International Army April 2020

[outofchances]

Re: International Army April 2020

Afternoon or is it evening? How is all the Army doing today?

Never made it into work today. The last few days have been emotionally draining. So much uncertainty now. I have no idea if my marriage is actually breaking up or not. I think she needs so time to process things and make her decision. She keeps putting the ball back in my court. Saying I have to do what I think is best for me. But I want to do what is best for us too and my decisions will be based on whether or not there is any hope for our relationship going forward. Anyway I couldn't sleep last night until about 4am. I woke at 7 and couldn't even open my eyes. I rang in sick at 9.30. I couldn't move until 1pm. I just felt totally drained. And all this after I finally sorted out my accommodation issue - I move in on Tuesday. But even that feels up in the air now because it seems like she's taking it as a sign that I've decided to call it a day and move on. I'm so torn. But I can't stay living where I am. I have no space and I'm living with 2 over 70s. And I can't move back home because he kids don't want to live with me. She told me yesterday that if it was just her that I could move back home and we could sort things out, but she's protecting the kids (almost adults really but you know yourself). So she's absolutely torn as well.

My drinking has put both of us in a situation that neither of us wants to be in. I had more choice than she did though - I made the choice to drink.

I'm really sorry for bringing the mood down guys. I'm starting to wonder is there a more appropriate thread to be posting this stuff. I kinda like it in here though.

And I still didn't drink or use.

[brit]

Re: International Army April 2020

Late afternoon check in! Nothing major happening here, except got another big food parcel so much excitment here! It is a bit like getting a Christmas present.
Dinner tonight is beans on toast with a poached egg on top. I am a culinary genius!

[brit]

Re: International Army April 2020

X post Chancer. Sorry that this is so hard for you but keep on posting. Well done on not drinking or using!

[outofchances]

Re: International Army April 2020

[MENTION=22839]brit[/MENTION] - cheers for that.

You need to grate some cheese onto that toast before you put the beans on. Trust me on this.

[brit]

Re: International Army April 2020

Got some grated cheese in our food parcel!! Living the life ha ha

[NoSugar]

Re: International Army April 2020

I woke up to a series of funny posts here a few hours ago. Thanks for the laughs!

I figured it out awhile ago but imagine my confusion when you guys wrote about sitting in your gardens to eat or read and then Mrs A started running in hers! This is the US definition:
Garden: a small piece of ground used to grow vegetables, fruit, herbs, or flowers.

I imagined you running up and down rows of squash and beans, Mrs A :haha:! And all of you reclining in chairs amongst the basil, peppers, and tomatoes.

It would be nice to imagine you relaxing among the flowers but we usually specify 'flower garden' with 'garden' alone generally meaning vegetables. Fruits are mostly grown in patches or orchards.

I think we use yard synonymously with your garden.

Yard: a piece of ground adjoining a building or house.

Am I right??

[brit]

Re: International Army April 2020

Garden = yard

[NoSugar]

Re: International Army April 2020

Well, enjoy your laps around the yard then :smile:!

[satz123]

Re: International Army April 2020

[MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] ..... yard here would be concrete boring bit of land.
Our 'garden' on the other hand is usually grass and bordered with with flowers & shrubs. Maybe a patio area with table & chairs - for the 3 days of Summer we get each year.
Though I suspect global warming may helping us get extra days last few years.

I'll take a photo of our 'postage stamp' size garden tomorrow.

And Oh dear NS - Mr Trump and the disinfectant and somehow getting ultraviolet light inside us ......:egad:

[satz123]

Re: International Army April 2020

I'm starting to wonder is there a more appropriate thread to be posting this stuff. I kinda like it in here though.

And I still didn't drink or use.

Will ya give over Chancer - that's why we're here. A safe place to get your thoughts out.

But even that feels up in the air now because it seems like she's taking it as a sign that I've decided to call it a day and move on. I'm so torn. But I can't stay living where I am.

She can't have it every way Chancer. Don't back down from moving on - show them that you can make a decision & stick to it.
I think you are very brave and doing the right thing. Putting distance between you will give you & your kids space to think about things.
Once they see you are serious about getting your life in order - they'll start to respect you again.

I'm glad you didn't drink or use :hug:

[Guitarista]

Re: International Army April 2020

I have no idea if my marriage is actually breaking up or not. I think she needs so time to process things and make her decision. She keeps putting the ball back in my court. Saying I have to do what I think is best for me. But I want to do what is best for us too and my decisions will be based on whether or not there is any hope for our relationship going forward.

Hiya Army,

Hi Chances. Sounds like the missus is making good sense. We have to get ourselves right first before anyone or anything around us is right. Talk, talk, talk. With her. If deep in your heart you want to keep the relationship going, then you'd best communicate that to her mate. When we get sober, many many other aspects of our life generally begin to sort themselves out. Take care of yourself and good luck with the new joint.

xpost. Yo Satz!

[IamMary]

Re: International Army April 2020

X post Mr G.
You dont have to make a decision right now. Your starting down a long road, so you do need all the support you can get. Maybe just take the new digs and and give each other a bit of space to heal, the kids included. It sounds to me like there is still a lot of passion there, but do one thing at a time.
How is the 'not drinking' going? Were you an everyday or a binge drinker?

My brain knows the yard/garden explanations, but I still see a concrete corner with bins and old bikes when someone says yard!

Need to get some blonde root hair stuff on the black market.. :eyes:

[fickle]

Re: International Army April 2020

Good morning army, Quick drive past today as am off on a walk. Am re-reading the liver book and will report back on some yummy detox juices :yay:
Chancer, Congratulations on not drinking or using! Well done you! Relationships are a funny thing and I'm getting a sense that Mrs C can be a bit manipulative? Normal as hell, particularly in the circumstances for her to not want you to go now you intend to, however it will mess with your head. I suggest treating the idea that you could move back home as one coming from the panicky bit of her brain that is not thinking straight. Even if you guys were to work things out in future and get back together at some point, where is the harm in your taking space that you badly need right now to get your life in order? You could call it a temporary separation if it makes anyone feel better. But putting distance between yourselves will take the pressure off and allow time for healing. You need proper sleep, which is impossible while in a pressure cooker. You have said a lot about what your dear wife wants, but not much about what you want. That is where counselling might come in for you if you can organise it. The distance from your usual life will also do wonders psychologically. Some time to reflect and a real human to talk to face to face might help. I would caution you against going into counselling saying everything is your fault and everything is because of the booze. I'm not certain that is true because I know personally, booze was a response to a larger situation which was feeling I had no control, no say in anything or way out. I felt I had become a machine or a beast of burden and that basically I didn’t matter. I don't know your situation really and might be reading my own stuff into your story, so just my two cents. Satzy is right, your kids will respect you again given time, when your life is in order again and when you respect yourself more. :hug:

[fickle]

Re: International Army April 2020

Anzac day here so lest we forget - these are the biscuits the ladies used to make to send overseas for the soldiers - very easy and keep a long time https://bakeplaysmile.com/classic-an...e-celebration/

[outofchances]

Re: International Army April 2020

Right lads. I finally feel like things are starting to get sorted. After much conversation and honesty and after the madness of the last couple of weeks have calmed down we have both come to same decision.
I moving into the apartment on Tuesday. We are still married and will behave as such (i.e. I'm not to be carrying on with floozies). We'll give it six months while we both sort through our own personal issues. Then see how we feel. Probably will do some marriage counselling then so we can both finally figure out if we can make this work. All serious issues to be parked until then. A final decision to be made after a year. I could sleep for a week.