June Army Thread 2019

[stirly-girly]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

[MENTION=11158]stirly-girly[/MENTION]
Sorry cross-posted with you earlier but my bus was due and I've been tearing my hair out watching day-time TV.
Now there's a question and a half.............easiest way to reply would be I haven't come across a situation that would make me drink............yet.
Back in the day, anything would set me off........the stress at work, the kids coming in late, celebrate good times, drown bad times.........you name it I could find a reason to pick up a bottle.
There have been times over the last 10 years I could have picked up a bottle or three and a few sneaky vodka miniatures from the corner shop........but I had tools that I learnt at AA, NA, Smart, MWO and the many relapses...........I had a very understanding doctor who was by my side, a fabulous counsellor .........I listened to him and it sunk in..........not like other counsellors I'd had before.Hoping they would finish the session so I get on with going home and getting stuck in to what I actually had in my bag.
I'm very lucky wear we live. Its a small city.......I have my rules if we go to a party/function/gig. I'll be blowed if I'm driving..........so I say a fond farewell and I just leave them to it and get a taxi home. Its a damned sight cheaper than the copious amounts I used to drink. Our friends have got used to me not drinking and tbh think they like me better.
I could go all cosmos and say the planets aligned, my star sign was in the right place but the bottom line is I was going to die and I really wanted to live. Before I was just existing.

AND you've got a good man by your side and very supportive, understanding kids. I think that that is very important as well. And your support group here at MWO. And yes, things happened at the right time for you and good thing they did. Look where you are today - a wedding this summer, maybe be a Granny soon and planning a possible trip to the US next year. 10 years ago you wouldn't have given a toss about any of them. Life is good. Even with the ups and downs, it's damn good to be alive and free!!!!

[IamMary]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Great posts ladies.
I agree with [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION], not having been pushed to the same limits as Bridge and Stirs, I dont know how I would cope. Thus far, Ive gotten through the good, bad and ugly with a sigh of relief that Im not drinking on top of everything else. I suppose I feel very much in control now and I dont want to lose that.
Sometimes its the ordinary I fear more, the day I become complacent and a 'fuk-it' thought wanders in.

Do you think it would have made a difference [MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION] if you had checked in every night, vented, shared where your head was at?

I actually have a bone to pick with you, why did you pick such a long bloody name, I have to check my spelling when I @ you (like I can talk) :haha: [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION] and [MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION] - there's proper @ names!!

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

That's hysterical @IamMary ....who hasn't got such a short name herself :harhar:

I suppose I could just change it to Bridge now which would have made no sense ten years ago when I joined. I'll see if I can do it.

Would it have made a difference to check in every night? Jeez, I don't think so. I was paralysed with fear. The biggest problem was that I could not stop thinking about it. Constantly ruminating and regurgitating. I'd go to a supermarket and think 'I wonder if that woman is going to be on the jury' 'I wonder if this has leaked out and that guy there knows'. 'How will we get out of the courthouse's one exit without journalist's photographing us' 'What will they say at work?' Small city here and the head of detectives has a son that went to school with the boy. Y'know? After a year of that every day and night I couldn't stand it any more. I had to do something.

The interesting thing is - unbeknownst to me , here is Stirly going through not one, but two, very similar things, and she didn't pick up a drink. Chances are unlikely that I will ever experience anything similar to this arseholery. So is that the only thing that could tip me over? Or are there other things yet to be revealed?
I want to have a good hard think now so that I never get blindsided again. I like being sober.

[starty]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Hmmm what makes us pick up a drink after extended sobriety.....In your case Bridgey, did you have any support while you were going through this? To me on the outside it doesnt seem like you did. I wonder if that contributed to it. For me, it appears it is not the big things but rather smaller, constant things For example while caring for my mum while she was suffering from terminal cancer I never thought to drink. While going through day to day stresses at work, not enough time to relax and boredom for a long period along with a FOMO feeling, that seemed to wear me down and lose my resolve....for 5 years :haha: I hate drinking, it is a robber of self.

[stirly-girly]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Good morning Army!!

Would it have made a difference to check in every night? Jeez, I don't think so. I was paralysed with fear. The biggest problem was that I could not stop thinking about it. Constantly ruminating and regurgitating. I'd go to a supermarket and think 'I wonder if that woman is going to be on the jury' 'I wonder if this has leaked out and that guy there knows'. 'How will we get out of the courthouse's one exit without journalist's photographing us' 'What will they say at work?' Small city here and the head of detectives has a son that went to school with the boy. Y'know? After a year of that every day and night I couldn't stand it any more. I had to do something.

The interesting thing is - unbeknownst to me , here is Stirly going through not one, but two, very similar things, and she didn't pick up a drink. Chances are unlikely that I will ever experience anything similar to this arseholery. So is that the only thing that could tip me over? Or are there other things yet to be revealed?
I want to have a good hard think now so that I never get blindsided again. I like being sober.

First, Bridge, let me say that what I was and still am going through is not as devastating as what you went through because for us there was no "fear of being found out" involved directly. My nephew lives in Canada so I was somewhat removed from the immediate situation. With younger son, it's different, we're still in the process but there are not the factors involved that there were in your situation. I saw my boy break down many times and he doesn't do that and he still struggles daily with all of this. But we didn't have to face possible public outrage and condemnation. Nothing at all like that. That, as you said, was hell for both of you. You are an amazingly strong woman to have gotten through it without giving in sooner. And as we've said before - good for you on getting back on track as soon as you did.

Hmmm what makes us pick up a drink after extended sobriety.....In your case Bridgey, did you have any support while you were going through this? To me on the outside it doesnt seem like you did. I wonder if that contributed to it. For me, it appears it is not the big things but rather smaller, constant things For example while caring for my mum while she was suffering from terminal cancer I never thought to drink. While going through day to day stresses at work, not enough time to relax and boredom for a long period along with a FOMO feeling, that seemed to wear me down and lose my resolve....for 5 years :haha: I hate drinking, it is a robber of self.

Starts, I think your question is very pertinent. Support is a big thing. Or some way of releasing all the anxiety, stress, anger, resentment, whatever so that it doesn't build up inside of you. I vent. Garrulously. And often. Luckily there is Skype and I have a very patient sister and BIL in Canada. I have to get it out there and they are my sounding board. What you say about AL is also true - it takes away our strength, our reason for living, our very selves.

Mers - good to see you - did I read something about more kittens?

Some of the Army are MIA - hope they check in soon.

Wishing you all the best day you can make it!!

[rustop59]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Good morning everyone. Just got home last night. Amazing holiday, beautiful weather, lots of walking, crocheting and laughter. Fantastic group of women and no alcohol involved. Need to have a read back but doggies looking for their walk first.

[satz123]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

What is an acceptable 'excuse' to relapse? Is there such a thing? How to alchis get though extremely stressful events without drinking? I wonder what I could have done differently?

At this stage I've so brainwashed myself into believing that alcohol does absolutely nothing for me. I've thought about how a drink would feel - and to be honest I can't say I'd be in a hurry back to it.
That is not to say if I hit a very stressful situation I won't resort to something.
I know many alternative therapies work but I would take whats's necessary to get me through the pain / trauma but it won't be alcohol. I believe that boat has sailed. Too messy

God I hope I don't live to regret all that high & mighty yapping. FFS I'll probably turn into a druggie next ! :egad:

[MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION]

Why can some people grab a 'nice' cup of tea when they're stressed and the likes of us reach for alcohol?
There's no rhyme or reason to it.

YOU are those 'people' now ....... accept it.

[JackieClaire]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Morning,
Crikey, I'm tired. My sleep is all over the place. Someone be a love and the stick the kettle on.
[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION].........I just go advanced, scroll down then copy and past the name when I want to do a bit of @@@ing.
[MENTION=15758]rustop59[/MENTION]......welcome home. Wish you'd brought some sun home.

That's the thing I like being sober. In fact, I love it. Its unbelievable to me now that I was so beholden to alcohol. In fact there's a lot of young people turning their back on it.
As I said I'm tired its not a long post this morning.........if I hadn't stripped the bedding I'd go back to bed.

[4theboyz]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

A few comments above inspired me to share this awesome meme. It is a cold bucket of water ANY time a dumb stupid notion of drinking ever again attempts at creeping my brain. Have a fab day everyone! circle.jpg

[abcowboy]

I thought maybe I’d jump in on the tail end of this discussion, not that what I add is of any more consequence than what has already been said…

What excuse is good enough to drink again? Obviously the right answer is none, no excuse or reason should be good enough to start drinking again. However, that’s not always the easiest answer as we’ve seen and possibly experienced.

I’m pretty much still wet behind the ears when it comes to sobriety [MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION], but I like to think that I’m pretty firm and confident in my quit. That being said, I’ve never had any catastrophic or monumental circumstance to test my quit either. If and when it does happen, and I’m sure it will at some point, I like to think that I won’t go running for a case of beer or bottle of rum to help me deal with it. And just what is a test of my sobriety? I deal with problems most every day, and somehow I manage to get through them without escaping. Is any excuse or test bigger than others, or is it just our mind making them out to be? And I really believe that is where faith, hope, and gratitude play such an important role when it comes to sobriety!

Faith that what I’ve learned so far in my sobriety will carry me through, faith that my sobriety is stronger than whatever problem or event that life can throw at me. And faith that I’ll turn to my support system if and when I really need it.

Hope that my sobriety is indeed strong, not just a passing thing waiting for the first real excuse to let me have another drink. Hope that when and if I reach out for support, it will be there for me. And hope that no matter what happens, I don’t drink is more important than absolutely needing a drink to get me through.

There is always something to be grateful for in every situation, but it does take a bit to train the mind to look positively instead of negatively at every situation we have to deal with. Be grateful for what we have, what we’ve learned and shared, and for everything we have in life. Life won’t always be easy, but it’s a darn sight better than the alternative.

And when I find myself thinking about my sobriety, wondering if it will stand the test of time, I realize the test of time for me is every single day! Every day I don’t reach for a drink proves to me that I didn’t need a drink to get through that day. What will tomorrow bring? Who knows, but I’ll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. I guess that’s why they say it really is one day at a time...

[IamMary]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Well I never clicked the 'go advanced' button before! [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION], hilarious, theres all sorts of interesting buttons down there :haha:
Ive just rated this thread 'excellent'.
Whats going on with your sleep?

[MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION], sorted, you may keep your name

Great to see you back Rustop. No alcohol at all!! How refreshing.

Mers - good to see you - did I read something about more kittens?

Yes, stirls, 2 mad yolks and they have made themselves part of the family already :heart:

Bridge, you didnt drink until AFTER it was all over? You didnt drink through it? Did you plan to drink after?
Sorry for dissecting this and you can tell me to feck off, but I think we are all learning from this.

[stirly-girly]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Good morning Army!!

I don't know what the weather is like where the rest of you are but I wish I could send some of ours your way. Blue, blue skies with wispy clouds, temperatures just where they should be - about 25C, with a light, cool breeze. It doesn't get better than this!!

[MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION], sorted, you may keep your name

Great to see you back Rustop. No alcohol at all!! How refreshing.


Yes, stirls, 2 mad yolks and they have made themselves part of the family already :heart:

Bridge, you didnt drink until AFTER it was all over? You didnt drink through it? Did you plan to drink after?
Sorry for dissecting this and you can tell me to feck off, but I think we are all learning from this.

I think discussions like this are of benefit to all of us no matter what stage of our sobriety we are at or if we are trying to quit or even just lurking, trying to get info. It gives all of us insight as to what could trigger a relapse, how to avoid it and/or how to move on afterwards. This, after all, is what the forum is all about. I hope Bridge feels comfortable answering the questions because frankly, someone else might have given in long before she did, given the circumstances and the time involved - 18 months, if I'm not mistaken. Plus, it had to do with her child - how much more stressful could that have been?

Mary - love kittens. Hope your kids are having lots of fun with them. Toss them a tin-foil ball and watch them go wild!!

Jackie - hope you got a better night's sleep!

WIshing you all a great day. Hey, it's Friday - weekend in just a few hours!!!

[JackieClaire]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Morning,
I've never been a good sleeper to start with.........but this last week I've had to sleep in a sports bra to protect where they took the biopsy its been a tad sore, to say the least so woke me up if I turned over. Funny thing is the only sport I do is listening to cricket on the radio. You won't find me hiking up a mountain........a gentle stroll with Bess on the big field is about as far as I get. I don't even run for a bus these days.
[MENTION=5134]4theboyz[/MENTION] .......I love that quote. Don't be a stranger.
[MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION].........thank you for sharing........same don't be a stranger to you.
[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION]...........took me an age to work that one out. I was scribbling names down on a piece of paper. Loving the 5 stars.
Weather wise we've got a fine morning today then its going vile for the weekend. Rain and wind up to 60mph.......such fun.

Waves to everyone...I'm going up to the shops so just message me if you need anything.

[JackieClaire]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Just a quickie
Who would have thought back in the day on a Friday evening I'd be over-excited about Gardeners World on TV.I do now. I throb Monty Don and his dog Nigel. Its sweet-peas this week. :applouse:
Even quicker edit......Mers.........what are the kitties names?

[IamMary]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION]...........took me an age to work that one out. I was scribbling names down on a piece of paper. Loving the 5 stars.

Your told me about it!! Of course, I forgot you would still be a bit sore. Well, I had no idea to be honest.
Kittens are Asteroid and Näsa. Youngest has a space thing going on at the moment, middle agreed as long as Nasa had an “umlaut” over the 1st a. (dont ask).

Great fun with the tinfoil balls [MENTION=11158]stirly-girly[/MENTION]!!

Watching The Chernobyl 5 part drama series. Bleak and superbly done. Anyone watched it?