As for Mr. JC - like Molls says - even the best of marriages/relationships have their ups and downs. Funny enough my special friend complained one day that he sometimes missed the arguments with his former partner, since the two of us never fight. We agree that we disagree. That's as far as it goes. I asked him if he wanted me to start an argument about something and he just smiled and said no! It was the hurling of "smart" comments back and forth that he missed, the trying to "outdo" the other person - not the actual arguing itself. You and Mr. JC will get back on track. These past few months have been very hard on everyone. Again :hug:
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International Army Mayl 2020
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
Originally posted by JackieClaire View Post
As for Mr. JC - like Molls says - even the best of marriages/relationships have their ups and downs. Funny enough my special friend complained one day that he sometimes missed the arguments with his former partner, since the two of us never fight. We agree that we disagree. That's as far as it goes. I asked him if he wanted me to start an argument about something and he just smiled and said no! It was the hurling of "smart" comments back and forth that he missed, the trying to "outdo" the other person - not the actual arguing itself. You and Mr. JC will get back on track. These past few months have been very hard on everyone. Again :hug:
Originally posted by mollyka View PostFor every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
AF since 10/10/2015:yay:
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
Oh JC that's really upsetting. I really don't miss those dust ups with partners. They can really throw you.
I might put my head down and have a good read back tomorrow. Rumination about the future has made me very tired.
Night all. Hope things are better for you today, JC xIf your 8 year old self met you, would they be proud?
Rejoined life 20/5/19
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
I'm still here, still sober. Just working hard and laying low. My heads a bit done in with all the marriage stuff so I'm trying to keep myself to myself for a bit or I might just end up losing my cool. Can't be doing with people and talking right now. I'm just getting on with the day to day. Work is the only thing I feel like doing to keep me busy so that's what I'm doing. I'm sick of thinking about sobriety and changing and identifying my faults. I'm not too bad the way I am, so long as I don't drink. If other people don't like that, then that's there problem. I'll just have to deal with the fallout myself. And when all this work stuff gets too much, then I'll find something else to do to occupy my time. I know how I get myself and I'll be fine in a few days
Anyhow, I hope your all doing ok. Isn't this weather fabulous?
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
Here we think we're bad. My sister's husband over last couple of weeks has caught 18 rats in traps in the back garden :egad:
Yesterday 6 baby mice under the cooker - JESUS !!
She lives almost on the the Grand Canal in Dublin and the house next door is let to a gang of dirty feckers coming & going & that might account for random rats - but mice at this time of year ?
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
Originally posted by mollyka View Postthe little shits on beaches with their bags of cans in groups of 95 (Haven't seen them but probably out there somewhere ;-) ) but your average youngster missing out on all the 'rites of passage' -- talking to a woman who's 17 year old came home from school 12 March - threw off her school uniform not realising she would NEVER put it on again -- bitter sweet I'm guessing
Ah Molls I hate that they missed their schooling and exams but anything else they can get over that. Not the end of the world. ..... people around them are dying - nothing compares to that.
I can't remember a fuss when I did my Leaving Cert can you ?
Did it ,got results, went home - start looking for a job...
( but I may have been one of the little shits - but with only 3 friends and a bottle of Harp ) :haha:Last edited by satz123; May 29, 2020, 09:01 AM.
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
Originally posted by satz123 View Post:hahaha:
Ah Molls I hate that they missed their schooling and exams but anything else they can get over that. Not the end of the world. ..... people around them are dying - nothing compares to that.
I can't remember a fuss when I did my Leaving Cert can you ?
Did it ,got results, went home - start looking for a job...
( but I may have been one of the little shits - but with only 3 friends and a bottle of Harp ) :haha:
Seriously tho -- yeah we did things very simply back then -- even the 'debs' was a stretch... but - it IS different now and achully -- now that I think of it - I finished my leaving very late - one of the last exams it was music so pretty much on my own going down the avenue - (bearing in mind I'd LIVED there for 8 years ) and I do remember thinking 'is that it?' -- maybe because so many of them study in the library and I get to know them -- nice kids -- and... that's it...
And I was definitely one of the little shits -- just there weren't a lot of virus's out there at the time:hahaha:
Afternoon MrChance good to see you...Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
contentedly NF since 8/04/14
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
I watched The Crown & very disappointed when it ended - at the 25 year thingy. I thought we'd get Diana & all that ?
Poor 'ol Charles - wimp - if all that is true I'm happy for him he's happy - but did he have to ruin her life and her childrens?
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
I am trying not to go on about the weight thing less as I realise not everyone is enjoying that topic. Its just for me it had become a life-death situation. I am quite a small person and had been trying to manage my weight for years mainly because it was preventing me walking far. Nothing was working, I just kept gaining weight and was developing diabetes. My eyesight was damaged, and a lot of other health problems were showing up. My relationship with food was totally addictive and emotional. I had to bring it under control urgently and in my journey getting AF understanding my emotional relationship with food has been critical. Weight should not be anything to worry about for anyone who is healthy. It should not blight your life. One of the things I feel so passionate about is finding the thing that works because I think the fact that medicine has been giving us terrible advice for decades is the crime of the century. When I think about how my parents died so young and in such awful circumstances, I can see now it was totally the fault of this wrong advice. I am having the same health issues as they had but am handling it differently. Thank god we are living in a time better advice is out there. But it enrages me that doctors are still giving out of date terrible advice. One of my co-workers is same age as me, obese and on about 18 different drugs and has to have days off all the time because of the pain. She has no idea diet could change her life and its not my business to tell her. She would only think I am an arrogant pissant. But that could be me, in fact it was me only a year ago. The only difference was I refused to take the drugs on offer and kept researching and trying things until I found the answers. I am now only a bit overweight, can happily walk 6k in an hour and my health has improved on all levels including my eyesight and I don’t have that addictive relationship with food any more. I am so grateful I could cry.
[MENTION=7261]Guitarista[/MENTION] when I think about my tourist fantasy, I realise it was a form of practicing gratitude.. of stepping outside my grumpy ‘daily grind’ mindset, seeing my surrounds as if only here a short while, I was able to appreciate everything with fresh eyes and feel gratitude for the moment. By doing that I was taking a holiday in my mind.
[MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] I watched those animation videos on the 3 principals and enjoyed – they are very much aligned with my own thinking. Thanks! Here is a link for anyone who hasn’t seen them:
Last edited by fickle; May 29, 2020, 08:46 PM.
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
Originally posted by satz123 View PostAnd me [MENTION=4040]fickle[/MENTION] - it's trying to implement it in every day settings.
I :heartbeat: Russell Brand - always have - from when he was bold brat on the telly to now he's sober & talking sense in a sensible way.. I could listen to him all night.
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
Morning! 4th birthday of the week!! I'm exhausted!! Today's the big one...daughter/princess...ffs add into that picnic lunch laid on for them all last Sat..organised by....guess who?? But guess who did all the cooking? Not herself I can tell you!! Anyway...one more day and I can BREATH!!
How's all..Sun still shining...(bit tired of it tbh...whatever happened to our lovely 4 seasons in one day???)Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
contentedly NF since 8/04/14
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
Morning and waves to the world,
Virus news first and it's not good...............we've had another top dog................this time a member of Parliament (one of Boris's new mates) with all the symptoms of the virus who also couldn't find anywhere safe in London.............took a 250-mile train journey home while coughing and snotting all over the place.......to the north of England.
Now the good............
Thank you for listening and talking to me.............it was a bittersweet day yesterday. I loved my Dad so much and both Jenny and the S&H kept in touch all day. We brought up two very decent human beings.
Well that was one shit=storm of a row. We don't have them often PTL.............in fact the last was 30th June 2018. We don't go minor skirmishes we go for blood.
Its better today..............spent a long time talking without hurling things we's done 30 years ago at each other.
Thank you for listening to me. :heartbeat: I think it may be to do with the fact that Mr. JC is actually seeing and hearing other adults.
[MENTION=8529]mollyka[/MENTION].....another June birthday, you must have had some busy Septembers
Weather reportage...........boiling............but blowing a gale. Luckily we know our neighbours so they'll bring the washing back.
And even better news my new little pal from across the road gave me another bag of crisps at the clapping on Thursday. ............in fact they were cheesy quaversIt could be worse, I could be filing.
AF since 7/7/2009
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
Originally posted by fickle View PostI am trying not to go on about the weight thing less as I realise not everyone is enjoying that topic. Its just for me it had become a life-death situation....One of the things I feel so passionate about is finding the thing that works because I think the fact that medicine has been giving us terrible advice for decades is the crime of the century. When I think about how my parents died so young and in such awful circumstances, I can see now it was totally the fault of this wrong advice. I am having the same health issues as they had but am handling it differently. Thank god we are living in a time better advice is out there. But it enrages me that doctors are still giving out of date terrible advice.
I am with you on feeling frustrated that the health of many people is being destroyed by the way we eat but that when we speak up, we're often dismissed or ridiculed.
When I was diagnosed with celiac disease in 1990 and had to quit eating gluten, it was really a challenge because few people knew what it was and processed foods weren't labeled so I mainly ate whole foods (which was a challenge at first that turned out to be a blessing!). For many years people thought my diet was weird but their response to me was sympathetic. Over the years as more and more people realized their health was vastly better when they avoided gluten, it became much easier to eat gluten free. Everything is labeled and most restaurants have GF menus. However, at the same time, people who didn't know I had been GF for many years assumed I was part of a crazed group eating an unhealthy fad diet. So while I appreciate that it is easier to eat, I don't like being looked at as being self-involved, high-maintenance, and diet-obsessed.
Then like you, I developed pre-diabetes. My experience with gluten and my education led me to to explore dietary strategies. My grad degrees are in nutrition and I work in a very main-stream nutrition field that promotes the standard 'eat low fat, breakfast is the most important meal of the day' advice so I had a lot of un-learning and bucking of authority to do. But - I haven't had blood sugar or addictive eating problems for years and a happy side effect is that for the most part I'm very weight-stable while for most of my adult life it took a lot of deprivation and exercise to be the size I thought I should be and that sadly, my self-esteem was tied to. At the moment it seems that all my summer clothes shrunk over the winter :wink: and I'm annoyed about that, especially because I'm not going out to buy new ones, but I no longer feel bad about myself because I apparently gained a few pounds (I don't know b/c I don't think weight is a very useful metric and so don't get weighed except at the doctor).
Anyway, I've found that many people feel threatened by others who make different diet choices then they do. I know some people in my life feel judged by me when they eat sweets or drink alcohol in my presence despite the fact that I never say anything about it. Apparently not participating speaks louder than words. Turning down sugary treats offered to me sometimes makes the giver feel like I'm rejecting their love. Declining drinks with friends and not participating in the rituals somehow undermines the group. And, writing about what works for me in the hope that it might help someone else has led to some unnecessarily harsh exchanges. But, it makes me very happy to hear about your success with low carb/keto/IF and I hope that maybe some lurker reading our stories will be inspired to investigate ways to improve their health, too, whether by these protocols or some other changes to what they drink and eat.
Personalized nutrition is a growing field that I hope becomes mainstream. It is great that the 'eat and drink in moderation, 3 square meals a day' approach works for many people - but it's important that for those of us for whom it's a disaster the word gets out that we've got inexpensive, non-medical, lifestyle change options for regaining health. Fortunately, more and more physicians and other health practitioners -voices of authority- are adopting this approach.
Ok, back off my soapbox :smile:. Have a great weekend, NS
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
I miss hugs the most. It's what I crave currently. That feeling of closeness. But at least I have the awareness now to realise that AL won't fill that hole inside me. And it wouldn't matter if everyone forgave me in the morning and wanted me back at home. I can't forgive myself yet. And also, for some reason that I haven't fully figured out yet, home wasn't always a great environment for me.
My outlook was once described by a therapist as childish - not in a derogatory fashion, but in the sense that I had not really matured emotionally. Everyone seems to be doing fine at home without me. Little things here and there show me that I'm not needed. I feel like I've been replaced. It's just that her friends and family have rallied around her to give her support and I'm grateful for that, but I find it hard not to indulge in the selfish feelings - "what about me?". I don't want to here about the nice day they had or the holiday they are planning because I'm not involved. "Poor me, I can't go". Which in turn means I've gone backwards and I'm not taking full responsibility for my actions. A lot of it is my addictive voice looking for a reason to drink. A lot of this overtime I'm doing is running away and hiding. It's also punishment because I know I will be very tired after it. It's also a big fuck you because it wasn't something I hadn't been allowed to do for a long time. The one positive thing is that when I'm working nights I can't drink during the day and then obviously I can't drink that night either. Then if I do 2 shifts extra I only have a day and a half off before my next shift.
So with everything I do there is this constant battle going on in my head between positivity and negativity and I'm currently feeding the negative side.
On the subject of nutrition - I've given up trying. Which is part of the reason I feel like crap. I have to find a way to snap out of this attitude because it never gets me anywhere.
Sorry for the downer on this beautiful sunny day. I'm trying to process and work out a few things in my head and I find writing it out knowing it will be read very effective.Last edited by outofchances; May 30, 2020, 01:13 PM.
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
I'm trying to process and work out a few things in my head and I find writing it out knowing it will be read very effective.
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Re: International Army Mayl 2020
I am trying not to go on about the weight thing less as I realise not everyone is enjoying that topic. Its just for me it had become a life-death situation.
[MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] :applause2:
Excellent post as usual.
Now with COVID-19 - weight has come out as an increased risk - with worse prognosis in patients with obesity, especially in the young.
Weight excess is a well-established respiratory disease risk so I suppose it's no surprise.
Being overweight will shorten your life.
So IMO it is a very important topic for a gang of alcoholics who've saved their lives already by quitting the grog.
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