One Step at a Time - April 2019

[NoSugar]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

I think we have to limit how long we are going to continue to feel guilty about the past drinking. It's frustrating

You know, Nora, if any of you were to ask me how long we should feel guilty, I would say to stop immediately! (I try to tell that to myself, too). Nothing good ever comes out of doing or saying something out of a sense of guilt. It’s different from being truly sorry and then hopefully being forgiven, by others and importantly, ourselves. Luckily, whether we feel guilty or not is up to us. Others can try to make us feel that way but we don’t have to buy in to that game.

[bird]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

Hi all,
Not much here, worked in the yard some and clean the pool, friend from Colo. called and talked awhile. Dd2s trunk stopped opening when she moved her car. Some weird thing where she was parked I guess......Liz, I was thinking that was probably a trigger. When people don't have faith in you well. I used to always throw away my beer coozies when I had a bad hangover cuz I thought I would never drink again. I have thrown many many away. Dd1 said why did I do that. I told her cuz I though I had quit drinking. She laughed and said I would never quit. It was kinda funny but...the border collie sounds cute!....Nora, that is cool your bro found the license! I get the email. That is what I did when I was having problems with my friend, since I am not very good at talking....Paulie, I hope your allergies get better. I used to have them so bad, but haven't for the past 20 years or so. Not sure what happened to change that......Rusty, I would love to go to Australia and jam with Mr. G!. Maybe some day hehe...waves at NS....

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

You know, Nora, if any of you were to ask me how long we should feel guilty, I would say to stop immediately! (I try to tell that to myself, too). Nothing good ever comes out of doing or saying something out of a sense of guilt. It’s different from being truly sorry and then hopefully being forgiven, by others and importantly, ourselves. Luckily, whether we feel guilty or not is up to us. Others can try to make us feel that way but we don’t have to buy in to that game.

I think we must forgive ourselves. That is how we heal and move forward. :heartbeat:

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

Bird - that's what you should do instead of Alaska! Go to Australia and jam with Mr G.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

Thought this was good since we had just been talking about drinking at or because of someone/something. Going thru old e-mails again and read this from Belle.

Nothing external to you has anything to do
with how you take care of you.
You’re in charge of you.
This is you doing this for you.
And nothing that anybody else does gets in the way of that.

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

Good Morning!

I am getting ready to leave for MN but just wanted to pop in and say HELLO and to say thank you for the excellent dialogue this weekend.:happy2:

[MENTION=9757]NoraC[/MENTION], I loved your post from Belle. Thank you!
[MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION]-thank you for your post. I am with you: when I say I am sorry, I truly mean it and I want to be forgiven. That is how I feel and there is a huge sense of relief...especially when it came to my drinking. I wrote notes to people I had hurt/embarrassed because of my drinking and it was so cathartic for me. No one ever commented on my notes other than my sister who said, "Oh Rusty, that is all water under the bridge," and she said it with such love and compassion, I didn't dwell on it.
[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION]-I would have drunk AT the comments Kell made, too. I had the same attitude you did for a few years. I liked your comment that you thought we were both tigers protecting the people we love. So true.:love:
[MENTION=19302]Lizann[/MENTION]-I think you have a great plan in calling your sister and telling her how you feel...especially that you were very hurt that she went behind your back to your hubby. Talk about destroying the relationship between you two....that is a showstopper! If I were you, I would just write down exactly what you want to say and then have that in front of you while you talk to her, in case you get anxious and can't think Interesting that she mentioned that she is jealous of your kids and their achievements...that comment is very telling. She feels like she is competing with you and she is losing.
[MENTION=2634]bird[/MENTION]-I think we would all like to go to Australian and sing with Mr.G. LOL. Yup, some day.

Well, friends, I must run. Have a wonderful AF Sunday!

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

Safe travels Rusty and thank you for popping in before you leave Liz, excellent idea to keep a note in front of you just in case you forget the points you're trying to make,also your sister shouldn't be jealous of your kids,cripes they're her family too! My kids have taken harder paths in life than most but I am still proud of the people they are,your sister needs to be proud of her kids even though they're not living up to her expectations and she should be proud of yours cuz they're her nieces and nephews,jealousy is such a waste of emotions to me. Nora,how's your mom doing this weekend? How's little Savannah? Seems that when a son has a baby they rely on the mother's side of the family more,is that how it is with them? I'd be irritated a bit if it is like that but I don't know that's how it is,just seems like you don't get to see her as much,Bird,your two daughters are awesome too! Very happy they're such accomplished girls,you're lucky much love to all and wishes for a happy and healthy AF Sunday!!

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

How's little Savannah? Seems that when a son has a baby they rely on the mother's side of the family more,is that how it is with them? I'd be irritated a bit if it is like that but I don't know that's how it is,just seems like you don't get to see her as much

Pauly - oh my gosh, yes! And I understand that logically, in my brain. But, my heart is another story. They are with her family quite often. Several times a week. Sometimes we go 2-3 weeks without seeing them and we're just a few minutes farther away. C is good with facetiming but it's not the same.
But, I am working really hard on not being jealous. I agree with what you said about jealousy. It's such a wasted emotion. So, I'm trying really hard to focus on the happy times when we do get to see them.
I had built up a dream in my head and I need to let that vision go and embrace the role that I am playing in Savannah's life. :heartbeat:

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

Aww Nora,I was a bit hesitant to post that and almost went back and edited it out cuz I didn't want to assume anything but I know that you wish you spent more time with your granddaughter and probably did have huge ideas about how it was gonna be,I think cuz Liz and I have our grandbabies by our daughters is why we see them so much,I understand the jealousy and I would be too,I do get like that when the kids' other gramma takes Lou to the park or Chuck e cheese but then I hafta slap myself and remind myself to be happy that there's so many people who love them and they're lucky for that(but I still want them to love me more haha)

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

BTW,I think it will be different when Savannah is bigger too,when Lou was a baby he knew his other gram more cuz they we're staying with her and sometimes when I tried to pick him up he wouldn't go to me but then after he got older and I had him more he ended up being one of my best friends

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

BTW,I think it will be different when Savannah is bigger too,when Lou was a baby he knew his other gram more cuz they we're staying with her and sometimes when I tried to pick him up he wouldn't go to me but then after he got older and I had him more he ended up being one of my best friends

Thank you for that :hug:

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION], I think you're right about the grandkid situation. [MENTION=9757]NoraC[/MENTION]. I think dans parents and even Dan feel the same away. We are with him alot. His parents usually call Dan every Saturday and say they're stopping by.
Logan and Erin are sleeping over tonight! He's all over the place right now! [MENTION=2634]bird[/MENTION], I'm glad the trunk think kinda worked out!
I'll post more tomorrow when little fingers aren't all over everywhere!

[bird]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

Hi all,
Not much going on, went out to the mounds yest the honeysuckle here is blooming everywhere and very nice. Saw some mulberry trees dropping fruit already also a few ripe blackberries. Taking the kids up to Helen Ga. next Tuesday and Wed., gonna be kinda pricey but who know when we will get another trip together with the kids getting older and dd1 moving on soon. Dd1 bringing her bf and dd2s might come. I got an airbnb within walking distance of everything so I can go hiking and they can stay in town if they don't want to go with me. They sleep until lunch at least anyway, I can get a hike in and back before they get up hahaha....Liz, how was the sleepover? .....Nora, I didn't see my grandma growing up very often, but she had a great influence on me. I still think of her everyday. ...Rusty, safe traveling.....Paulie, I think being proud of your kids is the best thing. I see so many parents belittling their kids and saying so much negative stuff.Kids need to know they are loved and accepted and ok. .....well off to start my day...

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

Morning friends,Bird sounds like a fun trip planned I always let my girls bring their bf's along with us too, luckily I liked most of the boys they dated throughout the years,had Lou and Rome for a bit yesterday and they were good until me and Lou wanted to have a coloring contest then of course Romeo started acting like a turd! We just colored around his grabby hands and screams haha,Lou said my dragon looked like a duck! I'm the worst drawer as it is waves and wishes for a happy AF Monday for us all!

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2019

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION], you crack me up when you call Romeo a turd! Sounds like you had a lot of fun with the boys. They are so lucky to have such a fun grandma! I'm sure they love coming over by you! [MENTION=2634]bird[/MENTION], your trip sounds lovely! A hike before the kids wake up sounds great, I think I would enjoy that too. The day is gone by the time they get up! Like you my grandparents weren't around. They lived in Germany. My dads family spoiled us rotten always sending us packages and gifts and letters. Mom's mom not so much. mom was the youngest of 10 kids, so we were the youngest of tons of other grandkids. Never really got to know them. Dad's mom visited us. It was what it was, I didn't know any different. As an adult I kind of understand, my maternal grandmothers position, but I am sad she didn't seem to put any effort in getting to know us.
I love honeysuckle BTW.
Sleepover with Logan was fun. She kept him up until 9! He slept past 8 today so it was easy getting ready this morning. Work was super busy and the day flew! Texted with TS today and K left and is on her way to Ohio. She said she the emotions come in waves. I will call her tomorrow morning and talk to her. Can't say I'm looking forward to it. Plus dentist tomorrow!! Is it Wednesday yet? [MENTION=9757]NoraC[/MENTION], I know you guys are busy with your mom, but I wonder if you guys could manage to pop over to Your sons house on the weekend to see Savannah. Just tell him you want to stop in for an hour or so to see her. Although we are managing to keep Logan familiar with CJ and Mark via FaceTime. Gotta tell you it is really is a wonderful thing. [MENTION=1214]Rusty[/MENTION], hope you're having a good week working and the weathers not to bad. Did you get snow like we've been hearing here? Did you find out what happened to Moms Meds? [MENTION=8902]Glass Half Empty[/MENTION] how are you feeling? A friend of mine had an endoscopy today, she has a bleeding ulcer.. Hope you're on the mend.