International Army April 2020

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: International Army April 2020

@byebyebridgetjones.........and one for you. :hug:

:congratulatory:

[JackieClaire]

Re: International Army April 2020

Just popped in to say night, night.
I'm a massive list fan............start of with easy and doable. No Mount Everest just yet for you, our Outy, okay.

SIL & niece turned up and sang happy birthday from the end of the drive.............sounds a bit odd with masks on.

My Aunt played this on her organ...........Debbie Reynolds - Tammy - YouTube..
.........Apparently I used to sing it when I was two..............I have no memory of it.

Just zoomed with the kids and partners.

Been an odd one but its been rather lovely.

I highly recommend the Vicar of Dibley.........on Netflix now!!!!!

[satz123]

Re: International Army April 2020

Started this post at 3pm today ....... soooooo busy (not) .........

Evening all

MsA :hug:
Bridge :hug:

Happy birthday Jacks :flowersglow:

Outy - I know that feeling of finishing a 12 hour shift - I worked in manufacturing for 3 years - and the default is alcohol to unwind.
You need to reboot.
Get yourself a really good Netflix series .- MrS is just watching Breaking Bad now & he's amazed how he never tried to watch it before. ( he doesn't work anyway so it's not like he's suddenly more time on his hands like the thousands of others now. I think he just wants to be one of the gang & talk about the latest series he's watched :haha

BB was the thing I looked forward to when I first got sober ... really got hooked on it... and helped me surf any niggling.
OR
Bake bread. Apparently half the country is at it. Tesco ran out of flour today. Just sayin .....

[satz123]

Re: International Army April 2020

See will this work - this is my mother's nursing home they are talking about on air today:

https://www.rte.ie/radio/utils/share/radio1/21752292

[outofchances]

Re: International Army April 2020

I choose the wrong option to relax. I should know better than to discuss anything even mildly contentious with me old fella! I think he argues with himself when there's no one there. :-) On the other hand it can be a draining experience so I'm tired now.
My list was things to do tonight instead of drink. Chatted with Mam, had a frustrating conversation with Dad (I do love him though) and now I;m in bed with the laptop and a cup of tea. I might watch some Netflix. It's a bit crap, but I feel good and the only way I can do that is to not think about my family, so I'm getting twinges of guilt. I also find myself getting on the defensive with regards to my separation. Anger feels better than sadness - it makes me feel more alive. It's a defence against feeling bad about myself - to get all worked up and indignant about what others are "doing to me" - absolves me of blame, you see, makes me feel strong and confident. But it's all a lie really. It's not a mature response, and it always ends badly for me - usually over confidence, and telling the world were to go f itself. Which also means I think f this abstinence lark, and off we go again and end up in a spiral of despair. In other words I need to watch that and try and keep calm.
However even though I got a bit frustrated and that, it wasn't all bad. The auld fella just chuckled the way he does and Mam was smiling because I was out of my room and talking and looking alive.
But yeah, I need to try and keep an even keel because I can very easily lose the run of myself and get over excited with these practical changes I have to make, which will end up either in "celebrating" or "needing to destress" or massive disappointment and giving up on myself. See this is the most frustrating bit. When I try, I do know myself a bit but it still doesn't stop me. Sometimes I lose myself in the noise of the world and don't even see myself coming.

Janey mac, I only popped in to say hello. Me fingers lost the run of themselves!! Thanks for all the shout outs and support guys!! Hope you all are having a good evening

[NoSugar]

Re: International Army April 2020

You’re doing an amazing amount of thinking, Chances. You don’t need to figure out yourself or your relationships or your future housing situation or anything else right now. Actually, all you have to do right now is not drink. And you will be so amazed at how much easier these other things are to deal with after you’ve had a clear head for a while and regained some health.

You would not believe how little I did for her the first four months of quitting. I did my job, did minimal requirements around the house, and sat in a chair, reading, hanging out on MWO, learning about addiction, and that was about it. I quit exercising, I didn’t go out socially, and I didn’t even talk to too many people other than my friends here. It turns out some of my problems that I thought couldn’t solve resolved themselves during my hibernation period!

Treat yourself like you would one of your children if your roles were reversed, Then you’ll be treating yourself the way you deserve. Take care, NS

[IamMary]

Re: International Army April 2020

First of all,
Happy birthday [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION]!
:sendflowers: Its a memorable one, thats for sure!

Fire brigade have just rung (I kid you not) Did we need anything? As they are checking on the vulnerable. They have sorted out a prescription from our GP practice and are delivering it. Also a large box of essential food on its way.

Brit, thats just fantastic.. Well done to all of them. Hope things improve now for Mr A. Is he back in the hospital any time soon?

See will this work - this is my mother's nursing home they are talking about on air today:

https://www.rte.ie/radio/utils/share/radio1/21752292

OMG, I was just watching that on the news. Did you know there was as many deaths? No wonder they tested your mother.
[MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION], is it your fella shes mouthing about or some other poor unfortunate this time? Histrionic personality disorder maybe?

Outy, you need to hold your ground now and not let these thoughts change your direction. You are on a great path now, park talks about separation (easier said than done), at least until morning. Distraction was my savior in those early days..

Watching hunters (amazon prime). Its a bit nuts. Al Pacino is brilliant, as always.

[IamMary]

Re: International Army April 2020

Crossed posts [MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] Sound advice as always.

[IamMary]

Re: International Army April 2020

Good morning Army,
When I first joined the other day I tried to do a big long post and lost the whole thing. I had forgot that can happen. So now am writing it out elsewhere on my laptop then posting when I’m done. Its not ideal as it’s harder for me to refer back to others’ posts because mwo seems to time out on me while I’m typing. It just logs me out. Oh well.
So this morning I went on a good walk. Beautiful autumn day here! Trying to get my routine back in place. Before covid I was doing really well getting fit and losing weight. Having a myriad of health issues which are all improved by weightloss, it is my goal to reach my ‘ideal’ weight for my health. Tricky when the gym is closed. During my recent setback I put on a few kilos, so current goal is to get back to where I was pre-covid.
Have a great day everyone. I am here reading, even if not replying in the way I would wish at times.

Looking forward to the long post Fickle :happy2: The back button usually brings you back to lost posts too.. but Cowboy is also right.
Few here doing weight watchers... so post away on that front too!

[fickle]

Re: International Army April 2020

Good morning Army,
Thanks Mary, I will rabbit away then :thumbsup:
You are sounding much better Outy, sounds like you have made good progress with your thinking.
Mrs Brit, I am so glad the Fire Brigade has got you covered. Well done!
Bridget thank you so much for the Toolbox link! I had completely forgotton about that fabulous resource. I will read it again from end to end :hug:
For me, sleep is key. A lot of healing can happen each night if I sleep properly. This can only happen while I’m AF as booze destroys sleep. My brain is processing of all this stuff that needs to heal. After a few weeks I start to think jeez, how could I have thought that way! I truly become more myself and am able to reflect on my earlier thinking and see how it was mistaken. Knowing the committee is there helps me to recognize why things like urges come up. It is just those parts trying to do their best to protect me. I’ve stopped feeling bad about myself for listening to the wrong committee member. In the past I thought they were all me and I was just as confused as hell about what I wanted. Every time an urge is resisted, it strengthen’s the neural pathway of communication with your proper self (prefrontal cortex) who is capable of self-reflection, knows what is best and will look after you. I also think this part of me is the one that speaks with god.
I recognized a long time ago that the urges were coming from a place that was also trying to look after me, it’s just that those parts are incapable of future thinking, understanding right and wrong or understanding consequences. These are the primitive parts that are strengthened when under the influence and they are not really grown up enough to be taken seriously. I think of them as Trixie (dorsal striatum - ‘lets do it this way because we’ve always done it this way’ ) and Dory (nucleus accumbens - ‘ooh that cupcake looks delicious’).
For me there are 2 kinds of urges. One is when I’m stressed out and need ‘relief’ which is when Trixie chimes in, and the other is when I have FOMO and Dory chimes in to remind me of the ‘pleasure’ I might be missing out on. I’ve realised they are both well-meaning children that I should not listen to. I do not rail at them, any more than I would a child. It is part of my self-compassion to recognize they mean well but are not capable of giving good advice. Every time I ignore them, their voices grow fainter and my smart future building self grows stronger.
A new habit I have developed is after work I sit and relax with a can of ginger kombucha which is a delicious sugar free drink which I truly enjoy and there are no adverse consequences. I actually say to myself when on the way home from work and Trixie pipes up, I will have some kombucha and I will really enjoy that. And I do. 😊

[fickle]

Re: International Army April 2020

X-post NS and can't agree enough

[JackieClaire]

Re: International Army April 2020

Waves to the world,
Just a quicky as I'm over tired from yesterday.......so I didn't sleep well ........kept dropping off and waking up wonder where the feck I was...honestly you'd think I was two years old.
Totally grateful to all those that sent me birthday wishes (especially here) and my family for pulling out the stops but it made realise how much I miss them.:heartbeat:

Get as much rest as you can [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]

Stay safe.
.

[satz123]

Re: International Army April 2020

You’re doing an amazing amount of thinking, Chances. You don’t need to figure out yourself or your relationships or your future housing situation or anything else right now. Actually, all you have to do right now is not drink. And you will be so amazed at how much easier these other things are to deal with after you’ve had a clear head for a while and regained some health.

You would not believe how little I did for her the first four months of quitting. I did my job, did minimal requirements around the house, and sat in a chair, reading, hanging out on MWO, learning about addiction, and that was about it. I quit exercising, I didn’t go out socially, and I didn’t even talk to too many people other than my friends here. It turns out some of my problems that I thought couldn’t solve resolved themselves during my hibernation period!

Treat yourself like you would one of your children if your roles were reversed, Then you’ll be treating yourself the way you deserve. Take care, NS

EXCELLENT succinct post as always [MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION]. That's about how much I did. Went to work & came home.
You couldn't pick a better time [MENTION=24493]outofchances[/MENTION] to go sober - with all these restrictions it's a pain in the arse to have to Q for a few beers or bottle of wine. Noone expects you to socialise either .. so win/win.
Think of your Mam's smile & Dad's chuckle & know you are doing the right thing.

[satz123]

Re: International Army April 2020

Waves to the world,

Get as much rest as you can [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]
.

Jesus JAcks if I rest any more I'll be in a coma :haha:

Looks like I'll be getting a test - being on the 'frontline' (!) n' all :egad: All Nursing home Staff to be tested immediately.

Went to M&S today. Very well organised & I felt safe.
Bought some niceys ...... their Salt & pepper pork belly is gorge ..... only €5........

[satz123]

Re: International Army April 2020

Just a quicky as I'm over tired from yesterday.......so I didn't sleep well .......honestly you'd think I was two years old.

I had that discussion recently - I don't care ...... but no matter what age you are there is always that frisson of excitement in the month of your birthday. :yay: