What's age got to do with it?

[paulywogg]

Curiosity got me thinking about this subject,when I first came to MWO I was 38 and reading my posts from back then it's obvious that I wasn't ready to give up alcohol completely,I've noticed that most of the posters on here are 50+ and I wonder does being older make it easier to get and stay sober? There's alot of outings with friends in our 20's 30's that include bars and such but it seems that now that I'm in my 40's I have little desire to go to those places! I'm just wondering if as we get to an age if it actually makes it a bit easier as opposed to our younger years?

[mollyka]

Re: What's age got to do with it?

Yeah Pauly..in ways it may be easier when we've sort of 'been there- done that'.....but..the wasted years you know? I regret them and I would love to have more time to enjoy being me....tbh rather than enjoying pubs and clubs and parties...I think I just enjoyed being blathered in pubs and clubs and parties

[abcowboy]

Interesting question Pauly! Of course the “proper” answer is that age shouldn’t make a difference, if you need to be sober, you need to be sober. Don’t think that happens in real life though. I believe that social pressures are far greater to the younger generation than they are to people in my age range. At my age, I certainly don’t need to “fit in”, nor in a lot of cases do I want to “fit in”. The older we get the more often we say “been there, done that, no thanks.

There’s also the issue of looking into the future. I was the same, “I have lots of years to enjoy drinking before I need to quit, if I ever need to quit” and then those years were gone. Even when I was younger I now realize I had a drinking problem, but I’m sure I thought that I could control it, or at least I had lots and lots of time to get it under control.

But we can beat that horse for hours, if you’re an alcoholic there is only one answer, no matter what age you are. As Molly said, we can waste away all those years, or get sober early and enjoy all those years. In my opinion, your observation of the age of people here is the biggest concern. When young people accept they have a problem, where do they go for help?

I’ve nosed around a lot of online forums, and I’ve noticed a lot of thread categories, but I’ve never seen any categories based on age. So a young person googles how to quit drinking, looks around at a few forums, and sees people talking about their children and grandchildren. I don’t think those young people are any different than me when I was younger, you’re too old to understand what I’m going through, things are much different now.

I imagine AA would be different in the bigger centres, but in my rural area all the AA members in most of the AA chapters are all around the same age as me. So the young person finally gets up the courage to go their first meeting and walks into a room full of gray haired people! Not surprising that they don’t come back.

I don’t have the answer other than to say we have to keep reaching out to those young people whenever we can, offer support however we can, and hope that one day they will find the support they need…

[JackieClaire]

Re: What's age got to do with it?

There's a good few articles about the younger generation turning their backs on alcohol and drugs. Here's just one from the UK.
Millennials shunning alcohol as getting drunk is no longer cool
When I was younger I drank as much as I purse allowed.
I can't pinpoint the day I realized when I crossed the line. I was always first in and last to leave. I would compare my drinking to others all the time, rationalizing I wasn't as bad as others.
When I worked at the sober cafe.........one of my very first events was to set up a party for a woman celebrating her 10th sober anniversary.......she was 34 years old and I'll admit I was flabberghasted. She's not the only one. There's many younger ones in AA/NA/SMART.......as well as the meetings there's one heck of a social life going on.
Perhaps us older folks use on-line forums as we really don't want to be out after dark

[mollyka]

Re: What's age got to do with it?

...i have been at meetings with 18 yr olds...often..and In rehab well just thinking back ..there were 12 of us..one woman in her 70's..me in my 50's another man the same as me ..then the rest were 20-45....
At work scuse phone typing

[scotskev81]

Re: What's age got to do with it?

I read an article that said age 29 is round about the age when hangovers are at their worst for so called “normal drinkers”

This was partly due to the fact that around this time most of them have been drinking steadily for approx 13 years and they suddenly realise they can’t drink like they used to. Still fresh in their memory are the glory days of being 21 ish and not having so bad hangovers then.
Add to that is they are not quite as young as they used to be and the body can’t handle it quite so well.


Interestingly it did say that much older people might not suffer hangovers so bad as this 29 year old age mark. Perhaps because they do diminish the amount they drink as they get into their 40s and 50s. (i.e. don’t do jager bombs or sambooka shots anymore, maybe just sip pints of weaker beer instead)

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: What's age got to do with it?

Our poor bodies Pauly. Imagine all the poison that's flowed down our throats and through our livers. No wonder our bodies bite back at 50+
And how elegant does a middle-aged woman look staggering around with her eyes hanging out of her head, slurring and swearing and falling all over the place. Very dignified.

[Slo]

Re: What's age got to do with it?

Yes, I definitely think it’s a harder challenge to get sober and live sober as a young adult! There is more of a social whirlwind and many more drinking occasions and a stronger desire to fit in.

Interesting about the hangovers, [MENTION=21863]scotskev81[/MENTION]. My hangovers became way less severe because of my increasing tolerance to alcohol. I hardly noticed them! Not actually a good sign.

[scotskev81]

Re: What's age got to do with it?

Yes, I definitely think it’s a harder challenge to get sober and live sober as a young adult! There is more of a social whirlwind and many more drinking occasions and a stronger desire to fit in.

Interesting about the hangovers, [MENTION=21863]scotskev81[/MENTION]. My hangovers became way less severe because of my increasing tolerance to alcohol. I hardly noticed them! Not actually a good sign.

I think the hangover information was about people who maybe don’t drink too much that often, but when they do they go for it. A good example would be a stag do, birthday or xmas party level of drinking that won’t be repeated for a while after.

At 19 years old the hangover is small, but same again at 29 is mega bad and the whole day is a right off.

[paulywogg]

Re: What's age got to do with it?

I dunno about age but when I've drank I'm super hungover and need oxygen and a respirator! My mom is 68 drinks then gets up needing only a Pepsi and a cheeseburger,I remember being in my 30's cuz that's when I started drinking and I'd stay up til 2 drinking and get up for work,no shakes,no nausea or anything so who knows,I do hope that this younger generation is avoiding alcohol,part of me thinks it's because marijuana was legalized which I have no problem with as I've said before I'd rather my "kids" do that then drink, alcohol sucks and is still so heavily advertised as a fabulous time,I'm defo sick of it being such a normal part of my TV watching haha,thanks everyone for your views

[4theboyz]

Re: What's age got to do with it?

I too have mulled this over as to why I have been able to string 422 days together now when in the last 10 years, I got one stretch of 5 months and the other 13 times I tried I got one maybe 2 months sober and then back down the Rabbit Hole. For me myself, the answer is quite easy and obvious. If I did not stop drinking when I did I would have been dead 6 months ago. Certain death is one hell of a motivator. But I will add that during this last year I have learned things about sobriety, specifically my own sobriety I did not know or was aware of the other 14 times I tried to gain sobriety. And frankly, I am a little nonplussed as to how little certain issues like anxiety and stress were not addressed in my time in AA and even my 6 months in outpatient. Stress is only mentioned 2 times in AA literature and in 52 handouts I collected in outpatient not one was on stress. I finally got diagnosed both as clinically depressed and that I had serious PTSD and I got appropriate treatment for both and I can only surmise this has made a real difference in me having zero interest in alcohol anymore.

[satz123]

Re: What's age got to do with it?

Perhaps us older folks use on-line forums as we really don't want to be out after dark

That made me laugh out loud Jacks :harhar: