descision time!

[rachel28]

i ve done well, ive got this far on 2 beers all day, not brilliant, but, im feelin lousy, i havent done what i said i was gonna do in the house today, i can blame this site 4 that lol!! i darent get up the ladder i started but was so dizzy an wobbly thought it best to save window cleaning 4 another day, trouble is we need milk, so now i got to go shop, the local 1, big deal u say? i got no money to buy beer so temptation should nt b there, but all i can think is just a few more im not ready to stop yet,!! the shop does credit to locals im sure he knows im a piss head , well i have been in at 8.30 in morning 4 brandy thats bit of a give away,so i got no shame in asking 4 beer on tick till payday, i should i know, BUT thats always a word in my posts, i have been putting of goin all day because of this dilema, maybe i need padlockin in my room 4 a while!! its sad i dont even want to get drunk i just want to feel normal, i know in my head that im gonna have to suffer a bit to feel normal, BUT i nee to keep functioning, im gonna read some old posts b4 i go, an take those thoughts wiv me ! xx

[Cinders]

descision time!

Rachel28,

The first thing I did before I started on this AF trip I am on is put all my usual haunts on notice that I am trying to quit.

That way, if I ask for alcohol, they are gonna give me the "evil eye" and make me accountable. I am sure they will sell it to me but they will gently remind me it is not what I am supposed to be doing....

You could try that.

Hang in there, girl. You are fighting a tough one and trying so very hard. We are all so very proud of you!!

Cindi

[rachel28]

descision time!

yes i may try that, the bloody pub is opposite the shop an all, i may say bugger the milk till later an send the kids, they arent old enough to get served, !!!! its like bein jeckyl an hyde, brain is saying 1 thing body is screaming GIVE IT TO ME!

[ScoobyDoo]

descision time!

Rachel, I'm just thinking out loud here, so bare with me... have you thought about going to a hospital and seeing if they have a rehab facility? It could save your life (literally)! Your bf sounds reasonable enough to look after your little one, while you get the help you need.

If I were in your shoes (easier said than done, I know) I would look up the internet for the local hospitals and call them and ask to speak to someone in a drug and alcohol clinic or the ER. I would also make an appointment to see your GP and discuss exactly what's going on and how much you're drinking and the way it's affecting your life... I really think it sounds like you need some extra help to get you through these stages of detox and the psychological side of things. Keep coming here, but I also think it sounds like you need some extra help with this.

I'm really feeling for you but I really think you've got what it takes to kick this thing... and the sooner - the better for you and your child.

Lots of love
Bernie

[ScoobyDoo]

descision time!

rachel28;151316 wrote: brain is saying 1 thing body is screaming GIVE IT TO ME!

I can relate to that!

[rachel28]

descision time!

thanks scooby, he dosent think i got much of a problem, if only, he just wonders y i feel rough all the time, withdrawels right, iwas gonna call dr today but ive spent the day wrestling with myself an pondering what to do, another wasted day, at least im not drunk, its a scary thought but i need scaring, i should do it now, just to tell them what ive been up to honestly, an c what they suggest, thanks

[rachel28]

descision time!

just to add well done too you , u have done really well hope you r proud of yourself xx

[ScoobyDoo]

descision time!

Rachele, just think of the worst thing that can happen... they could say that you're ok, and don't have a problem or they could say that you need some help and provide you with that help you really need.

There's nothing wrong with accepting help.

28 is so young and you've got so much to look forward to...

Good luck with what you decide, whether it's today or tomorrow. You've made some great moves already so that is great!

And I am really proud of you too, Rachele!

Be sure to listen to all these wise and caring bunch of people here.

Scoobs *hug*

PS thanks for the well done I'm feeling fabulous, although weekends for me are challenging but I hear that it gets easier. I know you can do it too Rachel - I can just tell these things

[rachel28]

descision time!

28 an feeling 90!! im not gonna go shop, kids will have to go, im gonna go sort my odd socks out !! i do listen to all the advice im given here, your all very honest and wise, i just remembered i was meant to arrange another job i was offered , while i was in the pub weekend, trouble is im not sure if i want another 1 , im knackered,an seem to b letting few people down due to bein pissed , loosing key and not havin the mtivation to do much, on the other hand it gives me even less time to get in trouble, oh so many descisions, no wonder im getting grey hairs already, thanks scoobs xx an u r all bloody wonderfull, people, if it wasent 4 you guys i wouldnt even be trying to make all these choices, thanks to you all, xx

[paula]

descision time!

Rachel, send the kids to the shop.
My son is your age,and dosn't have a care in the world(mortgage excepted) That's how you should be, take care of yourself. Love Paula.xx

[rachel28]

descision time!

cheers paula, just done a deal, he is going shop an im gonna help him tidy his room, he has been weaseling out of it since fri, spent pocket money already thou , little bugger!!! not a bad deal , xx

[ducky]

descision time!

Rachel,

sorry you are feeling so terrible but i think you are right that you have to feel bad to get better. or maybe uncomfortable at least.

i hope you will be able to get some more support from your doc. you are doing a great job cutting back and seem so motivated. hang in there.

[sujul]

descision time!

Dear Rachel--

I know the feeling of being Jekyll and Hyde! And I was letting people down all over the place too....

I just posted a long post to "KeepOn" about me going to rehab last year and what a godsend it was...it might be helpful to you too....

I said to her that I admire her courage in wanting to do something about this--the same goes for you! This takes courage...

Like you, I was totally exhausted, knackered as you say--well, I won't go over the whole thing again--just read my post to Keepon...

Sending you positive thoughts and good wishes from New York....well, actually I'm on a bit of a vacation in the green mountains of Vermont (north of New York), but my thoughts are winging their way to you as we speak!

susan

[nancy]

descision time!

Hi rachel

I think you got some very good advice from Scooby and Sojul.

Hope you consider it!

take care
nancy

[rachel28]

descision time!

will read it now, thanks,