December 2019: International Army

[Pavati]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Hi, All:

Actually, over cleaning has never been my problem... That was my husband's strength so we went with it. I proved my worth by becoming a workaholic. I NEVER missed work from a hangover, although there were definitely days I should have. I still work a lot but not to prove I'm alright.

Techie - that forgiveness has come hard won in Pav-land and I'm still not fully there - even after 6 years. I don't beat myself up, but I certainly still think I'm weak for "letting myself" get like this. I know intellectually it isn't "my fault," but I still have to work on forgiveness.

Christmas? When is that again??? No, not ready in the least...

Happy Friday, all.

[satz123]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Mr S is also in a toxic job, hes been there forever but things changed a few years back. To say he hates it is an understatement. Hes ready to walk into any job at all, as long as he can get there in 15/20 minutes. Its going to hurt financially but we'll just cut our cloth. There goes my refurb! :crybaby:

God yes Mers. He should do it. Life is too short to spend in a job you hate. And really bad for your health too I convinced of that !!

[rustop59]

Re: December 2019: International Army

God yes Mers. He should do it. Life is too short to spend in a job you hate. And really bad for your health too I convinced of that !!

Afternoon all. Sleep tight Bridget. Totally agree with you Satz. Typing on phone so just a short check in. It’s only one day and only one dinner, believe in making it as simple as possible and if they want extras they are welcome to do it themselves. Had a lovely morning. Brunch in Queen if Tarts, followed by walk around Christmas market in Dublin castle.

[mollyka]

Re: December 2019: International Army

No Pav I wasn't big into cleaning side of things but cooked banquets out of guilt regularly...and I also agree with you about the job Benjy...feeling frayed lately and I know why!!
Babysitting at minute..bit if a story bout lad who didn't get to Spain will update later!

[NoSugar]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Techie - that forgiveness has come hard won in Pav-land and I'm still not fully there - even after 6 years. I don't beat myself up, but I certainly still think I'm weak for "letting myself" get like this. I know intellectually it isn't "my fault," but I still have to work on forgiveness.

I’m not sure I’ve made it to forgiveness either, Pav, but I do feel compassion/pity for the addicted NoSugar who, weak though it was, was doing the best she could given what she knew at the time. In hindsight, it seems crazy that I didn’t understand myself and the situation better but it has only been over the last 6 years of doing the work to get past an adddiction that I’ve come to understand more of all that business. And I’m grateful for these years of questioning and growth because I’m almost sure I like the person I am now more than I would have liked myself without the experience of suffering and overcoming addiction. Talk about a transforming life lesson!

You are right, [MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION], I don’t have kids to clean up after and the grandsons who used to be around several times a week have moved so there really isn’t too much cleaning to do - other than a lot of dog fur! And when it isn’t perfect, I’m glad to say I’m totally fine with it now.

And, in my opinion, holiday meals are horribly overrated. You work for days getting them together and then people gobble it down in 20 minutes and then you get to hear them moan about how stuffed and uncomfortable they are... I’d rather have soup :eek-new: .

Have a good weekend, Army! NS

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: December 2019: International Army

This really struck me when I read it this morning @satz123 (before spending the day in airports and on planes :apthy and it's been bouncing around in my head.


I feel sad for the NoSugar who always had a clean and tidy house, worked out incessantly to "look" fit and healthy, put a home cooked dinner on the table most nights, and never let anyone see her sweat. Nor did she tell anyone about the horrendous 3 a.m. wake-up sweats or the overwhelming feelings of being out of control. She deferred to others about what activities to do or movies to see, not feeling worthy of having anything she wanted.

From the outside, it looked like I had a perfectly managed and pleasant life. What a charade that was.

Now, I wish I could work up a bit of motivation for all the things I used to do in an attempt to compensate for and disguise the mess I was. I no longer care whether others think I'm in such good shape for my age or express astonishment at how very old I am. It's embarrassing now to think how those comments were so validating to me and made me feel a little more "ok". So, I'm pretty much of a slug at the gym these days and don't have much muscle to show off. I choose some of the movies (when I actually have an opinion) and I'd rather knit than clean or cook, so that's pretty much what I do...

No one should have to justify their existence - everyone is worthy and a blessing to the world. It is so sad that some of us forgot who we really are but am grateful we're remembering.

I loved this little treasure of a post. I feel sorry for the Jones girl for the same reasons. I'm so far out of the habit of thinking about what I want for myself that I still don't. Can't remember the last time I chose a movie or outing or arrangement that suited me, not others. It becomes a lifestyle. That's one of my projects this year and to be prepared to make it happen even if I go myself. Let them fit in with me from now on. Or not.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: December 2019: International Army

The Lad WHo Missed the Plane to Spain. Should be a three part mini series and compulsory viewing at recovery meetings.

Hey JC: See this? HDclump — HDclump Loads of back episodes of Monty and puppers and The A-Z of TV gardening. Cooking shows and docos. There are ads.

[NoSugar]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Bridgette, this is the first movie I asked others to watch: Getting Grace (217) - IMDb

I love it so much. I’ve only introduced a few IRL people to it. I might be afraid they will reject it/me ???

[mollyka]

Re: December 2019: International Army

The Lad WHo Missed the Plane to Spain. Should be a three part mini series and compulsory viewing at recovery meetings.

Hey JC: See this? HDclump — HDclump Loads of back episodes of Monty and puppers and The A-Z of TV gardening. Cooking shows and docos. There are ads.

HAH!! How right you are Bridge - it's doing me a world of good tbh watching and listening to his behaviours. Poor man - he is in such a grip of the booze - he genuinely truly thinks he's 'not like those people' (us - I presume he means!) - he has lost EVERYTHING.... and yes - his wife died a few years back - and that is really sad - they were a great couple and it was tragic..... but..... he also has 3 children - they are gone...… he had a beautiful house..... that's in tatters and probably will be lost..... he had loads of friends..... they are all gone (with the vague exception of Joe and R and they really are getting cheesed off with him)… he had an amazing job... 6 figure sum yada yada.... all gone...
BUT -- he's sitting with Joe and R on Thurs morn.. they dragged him out of the house to talk to him.. up in the coffee shop - and asks can they go to Spain in March instead.. 'and I can have a few pints then cos I'll be on holidays' --- Joe just saw red really - and he told it how it is.... R is as soft as butter and he was nodding in agreement.. so there we are... will any of it go in? nope - he's going back down to the treatment centre on Monday - Joe's bringing him down... will it make any difference? Nope I don't think so.. he is so far from recovery it just isn't funny... so fucking sad

Bridgette, this is the first movie I asked others to watch: Getting Grace (217) - IMDb

I love it so much. I’ve only introduced a few IRL people to it. I might be afraid they will reject it/me ???

Am I being thick --- what's IRL?

[mollyka]

Re: December 2019: International Army

BTW --- good morning everyone!

[JackieClaire]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Morning,
Would have been here a tad earlier but been on my knees praying to the printer to work.
[MENTION=8529]mollyka[/MENTION]............ooh just remembered a phrase from someone who 12 stepped me.............."take the cotton wool out of your ears and put it in your mouth"............basically shut up and listen. I hated the very bones of her for a very long time and its hard to believe we're friends now.
Whatever anyone says about AA its a godsend for those who live alone.

errm me too what's IRL?

[MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION]............try as I might I can't find The Boy who missed the plane. But I'll be having a good auld look at HDclump.

Its red cabbage making day today.

[NoSugar]

Re: December 2019: International Army

IRL=in real life. Sorry about that

[JackieClaire]

Re: December 2019: International Army

IRL=in real life. Sorry about that

Ohhhhhhhhhh. Well, I never did. We learn something everyday No need for apology.
You know we have Gay Pride why can't we have Recovery Pride?

[techie]

Re: December 2019: International Army

Hi all. I just had a hip replacement this past Tuesday. Having a bit of a struggle with pain and mobility. PT is coming to my home on Monday. My worst pain is behind my knee toward my thigh. It does not appear to be DVT or blood clot. No swelling, red streaks, or fever. They gave me gabapentin, thinking it could possibly be sciatica, or maybe the surgeon nicked a nerve. My question is for anyone who has taken gabapentin had weird side effects? Mood swings, feeling weepy, etc. just strange stuff. All other meds I was prescribed I have taken before w/o major side effects. I would appreciate any and all feedback.

I’m going to stick closely to MWO and you Army. I tend to get cabin fever. As a life long serial runner, biker, skier, I’m concerned about drinking thinking. Why, because I already have been thinking about it. Yes, after ten years sobriety. My heart based intention is to stay strong and focused on my health and recovery. However, my ego mind is saying a glass of wine is good for recovery and yada yada yada. You get the picture. BTW, I won a major obstacle course race in San Diego this past October in my age category. My hip flared up after that event, and I’ve been extremely limited in any physical activity since. Sports have always been my lifelong passion. They have also my crutch, my insurance policy for not drinking.

Thank you in advance for any insight, or suggestions you have!

In loving gratitude,
Techie

[mollyka]

Re: December 2019: International Army

The Lad WHo Missed the Plane to Spain. Should be a three part mini series and compulsory viewing at recovery meetings.

Hey JC: See this? HDclump — HDclump Loads of back episodes of Monty and puppers and The A-Z of TV gardening. Cooking shows and docos. There are ads.

Morning,
Would have been here a tad earlier but been on my knees praying to the printer to work.
[MENTION=8529]mollyka[/MENTION]............ooh just remembered a phrase from someone who 12 stepped me.............."take the cotton wool out of your ears and put it in your mouth"............basically shut up and listen. I hated the very bones of her for a very long time and its hard to believe we're friends now.
Whatever anyone says about AA its a godsend for those who live alone.

errm me too what's IRL?

[MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION]............try as I might I can't find The Boy who missed the plane. But I'll be having a good auld look at HDclump.

Its red cabbage making day today.

Errrmmm --- I think Bridge was referring to Joe's mate as the lad who missed the plane to Spain:welldone:

Hi all. I just had a hip replacement this past Tuesday. Having a bit of a struggle with pain and mobility. PT is coming to my home on Monday. My worst pain is behind my knee toward my thigh. It does not appear to be DVT or blood clot. No swelling, red streaks, or fever. They gave me gabapentin, thinking it could possibly be sciatica, or maybe the surgeon nicked a nerve. My question is for anyone who has taken gabapentin had weird side effects? Mood swings, feeling weepy, etc. just strange stuff. All other meds I was prescribed I have taken before w/o major side effects. I would appreciate any and all feedback.

I’m going to stick closely to MWO and you Army. I tend to get cabin fever. As a life long serial runner, biker, skier, I’m concerned about drinking thinking. Why, because I already have been thinking about it. Yes, after ten years sobriety. My heart based intention is to stay strong and focused on my health and recovery. However, my ego mind is saying a glass of wine is good for recovery and yada yada yada. You get the picture. BTW, I won a major obstacle course race in San Diego this past October in my age category. My hip flared up after that event, and I’ve been extremely limited in any physical activity since. Sports have always been my lifelong passion. They have also my crutch, my insurance policy for not drinking.

Thank you in advance for any insight, or suggestions you have!

In loving gratitude,
Techie

Hi Techs -- nope I know nothing of gabapentin - so no good there.
Re. the drinking thinking - fair dues to you for recognising it for what it is.. I think be it a year - 10 years or 40 years those thoughts can appear when we are weakened by anything - emotional or physical - hence AA calling alcohol 'cunning' -- I know the feeling amongst the alcohol counselling community re. a perhaps over enthusiastic concentration on anything that we lose ourselves in is not necessarily a good thing at all. It's like sometimes folks need to find a replacement for the grog without dealing adequately with the 'why' of why we drank. I s'pose almost all activity can be taken from us - even calm quiet things like reading or crafts with eyesight deterioration - but particularly physical because we all go down hill at some stage.. and it's important to be comfortable with just ourselves... our thoughts... that sort of thing - then add the recreational activities on as extras -- however it's hard to be that sensible!!! I can talk the talk -- bugger walking the walk!!!
It's early days with the hip Techster - I had mine done in Feb and it did hurt a lot for about a week and then it was magic all of a sudden... hopefully it's not anything gone amiss... do stick close xx