December 2019: International Army

[mollyka]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Hi there Shady! yeah - there are mixed feelings about sugar in recovery - I was in treatment some years ago and they were very anti sugar - well sort of very - they would turn a blind eye if you had a bit of chocolate on the sly but there were no sugary foods provided at all... their reasoning was that eating sugar could be a trigger to return drinking... personally I never ever found that to be the case... I was very careful not to eat it in the first 6 months cos I didn't have the confidence to chance it.. but then I found (like smoking cigarettes) I needed occasionally just something to 'treat' myself with.. again - not s'posed to be a 'treat' -- but in my case it worked - stopped me feeling sorry for myself.. and then in time it all levelled out - stopped feeling sorry for myself - stopped wanting sugar and quit smoking... all in time -- but that was just me - in the very early days I'd be inclined to go by the book.

Nora congratulations!! Up till recently I wouldn't have felt envy of you retiring... but at the moment I would love to!! Good for you - you've enough on your plate... so happy for you

Morning everyone else xx

[JackieClaire]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Evening,
[MENTION=15947]Nursie[/MENTION]...........here's the thing. You've got an illness called alcoholism. Its early days in recovery and in these early days are when you treat yourself very gently and kindly Think about if you'd had a hip replacement no-one would expect you to run a marathon in the first year never mind the first month.
I know in my early days if I managed to get up and have a shower was an achievement.
As the days turn to weeks these tiny things add up until you feel 'human' again. One thing I did was put a pound coin in a jar and when I got a fair amount buy myself a treat lovely skin cream or make-up.
Try making a big fruit salad you can nibble on. Yogurts.
One thing though, if these feelings persist see your doctor you may just have depression. We use/used alcohol to hide all sorts of things.

Had to nip into town...........first thoughts were do I need my head read going into town this close to Christmas but it was oddly quiet. Where was everyone?

[satz123]

Re: December 2019: International Army

I can't remember if I told you that I gave notice at work. I'm working part time for another 4-6 weeks while I ease out of there. What a relief that the decision is made. Thanks for the advice Satz.

Ah Nora:hug: I am so happy for you. Life is too short to waste time with people who don't appreciate us...... :horse:

[satz123]

Re: December 2019: International Army

[MENTION=15947]Nursie[/MENTION]

if these feelings persist see your doctor you may just have depression. We use/used alcohol to hide all sorts of things.

Agree totally with JC.
The excess weight I know from experience can really affect mood.
Draw up a plan for New Year and tackle the excess weight in a structured way.
Like you I could not fit into clothes, and it is depressing - so I joined Weight Watchers.
There is a lady there who has lost 75lbs. She is amazing.

They have a new plan and I've lost 10.5 lbs in 3 weeks easily. ( [MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION] :yay
Psych yourself up for Jan 1 and go for it & begin to feel better about yourself. :hug:

[IamMary]

Re: December 2019: International Army

That much in 3 weeks! well done [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]!!

How are you doing Shades?
Thats interesting Molly about sugar in recovery and it makes sense. My friend (10 years sober) is an AA man and loves his chocolate, they seemed to encourage it way back when he was starting out..

I love the money in the jar idea JC. I calculated it in my head when I needed to justify 'my' presents. Bridge lost the run of herself with her vodka sofa, vodka clothes, vodka plants. Of course we are worth it

[satz123]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Thats interesting Molly about sugar in recovery and it makes sense. My friend (10 years sober) is an AA man and loves his chocolate, they seemed to encourage it way back when he was starting out..

YEah Mers . I remember back 6 years ago on my day one. What got me through was eating half a fruit cake a friend had given me before I headed for home from work. The sweetness seemed to satisfy me - so basically that cake saved me

[satz123]

Re: December 2019: International Army

And on the remembering bit.
When I was drinking this house sparkled at this time of year.
Today the feckin tree is only going up :egad:

I suppose the sugar gave false energy. Now the house is just ok , sometimes it's a tip but I don't care.
MrS now nags ME - he's the tidy freak...... ( to much training over the years I fear)
My days of running around with a cloth in one hand & a vacuum in the other all day, to justify my existence, are GONE!! :llama:

[JackieClaire]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Hi de hi,
[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION].........you know I remember that
:bravo: on the weight loss.
I carry a packet of Dextro Energy tablets in my handbag............every so often I get a sugar drop which makes me shaky. Got the idea from MIL. It seems a lot of nurses use them as they don't eat at proper times. I've tested for diabetes and nothing came up but these work.

Talking of in-laws we're just about ready for inspection of all the refurbing we've been doing. Just the back bedroom to tidy. Hopefully, Ma in Law will be well enough to pop over this weekend.

[JackieClaire]

Re: December 2019: International Army

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION].........cross post.
I was the same. When I worked at the wine merchants from mid-November to Christmas Eve I was more or less full time and the house was spotless. They let me off for an hour or two for Nativity plays and kid stuff. I even took the S&H in one day to sort invoices while Jenny was in charge of polishing glasses (we used to hire wine glasses out).
I remember my old boss making them a little wage packet with a tenner in it.
Mind you my pay-slip at the end od December was joy to behold.

[satz123]

Re: December 2019: International Army

I'm working a lot this week incl. weekend. So I'll have the pathetic fruits of my labours on 24th December.
Everything must go on the card till then :egad:

[rustop59]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Evening everyone. Congratulations on the weight loss Satz. I definitely have a sugar addiction and will have to get my act together in the New Year. Portion size is also an issue with me. Not motivated enough at this time of year to be addressing it though so I will enjoy all my lunches out. ThatÂ’s my social life, beats drinking.

Planning a long hike for Saturday so looking forward to it.

[mollyka]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Evening folks! Finally got my fella home this evening... he had a good week - think he's glad to be home tho..
My house needs a duster etc. badly - think I did do more when drinking - feck it... once no one gets typhoid or something from dirt hah!!
Desperate tired I am - really busy at work - and R is truly truly melting my head.. had to distance myself for the whole afternoon.. not good -- may have to do something in the new year -- well done on losing all that weight Benj -- janey mac that's fantastic -- you'll be sylph-like in no time!!
Started knitting an aran for myself so back I go to that.. night all!

[NoSugar]

Re: December 2019: International Army

This really struck me when I read it this morning [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION] (before spending the day in airports and on planes :apthy and it's been bouncing around in my head.

My days of running around with a cloth in one hand & a vacuum in the other all day, to justify my existence, are GONE!!

I feel sad for the NoSugar who always had a clean and tidy house, worked out incessantly to "look" fit and healthy, put a home cooked dinner on the table most nights, and never let anyone see her sweat. Nor did she tell anyone about the horrendous 3 a.m. wake-up sweats or the overwhelming feelings of being out of control. She deferred to others about what activities to do or movies to see, not feeling worthy of having anything she wanted.

From the outside, it looked like I had a perfectly managed and pleasant life. What a charade that was.

Now, I wish I could work up a bit of motivation for all the things I used to do in an attempt to compensate for and disguise the mess I was. I no longer care whether others think I'm in such good shape for my age or express astonishment at how very old I am. It's embarrassing now to think how those comments were so validating to me and made me feel a little more "ok". So, I'm pretty much of a slug at the gym these days and don't have much muscle to show off. I choose some of the movies (when I actually have an opinion) and I'd rather knit than clean or cook, so that's pretty much what I do...

No one should have to justify their existence - everyone is worthy and a blessing to the world. It is so sad that some of us forgot who we really are but am grateful we're remembering.

[satz123]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Now, I wish I could work up a bit of motivation for all the things I used to do

Arra that was just alcohol-fuelled fake motivation NS - not real ....
As for the gym & exercise - all I want is to fit into all the clothes in my wardrobe. After that I don't give a monkeys.
(but I do like the odd compliment I must confess)

Great post NS.

[satz123]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Evening folks! Finally got my fella home this evening... he had a good week - think he's glad to be home tho..
My house needs a duster etc. badly - think I did do more when drinking - feck it... once no one gets typhoid or something from dirt hah!!
Desperate tired I am - really busy at work - and R is truly truly melting my head.. had to distance myself for the whole afternoon.. not good -- may have to do something in the new year -- well done on losing all that weight Benj -- janey mac that's fantastic -- you'll be sylph-like in no time!!
Started knitting an aran for myself so back I go to that.. night all!

I know what that work situation is like Molls. I will have to distance myself also - because I have a few head-melters too and I truly feel I'm being discriminated against for my age. Myself & another older lady are being treated like imbeciles & the young ones are "great".
My boss is a thick and cannot see the wealth of experience we both have. It counts for nothing.
She cannot see the quality of the work they are producing - sloppy slapdash contracts, emails, mistakes, & lack of 1:1 communication skills.

I swear if I didn't like the job so much I'd tell her to shove it !!