One Step at a Time - January 2019

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

I’m embarrassed and sorry for some things NoSugar #2 did (and didn’t) do, but it is becoming easier to forgive her, as I would another person who apologized. And I totally forgive the overachieving, other-pleasing, perfectionist girl/younger woman who was primed for addiction.

We don’t just recover in a 2-D circle - we can recover up, around, and out in a continuous spiral to continually grow and be the best we can be.

Couldn't agree more, my girl . We are all developing and refining ourselves as we go along.

Yes! Life is a journey and we keep learning and changing as we go....

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

Bird - I am sorry that DD1 has troubles like this. It is so sad and I know that you feel helpless to help her.
I know what you mean about being bombarded with 'stuff' all the time. We never turn off. I find it hard to sit and just be.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

I was reading an e-mail from Belle (Tired of Thinking about Drinking) and this one just hit me. It was talking about 'wolfie' the alcohol voice trying to get you to drink.
I rarely think about drinking but I did the other day out of the clear blue. Of course I didn't drink because I don't drink. BUT......what if I had been sitting in front of a glass right then. Would I have made a different decision? I don't think so but I like to have these reminders sometimes.

From SueW (day 139):"I was surprised and amazed that we all heard wolfie. Until I found your blog I thought it was just something I had going on in my head. It is now apparent that wolfie is a common denominator in most, if not all of us.
In the earliest stages of sobriety he is a vicious, snarling, evil face that keeps telling us we are worthless, powerless and nothing but a drunk.
As we get stronger in our sobriety he is a little subtler and he tries to convince us that one is ok, we deserve it.
The more we become grounded in our sobriety he remains silent for a while, sometimes for a really long time, and then he tries again to convince us that, yes we can drink. We are in control now and we can handle just one or two. He is very pleasant looking now & the voice is not as angry and demanding. He makes us (me at least) think maybe he is right and I can handle it now.
Thank God that though your blog we can see that he is such an evil liar. That the people who listen to the voice and try to drink like a "normal" person often get sucked right back into the hell hole of despair and self hatred.
For me, giving that voice in my head a face and a name made all the difference. So many people in the blogs recognize wolfie as the demon and it is so much easier to do battle with a real face and voice. I'm not pathetic and lazy and helpless - I can fight the good fight against something that is tangible."

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

I really miss [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] but she has to go where she is getting the right support. She probably felt like she was talking to herself part of the time. Of course as you all realize you can't shut me up. But, I do miss Pauly. I think I'm going to go stalk her for a few minutes. I will be back.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

Oh - and since I'm not shutting up. My crown fell out last night. I tried to bite it. At least it's not too painful.

Oh and did I tell you that my Doctor is leaving. Because she started as a NP but continued school and is a MD. But, the medical group hasn't given her the title of Dr. She is still referred to as Nurse Practitioner. I told my hubby that she was leaving. I even asked her or her nurse and they said oh no she's not leaving. But, she really is :sad:

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

Oh and my landlord has been here for 5 hours so far.

Ok - off to stalk..................

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

We've been hearing so many geese flying over. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to be outside and I can seem them. I guess they are all flying South for the Winter. A fond memory of my Dad always saying 'those are Canada Geese' never Canadian always Canada. It's a happy memory that hubby, son & I share of laughing with Dad.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

What has everybody been up to today? Landlord left a little bit ago. Finally got it all fixed an working. Finally got the drain unclogged but then ran into problems putting the new sink fixture on. One thing after another. But, he did it. I will be taking a nice shower tonight.

Liz - how are you doing? I hope that today was a good day for you.

Rusty - did you get all the mundane chores done so you were able to enjoy the weekend?

Bird - I hope you are feeling better today.

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

Hello everyone! [MENTION=9757]NoraC[/MENTION] thank you! I'm glad your able to let go of the things you've done. I think I will with time too. I'm not there yet though. I appreciate you sharing that there were times it wasn't pretty. I'm glad that the shower finally got fixed. ON the bright side the landlord took care of it for you, we as home owners have to do it ourselves and that's no fun. Thankfully hubby is handy. BTW I love it when you are chatty. I laughed at the Canada Geese:welldone: As for [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION], I miss her here too. I agree she needs to go where she feels supported. She has left before and wandered back to us. [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION], just pop in occasionally and let us know how you're doing?
[MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION], I love it when you comment here. You have such wisdom and compassion. I like your three people scenario. I can really identify with it and I like the person I am right now. Darn that regret, though. [MENTION=2634]bird[/MENTION], I didn't realize you worry about dd1 that way. There isn't much you can do, but be there for her. I know this young mans family tried to help him and were aware that he was struggling. There's only so much we can do. May I ask how old she is? I'm sorry you were so sick. My guess would be the colon prep did it. I used to hear that a lot when I worked in endo. When do you go for the procedure?
I worked till 2 today, which was fine cause the weather was lousy anyway. Hubby and I went to see the movie Vice this evening. It was just OK. I don't know how to describe it other than choppy? SO remember that book I'm reading? It's really just getting too complicated and doing in too many different directions. I'm almost done but it hard to read it before bed.
See Nora, I can be chatty too

[NoSugar]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

Thank you for saying that, [MENTION=19302]Lizann[/MENTION]. NoSugar#1 was not at all compassionate. Being humbled by addiction is tough but I’m mostly glad it happened. #3 is much more patient and less demanding of others and herself.

[bird]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

Hi all,
It is going to be 70 today. Guess it will be an outside day, maybe I will go somewhere. Feeling better, Liz I was just saying my illness felt like a colonoscopy prep, t.g. it wasn't that tho hehe. Dd2 came over yest to get her marching snare. Said she is doing an audition Thursday and it is a secret, would not tell me. I had been thinking yesterday morning that she will soon be to old to try out for drum corps. It is 14-21. She had made it into one in 2015 and said she wouldn't do it again, but I kinda wondered if she would change her mind......N.s. I love your lively posts!......Nora, sometimes I listen to Belles one minute messages. Love the geese, nice rememberance of your Dad. Sorry your doc is leaving and about your crown......Liz, dd1 is almost 22. Too bad the book is getting weird, I hate it when that happens. I am still going to try it tho. Nice to go to the movies with hub...so we are having dd2s bday party next Saturday. I want it to be really nice. I think I will get some decorations and think up a nice cake. Maybe I can take her for a haircut and a new dress. I know she would love that....well off to start my day.

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

[MENTION=2634]bird[/MENTION], sorry I misunderstood the colon prep, lol! When is dd2s birthday? My dd1, Erin's birthday is Thursday the 10! BOught her some stuff. I offered to make dinner for them that night or we'll take her out. I'll get her a cake as well. She will be 32, how did that happen? She misses her brother and sister a lot, so I will make sure to make it a special week for her! 70degrees is definitely an outdoor day. I am jealous. It's cloudy here again. I feel like the sun hasn't been out in forever. [MENTION=9757]NoraC[/MENTION] sorry about your doctor leaving. It's hard when you've been with them so long. I don't know much about crowns, just got my first one about 2 months ago. I guess I have that to look forward too. It's way in the back and that's likely in my future. What are you up to today? [MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION], I will snap a picture of that quote and keep it in my phone and close by. The regret creeps up less and less these days, but it's still there. [MENTION=1214]Rusty[/MENTION], how are you doing? Busy working again I guess. Are you close to home this week?
Not sure what's on the agenda for today, guess we'll just play it be ear. Don't know if I mentioned yesterday I was grabbing lunch for hubby and I, there's a pet store right there. They had puppies up for adoption. I did go in and petted a few of them. The cutest and smallest one was being cuddled by a teenager and it was just the sweetest. Really tugged at my heart. They were all mutts and shed, not an option with hubbies allergies. Cute nonetheless. I cried on the way home. Miss my girl. Lucy truly was the perfect dog and I don't think I'll ever get as lucky again. Not sure what I should do?
Time to get ready for church. Have a great AF Sunday!

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

Good Morning, Friends!
[MENTION=19302]Lizann[/MENTION], keep looking for the right dog darling...a beagle, a schnauzer...those dogs that do not shed. It will do you a world of good, sweetheart.
[MENTION=2634]bird[/MENTION]-thanks for telling us about your daughters. I am sorry dd1 is so unhappy. She must feel like she is in prison, and I know it's frustrating for you.

I did not get done with my mundane chores tomorrow and now after an hour of printing issues, I have reports due tomorrow and they will not print. ARRGGGGGHHHH!!!!! CRAP!. I am taking my mom to church, lunch and then errands for her today so I have to run. I am sorry I cannot address everyone.
[MENTION=9757]NoraC[/MENTION]-I love when you are chatty. So glad you can now take a shower! YAY!
[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION], Pauly...we miss you here but most importantly, why don't you tell us what we could have done differently to help you.:hug: I sincerely mean that...we not want to discourage a new person who is struggling and came to our thread for help.

I just posted on the Army Thread.

Have a lovely AF Sunday, everyone!

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

Bird - can't wait to hear about your daughter's audition. Fun to plan for her party.

Liz - Erin's birthday too! Wow. Our kids are getting old. Casey will be 32 in March.

Rusty - so sorry to hear about your printer problems. That can be so frustrating!!!

Not much happening here. (Sad that my plumbing issues were the excitement of the week. :rotlf
I feel like I just post the same boring thing over & over. Oh well - I think that is better than the alternative.
Mom has been more awake the last couple of days but really having trouble with her words. But, she is more aware. We try to make her laugh but doing broad gestures and silly dances. Yesterday I was doing a silly dance in front of her and she finally said go sit down and started laughing. :rotlf: Hasn't been able to get a sentence out but she was able to get me off the stage. LOL
Cold here. 49 degrees when hubby went out & got in the hot tub this morning. We have an old house with a wall furnace. So, hubby wants fresh air and he opens the windows and then turns on the heater. Meanwhile, I'm sitting by an open window with a sweatshirt, a hoodie and a blanket. Just call us the odd couple. Ha, ha

I hope that everyone has a very happy day.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - January 2019

@NoraC-I love when you are chatty. So glad you can now take a shower! YAY!

I'm sure everyone around me is happy I can take a shower too. :harhar: