International Army April 2020

[fickle]

Re: International Army April 2020

Hello Outy,
Big Congrats on still being sober. :thumbsup: At a time like this, from what I can tell, you really need to be kind to yourself. Focus on basic things, the here and now. Make sure you are eating properly, get into a sleep routine, plan the things you need to right now. Nothing else matters. You will be in a much better state to deal with the future, in the future.
I have found that treating myself like a toddler is the best way to get through stressful times. Self compassion is key. Eat, sleep, walk, light entertainment, put off anything that is not urgent until you start feeling better. All those things will improve your mental health and resilience.
As someone who has been through a lot of fear induced insomnia, I have used meditation apps to get myself through panic attacks in the middle of the night, using breathing and visualization to refocus, and when that doesn’t work there is podcasts, and even silly little games you can play on your phone to get you through. Don’t know if you are having those kinds of problems, but there are ways of getting through it.
Hugs :love:

[stirly-girly]

Re: International Army April 2020

Thinking of you all during these difficult times. I celebrated 10 Years sobriety yesterday. I owe much of that success to you, the members of this amazing forum. I thank you all for your loving support and encouragement. So, some Techie virtual wisdom: I want you to remember that fear does not stop death. It stops life. And worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace. Love, Techie.

Techster - huge congratulations on 10 years sober!!! Your stamina always amazed me and I so admired your positive attitude in even the most challenging of situations and I know you've had your fill of them over the past years. You are a star!!! Wishing you all the best - good health and happiness!!!

[stirly-girly]

Re: International Army April 2020

Okey Dokey - now that no one is "sulking" (it WAS said with tongue-in-cheek!), we can get back to regularly scheduled programming. Not going out unless absolutely necessary, doing what we can to occupy ourselves, and not letting all of this pull us down. It will pass. We are strong (and SOBER!!) and we will get through it.

[MENTION=24493]outofchances[/MENTION] - what Ficks said - baby steps and first and foremost look after yourself. You are now your own parent. Nurture, forgive, be kind to yourself. We have all messed up when drunk - some more than others. That is in the past if you stay sober (so far you're doing a smashing job) and you can only move forward from here. The online support group sounds good - basically whatever you feel comfortable with. As for meeting someone new - that will work itself out in time. Right now, as has been said many times - you need to concentrate on you and put your sobriety first. Really good to have you posting.

Wishing you all a day as enjoyable as you can make it!inkele: :flowerspin: :sohappy:

[satz123]

Re: International Army April 2020

Good Morning Outy, Bridge & Stirls.

Outy what the ladies said above - forget EVERYTHING & look after you. Until you are strong you cannot fix anything.
Go to work , eat chocolate watch Netflix.
Listen to your partner ( unless she's a drama queen ) even then she will know & have seen more of how you behaved than you. Accept it, forgive yourself, then move on.
We all faced those conversations where we were told what we did. Not nice but a wake up call.

Under all the madness there is a gentle soul I can tell by your posts. Allow him out by not pouring alcohol in.
Don't analyse your marriage at this stage - leave that till later when you are stronger.
Perhaps not living together is the right thing for everyone? A bit of distance will help.


Another day at the front line today. It was a little full on yesterday as the residents returned to 'normal' life. A lot of wandering without any social distancing I'm afraid.
It was the first day I felt anxious about being in there. I know now how the nurses & carers feel ....... they are literally in direct contact with the virus & then have to go home to families.

Never one to be a 'hero' with me knickers outside me tights ; I will re-consider today if I will continue - the creepy nature of this virus - who know how it will affect you.
I am not the spring chicken I used to be. More of an 'ol boiler at this stage :haha:

Later :horse:

[stirly-girly]

Re: International Army April 2020


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[rustop59]

Re: International Army April 2020

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Afternoon all. Sorry you feel thread is empty Stirly but it ebbs and flows and with different time zone we all dip in when we can.

Great advice already given Outy. Take care of yourself and give yourself time. The more alcohol free time you have the clearer things will become. Can’t remember if I congratulated you Techie but if not :goodjob: You are very brave going into work Satz, take care of yourself .

Absolutely beautiful day here so spending most of my time in the garden. Heaven.

[outofchances]

Re: International Army April 2020

Good Morning Outy, Bridge & Stirls.

Outy what the ladies said above - forget EVERYTHING & look after you. Until you are strong you cannot fix anything.
Go to work , eat chocolate watch Netflix.
Listen to your partner ( unless she's a drama queen ) even then she will know & have seen more of how you behaved than you. Accept it, forgive yourself, then move on.
We all faced those conversations where we were told what we did. Not nice but a wake up call.

Under all the madness there is a gentle soul I can tell by your posts. Allow him out by not pouring alcohol in.
Don't analyse your marriage at this stage - leave that till later when you are stronger.
Perhaps not living together is the right thing for everyone? A bit of distance will help.


Another day at the front line today. It was a little full on yesterday as the residents returned to 'normal' life. A lot of wandering without any social distancing I'm afraid.
It was the first day I felt anxious about being in there. I know now how the nurses & carers feel ....... they are literally in direct contact with the virus & then have to go home to families.

Never one to be a 'hero' with me knickers outside me tights ; I will re-consider today if I will continue - the creepy nature of this virus - who know how it will affect you.
I am not the spring chicken I used to be. More of an 'ol boiler at this stage :haha:

Later :horse:

Thanks's satz. Hope you are keeping well and staying safe. Yeah, she can be a bit of a drama queen but suffice it to say two gardai were not enough to get me into the car. She's had enough of me and I don't blame her. So I ate some food today and rested. Starting to make some progress with the living arrangements - renting is the only option for now. Mam and dad are being great.

I think you're right though - we are better off living apart and should have done this 10 years ago.

I have a lot of anger inside and sometimes it all comes flying out. I used to direct it towards myself, or just break down and cry and scream. But the last 2 times I got violent.

My head is so tied up in knots. So I'm just trying to switch off and relax. I just had a small dinner and I'm going for a shower in a bit. I have work tomorrow thank God.

I hope everyone else is doing well

[satz123]

Re: International Army April 2020

Outy - you seem to be doing all the right things.
There appears to be a mass exodus here in the Army - so God help you - you are left with me ..... :egad:
And I'm now in my darkened room trying to decompress after a day in the madness.

I have a lot of anger inside and sometimes it all comes flying out. I used to direct it towards myself, or just break down and cry and scream. But the last 2 times I got violent.

Perhaps you feel you are not being listened to and this is frustration manifested ? You could try some 'talk therapy' ..... never did it myself but I've heard great things about it. If the Company you work with have Employee Assistance Programme - maybe start there.
I'd hate to think of you sitting at home with no-one to talk to.... ( you are a bloke after all - and there's no football?)

[satz123]

Re: International Army April 2020

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Ah really sorry Stirls to feel the need to do that - but I understand - I don't have any words ..... xx

[outofchances]

Re: International Army April 2020

Talk therapy is wonderful but sometimes I'm too ashamed of my actions to admit them to a stranger. I get 4 sessions with my job and was about to take them up last January when life got in the way.
Not being listened too, not being respected, feeling ignored, belittled and diminished. Then drinking/using/acting out to block all that out. Giving people an actual reason to berate me. Breaking the bonds of trust every single time. Seeing the hurt in their faces. I have Mam and Dad to talk to - Mam forgives everything and Dad blames everybody else. Then he starts ranting and I have to leave. But at least I know they care. They are being very supportive in their own way.

Enjoy your relaxtion time satz.

[IamMary]

Re: International Army April 2020

Well Mers if you don't hit the bottle with all your gang home all day every day - you never will eh ? :haha:
Any blood shed yet ?

Ah sure usual ups and downs. Was worried about the 16 year old, junior cert is off now, so motivation is zero, 2pm was the normal wake up time, xbox until late.... Anyway, he was able to start his summer job early, so that's a weight off my mind.
Id say if I was still drinking now, Id be a mess.. Wine O'Clock would be lunch time at the latest.. with no other commitments to be anywhere outside the house or the worry of being over the limit the next morning!!!

How was work everyone? Bridge, you need a few voodoo dolls. Nothing too violent, just bash some heads together.
Satz, what do you rekon on continuing to work??? How did it go today? Its a very tough decision.

Fickle and Outy, your both doing great..
[MENTION=24493]outofchances[/MENTION], I second all the sound advise here. Dont overthink yet, plenty of time to analyse later. Just keep your self busy and keep talking here, to the online group and your folks, who sound brilliant.

[NoSugar]

Re: International Army April 2020

I'm glad you feel supported by your parents, You-DO-have-another-chance. The name you chose when you joined reveals the despair you were feeling. I hope with time passing and reading the comments in this forum, you're a little lighter. When I read your posts in the Newbies Nest, I had thought 'he seems like a really nice guy'. And I bet you are! It must hurt to know that people you care about have seen a man different to who you really are. The real you is fine. Addictive drinking has masked that guy but you're putting an end to that now - you're taking the chance to gain the life you want and deserve.

My daughter is an online therapist. That type of support might be more comfortable for you. You can interact via video, audio, text, e-mail, or a combination. The other great thing is that you can have daily support and get feedback in the moment rather than waiting for a far-off appointment. Anyway, it's something to consider. Or, keep talking here! I found that by writing out what I was thinking and feeling clearly enough for someone to understand me helped me understand myself better. I promise you that this won't happen here:

Not being listened too, not being respected, feeling ignored, belittled and diminished.

We want to hear your story and if we can, offer some help. I greatly respect anyone willing to try to quit drinking. It takes strength and commitment. Take care, NS

[NoSugar]

Re: International Army April 2020

I worry about you going to work at the care center, [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]. Whatever your decision, keep yourself safe :hug:.

[satz123]

Re: International Army April 2020

I worry about you going to work at the care center, [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]. Whatever your decision, keep yourself safe :hug:.

Thanks NS. :hug:

[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION] I've made a decision to take a few days off. I've only been working Tues/ Wed/ Thurs .... but it's 8 hours a day full on. Residents & Staff at the desk constantly - that sometimes I feel trapped by them all ....
So I will not go in again until next Tuesday.
I'm not being disloyal because as Mers has heard for months I really don't owe them anything. I've been in all through this so far and the carers are starting to return who had been ill.

Anyway my little Rosie misses me & sits at the door as I'm going .... :heartbeat:

[Mick]

Re: International Army April 2020

hiya all...howzwee today then?hope we are all doing well.I see the mad woman Satzy is still here !!how are you doing?well this lot has put my travelling jaunt in the bin for a good wee while ...Hi NS how are you doing too then?hope all is well with you
one thing with this is the round tuit list is getting shorter.....
Hi out of chances ..how are you doing?as I recall my early days ...not too clever at the moment ..sounds like youve got a few things to deal with ..ok here you go ...how do you eat an elephant?...a chunk at a time ...and thats what youve got to do do ..baby steps bit at a time .Ask yourself ...do you really want to sort all this out? what do you see as the final outcome? answer them and plan a strategy from that ..happy to chat to you any time ,but theres a ton of experience in here ...most as madas a box o frogs like ..but there you go

hiya stirly ,Molls Jacs rust et al..just my luck ..I turn up at the door and everyone has done one!

take it easy folks and stay safe