November 2019: International Army

[rustop59]

Re: November 2019: International Army

Night everyone. Poor Joe, fingers crossed it is only the two of them going. You are right Mary, it would be a million times worse with a hangover. Thanks for posting the recipe Bridget, might try it out.

[NoraC]

Re: November 2019: International Army

@NoraC has it ever come up about getting residential care for your Mam ? Do you see it, as many I see daily do, as 'giving up' ?
Don't ....
My mother is thriving.... well - she has stabilized and 100% better than she was at home and if we were trying to juggle things.
I know by her she still wants to preserve her dignity & would hate for her kids to have to change her ,wash her etc. Much easier ( for everyone) if 'a nurse' does that.
She has 24 /7 care and lots of company , activities & visits.

But then that's us .... every family has it's own way ....

Thank you for that. We have considered it actually. It might come to that. We just have always planned on having her with us as long as possible.
Mom was always quiet and not outgoing. Shy I guess. So, I do worry that she would end up just quietly sitting in a corner somewhere and not join in. But, who knows, she could love it.
The truth is that I just don't know if I could put her somewhere. I just don't know if I could do it. I know that logically you are right but in my heart it hurts.
The cost here is ridiculous for the memory care units. Probably $8,000.00 to $13,000.00 per month in my area. That will go thru her money quickly so we want to put it off as long as possible.
So, there is my story.

[NoraC]

Re: November 2019: International Army

Mary - you are so right about the part time work and the expectations! Good job on you being the designated driver. Nice that you lasted til 12:30. LOL

[mollyka]

Re: November 2019: International Army

Morning folks .slept in a bit so running late..that's a terrible lot of money Nora.. my mum never wanted to go into a home..she wud have hated it..also shy and retiring...whereas I...put me in. Give me a room full of books and I'd be happy out! Different strokes etc...laters xxx

[satz123]

Re: November 2019: International Army

[MENTION=9757]NoraC[/MENTION] :hug: Ah Nora you are doing a great job ..... as Molls says ..... different strokes ....
My Mam always said she didn't want to be in a Care Home either but ...... that was then. With the level of care she was getting if she'd stayed at home she'd be dead now.
Thankfully I suppose with the type of dementia she has - she doesn't really know she's in a care home.
We dropped her back last night & she said "oh thank heavens I'm home " Her friend & room mate was waiting for her & they just started yapping..
She thinks she's just in a hospital for her chest problem - which is also true.
She has IPF and this has to be monitored. If she stayed at home & got an infection she'd have to go to A&E again & that was an horrendous experience last time. it could kill her.

Average Nursing Home care here is 1600 a week. A combination of her pension + a % of the home place ( not much) when sold after death and the state pays the rest.


[MENTION=8529]mollyka[/MENTION] : Get saving Molls ..... :haha:
I'll get you a spot in my place.
Lovely old period building , your own gorgeous room overlooking the Liffey, 3 freshly cooked meals a day from their own kitchen & chefs. Whatever you request.

You'd be happy as a pig-in-shit ...

[JackieClaire]

Re: November 2019: International Army

Morning internationals,
Its a hard one.........think I'm with you, Molls. I'd want my crochet hook and knitting needles and some wool. But its all down to finance these days. I've got three Aunts (on my father's side...there were six of them) with dementia and Alzheimers. Two in homes and one in an assisted village type place.
There have been some fabulous advances in medical care and we all can and do live longer but did anyone stop for a moment and wonder what would happen with a much older population.
That's today's debate.

[MENTION=15758]rustop59[/MENTION].............I am absolutely hooked to this years Jungle. Roman Kemp is a sweetheart and Kaitlynn Jenner is just fabulous.
[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION].............luckily we're a small town. So its taxis or public transport. I can drive but a) a taxi is a 10th of what I'd have shelled out if I was drinking. b)I hate driving.........did take some refresher lessons a while ago but my nerve its gone. c) even if I did drive I'm not bringing home a bunch of drunks behaving like chimpanzees.

Right on with the day.

[satz123]

Re: November 2019: International Army

even if I did drive I'm not bringing home a bunch of drunks behaving like chimpanzees.

[MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION] Well said :welldone:

There have been some fabulous advances in medical care and we all can and do live longer but did anyone stop for a moment and wonder what would happen with a much older population.
That's today's debate.

Well IMVHO medical care is wonderful but at what stage do we stop intervention. Keeping folk alive for the sake of it ? - I do not agree with. And that applies to any stage of life - not just the elderly.
My pal Paddy has the right idea. The cancer will kill him - so he wants to decide how & where it will happen. He does not want to be lying for weeks in a strange ward in hospital dying & all that entails. I'm SO with him on that. He will stay with us and be surrounded by friends at the end.

Discuss .....

[Jude58]

Re: November 2019: International Army

Hey [MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION] (cant type that without bursting into song), saw your post on the shouty thread. Well done on 6 days! back on the wagon..
What brought on the relapse do you think? Are you armed with a good plan for the next few weeks?
Bounce anything off us here..

Mary, not exactly sure what caused me to slip, but I suspect that it has a lot to do with being out on disability after having rotator cuff surgery. It's been 2 months now, and the pain is getting better, but I am still somewhat limited as to what I can do. (Miss riding my horse terribly) I let myself get into a period of depression, boredom and loneliness, which I'm sure led to that first drink. I'm finally letting myself see the light at the end of the tunnel and my motivation to stay sober is strong once again.

Nora.....the cost of senior care facilities in the States is just ridiculous these days. Personally, I have no desire to live into my ninety's, as I've seen firsthand what life is like for them. Sadly, by that stage, most people don't have a choice in the matter.

Have a great day (or night) all!

[satz123]

Re: November 2019: International Army

Sadly, by that stage, most people don't have a choice in the matter.

Judy......So sad but so true .......
And I see women younger than me in care home for the elderly due to - (the one's I've seen ) - excess alcohol :
Men - not so much. I'm trying not to stereotype but there seems to be more acceptance of men getting alcohol related 'issues' and someone always there at home to care for them

These are my observations & IMVHO

ps : :welldone: on getting back on the wagon and carrying on.

[rustop59]

Re: November 2019: International Army

Well IMVHO medical care is wonderful but at what stage do we stop intervention. Keeping folk alive for the sake of it ? - I do not agree with. And that applies to any stage of life - not just the elderly.
My pal Paddy has the right idea. The cancer will kill him - so he wants to decide how & where it will happen. He does not want to be lying for weeks in a strange ward in hospital dying & all that entails. I'm SO with him on that. He will stay with us and be surrounded by friends at the end.

Discuss .....[/QUOTE]

I agree Satz, would hate to be kept alive for the sake of it. Have told daughters that I would like to go to Switzerland or somewhere like that. Dementia is worse for the family than the person themselves once they go past a certain stage in my opinion. However everyone is different and families do the best they can, I really admire the carers though. I was spared all of that with my parents.

Enjoying I’m a celebrity and also watching Mr Mercedes and The Crown on Netflix so plenty of entertainment. Half the working week over and feet up now for the evening.

[mollyka]

Re: November 2019: International Army

So glad you're back on the wagon Jude - just from my experience be careful with your quit this time round - can be a lot more vulnerable in early sobriety after a relapse than after an initial quit -- just to be conscious of what you need to do really... and don't be slow to talk out your feelings... its important - even if it's only online here.

Yeah - I agree with you about dementia Rusters.. that'd be my horror as you say - it's the family have the tough time whereas often the person suffering is unaware of that..
I wouldn't like to be kept alive if in pain etc.. but I always remember my mum saying to my sister 'who wants to live to be 90?' and my sisters reply was 'someone who is 89 and a half' -- and I think that may be true.. I would love to live a long as healthy life as possible - but smother me as soon as I'm not happy or troublesome to my family.

Off to bed I go - hello to everyone else - sorry if I missed loads of topics!

[IamMary]

Re: November 2019: International Army

Evening,
Those costs are ridiculous [MENTION=9757]NoraC[/MENTION]! You would need to be on some pension to afford it.

My mother always tells us that she intends to go fully bonkers, to get us back for our teenagers years :happy2:

Well done [MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION], good advice there from Molls. Not easy when you're recovering, more time in your own head.

Your right about driving the monkeys home [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION]. Not a big lover of driving either, but dont mind if its a short distance with just my buddy or hubby.
Actually would prefer to be at home every time.

Watching Line of Duty S5. Glued.

[JackieClaire]

Re: November 2019: International Army

Morning from up over land.
Really thoughtful replies. I always think about my dad. He had bowel cancer in his mid 60s and given the all clear. The cancer came back with a vengeance when he was 76 ...........he was offered treatement but when he asked how long he it would give him they said a year. It was highly invasive so he refused. He died 12 weeks later...........but in those 12 weeks he pottered round the garden and enjoyed himself. Could have been the morphine but he had that choice.

Anyway I've now done my back in so no-one think about carting me off to Switzerland just yet. A hot water bottle and ibuprofen will suffice for now.

[mollyka]

Re: November 2019: International Army

Morning! I've no idea how I'd react in the same situation as your Dad Jackie..I wonder would I cling on to anything I could get...no clue what way I'd go when push came to shove

[satz123]

Re: November 2019: International Army

Yeah I suppose Molls - we'll won't know till the time comes - till we see what situation we are in. Do we feel ready to go .....
I hope I'd have the courage to do what Daddy Jacks did - so much more dignified.
Morphine would be nice too.

(sorry)