I wait for the perfect time, it might be too late.

Good morning/evening Army!!

First and foremost - [MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION] - great job on getting into the double digits!! I remember when I hit day 10 and I thought, damn, I'm doing this!! It was actually the first time that I had ever counted days (always thought it a bit foolish) and I enjoyed so much seeing that number get bigger and bigger. (I still do!!) I have to agree about if you wait for the perfect time (there never is one until we really want to quit) it might be too late. But I have to disagree on it not being the perfect time for you. If you can get through the hard times without falling back on AL to blur the edges, block out the worry, pain, whatever, then you have it in the pocket, IMVHO. Very proud of you Bridge and as the other said -yer not alone!! (I did it without help at home as well, just my own bloody determination to find myself again!)
[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION] TBH the news about YS drinking again made me both very sad and very angry. I would have thrown in the towel as well! He just got that new job FFS. WHAT in dog's name was/is he thinking??? I truly hope for your sake more than anything, that he either straightens up or moves out. Seriously, it's not your problem - he's old enough to deal with his own issues. If it's a matter of anxiety over the new job, then IMHO, he needs to see somebody about the anxiety issue. But as we all know, drinking won't help him be productive in his new position.

Jackie, a quick look-back shows that you are re-doing everything but Mr. JC from the sounds of it. Hope you are happy with the results!

Arsey - glad to hear all is going well with your show!

Big waves to everyone else. Trying to catch up here at work but even on Saturday, the phones won't leave me in peace!!

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

@byebyebridgetjones........there is no perfect time. I always promised thing like .........its too near Christmas........I'll start in the New Year.......its too near my birthday.......I'll wait til May.........I'll stop after this weekend and on and on and on.

Procrastination is the enemy of sobriety that's for sure. I'll give up when I feel stronger, better, have more energy.....how on earth will you get that while drinking?
I'll give up today, tomorrow, next week, after my birthday/Christmas/my stress is over.

I remember someone asking me once when I first gave up alcohol 'Have you ever tried to give up alcohol before unsuccessfully?' And I remember saying 'Yes! Every day!'

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

Good morning/evening Army!!

First and foremost - @byebyebridgetjones - great job on getting into the double digits!! I remember when I hit day 10 and I thought, damn, I'm doing this!! It was actually the first time that I had ever counted days (always thought it a bit foolish) and I enjoyed so much seeing that number get bigger and bigger. (I still do!!) I have to agree about if you wait for the perfect time (there never is one until we really want to quit) it might be too late. But I have to disagree on it not being the perfect time for you. If you can get through the hard times without falling back on AL to blur the edges, block out the worry, pain, whatever, then you have it in the pocket, IMVHO. Very proud of you Bridge and as the other said -yer not alone!! (I did it without help at home as well, just my own bloody determination to find myself again!)

Thank you love. You are so kind. I'm just glad I came scuttling back here before it went too much further. We always kid ourselves that we have it under control, or can get it under control. Bollocks can we. We can only control our decision not to expose ourselves to it any more.

[stirly-girly]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

I remember someone asking me once when I first gave up alcohol 'Have you ever tried to give up alcohol before unsuccessfully?' And I remember saying 'Yes! Every day!'

How well I can relate to that!! Every morning determined not to drink that night and every night the F-it factor came into play and there I was, slugging the AL back once again. My SIL has a saying - "chuck it in the fuck-it bucket!" That's exactly where my good intentions of not drinking went every night. I think that's one of the biggest things that trips us up - the thought that we can stop tomorrow. Forgetting that well-known phrase "tomorrow never comes". Frankly, I think that making that decision to really quit is harder than making the decision to stay sober. After some time without AL, the cravings go away and we adjust to life without AL. It's a matter of re-thinking the situations. For me, much, much harder was the decision that "today is the day".

Just a note - my "special friend" is coming up on 10 years sober. He used to own a bar/coffee place and his AL consumption started from the time he opened his eyes in the morning (bottle next to the bed) until he fell into bed very late at night. Probably about 2 bottles of whiskey a day. He still had his business for a year after he quit drinking so he was surrounded by people drinking all day and night. Out of sheer determination, he stayed sober for over a year til he sold the bar. He also continued to hang out with all of his friends who still drink heavily. - he lives in the same town he was born in, so lifetime friends, a lifetime of habits. So, what I'm trying to say is, if someone in that situation can stay sober, so can the rest of us!!

[JackieClaire]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

@ stirly-girly.........just wanted to give you a little wave as we're heading out the door. Will have a read of your posts when we get back,

[stirly-girly]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

@ stirly-girly.........just wanted to give you a little wave as we're heading out the door. Will have a read of your posts when we get back,

WAVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy your shopping!!

[NoSugar]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

Good morning/afternoon, Army

Your conversation about a perfect time to quit made me think of all my logical, carefully constructed plans (always developed in the morning!) for the ideal quit date. I started dreading the first days of months because for awhile they were my "perfect time" points to quit but deep down, I knew I would blow it again. As I became more desperate, Mondays became my days of repeated failures. It was all just so overwhelming and demoralizing. I think you were smart to just "do it", Bridget. My quitting day was a random Thursday in late January (having missed my 1/1 goal by a few weeks and having blown past the previous Monday as usual...). For whatever reason, I was finally just DONE and determined to do whatever it took to stay that way (such as take what seemed like the craziest, riskiest step ever of joining an online stop drinking site). Because my drinking was hidden, so was my recovery other than all the wonderful folks here. No one in my offline life was or is aware that it was much more difficult to give up alcohol than my earlier quits of gluten and sugar years before. I guess it is part of the 'never let them see you sweat' part of my personality which I now realize was part of what opened me up to addiction in the first place. I'm still working on that...

Satz, I'm so sorry your boy is drinking again but we all know from experience that it isn't surprising -- his rational brain isn't calling the shots full time yet. He probably makes the big quitting plans like I did each morning and during his sober stints but until an internal or external force takes him to that tipping point, the addicted brain will eventually win, even when he knows that it is crazy to risk his new job and the support of his family. When I hear never-addicted friends and family talk about addiction, it is clear that they think the addict is simply choosing not to change. I always point out that it can't be that simple or no one would be addicted - no one would choose a life of desperation and despair. I hope you can find ways to help him reach that tipping point before he loses more. xx, NS

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

Morning All from the next day, which is sunny and clear for you!

NoSugar and Stirly, this is one hell of a disease isn't it?

Stirly, I have no idea how someone stops a two bottle of whiskey a day habit - or even lives to tell the tale. I don't know how most of us are still alive as a matter of fact. It truly is testament to the astonishing constitution of our bodies.Years ago I read on this forum someone who had just managed to free themselves and had some decent sober time up but who was plagued by thoughts that the abuse would come back to bite him on the bum. That he would finally get sober and then be diagnosed with something, it having been too late after all. I've got to say I've had a lot of those thoughts lately. Time will tell.

NoSugar, I even obsessed about what my last drink would be. Will it be wine or vodka? As if it were some sort of momentous occasion. For the love of God, it's just ethanol with different flavours added and preparation methods. It is fit to be a cleaning fluid, and that's all it is fit for. Who was the first to put that stuff down their neck and decide it was somehow palatable?
I have to admit I never got quite as keen on our man Jason Vale of 'kick the drinking' fame but one concept of his that did stand out for me was this: you don't like the taste of alcohol. I have to be honest that I don't. Hence in the end I was down to two types of grog that I could stomach, sparkling rose and vodka. This year I have been adding a sugary cordial type mix to it so that I could get it down. Is that enjoyment? No that's chemical addiction.

I actually didn't want to drink at all. I wanted to check out.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: November Army Manoeuvres 2018

Anyway, on to cheerier things. Today my closest friends and I are driving into a lovely part of the area, our local highlands for lunch and a peruse.
Interesting, these two were my last remaining drinking friends, locally at least. Last time I quit they were actually the biggest challenge to my sobriety and there were some pretty hairy moments as I broke out of the 'drinking buddy' category.
Interestingly enough, he still drinks although not problematically. She was always the one with the potential to go off the rails, and she was pretty committed to keeping me drinking. In the interim she has had a little light bulb moment of her own and has all but quit.
We flock together, don't we?

Today, I will not be drinking.